Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort

[Lolleedee]

OH, Chipper, I am so sorry that you and your Dad had to say goodbye!  Knowing that the time is near never makes it easier when the moment is upon us.  I am so glad that you had closure with your Dad!  I know as a parent myself, that all we ever want from our children is their happiness and well being-even if it is at the expense of our own.  Honor your father by living your best and happiest life!

Just remember you have an entire "family" here who very much care about you!  If I could give you a big hug from here, I definitely would!!!  Lean on us if you need too!

[Chip (OP)]

@Lolleedee, when you have no kids, virtual communites can certainly help fill that void.

you may not like the song but the sentiment is priceless.

[Oxyphile]

My condolences, chipper. It is comforting to know that your father died peacefully and is no longer in pain. I hope you're doing okay. Keep your head up!

[Chip (OP)]

Mom and Dad, very much in love (for over 70 years and only a few weeks ever apart):

(No, they have never taken any recreational drugs ever, in case you were wondering where i get my urges from)

[Im an asshole]

Honestly some beautiful shit. RIP.

[Chip (OP)]

My condolences, chipper. It is comforting to know that your father died peacefully and is no longer in pain. I hope you're doing okay. Keep your head up!

honestly, it couldn't happen soon enough for all involved ... i am handling it far better than i thought i would, probably because we all have to die and the happiest one wins. Thank you, Oxy.

[Chip (OP)]

Honestly some beautiful shit. RIP.

Isn't it ? Plenty of junkies have big hearts and that makes many of us feel better about our chosen path. Good people abound. Thanks to you to, whoever you are.

[Im an asshole]

Can i just be honest? It seems like this whole thing is more about you than your dad. What about you? How are you holding up?

[Fleas Bass]

My respects and condolences chipper.

He seemed like one tough cookie based on what I have read. I really do hope this time is as smooth for you and the family as possible.

Much love,
-Bass

[Chip (OP)]

Can i just be honest? It seems like this whole thing is more about you than your dad. What about you? How are you holding up?

Thanks for checking up on me, i have been busy rebuilding my Intranet's Mail Server and fiddling with my DNS whilst backing up backups of this forum, my intranet, the router i built and even my desktop.

Keeping busy is the best medicine right now and the crystal is making it all tick over nicely.

[Chip (OP)]

My respects and condolences chipper.

He seemed like one tough cookie based on what I have read. I really do hope this time is as smooth for you and the family as possible.

Much love,
-Bass

Thank you so much. i'm handling it very well and the sense of relief and knowing that it went smoothly all are helping.

[Chip (OP)]

Can i just be honest? It seems like this whole thing is more about you than your dad. What about you? How are you holding up?

My sister has made all the funeral (very small affair, cremation only as we all wanted) arrangements for Friday, so that's sorted.

Well, thank you.

[candy]

Everyone deals with the death of a loved one in their own way and in their own time.
Just from what you and I shared, it seems to me you were able to find closure just as you shared here.

Keep sharing. This is still raw and you may experience some ups and downs.
Much love to you Chipper.

[nikita70]

I'm saying like "sorry for your loss, Chipper", because we, humans tend to emphatize with our friends'/buddies' suffering and grief.

However... what has happened to you, your Family and your Dad is the BEST way, the WORST could "appear", isn't it?
So maybe you are at least a little bit "privileged" at that point no one is able to be delighted, as a rule?

The best scenario ever one could expect, as the PERFECT one isn't available...

If one's life is fullfilling we are talking about "someone being lucky".
How to call the situation the person is taken away/passes away relatively smoothly, after a life well-lived, surrounded by the loved ones?

Should we really be to afraid/avoid the word "lucky" in this contest, since our culture used "not to settle for just the 'better one'" in its ongoing rush for ABSOLUTENESS and PERFECTION?

Since DEATH ISN'T PERFECT, as a rule, never, (it could be lesser evil the most), should we deny it, because it just "doesn't fit"? 


Good to hear your Father has put His mind up to the fact you are an addict-I'm sure it has improved and straighten your relationship.
You must have been really tight after your Dad got a chance to overcome His prejudice and resentment, as you took "a risk" of being honest with Him.

---

It's over three years since my own Dad passed away, He got taken away completely unexpectedly, just left the hous, drove away by His car to the hospital for dialysis and we didn't see Him no longer alive.
He left His laptop turned on in His office, work in progress on the screen...


It was startling and tough enough itself, but what made things even worse was we didn't even know exactly why and how He actually passed away that night, did He suffering or not, was aware of He is dying...? He may have had some special last wish or just a wish to see someone, talk to, to explain what left unexplained the entire life... There's no way to find out anything excepting cold, official info about His last hours, since my Mother picked up the call after everything was over.
 
I also know for sure that being a tough guy as for the matters of life, so to say, my Dad was still kinda secretly scared of death, decay etc...
 
Being busy and creative all life long, He seemed not to be able to wrap His head around the idea one day He's going to simple fade away and all His work gone, like that-just turn off, as the world is still going on...or maybe the contrary...

It makes me feel so uneasy... to deal with the loss/missing one's presence, face, words etc. is one thing (and belongs to those who stay alive) but there's also some more unsettling, darker side of the mourning-I can vague feel it every time I kinda "take the departed one perspective".

The sense of loss is always somewhat selfish, one way or another, more or less, as this oddly feeling I'm talking about is completely selfless.

It's like mourn the departed person IN THEIR OWN  NAME, as they aren't in position even mourn themselves anymore... I think it concerns people we know for sure they were scared of passing away and wanted to cling this world for any price.
I'm like "Oh God, poor my Dad, if He only knew He died (or is dying) He would be really scared".

Really hard to explain, as it's paradoxically itself and refers to inexpressible...

Sorry for rambling, it has to be some really modest, non-self focused post...     
     


 
 

[Chip (OP)]

what a sad way for all involved to see him go.

I'm sorry for all the loose end your own dad left you, that can't be easy.

I'll wonder how i will cope with the mourning, now that you brought it up but thanks for your thoughts on the matter.

[Tony]

Hello Chipper,

I have not logged in for a while due to my own health problems. So when I saw this it really hit me. I can only imagine the
grief and pain you must feel. Please accept my sincere condolences.   

You are kind man. Your folks did a good job in raising you brother.

Kindest regards,

Tony 2016