Need guidance bad, please help me on benzo detox/taper (valium)

[Fluffhead (OP)]

Hey all, please read this I'm sorry it's long & I'll try to only include needed info. I had been prescribed 20 mg of valium a day for years. So 60 blues a month with my sub. Anyway, one of many crazy things I'm dealing with right now is being booted from my doc.

Honestly until an accident recently I never took them regularly and was very careful to spread it out & never had a problem. I would regularly go weeks Without taking them with no signs or problems. I tell you this so you know how fresh this newly acquired problem has developed.

Over the last month, I had a serious accident. Hospital, surgeries etc. Well, I've been struggling to supplement the meds given due to the accident. They know my history & all the details. I had rods sticking through bones, holding them in place & I left with a perc script. So I had to do what I had to do to survive that and the valium got involved.

I am at the beginning of a 4-5 month recovery and just 2 weeks out from the  final surgery. I am starting to already see/feel some improvements with pain & even including the relationship with these doctors. So I decide I need to nip the benzo thing in the butt asap before it's a problem. Some days in the last month; I ate as many as 60-80 mg of valium & maybe even a xanax, other days maybe just 10-20 mg of valium. Point is, sporadic amounts but on a consistent basis.

Now I'm ready to try to turn my life around  and (tonight) my 3rd night of no valium, my body does a little jerk everytime I started to drift off to sleep. I did not want to give in but I don't know shit about benzo's & in all honesty I got scared. So I took a little piece/waited- repeat. At 15 mg I feel ready to sleep but I'm typing this instead. I need help only you guys can provide. I need as much info as you are kind enough to share/suggest for an at home taper & any other info you think is relevant. Please explain it to me like a noob because I am with benzos. How deep am I in? Does it even matter? Plz tell me what I'm looking at & how to safely escape. 

The supplies I will have for this are about 30 5mg yellow valiums. About 12 blues & I get one last refill of 60 blues in about 2 weeks. Also the occasional blue xanax. But those are usually only about 5 every couple weeks.  Thank you for reading this & I think I'm gonna crash now. Please don't be shy. I'm looking forward to reading some hope. Thanks you guys!

[Fluffhead (OP)]

One last thought. My inner circle is all on subs and we all had similar small body shocks when falling asleep. I have now been off subs for about a month while being on a combo of other opiates. Any chance this is related to it completely coming out of my body? Just wondering since I'm changing that at the same time is there any chance it's a combo or subs..fuck..Sorry guys, I'm fucking scared now. Like life couldn't get any worse

[Fentfiend420]

Just cut back to 20 or 30mg. Get comfortable. Then hit 20mg and split dose it. Then jump to 10mg get comfortable and so on. You shouldn't have a problem. Valium has a good half life so slow and steady wins the race. It's a lot of self control as well. When you refill,k eep tabs on it. Be consistent with your doses as well. You should be good man. You can do it! Just take your time. Hopefully you dr. Will hook you up with a 90 day supply at least..

[Esoteric Anhydride]

I doubt you have much to worry about.

Save the stash of 5mg as best you can..

[Mr.pooper]

Got a buddy who just wrecked two cars in a week. He's on 96mg of methadone and was popping 10 Xanax bars a day. Benzos For roughly 6 months. His ass is cold turkey detoxing both this month at some center in LA.

I've seen people create more life changingly bad decisions on benzos, than any other drug. I think it's awesome you've identified them as being a problem, and want to cut them out. Best of luck.

 Some things that I've read that help benzo withdrawal are valerian root, kava kava, and gabapentin. All of which have GABA activity, similar as benzos.

[Fluffhead (OP)]

They have me on a fent patch atm. I had been drinking tea as well over the last week or so to supplement. After I typed that last night, I continued to have weird little body shocks even after taking the valium. I felt my self calm down and thought I would be able to sleep but it never came.

I haven't been eating right & little movememt due to the accident. Finally this afternoon today, I got help making a little more tea and eventually even with some continued shocks I fell asleep for a few hours. My chick is wondering if there's anything else that could be the cause like poor nutrition lately, exhaustion from not being able to sleep due to pain etc. Or any of the opies.

I am gonna try to step back from the seeds asap so they don't become a problem woth all the extra stuff in their. but I don't think this caused it cause it's been only a week maybe closer to 2 & I am not out of them. So they would have to be causing it not the lack of.

Just getting ready to try to go to sleep & getting this really nervous feeling again. Worrying about everything & if I have really screwed myself beyond fixing. I guess one of my last questions is if you guys read all this and still think its benzos. Remember I stopped for 2-3 days & then had the shocks. I don't know shit about benzos. My first thinking was okay, I took some last night, I will take more again before 2-3 days from now. Or is it more like, it took awhile for the last month to catch up with me & I still need a little each day now?

Thanks again for any replies. Please do include a taper schedule if you don't mind. Sorry been partying since like 12 & opiates most of my adult life. Benzos are on of the few things that I never really fucked with & so part of the fear is how little I know. Of what to expect, how to taper etc. Man it's worrying me. - 

[Chip]

I went to a Methadone clinic to taper me off Valium.

It was dispensed along with my Methadone so you may find something suitable to taper you off.

I can't believe that you lost your doctor and have been thrown to the wolves.

I guess I'm trying to say that there is help out there if you do your research and get lucky.

☆☆☆ @Fluffhead, do yourself a favor and check out: http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzsched.htm

[smalls]

I'm no benzo expert but it sounds like you're experiencing hypnic jerks, likely caused by all the stress/anxiety from your accident and surgeries. When you take your valium, it helps to stop the hypnic jerk because they're caused by stress/anxiety not the lack of valium in your system.
That's just my opinion. I've never been dependant on benzo. But I have experienced "shocks" while falling asleep, usually due to stress or irregular sleep/exhaustion.

[nick]

The link that Chipper thoughtfully posted is to the Ashton method of benzo wd which is the gold standard.So,READ it.
Much luck with it.kicking Benzos is pretty unpleasant,but it's do-able.

[Dickwhistle]

Google the ASHTON manual and read it and it tells you how to taper safely.

[DeadCat]

If you are building a decent relatinship with the new (?) doctors maybe just candidily telling them you have been taking valium for a long time and you want to quit but know it can be risky can they help manage a medically supervised (as in smaller, constantly shrinking doe size, not an in-patient detox) I would think they would almost be obligated to help.

Having a long -term perscription that unexpectedly got the better of you is not an uncommon problem with benzos and they are more able to taper you down to nothing safely than any "DIY" because if you tell them and they give you the bullshit judgemental treatment "street drug"users get their asses are exposed to malpractice. That and if they are halfway compassionate human beings who chose to be caregivers it is completely within their power and professional ability to help you through it. You are asking for LESS not MORE and help for crissakes.

Good luck whichever route you choose.

[Chip]

DeadCat is right and i recently did just this exact thing with my friend; i said:

my buddy is now addicted to Clonazepam, please script her ever decreasing doses so she can get off it

and they did but my friend wasn't for real and died before she went back for more scripts. I think any half-decent doctor would be more than willing to help IF you are genuinely sincere, as you are.

i reckon many doctors don't really see benzo addiction for the BIG and scary thing it really is or much like Opiate addiction.

definitely worth a try or two !