i'm at the end

[LadyKalma]

Hey, i'm glad things are looking up. You've got ketamine infusions to look forward to now! Im glad you're tryna slow down on the drinking. And, it's always in retrospect when we can look back at a time when things were best and think things were perfect then. Who knows what the future holds. But your era of being in the punk scene does sound excellent.

[MoeMentim (OP)]

how much is it gonna cost you? Is he charging you full price or giving you a deal or is insurance paying most or what? I think you told me it's $300 but can't remember exactly how much you said.

$325 each time.  he doesn't take insurance & i don't have any.  the bill is going to hurt but if it works i can't afford not to. [Chip the "editor" was here ... MoeMentim, it's likely to work otherwise demand your money back][/list]

[Chip]

ignore the [/list] it's those mind-lab cunts again ! Fuck off !

[bignasty]

No shit! I'd fight the charge on my debit/credit card if the shit doesn't work for you. That's a lot of money to spend on a treatment that's not proven and not a guarantee. Rather spend my $$$ on a k trip that's supposed to work than SSRI's that definitely don't work and cause suicidality even worse and therefore, I don't see how they can even call them anti-depressants.

Speaking of which, how do they cause sexual side effects so bad? I mean I slightly understand opioids causing your dick not to work since you can't feel stuff as good but I don't understand how SSRI's make your dick literally useless. It's not a reproductive organ anymore on SSRI's, just use it to piss. It even affects females the same way! How or why does it do that for any of you chemistry experts (or just smart folks) out there?

[MoeMentim (OP)]

don't judge the overall efficacy of ssri's by your experience alone & be wary of what you read online.  yeah, a lot of people including me have had bad experiences with them.  but plenty of people have really been helped including myself. i've been through dozens of combinations, some helped a bit, some did nothing, some had side effects i couldn't live with & some made things worse, even a lot worse.  but when i find a combo that helps it's a life saver.  my biggest problem is when they do work for me, at some point they stop working.  sometimes i wonder if it's kinda a placebo effect.  like i really, really hope the new combo will work and am optomistic that it will so it does but just for a while.  who knows.

i'm a tough patient to treat/prescribe for & evaluate results because i'm constantly on & off booze & drugs.  that makes it hard to know what's what's really going on with the meds. i won't consider contesting the bill, i've never had a psych that i respected and trusted like this one and doubt i could find another one like him.  he's the only one i've felt i could be totally candid about any/everything.  i tell him when i'm back on the bottle, when i chip hard drugs and other shit i'd tell no one else.  i really lucked out with this guy.  he was a participant in the study that the book "dmt - the spirit molecule" documented for shit's sake.  most importantly he quickly zeroed in on a combo of meds that really does help me when i'm not on the bottle.  i still do go up & down, he'll change a dosage or med and 9 times out of 10 it works... for a while at least.  (again, placebo?  i try to be as objective as i can)

presently i'm on escotalipram, olanzipine and lamotragine (also the antibuse) and my pecker works just fine in case you were wondering.  the only problem it has presently is that it has no purpose in life, not unlike myself, hehe. but yeah, i've been on meds that did totally kill my libido, can't have that, even if i haven't gotten laid in years.  there's always the possibility...

[bignasty]

They didn't just kill my libido, they made it where my dick literally wouldn't get hard if I had 10 of the hottest chicks in the world butt ass naked kissing and sucking every inch of my body and each other's bodies. It just didn't move and so many girls got offended and would start crying or almost crying saying "you ain't attracted to me?" and shit like that.

I hate on SSRI's so much 'cause they're over prescribed in my opinion and they make things worse in a lot of situations, AND I was RX'd them for anxiety which was retarded 'cause I kept telling them that I really wasn't depressed and just had anxiety but they didn't believe me.