Is your doctor a moron?

[Griffin]

Have you guys made a decision that you immediately regretted after but too late to change it? That was me today, when i told my doctor I was getting back on MMT. He told me I can now only have one of my benzo scripts since I'm on methadone again. Even though I was getting both benzo scripts for the past 3 years the whole time I have been on MMT.

This is the same doctor that wouldn't prescribe me testosterone unless I quit methadone. He said that after i have been off done for 3 months and if my test levels are still low that he would consider putting me on testosterone and medicaid would cover it, so it'd cost $1 per month instead of $160/month. So I told him I quit when he said that to see if he would put me on it after 3 months of low levels after I have been off methadone for 2 month. And that after 2-6 months of being completely off methadone and if my levels are low still at that point then he'd prescribe the testosterone for me.

So I lied and told that doctor I got off of methadone when he told me that he won't prescribe me testosterone until I had been 2-6 months off MMT with low levels then. Even though I hadn't actually quit.

Then of course since my counselor quit and my new counselor is the dickhead clinic coordinator who is huge prick, had to re-fax all my paper work telling him I was on it even though my last counselor already did that a few months ago but my new counselor couldn't find that paper work showing it'd already been done so he faxed the doc telling him I was on methadone today before my appointment. So I told him I got back on it, since he had got the fax telling him I was back on done.

So the benzo doctor said okay well I am taking one of your benzos scripts away since your back on methadone which one do you want 1mg ativan or 0.25mg xanax. Without thinking about it I choose xanax thinking it's a better rush not thinking that the ativan would of given me 4x as many doses than the xanax since they were scripts for 30. I chose getting .25 xanax over 1 mg ativan cause I figured I'd get a better high with the xanax.

After I decided and told him because it was an on the spot question that needed an immediate answer, I realized that I have been taking 5mgs of ativan for 4mgs of xanax, so instead of getting 30 1 mg of ativan I choose 30 0.25mg xanax, meaning I could of got 6 doses of the ativan instead i chose 2 doses of xanax,

Then after that the doc decided to change it to 60 instead of 30 so instead of getting 12 doses of ativan I got a bit less than 4 doses of xanax.... It was an on the spot question and my train of thought was I get a tiny rush with the xanax so thats why I said that and instantly regretted after saying that cause I could of gotten high 8 more times if I wasn't an idiot hopefully he lets me switch to ativan and keep getting 60 a month.

Hopefully he lets me keep 60 next month and that he lets me switch to ativan, anything else I should shoot for what would be the best bang for the bakc 60 mgs of ativan, 60 .25 xanax, or try for somthing else. I feel like I def should of picked xanax but would like some imput cause i feel like i just jipped myself out of 8.5 doses. which is kind of breaking my heart.

[Catsfordrugs]

Griffin- in response to your question about which benzo to choose, I would have gone with the Ativan/lorazepam. I personally find the feeling of the two to be similar enough that the considerable amount more Ativan would have made that an easy choice. But that's just me. Personal preference comes into play. Some people notice a significant difference. I feel like they are both fairly quick acting benzos with a relatively short half life.

It's been a while since I've taken any of either, and my benzo conversion table is a little rusty. Iirc, they felt pretty equal, to me, mg for mg. Maybe the alpraz is a little stronger, but I think a full mg of Ativan would affect me more than a quarter mg of Xanax. If you need the silver lining, though, at least you have either and a doc writing for them, at that. Like I said, personal preference comes into play, but I would have gone with the Ativan. At least he didn't cut you off completely. Ironic, though, that he's the doc and didn't have any suggestions or recommendations on the matter. You'd think he would've had some input. Maybe he'll let you switch next time.

[Dopeless Hopefiend]

Griffin I would've taken the ativan for sure. That's what I'm prescribed 1mg a day. Imo, mg for mg xanax is definitely stronger but at 4x the dose the ativan would be way better. I used to take klonopin, but switched to the ativan years ago because the k-pins were too long acting. I actually prefer the shorter acting benzos.

[Griffin]

I just hpe he gives me the ativan next month. Anyone have any info on insulin. since i started testosterone 4 weeks ago my t levels have quadrupled and i gain 10 pounds in one week. Since starting the T I have had a HUGE appetite i am not a big meat eater probably 5-10 a year but since getting on it all i want is steak, cheeseburgers, sausage, bacon, turkey, all sandwiches on top of everything else i can pile in my mount i have cut down sweets a bit but i want to eat 24/7 never full always hungry and i have been eating like a madman since i started.

any help with that i was thinking about trying insulin and caffeine to help with the increased appetite but i want to try some supplements to stop the weight gain like anything that will make me not hungry ever. I HATE BEING FAT!!!! i am trying to work out more but its been a slow start, i need exercise and workout daily but cant i am still laying in bed


I got my testosterone blood tests back and when i started 4 weeks ago my levels were 350 for testosterone and 4.5 for free testosterone, well now my levels are 1260 for test and 36 for free testosterone. my doc said to cut my dose to 150mg injected  once a week so i am hopoing that helps is there any benefits to high levels of test like i have now, and what should they be. how can i stop this insane appetite for eating food 24/7 and wanting to eat meat and having the throughts of slaughtering a coW AND EATING IT RAW

[Griffin]

I just hpe he gives me the ativan next month. Anyone have any info on insulin. since i started testosterone 4 weeks ago my t levels have quadrupled and i gain 10 pounds in one week. Since starting the T I have had a HUGE appetite i am not a big meat eater probably 5-10 a year but since getting on it all i want is steak, cheeseburgers, sausage, bacon, turkey, all sandwiches on top of everything else i can pile in my mount i have cut down sweets a bit but i want to eat 24/7 never full always hungry and i have been eating like a madman since i started.

any help with that i was thinking about trying insulin and caffeine to help with the increased appetite but i want to try some supplements to stop the weight gain like anything that will make me not hungry ever. I HATE BEING FAT!!!! i am trying to work out more but its been a slow start, i need exercise and workout daily but cant i am still laying in bed


I got my testosterone blood tests back and when i started 4 weeks ago my levels were 350 for testosterone and 4.5 for free testosterone, well now my levels are 1260 for test and 36 for free testosterone. my doc said to cut my dose to 150mg injected  once a week so i am hopoing that helps is there any benefits to high levels of test like i have now, and what should they be. how can i stop this insane appetite for eating food 24/7 and wanting to eat meat and having the throughts of slaughtering a coW AND EATING IT RAW alll i want is food.

I HAVE TOO LOSE WEIGHT 40 pounds i have to lose before i dont hate myself, and i just want to find something to give m eenergy and take away this raging appetite for all food. i have thought about using caffeine all day, and then maybe trying insulin. anyone have any tips on how to lose weight the wrong way? dieting isn't working cause i just end up eating 3x as much diet food then topping it up with a double bacon whopper and fries and ice cream, and rice krispies, my appetite is never filled i hate it, i wont to lose this but have no will power. I am going to start forcing myself but without benzos i am a pussy and have zero self esterrm and drive and hate myself and sleep 18 hours a day when i ahve my 2 days of benzos i get back to what i want and then ithey are gone and then i eat more to cover what i am issing from the benzos please help i ahte this and my life right now, is lipposuction an electable surgery cus i will do it if i can find a way to afford it.

any help PLEASE!

[candy]

Griffin. I actually do know about insulin and it is not something you want to fool around with to lose weight.
In fact, unless you are a diabetic and being supervised and seen by a doctor, you shouldn't even consider insulin as a weight loss supplement.
It is not a drug you want to just use to lose weight. It can be dangerous and even fatal if not used correctly.

Are you just asking because you are worried about gaining weight or do you have diabetes?
Please don't even consider using insulin to lose weight, no matter what other advice you get. The only advice on insulin should be given to you by a physician/nurse.

There are other ways to lose weight and know that it is going to take some time for your body to get used to the change in testosterone levels.
My son is on testosterone and his appetite increased as well. I am now giving him the test. injection every 3 weeks and it has helped quite a bit in decreasing his appetite. Maybe something to discuss with your doctor. Is this your primary care doctor prescribing the testosterone? Just curious.
 Maybe we can discuss some healthier ways for you to lose weight if you would like, but get the whole idea of insulin out of your head.

Are you getting any exercise? Replacing healthier options when you feel the need to eat is an option. I know not the same, but it can help.
I had my son drinking water instead of eating when he felt hungry and this was even after a big meal. It seems to be working much better.
Having healthier snacks ready to go when the drive to eat hits you. Fruit, vegetables, hummus, pickles, nuts, lean deli meats.
Smoothies, replacing high calorie/high fat foods with lower calorie/low fat options is a good way to go as well.
Try to avoid eating late at night.
Soups are a great option too. Not heavy cream based soups, but something like chicken noodle, lentil, even split pea can be really filling and satisfying.
I make a black bean soup that is load with some vegetables and it is not very high in calories, full of flavor, and really filling. Just even a small bowl at night when hunger strikes can be really satisfying and it is great fiber too. I can give you the recipe if interested. Easy to make too.

I can't think of much more right now, but I would be happy to talk more about this with you. I know putting on weight can be hard and fucks with the self esteem. Just know that you can get it off with some work and just by changing some habits.

Just please promise me you will forget insulin as an option! 

[Guts]

Griffin, if you really wanna lose weight the easy way, go up on the testosterone. 600 mgs of testosterone a week is scientifically proven to make you gain more muscle sitting around doing nothing than someone working out in the gym with no testosterone boost. Make sure to get some aromatase inhibitors though!

Shooting testosterone enanthate or cypionate in 3 week, even 2 week intervals is going to cause lots of ups and downs. Probably even if you have that sustanon blend or whatever its called. You really should be injecting once a week and, for the best results, splitting up your dose to 2 injections a week.

And really dude, once you get your doseages worked out, you might as well buy it off the internet and quit fucking with those slimey doctors. A bottle of a testosterone blend thats 450 mg/ml is $75 for a 10 ml bottle. At your dose, that'll last you half a year.

Edit: you probably wont actually weigh less but youll be a lot more muscular... definitely won't look fat.

[Griffin]

I got my blood work results back and my t levels went up to 1250 and my free t went up to 39, so she is cutting me back to 150mg a week instead of 200, and i couldn't really see how much i got in my first shot yesterday and only ended up doing half of it so i had to do it again and even though i did it less than a cm away from the spot my doc injected me it bled like crazy for a shot,

i think i went through a little vein or something cause it hurt, going in, it hasn't hurt at all or been sore with any of my previous shots but when i put it in that last time it stung and right when i pulled it out blood was down to my knee by the time i reached for a napkin and put it on it. Plus I shot all of it so i will have to do a 100mg shot the last week instead of 150. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to put the extra .25ml for this shot in my next syringe and then put it back in the empty one to re use or go get a new one so that I am not trying to measure how much i am injecting while I am doing it lol, i am a space cadet sometimes.

Thanks candy, i'll put the thought out of my mind, i had never heard of it and then saw some body builder talking about it on youtube then read some article about how testosterone can cause some people to be fat, along with giving some people an increased appetite and that insulin helps lower the amount of chemical that makes you think your hungry and also makes it work right by telling your receptors to use it and not store as fat.

something to do with some chemical in your body that tells you when your hungry or full, that can also send the wrong message so your body makes you feel hungry more often and stores it as fat instead of trying to convert it to muscle or whatever because it thinks its in survival mode or some shit. I have been doing a lot more exvercising like a millionx moore than 3 months ago but I am a super addict with everything and my will power to not give into eating all the time is non-existent, so I have been eating all day long and eating shit food.

I usually eat meat once a month but have had more meat this month then probably the past 2-3 years combined, damn you bacon cheese whoppers, sausage biscuits, and chicken fried rice. If that shit was illegal I'd be doing way worse shit than I ever did for dope to get it for real! I just was praying that the depression was going to go away and it hasn't, i did read some where that it an take 6-8 weeks for those effects to kick in but a lot of people I knew said it was instant so thats been a little bit dissappointing.

I am getting better though because earlier this year I couldn't even force myself to do one pushup, or brush my teeth, or shower and I have showered and brushed my teeth more this month then the first 5 months of this year combined. I have worked out a few times which would of never happened before, so its coming along but its just like I am still struggling to get out of bed every day.

I was thinking that this could be due to my benzo use but I broke and did it again this month. I get a script of .25 xanax and 1mg ativan that lasts me 2 days, so I take them for 2 days and then dont take for 28 days and I have thought that maybe that is why I have been in the miserable cycle of depression, and I start getting better and then I can't get past the craving of wanting to get high so I call my doc and get my script every month, and then I take it for 2 days and the rest of teh week I have trouble sleeping and restart my depression loop from zero.

I got mine last week even though I have been telling myself I wasn't going to this whole month, and that the testosterone is going to help and that the benzos are the reason I am depressed but of course I broke come refill day and called and went in. I told him I decided to not get off methadone so he told me that he is taking one of the benzos away and asked which one I wanted the xanax or ativan and my dumbass took the xanax so instead of getting 5 doses of ativan i got 2 doses xanax.

The reason I told him that I was going to get off methadone in the first place is because he said he wouldn't prescribe me testosterone until I got off methadone for 2 months and if after that I still had low levels he would think about prescribing it to me. So I went to a doc who specializes in hormone replacement and she put me on it, and since my MMT counselor quit and the clinic director is my new counselor he thought that he needs to make sure that my doctor knows I am on methadone because he has no way of telling if the quarterly faxes they send him were getting to him so he was going to find out I wasn't getting off it for real anyway.

Do you guys think that the 2 days of benzos could be keeping me depressed? I just can't seem to say no to them I hate being on probation, it's sad that I want to become a junkie again so I can be skinny. I think that is another reason I can't say no is its the only thing I can do without going to jail. I can't drink can't smoke cant get off, I am praying i make it these 5.5 more months so I can get off paper and leave this state.


What do you guys think about using caffiene as an appetite suppressant and to help me get out of bed? Maybe if i am bugged out i wont be able to sleep 18 hours a day and lay in bed the other 6. Just take a pill every morning or something I still have a bunch of 200 mg pills I used to get through work when I quit drinking energy drinks. I know that diet and exercise is the only healthy way to do it but I don't have it in me I need a super pill that does everything, do those weight loss pills from gnc work what are in those ephedra?

I got some weight issues when I was in highschool I was basically anorexic, i'd put on a sweat suit, or plastic trash bag and about 5 pair of sweater shirts and 5 pair sweat pants and run 5 miles and bike 1 then go sit in a sauna with it all on for an hour or 2 every day only eating turkey. I had to do that for wrestling every now and then but I did it every day in the summer my freshmen year to get skinny. I wish I had that will power still I guess it got washed awaay with the pills.

 I also think I am physically dependent on benedryl does anyone have any experience with that? I take 150 mgs once a day and if I don't take it once a day I get a head ache, cant sleep, i get nauseous and my stomach hurts, its a weird withdrawal and it goes away about 2 hours after I take them. I have been taking them daily since I got out of jail last april so over a year.

[Guts]

I've been reading your post for a little bit now man and I was really happy to hear you finally got on the stuff... I thought you would be feeling way better by now! When I first started, it was like a drug drug, I couldn't wait until my next shot. You levels are definitely good now... I'm not sure why you don't feel better yet.

Most doctors say it'll take a few weeks to feel better but I felt better right away.... my levels were in the 1400s one day after doing a 250 mg shot. Right now I take about 400 mgs a week. It's probably not great advice and definitely get something for the estrogen spike but taking more definitely works.

Personal question, have your balls shrunk yet? If not and you're not beating off/having sex way more than you used to, it's not working right.

[Daughter of Dionysus]

I had finally found
A good doc
That I really liked
He didn't give me any hassle
Over my Xanax
He went out of his way
To find a medication
That would work for a condition I have

But
Come August 31st
He's leaving
I'm totally bummed about it
It was so nice
To finally have
Such a good doc
After the fucking last bitch doc
I had

[Dopeless Hopefiend]

I actually love my doctor. Me & both of my kids have the same doc which makes it super easy b/c we can schedule appts back to back. She always listens which is really refreshing after having doctors in the past who just talked over me & treated me like an idiot.

[Griffin]

Glad to see your back guts! To answer your questions my sex drive is back in full force, I am starting to worry I have a porn addiction now lol it's like being 14. Also my balls have most def. shrunk I am unsure on if I should tell my doc or not, I don't want her to lower my dose as I could care less about it if the T is making me feel better. I decided to shoot less the week before my blood work to make sure my levels aren't too high so she doesn't reduce my dose, any thoughts on if that is a good or bad idea? I obviously don't want a bunch of negative side effects from too much but I need help losing weight.

If there is something that can be done about the shrinkage besides lowering my dose I'd be interested for sure. I have enough self consciousness about what I lack already don't need to make that any worse. It usually doesn't bother me unless I am having sex with someone new, which luckily for me I am fat and don't have to worry about, it's just irritating I suppose. I am glad that they do studies on that shit, cause growing up I thought I had been completely jipped by god or whoever because I had only seen dick in porn.

I still feel like i was kind of jipped because I really want to be a porn star, and my dreams are ruined unless some new average guy fetish comes in or I go get dick enhancement surgery hah. This should probably go into the guys forum but I don't think many guys check it, I also don't want to alienate any females who weren't able to fulfill their dream of becoming a porn star from being able to talk about it. I've been considering doing webcam stuff, I heard you can make decent money. If I got back to looking like myself again that'd be a sweet job, since I'm not stripper material.

Obviously it might be very hard to make money doing webcam stuff. I am sure it'd be easier and more profitable for women, but honestly it'd be awesome to get money for jerking off, working out or whatever on a webcam. Anyone tried it? I am probably fooling myself thinking people would pay to see something other than a horse cock on a roided out dude or a 15 year old philipino boy but a guy can dream right. Maybe with all the cgi and special effects in the movies these days my dreams of becoming a porn star aren't completely crushed.

My insane appetite lessened this week, I don't know if that is because I lost some of my dose last week because I was trying to shoot less of it, and nicked an vein on the way in. Hopefully the appetite stays away because I gained 10lbs in less than a month, and that was with exercising a million times more than I was before getting on it. It has definitely made me feel better and either way its better than without. I just hope it does everything I want it too, and I get my motivation and energy back, and lose weight so I can have my confidence back too.

I just did my shot and about 3 clear drops came out which kind of pissed me off, I hate losing any of it. I probably just injected to quickly and didn't give it enough time to come out all the way before pulling out the needle. I have a po meeting today so since I may goto jail I decided to just do the whole shot and do less the last week before my next blood test.

I am supposed to be doing 150 mgs weekly and the syringes are 200 mgs preloaded. She wanted me to do 150mg for the 3 syringes I had left and use the 150 mg that is left over for the 4th week. Now I will be doing 100mg the next 2 weeks since I messed up the first time and if I am going to jail I want as much as I can to last as long as possible.

I am considering bringing my doses with me to my po appt and taking an extra dose if she has me arrested, and pray they take me to Denver even though her office is 3 blocks away from the other counties jail where i'd get no done . 5 more months of probation I can't freaking wait to be off this shit, it is killing me slowly I guarantee the stress from all this has taken years off my life.

[Guts]

Thanks Griffin!

Well man, it sounds like the stuff is working as it should... the rest is up to you. Nut shrinkage is unavoidable... it does make your peen look bigger though!

As far as porn, you'd probably have an easier time getting into gay porn... as a bottom... I heard that somewhere. Besides, in straight porno, I'm pretty sure the girls make all the money.

[Esoteric Anhydride]

I got my testosterone blood tests back and when i started 4 weeks ago my levels were 350 for testosterone and 4.5 for free testosterone, well now my levels are 1260 for test and 36 for free testosterone. my doc said to cut my dose to 150mg injected  once a week so i am hopoing that helps is there any benefits to high levels of test like i have now, and what should they be. how can i stop this insane appetite for eating food 24/7 and wanting to eat meat and having the throughts of slaughtering a coW AND EATING IT RAW

Damned impressive jump Griffin. Which ester are you using (enan, cyp, phenylpropionate, etc.)? I just got two bottles of Sustanon 300, which is a four-ester blend (from super fast acting to super slow). Last checked my levels were under 300, but two days after my first pin of maybe 250mg I got wood in the mornings again, my appetite is definitely up and I felt really good today with some good sleep last night, so hopefully this will continue. I've been down a long time thanks to MMT (which I'm about to walk off after 3yrs), I look forward to normalcy again. After dropping from 110mg MD to 50, a lot of my symptoms went away for awhile, I had gyne in my nipples and that went away (ouch!), sweats went away; but after stabilizing all that shit is coming back: even the gyne I think, so fuck it, I'll be back on subs in a couple weeks.. Hell Ya! I really look fwd to being out from under the weight of MMT, it's been well long enough..

[Griffin]

It's either cypionate or ethanate, I am not sure it doesn't say on my prescription its just says testosterone 200mg/ml. I think its' cypionate but could be wrong I will ask when I go back in 2 weeks. It's probably whichever one is more common in the us, i do one injection a week, its clear with a hint of yellow and oily, I will let you know when I find out i meant to ask last month. What are the main differences you have felt from the sustanon 300 that was the one I was looking at if I couldnt' get it through a doctor. When did you start taking it?

[Lilswede]

Hi I'm 30 years old on my for 3/4 years and get 6 months worth of refills for test dr. Has me on 200mg a week of injectable test cypionate p week helps.with energy test is what makes a man a man so having low levels will throw you off