Carni advice

[Z]

That's awesome man.  It's a great feeling when people you care about step up and care about you right back.  I hope that you make it through this time and you don't need to go to the next option.

[Lolleedee]

Glad to gear you are doing well!  Just be prepared for this "pink cloud" of abstinence to go away at some point!  It is never the getting clean, it's the staying clean that gets most of us!

Just continue with what is working for you now and if you start struggling, don't beat yourself up.  Methadone will always be available if you need it.  I went on it because I was sick of struggling with not only abstinence, but with the soul crushing depression that has been with me long before I ever picked up a drug!  The constant struggle, without a moments peace, is what made me finally go on methadone.

Anywho...so happy you are doing well!  Keep us posted on your journey!

[wanderingmind]

Way to go!  It always puts good feelings into my heart when I hear someone doing well after some bad times 

If you can do it without MMT or Suboxone, keep on doing that!  I doubt there are many people out there who would say they'd prefer bupe/MMT over being totally free of everything.  Not many of us can do that, but if you can...just do that.

[Chip]

that's really impressive.

I'm now in my 4th week with no Meth and I find that it's far harder than avoiding opiates. I made a resolve to stop opiates and it's going well but I have intrusive Meth thoughts now.

wishing you strength and the best possible outcome.

[Lolleedee]

Good for you, Chipper!!  That's great!  How have you been managing the meth cravings?  What about meth do you find harder to avoid than opiates?  Is it the lift and energy that you miss?  Sorry for the questions.  I was never an upper person.  I actually do have ADHD and I have a script for dexedrine, but when I take it, it makes me so fucking tired!  When I take it, after about an hour, I have to nap!  Such an adverse reaction to an amphetamine, but for those of us scatter-brains, these meds calm us down!

[Chip]

I manage it by thinking about how lousy I will feel if I lose the sleep that I need to function at work - which will then lead to job loss.

yes, it's the lift and energy I miss.

I was diagnosed with ADHD once but it never made me tired, just quiet.

[wanderingmind]

Is it just me or is meth making a comeback?  It was really big in the 90's to early 2000's and then seemed to die away.  Now it's like it's making a comeback.

Here's a meth story; A few weeks ago, I was taking a walk by my house and had this crazy thing happen to me.  It was early evening and I was a mile or so from my house.  I'm walking on the sidewalk and I notice this guy on the other side of the street looking at me really oddly.  Right away I could tell he was tweaking hard (super jittery, looking everywhere, eyes were huge like an owl...)  He stares at me for a few seconds and then starts yelling, "I'm going to come over there and stab you!"  I yelled back, "You start walking towards me and I call the cops."  I got my phone out quick, dialed 911 and had my finger ready to tap the call button on the screen.  He screams back at me, "I'm calling the cops first!" 

I'm thinking, you're going to call the cops!!!???!  WTF is this a dream???  He's got his phone out and is talking on it.  To me, it didn't make sense for him to be calling the cops after he threatened to stab me.  So, I start to walk away while keeping him in my line of sight and my phone out.  When I get a block away or so, I start heading back to my place.  All of the sudden, a cop car comes out of fucking nowhere and two cops burst out of the car with their guns drawn   They start screaming at me to put my hands up.  I can still picture this clearly in my head today.

I comply.  They handcuff me and start searching me.  The cops immediately calm down after seeing that I have no knife and am not fucked up on anything.   I start explaining the situation...dude threatened to stab ME and that I was going to call 911 if he started across the street and then I started walking away when he didn't cross the street.  They uncuffed me, thanked me for complying and being calm. They apologized for the whole thing and even offered to give me a ride home.  I'm sure the tweaker got taken to the ER as he was obviously not in a right state of mind.  I mean, you've gotta be pretty out of it to threaten to stab someone and then call the cops and say that someone threatened to stab you???

Can anyone here that uses/used meth explain why anyone would enjoy staying up for days at a time with the end result being crazy paranoia that causes one to literally become insane???  I've never understood that.

@chipper Good job on no doing meth for a month!  I've heard from friends that meth addiction is a bitch.  I've personally never really enjoyed meth too much.  In high school I did it a handful of times.  It was fun for a few hours, but after that I just wished it would get out of my system so I could go to sleep.

[Raine]

How are you doing now, Carni?

Everything Dizzle said is spot-on.

Honestly subs and methadone are just 2 completely different ballparks imo.   Subs have some trade offs and bad side effects
that for me were small yet still not worth the good things they did for me.
The benefit did not outweigh the rest of it.
With methadone the benefits are huge but the side effects and trade offs are also much larger.
It's the only drug besides heroin that has held me totally
Kept the withdrawals at bay, got me feeling 100% well, helped with the cravings.
And the psychological shit that goes with giving up dope.
It even helped with my other psych issues
Like depression and bipolar. When I'm on methadone at a stable dose
I don't need psych meds.
 I'm not advising anyone else to give up theirs but I just noticed
I'm truly ok without them and with only methadone.

It's not a short term taper sort of thing.
It can take some time to get stable depending on the rules
Of your clinic and your personal tolerance.
Try to go with the dose you first feel comfortable at
Don't keep increasing the dose wanting to get loaded
Bc it will only make you lazier, sleepier, fatter, sweatier, etc.
It won't give you the rush that heroin gives although I'd be lying if I said it didn't have a full
Opiate pleasurable feeling. Which is why it scratched that itch for me
And kept me from using.
Also it's harder to come off than heroin imo.
The detox is longer and more intense. Just stopping without weaning all the way down would be impossible imo.
I tried it once. I walked away from the clinic at 70mg. I was using again within 4 days.
It was the worst detox symptoms I've ever had. So keep in mind that you will need to taper down when you are ready to get off it.

I did use at first BC it took me about 12 weeks to get stable on my dose.
This clinic does wafers and liquid
And they only go up to 120 on liquid before you have to get some blood tests to see
How you metabolize the drug. If it proves you do absorb faster they will go higher
And to switch to wafers you have to be testing clean first
But I needed wafers BC I swear they work better for me
And the liquid wasn't holding me so I was using still to be able to function.
Catch 22 situation.
Finally the doctor met with me and switched me to wafers on the promise that I'd stop using
And it did make the difference and I did stop.
Yet the clinic still swears liquid and wafers are of equal strength.
When I switched to the wafers, that whole week I slept for hours after dosing.
It was too much compared to my still being sick on the same dose of liquid.
But that is a debate for another time & place.

Methadone is what I needed to get enough clean time under my belt
To really start getting my life in order. I needed to break old habits and make some new ones. I had also had a lot of trauma in my last few yrs of using and I knew being clean
Was a whole battle BC it wasn't just the addiction that was causing me problems
And we all know how opiates numb you out emotionally
Even though methadone isn't nearly as bad with it as heroin was for me.
It was a literal lifesaver for me this time around
Although it's still far far from perfect.

Some people stay on methadone for life.
There's no shame in that if it works for you. I can understand the appeal of opiates for life.
Especially when you have pain issues and/or psych issues
And it's better than being on street drugs for life
Bc that's not really a life, imo. Not to do it forever.  At least with methadone you still have your time and your self. You aren't consumed with getting money and drugs all the time.
No meeting with dealers and worrying about getting arrested BC of it. Etc.

If anyone is considering it and has questions I'm always happy to try to answer
To the best of my ability.