My body is finally fighting back. - urgent

[Zoops]

Me, ME? Well, I just finished off the second of two 24oz steel Reserve 211's (8.1% alc/vol beer for you non-us type people), and that's after drinking up 3lb worth of PST, with a second wash, giving a total volume of 3qts. (0.75gal).

THEN, I made a Kraft Mac-n-Cheese dinner, added in a can of tuna fish, and ate that fucker right up. Thinkin of going down to the 7-11 now to bum a couple smokes and maybe buy a beer...

Can't wait till Thursday when I next get $$.

- Zoops out.

[Chip]

I use a gas stove lighter and aim for vapeing at sub-burn temps, rocking the pipe too, it's tricky and beats injecting, so there are some benefits.

just by using only once per week for the most part, I then live an otherwise normal life; that's my optimal frequency.

what it is, it's a bit of crystal "chipping", by another name 

crystal chip. says "slow down, bro'"

If you're only using once a week keep it up! There are a lot of people on Meth that would kill for that self control!

i wish it were all by choice as i am unemployed ... but it works. i'll take that as a compliment.

[The Ryan (OP)]

I use a gas stove lighter and aim for vapeing at sub-burn temps, rocking the pipe too, it's tricky and beats injecting, so there are some benefits.

just by using only once per week for the most part, I then live an otherwise normal life; that's my optimal frequency.

what it is, it's a bit of crystal "chipping", by another name 

crystal chip. says "slow down, bro'"

It's a little better than the IV crack binge I was on for about a month before the crystal, had to carry around vinegar 24/7, I spilled a bottle in my car and it stunk like vinegar for like a week, super embarrassing. Plus in the bathroom every 10 minutes. Fucking coke, ugh.

Wish I had that money back..

But yea, I feel horrendous without crystal, the heart attack scare that prompted the creation of this thread was my only day without dosing, was gonna try to take a break, and before morning dose I'm very dizzy, vision is blurry, etc. If it's gonna be like that panic attack, think i'm going to die, vertigo, dizzy, crap feeling any time I try to quit, I dunno if I will be able to stop.

self control just isn't my forte with stims lately, which is strange because I have excellent self control with benzos. Maybe knowing I will start flopping like a fish if I go without helps, and bupe, well that doesn't require much willpower to have self control with.

Pretty sure everyone thinks I'm gay also, since in this scene it's a lot of gays. So me in my room, up all night with 3 absolute flaming homosexuals, looks normal, right? Turning me out is gonna be a bigger challenge than they think though, bring a few ounces over and we can talk. 

[Daughter of Dionysus]

Ryan
Sometimes when I was crashing
I would just eat up straight pusdo
It helps with the crash. I hope you v Sr vokg

[Chip]

how's your health, Ryan ?

i hope you have some days of regenerative sleep under your belt.

[The Ryan (OP)]

Just a little update on this situation.
It's over, very, very soon.

The scene is hot, almost positive some people are going to start getting handcuffs for the holidays, the dope costs twice as much, and the money is tapped in every way.

It's amazing how quick life can flip-flop, 4 months ago I had a plush bank account, and a relatively under control life, for an addict of my caliber.

Now I'm back to being broke as fuck, scraping by, hard drugs daily all day, every day. Christ..

Anyway, have used meth every day since that original post. Lord have mercy...

But, unless I start robbing liquor stores or selling my ass (I am a terrible robber and have no ass) then yea, the jig is up.
 
I am still getting these brain zaps unless I'm dosed up nice and proper. They suck, but I think I can manage them for a little while. Work is going to be really, really hard without amphetamines. The "slowness" and lethargy are really going to kick my ass, I can barely walk down the stairs in the morning without being out of breath unless I do some. I really wish I could get into see a doctor and get some aderall, I was on them for years. Keeping opiates and benzos in my system is my main concern for now though, I'll deal without the Tina, won't be fun, or pretty, but I'll deal.

I've known it's been coming for a while so I have been doing like 100mg,   2 maybe 3 times a day instead of quarter gram shots every couple hours.

I think I'm gonna grab a little clonazolam and some G and fucking sleep for a week. I hope it works out.  I have a few days left and think I'm going to buy another half g and try to further reduce this dosage. but kicking this stuff is immenent.

I'm not saying I'll never do it again, but in this crowd, with these prices, not like I have been doing it, it's just not possible.

I'll keep you guys updated. Time to do my night cap and stop these brain zap fucking things.

What I will miss most, sitting cracking out for 12+ hours straight fucking around with the linux terminal and writing python scripts, fuck, I really hope I still enjoy doing that after all this lol, starting to get pretty good. I met a kid a while are back who created his own 3D printer too, no fucking joke. Say some shit about ttweakers, but they sure can dedicate themselves to a project, hell, usually 17 at a time.

peace.

[Chip]

HUGE RULE - NEVER use daily.
* i call twice a week even problematic.

time to regenerate neurotransmitters ... it will take at least 6 weeks.

i'm sure you're  well over-it, anyway ... you must stop, rest, recover, rebuild life etc.

HEAPS of luck, i wish thee !!

* remember, once every 10 days you return to baseline, as far as the brain physiology is concerned. (amphet. users, take note)

[Chip]

so i got arrested for taking heaps of drugs.and i have been doing that shit for 40 years.

i lost my dignity, they stole my meth pipe which is like stealing all of your syringes.

what's my crime ? get this, right i was;

driving peacefully and carefully down the road
I have been doing it for 40 years and some filthy fuck makes a discriminatory LAW and i become the perpetrater, the bad guy !
i will lose access to my car and pay a heavy fine. I am BROKE and they (Jake, the cunt of a cop) will have BLOOD on their hands.



i used to like the police but now i wish i could kill that filthy stupid cunt.

if i get a charge then i am going to commit suicide by jumping into a moving train.

nobody tried to fix it so i am deeply upset and as usual, i do lots of work and get nothing but facing possible imprisonment is the LAST STRAW. I won'r ever help someone who doesn't deserve it.

The Mind Reading Consortium is a ugly concept because they scan my brain, decode the tiny electrical with AI etc. They are lame and they  hurt me SO much that i want to destroy them like they are doing to me.

[MoeMentim]

you got arrested?  possession charge? fuck.

[bignasty]

i used to like the police but now i wish i could kill that filthy stupid cunt.

Do you understand why I hate them so much NOW? When I used to say ^ the same type thing, you'd say it's my fault for being an asshole to the cops and if I had just been nice and respectful I wouldn't have gotten in trouble.

Yeah right, I know a guy that just lost his childhood home AND his dad got 16 staples in his head when a tree fell on their house during a storm. So my buddy was getting important stuff outta the house that night and the police came to harass him and he ended up getting arrested for possession of meth. Cops have no empathy or sympathy for anybody. They're dumb fucks who can't think outside the box or empathize with somebody going thru a hard time. Fuck 'em all IMO

[Joseph Hopeless]

^^^ Easy Chip, got BigNasty sploogin in his pants now that you see what we usually face in America constantly...But yeah, don't jump in front of a train dude, you'll have A felony, at nearly 60, worst case. Cmon man, you're more than twice my age and I'm on the edge of being a "habitual felon", like he and a lotta others here probably are. Relax, man, take a breath, it's shitty, but be glad you're not where we are(record wise and country wise), guarantee your outcome is gonna be like. A misdemeanor of some kind, some "classes" or some shit, and that'll be it. Relax man, you're good.

[MoeMentim]

are they still scanning your brain or have you come down a bit?

fucking pigs though...

[Chip]

I deny everything