Hi again

[PoppyKat (OP)]

hi, I haven't been here much due to shyness and being paranoid of the law.In the mean time,I have been trying to figure out what to do with my life in terms of dealing with my fucked up,economically abusive husband.Plus,he lies all the time. I want to live but fear holds me back. So, the stress has been consuming me. I never wrote a real intro....sorry bout that. I live in Florida but was born and raised in NY. I get percs from my doctor....(dr.Do little). I have  chronic pain due to disks in my back,nerve damage and a gun shot wound. I have been on just about everything for pain. And subs a few times...lol. Anyhow,I love this site and I used to lurk on ophile.

[Chip]

welcome. economically abusive is a term i have not heard before.

i hate continual lies because i don't know where i stand.

don't be paranoid, we are all in this together.

glad you could make it.

[LadyKalma]

I think i understand what you mean as economically abusive. Like, if he controls all the money and you can't do anything without permission. Has your relationship always been a controlling one or has it gotten worse? Are you unable to work yourself? If so i can see why itd be terrifying to strike out on your own. Maybe he feels you growing more independent in other ways so hes trying to keep you close and under control.

Theres a book about codependentcy that i cant reccomend enough, called the language of letting go. Its like a daily meditation type thing. I didn't even know what codependent behaviour was before, but now i know, and i have it bad.

So one of my goals lately is to become my own person, make decisions for myself, get a job, etc. I know its easier to say than do, but i wish you luck and strength.