Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort

[Chip (OP)]

i am repeating myself but it's helping me by sharing it.

Dad died at 19:58, 8th September 2016 (Sydney time), a few weeeks from his 93rd. birthday.

Lucky guy had a great life and a great wife .. he went out on a cloud of Morphine and Midazolam, with all our goodbyes said and with much closure.

As i said, may we all be that lucky ...

Here are my parents, in love and for over 70 years !

[theSWPK]

I'm sorry to hear that your father passed, but I am relieved to know that he is no longer in pain.
Hang in there Chipper.

I'm glad you were able to be with him up until the end.
My grandfather died alone in a nursing home because they never called us. It still pains me to think of it.

[Chip (OP)]

you're serious, aren't you ? WOW -- man, that's just slack - there are some cold people out there; i can imagine how you must've felt - it's a type of emotional theft.

dying alone is my own biggest fear.

thanks, bro'

[NZniceguy]

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your father mate. Sounds like you and your family have been through a bit in the last few months with this. Good to hear he went peacefully.....may we all go like that. Just be careful with grief and using as it can trigger some pretty self destructive behaviour and noone can blame you if you went that way...I think we all have those moments at times like this.....easy to say fuck it and go extra hard on the gear.... Take care mate and i hope the next week or two are as good as they can be.

[Chip (OP)]

Thanks, NZNG ... i have been playing this scenario over and over already so the grief can only improve and evolve into acceptance.

it hurts less knowing that this was his wish.

i've stopped injecting but a little bit of extra "P", as you call it, is all that's needed -- strictly therapeutic doses only.

i'm now being kind to myself and want to be more available for my currently accepting but naturally, a bit despondent mother.

we've had plenty of time to get used to this.

[Dopeless Hopefiend]

Sorry to hear about your dad chipper. I'm so glad that he passed peacefully surrounded by those who love him. I lost my grandpa & my husband about a month apart in 2014.  Heartbreaking as it was, I found a lot of comfort in the fact that they were both able to die at home with their loved ones there with them to the very end. I hope to be so lucky when it's my time as well.
Sending much love and prayers of comfort to you, your mom & your family.

[Chip (OP)]

THANK YOU !

Your husband also ? I had no idea. That would have been extremely difficult, on top of your grandfather and so soon.

They also had a nice exit and that really make it easier on us who are left.

Thanks for the well wishes, they've been expecting this for a while and that's been a great help.

All this still makes me want to grow old but not too old like dad did ... all is ask for is another thirty years and if I can't get that then at least let our mother die before i do ... i feel that I owe them that.

I hope that you have found or are still looking for a partner.

[dizzle]

Chipper I'm glad that you are at peace with this. Losing someone is tough no matter how you slice it.


RIP

[Chip (OP)]

Thanks Dizzle, I am at peace with it. It is also tough but we have to keep going forward and remember to keep making new relationships.

[EMC]

My condolences brother. RIP

[sektorgaz]

RIP, please accept my condolenses.

[Opi-ette]

My condolences to you and your Mom and family. I'm glad you had a chance to tell him what
you needed to while he was still lucid. You'll never have to live with the dreaded "should have"
running through your mind.

I lost my Dad 10 years ago this December so I really do feel and understand your pain. Cherish
the good memories, you'll be surprised how certain things you see or hear will trigger a forgotten memory and eventually you will be able to think about him and smile. You'll always miss him but
it does get easier over time.

[Chip (OP)]

Thank you all for your condolences.

I hardly knew him as well as I did in his final months.

I grew up very spoilt because I only have sight in one eye and I think my parents took on guilt for that.

He used to get me anything I wanted when I was only a kid so i am now so grateful for that.

I knew he would go first because he had dementia.

And he did so I was prepared.

The beautiful thing was that when I realised, I wasted no time, spending as much time as I could to comfort him.

My only regret was telling him I was an addict but I felt honesty to be the best policy and was hated for it, prior.

But he overcame that hatred when recently first hospitalized so that's the best thing ever about us.

He was a top bloke but very tough on me and was a health and exercise nut.

He spent his entire working life in New Zealand as a taxi driver but he was his own boss and we never went without. He worked from before I woke up to way past my bedtime.

What a guy. He truly was a busy but lucky guy ... only my sister, mom and I are left. He was cool with me never having given him my own children.

What surprised me was his swift demise.

He's back "home" now, from wherever he came from.

The suffering is over and my new life began tonight.

Life goes on.

[neighbor]

You sound lucky to have had a good father. and without saying what already goes without saying, I know how you feel Chip.

I hope the process of his death from this point on isnt a pain in the ass. It's getting kicked while your down to be slammed by any bureaucratic bullshit after your loss. 

and out on a cloud of midazolam and morphine. if only we were all so lucky.

[Lolleedee]

OH, Chipper, I am so sorry that you and your Dad had to say goodbye!  Knowing that the time is near never makes it easier when the moment is upon us.  I am so glad that you had closure with your Dad!  I know as a parent myself, that all we ever want from our children is their happiness and well being-even if it is at the expense of our own.  Honor your father by living your best and happiest life!

Just remember you have an entire "family" here who very much care about you!  If I could give you a big hug from here, I definitely would!!!  Lean on us if you need too!