Sobriety day one.

[Thoms (OP)]

Well fuck. This has been day one, I slept until noon and woke up with a deep rooted hatred towards myself and life in general, I have zero desire to move out of be and now at coming on nine o clock my body is starting to ache. Hot flashes and cold sweats are becoming more apparent and feelings of just wanting to die are growing stronger. I know they can be overcome though. I got in a fight with Andi, I guess after eating some benzos I said I'd feed the kids and then promptly fell asleep. I won't go into details but I know we both feel like shit and this sort of thing is to be expected. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay clean, I'd like to as this shit doesn't hold any sort of luster, I mean I love opies and always will but they don't jive with being a parent or with keeping my carreer.

Anyway I tucked this into the men's forum because we don't get much traffic and writing this out is mostly for me. I obviously welcome all comments or whatever as this is a message board. Anyway I'm eating lope and some k pins but trying to not drag this out to long.

[Thoms (OP)]

Day two, no sleep until about six o'clock in the morning and then role at abou eleven at about two o'clock I bought and ate 3 ten mg percs, we will start again tomorrow. This ain't a simple thing. Here we go again.

[Narkotikon]

How's the struggle been since you last posted, Thoms? 

Good luck with it, for both you and Andi. I also hope the arguments are few and brief for you both during this process. They're expected, as you said, as we all know tempers can run high and be short during withdrawal. I know I become a raging bitch. I just hope you both get along as well as possible while sick.

Come back and keep us updated. Maybe journaling this process will help keep your mind focused and the time pass.

And if you don't succeed this time, don't worry. Getting sober is a process. Two steps forward, one step back, etc. Also, if you both realize you can't do this now, maybe maintenance (either MMT or SMT) is a better, more realistic option.

Good luck to you both.

[Thoms (OP)]

Yeah it didn't work so well. Still using. Run out tomorrow, we will see what happens. I think we are both going to get into pain management as we both have issues. I don't know, all we can do is see and try.

[Chip]

I agree with Nark and urge you to consider maintenance therapy.

the feeling of impending doom can be turned right down and every day needn't be a struggle.

[Narkotikon]

Good luck with the pain management route, Thom. If that doesn't work, I'd really give the clinic a try.

I hope tomorrow isn't too rough. Take it easy. 

[Anti-hero]

Tom's I would definitely
Try the seeds
This has been a good send for me
I am not one to go to a clinic
But with the seeds
I am saving money
Helping others out
And getting high once
In a while
I was like you
Thought I would be stuck
Call me
I wanna help

[Thoms (OP)]

I hit you up a minute ago so my numbers in your phone.