can't believe its so hard to get on methadone

[lilbay21213 (OP)]

I have only two methadone clinics in my city and the one gave me a run around for 2 weeks telling me at the end their medical director believes i should be inpatient Mind you i battle back issues so i am always going to be on a opiate so why put me in detox take me off only to have me come back needing help from the same drug Minus the heroin
She seems to believe its not healthy for me So hmm shooting heroin is better for me ok

Yes i left the heroin get a hold of me again by I know i do Well on methadone been on it several times with success in past but this woman who knows nothing about me now thinks i should be inpatient
I just want to Stop running into Baltimore and buying dope.

I have to wonder i it age i am in my 50's but i know many on methadone older then me
Help i just want off this Merry go Round

Bay

[Thoms]

Is there maybe some way to bullshit them and say you've been in treatment. Perhaps been on methadone before?

[lilbay21213 (OP)]

I have been on methadone before and i explained that and my medical doctor stated she recommended it but this one quack basically just strung m along for two weeks to cancel last minute. I am attempting to get back into the one i was on before and was there almost 10 years so like i said i do well on it but i was taken off when i went to pain management cause the doctor decided he wanted to operate and i refused he got rude and so i started doing dope more and more cause his meds were not helping
The one doctor at the clinic i am trying now wants a discharge letter from my pain doctor BUT he will not guarantee he will put me on the clinic so i would be cutting off my nose to spite my face i don't want to say i will not be back and then they decide we are not medicating her and i would be screwed all the way around
What happened to going to your appointments and being on in a couple days like it used to be
I do not think that they get there are older people trying to get off this crap and need methadone UGH

[nikita70]

UGH, exactly, this is the same arrogant mentality I "owe" that I left high and dry to, after 15 years of being some faultless methadone patient.

Once I have positive tested for benzos and avowed that I'm strung on them indeed, this fucking shrink refused (limited) my 2 weeks long take-homes, which I enjoyed since forever, made my life in clinic unbearable and started to harass me insisting strongly that I seek the treatment (detox).

As I denied telling him I can't see any good reason to get off, since I don't abuse them, what I'm able to prove fairy easy, he cancelled my take homes completely and started to constrain me to go to this detox, threating that if I won't be along with his wish and "cooperate", he's going just to take me off the clinic.

I was like "what's the problem is like, doc? You considered benzos to be the lesser evil and relatively harmless stuff and kept stuck to this attitude long enough some people got strung out on them right in this clinic and built up a decent sized habit, you didn't fight them, you did connive, turned a blind eye and let patients do them or even have them PRESCRIBED here in the same outpatient for years, so what has changed so suddenly and so thoroughly, for fucks sake?
How could you even dare to put on me or anybody else for it and tell something is wrong with us, as nothing has changed and I didn't do anything I wouldn't have done before?
Do you really expect me seeking this ridiculous "treatment" as I'm in the middst of my 40s with the double-headed monkey on my back, I'm seriously fed out of this permanent lack of safety, all I expect is you get me my daily dose without any pointless craps and let me watch this place as unfrequently/rare as it only possible."
     
He didn't even try to pretend he's kind and careful doctor who does really concern about his patients, hence the point etc., etc,, he even went so far that he told me arrogantly it's "my CHOICE" so if I'm going to continue using my benzos this is none of his business anymore and I just will be removed.
Nonchallantly talking about "free choice" as it comes to the terms of addiction, being or not being sick etc., etc. is not only extremely arrogant and tactless, it's cruel and cynical. 

I wonder what they fucking think they gain as they are able to nullify/thwart ones whole entire life, just like this?

Cons/negatives-losing my methadone years long "background", losing my sense of security, forced incrimination and debilitating paranoia/fear, going through a month long tiresome, painful induction for a bupe completely in vain, ALMOST (barely to avoid) get addicted to another type of benzo and to make matters worse-to barbiturates...

Pros-so far non reported

Sorry for derailing your thread, just wanted to let you know you're not isolated in this crap.
Keep my fingers crossed for your struggle.   



   
   

[Lolleedee]

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time!  Did you mention to the intake people that you have pain management issues?  Usually when you disclose a history more "complicated" then "hey, I'm a dope addict", they tend to recommend a higher level of care.  If you even mention that you will "always need opiates for chronic pain" they will show you the door faster than your can even imagine.

I have found that when getting on methadone, it is best to disclose as little as possible.  A simple "I have a huge dope habit and I want to quit" is basically all you need to tell them.  The more you disclose, the more they are going to push you to a "higher level of care."  I know in my clinic, if you even mention that you need pain management, the will not admit you,

Can you call the other clinic and maybe just give them the basic "Hooked on dope, need help" line?

I think it sucks that people have to be dishonest to access treatment, but unfortunately it is the world we live in.  I hope that will change at some point.

[nikita70]

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time!  Did you mention to the intake people that you have pain management issues?  Usually when you disclose a history more "complicated" then "hey, I'm a dope addict", they tend to recommend a higher level of care.  If you even mention that you will "always need opiates for chronic pain" they will show you the door faster than your can even imagine.

I have found that when getting on methadone, it is best to disclose as little as possible. A simple "I have a huge dope habit and I want to quit" is basically all you need to tell them.  The more you disclose, the more they are going to push you to a "higher level of care."  I know in my clinic, if you even mention that you need pain management, the will not admit you,

Can you call the other clinic and maybe just give them the basic "Hooked on dope, need help" line?

I think it sucks that people have to be dishonest to access treatment, but unfortunately it is the world we live in.  I hope that will change at some point.

@Lolleedee , this is one of the wisest and most reasonable advices ever that could be given related to this issue, seriously.
I think I know exactly what your point is.

As I have read this thread, I thought spontanously, that he needs talk to the doctor completely honestly and enter his/her in as many details of his pain management treatment as possible, since I'm still finding myself to assign the other people my own mindframe/point of view.

Hell, even trying to put oneself into "their" shoes and imitate/follow their perverted logic doesn't warrant any successfull outcome.

I have silly concluded that since dope is considered as some doomed thing and "recreational" using as some lawlessness, reprehensible indulgence and debouchery that deserves all misery of the world-then maybe portraying yourself as a poor victim of pain and undeserved, involuntary user of those "damned substances" might help to gain a little more compassion. And it apparently does, but the way this compassion appears is somehow "amiss", misconceived.
You have to admit that you hit the point of no return and there's nothing to save left before you ask them help you, unless they're going to save your ass, even in spite of all, if needed.

By the other hand, God forbid to disclose your status of a "strung out one individual" as you want the doc to prescribe you something, what is kinda inherent contradicted since it practically means that they're ready to help you only if there's not any urgent need to help.

"Doc, I hardly can sleep last nights, do you mind me asking you prescribe me something so I be able to get some rest? I'd suggest Clonazepam, I'm responding pretty well for this med, as far i remember."
(the doc looks carefully at you)
"Did you say Clonazepam? How often do you gather it? You are ADDICTED to it, aren't  you?"
"Addicted, what do you mean saying "addicted"? Well, I could only guess what are you talking about, and assure you this is not this case. I remember using it just few times before to beat insomnia I occasionally suffer from, and that's all about it."
"Ok, I trust you and I think I can help you this way, but keep in mind it wouldn't be working to you if you were addicted, by no means."     
   
I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea you have to lie to the doctor as for the matters of your health (both, physical and psychical) to get the proper treatment.
This useless honesty in contact with doctors is somehow etched in my brain, and it made me fuck up things many times, since I permanently forget they aren't there to please me or at least make my life comfortable-they're just obsessed. One should be rather watching his/her mouth as talking to the docs.

If you tell them you are doing well-it makes them think about cut you off or at least taper your dose ('cos you're a "promising patient").
If you start complaining-they are probably going to compel you to join some pointless therapy, and your dose will remain the same, anyway.
It seems, there're not right  answers in this game.
 
Even if some say, that we need listen to and follow our so called "first thought", since it is usually the voice of some higher self or so, methadone/addiction terms are definitely not this case. This is so sad but true.   

[lilbay21213 (OP)]

Actually the old Methadone clinic as there are only 2 I tried one they I discovered do not want to admit me cause she was looking at old diabetes Numbers had she actually SEEN me i could have explained that
Second place i am still waiting to hear from the doctor he actually released me from this methadone program to go to Pain management So he knows i deal with pain but as i stated to him and clinical supervisor i am no longer taking pain meds as i am shooting dope every day and i am too damn old to be battling this habit not to mention broke as hell and no longer up to my old hustle so i am fast becoming BROKE and at a gram every couple days and that is me controlling as best i can to make it last as long as i can I had bought some methadone in street last week and that held me several days but that shit where i live is also hard to come by and well i am sick and tired of being sick and tired as the saying goes

Thank you for giving me replies sorry i started another thread can a mod please delete it it is in Methadone  under opiates
THANKS Lolleedee i forgot all about this post i could not remember where in heck i posted it and thought it got deleted or something

[Lolleedee]

Why on God's green earth would she care what your diabetes numbers are?  Methadone is not a contrindicated medication in diabetics.  I guess they may be concerned about the sugar in the liquid if that is the type they have. (My clinic uses methadone without sugar..or flavor or color)  But, seriously, if it made that much of a difference, you could always adjust your diabetes medication.

Are you still in pain management, or have you already left?  Does your pain management doctor know about the dope?

It sucks that people with chronic pain can not be on methadone for maintenance and craving control and then be prescibed something for pain!  One can wish such a world could exist!
Is there any way you could just go to the clinic and bypass the woman who went all ape-shit over antiquated diabetic numbers?  It might be time to just show up and start demanding treatment.  What bullshit!  Sorry you are having a hard time!

[onewayonly]

I guess I got lucky and called said I was bad off and got in quick. But trust me anyone could see I needed help.
My problem is they will not give out take homes cause I smoke weed. I can't take warm pee everyday even if I could get a methadone positive clean sample.
Does anyone have an idea if they will kick me off if I don't quit smoking. Been at the clinic 100 days and only weed positive urine nothing else. Any help would be nice.
Trust me I know I got lucky my clinic was so nice and I really like them but shit I pay 16 a day for that treatment. Its a CMG clinic if anyone is the same

[Effect]

I absolutely second the point that was mentioned regarding the fact that your best bet for a speedy introduction onto stability at the methadone clinic is to keep any details of your life that would make you seem like an outlier (and to the clinic, a potential liability) to yourself.

As much as that sucks, especially regarding health care with something as individualized as addiction treatment, but if you know generally how your body responds to MMT, then your best best is to sound as typical as possible. Obviously do your research before making a long term commitment related to healthcare

I know this from experience as my first attempt at getting methadone treatment when I disclosed that I have had infective endocarditis that left me with a heart murmur. My intake to first dose time was delayed by over a month and I was started at 15mg and was raised very slowly which was fine due to the fact that I didn't want to raise my dose any higher than necessary. Fortunately the clinic I'm on now had a same day walk in dose two times a month and it was relatively easy to do.

[lilbay21213 (OP)]

Lolleedee I am unsure what her issue was and the big kicker she was looking at papers from LAST JULY I have been on new meds for over a month now ans my sugar is doing great
As far as sharing they wanted medical records so i signed release i never got to say hi bye kiss my rear nothing to this doctor at first clinic
I am still waiting on second one and I tried to get transit (i ride bus for disabled as i can't do normal bus routes
But they will not approve me Until she speaks to them and finds out whats going on well she states she can't do that till Thursday

I a really FED up
I am sitting around depressed crying stressing Constantly borrowing money from my adult child which i hate cause it is NOT his place to cover this It is mine but he states he knows i am trying


I am still in pain management No they do not know about dope they have been contacted for methadone clinics but i mentioned i wanted back on methadone cause the things they are giving me do not help Which they do not
And that the doctor stated if i did not like it go elsewhere.

I am to go back to pain doc on 17th but I cant keep doing dope till then
I am must so fed up i am up each morning calling and trying to get in but i am still put on hold
 I just dont know what to do it is not like i aint trying but this doc demands he speak to pain doc ho has yet to return his or my calls

Bay

[bignasty]

My problem is they will not give out take homes cause I smoke weed. I can't take warm pee everyday even if I could get a methadone positive clean sample.
Does anyone have an idea if they will kick me off if I don't quit smoking. Been at the clinic 100 days and only weed positive urine nothing else. Any help would be nice.

It is retarded that you can get take homes if you drink alcohol (which is dangerous on 'done) but can't get take homes if you smoke bud (which isn't dangerous on 'done).
Also, I've never heard of a clinic kicking anyone out for only smoking pot and I live in the south. I failed every UA I had for about two years at my last clinic and eventually got kicked out but not for the pot. They really didn't care but they wouldn't give me a take home 'cause "it's state law". In Mississippi which everyone thinks of as backwards, they don't even test for pot unless you miss 2 or more days at the clinic. I miss that clinic in MS. They didn't test for weed, didn't run a RX monitoring report on anybody, didn't have to bring in your benzo or ADD scripts every month, they'd let you go as high as you wanted without a peak and trough, etc...

[lilbay21213 (OP)]

Great News Just got a call from Counselor (whom i freeking ADORE) She said they are accepting me I see her tomorrow then meet with Doctor she said she thinks he will medicate me then and there I Pray so cause i am fast becoming BROKE

So Prayers and well wishes are welcome i am so relieved the constant depression is lightened finally

[Z]

Glad to hear it worked out for you.

[Lolleedee]

Yay Bay!!!!!  So glad to here that not only will the see you immediately but they will medicated you immediately!  Stability is on the way!!!!!  Hang in there!  I know there are people out there who detest methadone, but it has been a life-saver and a god send for not only me, but everyone in my life who has to deal with me!!!

Drop back in after you go and let us know how everything workded out!