How low do I go?

[Objection (OP)]

So I had a stroke in 2015 and got put on hospice because apparently I'm going to die. It's opiate heaven, they'll prescribe anything. They started me off on 90mg methadone daily, with 30mg morphine every 2 hours for breakthrough pain every 2 hours. I figure if I'm going to die anyways, and have an open pharmacy anyways, might as well enjoy it.

At 90mg methadone, I didn't feel the morphine, even 15 tablets at a time. So I've cut back my methadone, to 30mg a day. But took 30 tablets of morphine (900mg) at 10 tablets an hour (take 300mg, wait an hour, take 300mg more) and still felt nothing. Been on the 30mg of methadone for 4 days.

Do I need longer on the low dosage of methadone because of it's half life? Do I need to go lower on the methadone? Is my tolerance just shot? Scared to go higher on morphine, even if my tolerance is high eventually it's gonna mess with my breathing.

Lol....quantity is not an object, they send 180 pills at a time. If I was a dealer I'd be rich. Just looking for advice on dosage. I'm going to die any day anyways, might as well enjoy the time I have left.

Thanks!!

[Snoop]

Haven't posted for quite awhile
But running past this post. I can sympathize. I'm on 95mg 'Done (prescribed @ clinic) and also receive #90 oxyIR 15mg & #60 30mg MScontin, recently upped from 15mg x's 2 daily to 30mg x's 2 daily for neuropathy/sciatica/rheumatoid arthritis/herniated disks.... these I receive from my pain mgmt doc.

My doc knows I'm on Methadone for maintenance. But I explained that it's nearly impossible to control my pain using only methadone, and especially dosing once daily.

But. Thing is, even after putting myself on 45mg.... even after months. I don't feel anything from my additional pain meds. Zilch.

But my pain is very much under control.

Guess that's not all that bad. But I do miss the glow from time to time.

IMO, you gotta be beneath <30mg. Hell, even 20-15mg.

Shits potent. And it's mechanism of action is totally variable from patient to patient, and dose conversion is near impossible to pin point.

Godspeed... and may the force be with you.

[CARNi]

@Objection - I have to say, what came across to me as a general good mood type of post after explaining your situation really lifted my spirits. I mean honestly, you made me forget for awhile what I'd otherwise consider hard,trivial moments in my life's journey. For that I do thank you. Also, I really mean this, I will be pulling for you to somehow pull through. At the very least I hope you are able to transition to the next phase of this journey quite peacefully, with the same attitude you are seeking to attack here and now with!!!  Godspeed my friend!

Wish I was able to answer your immediate question , sorry...

[dizzle]

IV the morphine. Or get on injectable hydromorphone or oxymorphone (diluadid or opana) and IV that, I PROMISE you'll feel it.

Or good olde heroin. Yep, heroin. It'll rock ur world....

[Chip]

...or drop the Methadone altogether and wait a couple of weeks.

At those other high opiate dosages, you won't be needing it but you'll have to dose frequently.

[Objection (OP)]

Forgot to say... IVing is a no go. Part of my syndrome is blood flow issues, clotting problems. When I go to the hospital, they have to use an ultrasound just to find a place to get in an IV. I just recently had surgery, and it took them 15 pokes to find a vein.

And after surgery they were giving me 2mg dilauded shots, maxed out the amount they could legally give me (something like 10mg in 4 hours) and I didn't feel any of it.

As for H...I wish. But there is no scene in Boise. Plus, I was deaf before the stroke, now I can't walk. A deaf, wheelchair bound female trying to find the scene in small town USA?

But there is the dark web.... Not worried about getting caught. I'm going to die soon, they going to put me in jail?

[Chip]

Are you prescribed any benzos ?

Used sparingly, they could help with you physically and psychologically.

Normally I wouldn't recommend such a combination but maybe a little Diazepam or Alprazolam could help you. If they monitor you carefully then it may be safe.

[Objection (OP)]

I have a shitton of lorazapam. Are they safe to mix?

Not that I'm overwhelmed with the thought of dieing.

[Chip]

I really can't advise you, mixing the two has made me OD before. Narcaned, type.

You'd have to wait until the Morphine clears in about 12 hours to be safer.

Find a buddy to watch you, I know that you will get more stoned on that combo.

You don't want to go out before your time. Yeah, find a sitter please.

BTW, you hit morphine's ceiling for euphoria at around 240 mg so anything on top of that just effects your respiration.

[Bodytec]

 Wow that is a lot of morphine. I would say you would need to get off methadone completely. And after cold turkey about five days you would be able to feel some euphoria from the morphine. I quit methadone cold turkey at 180 mg. And my tolerance was really high for a while. I could not feel euphoria from anything much except OxyM and HydroM. There is no question in my opinion in your case I would stop the methadone, continue to receive them,yes, and maybe make a few bucks.  With the other things at your disposal you should be fine. And happier.

[Objection (OP)]

So if I'm hearing this right (HA! Hearing).... Just stop the methadone and take the morphine? Will I experience any withdrawals? Hospice just sent another 90 morphine pills, so I've got like 120, 30mg tablets. Plus another 50 or so 8mg dilaudid pills, so I'm not worried about having to much.

Also, how about IM? The morphine? Is it effective and what dosage do you recommend I start at. Can't find a vein, but give myself blood thinking shots 3x a day in the belly.

[wanderingmind]

Used sparingly

Ha!  Reminds me of what my crazy doctor used to write on my benzo prescriptions.  He knew I was on 135 mg's of methadone and prescribed me 90 2mg xanax's a month.  He always wrote on the script, "Use sparingly."  It always gave me a chuckle.  Like, "use sparingly," but here's the max amount of one of the most potent benzo's out there AND it's ok you're on the 'done  

As for the OP discussing mixing benzo's and opioids...be careful!  As others have said, it can easily cause an OD.  I've had 8 or 9 serious OD's when I mixed a benzo and an opioid.  Most of those were IV heroin.  One of them was from WAYYYY too much methadone plus benzo's after three weeks in jail.  That one caused me to go into a coma.  I woke up to find an endoscope being shoved down my throat three days after I'd OD'ed.  Apparently, I'd vomited a reddish liquid.

Combining benzo's and methadone were my favorite way to use.  You just get so insanely fucked up.  But, it is super easy to push the limit.  Too many benzo's = black out and too much opioid = death.  You really have to toe the line.

[Z]

I would look into some of the homebake recipes for turning morphine to heroin.  I can guarantee that you would be happy with that.  I used to love morphine, but as my tolerance rose it seemed to give less and less of a kick. 


Be careful with mixing methadone, morphine and benzos.

Also, how about IM? The morphine? Is it effective and what dosage do you recommend I start at. Can't find a vein, but give myself blood thinking shots 3x a day in the belly.

You need to be really careful with IM and pills.  They contain a lot of binders and fillers that are not something you want just sitting in your muscles.  They will likely get infected and potentially cause an abscess.  I'm sure it could be less bad if you were very careful with filtering with something appropriate like a wheel filter or proper filter media.  In general you shouldn't inject something subQ or IM unless it is made for injection.  If you are aware of the risks and have taken precautions then it's obviously your choice, but please look into it first.


The belly isn't really a good place for an IM shot.  If you want information on good spots just ask.

[Roman Totale]

Is plugging an option, logistically?  That might be a good ROA for the morphine.

[Esoteric Anhydride]

I would look into some of the homebake recipes for turning morphine to heroin.

lol, like right there in the hospice room, or maybe in the bathroom with a toaster oven? Some bicarb and some vinegar.

I've pulled off two cooks using a lighter only and just guessing at heat, they were both burnt, but it worked. I can't really recommend it tho.

Somehow I suspect the stench of AA, plus all the other shit you need to pull off an HB cook, might be problematic in hospice.. But just a guess..

I'm terribly sorry over your circumstances. If it was me, I'd claim constipation or something and drop the methadone (unless you're taking lots of benzos) - the shit is just so strong and long-acting that your brain adjusts to the steady blood levels and it's really tough to cop a nod. When I was at 110, I'd take 2mg xanax over a half g of good dope anyday; that combo is bliss for me, but my tolerance was very high..

I wish you the best of comfort, If I was closer to Boise I'd see what I could do to help you out..