dopetalk does not endorse any advertised product nor does it accept any liability for it's use or misuse

This website has run out of funding so feel free to contribute if you can afford it (see footer)

Author Topic: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!  (Read 3870 times)

Offline SuBeGone (OP)

  • Newbie
  • Join Date: Jan 2016
  • Location:
  • Posts: 3
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • SuBeGone is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:January 19, 2016, 05:34:55 AM
  • Our Harm Reduction & Safe Using forum
Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« on: January 18, 2016, 01:22:59 AM »
Hello all, I recently just had a friend pass away due to a overdose. I just went to his funeral today.

I am VERY UNEASY with myself, reason being is many months ago my friend had asked me for my dealer's number and ever since I have been trying to get myself on the right path I have been thinking a lot more than just acting. I was put in a position where he really wanted the number and i sat there thinking to myself and questioning the act of giving him it, because psychologically he had some issues but in a way he could stop all together cold turkey but when he picked it up again he would be ALOT. I ended up giving him the number at that time. I believe he passed away from that person's shit.

So please be honest with me here, i've had some people say he would of found it his way one way or the other. But I beg to differ I think he would of done maybe something else.

Our last interaction with each other was him trying to get me to spend the night as his house begging me to spend the night, he was always very lonely. I had to run out of his house from the back thats how desperate he was.... this was my childhood friend. 4 months had passed of no interaction and this happend. I am in a very bad position, I have not been at peace and have nightmares.

Some comments please?
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Thoms

  • "Is a sex God"
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Jul 2015
  • Location:
  • Posts: 802
  • Reputation Power: 24
  • Thoms is now quite familiar.Thoms is now quite familiar.
  • Last Login:May 27, 2018, 01:32:26 AM
  • Welcome to our community forum ...
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2016, 01:48:39 AM »
You lost your friend and for that I'm sorry. Let's draw parallels here. If you introduced your friend to a car salesman and he dies in a car wreck would you feel guilty? Maybe but you would know that it wasn't your fault as your friend was the one who wanted to buy a car. He was driving not you.
I hope you find peace
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Fear and self loathing in thoms.

Offline Snout

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Location: The state of WA
  • Posts: 298
  • Reputation Power: 20
  • Snout is now quite familiar.Snout is now quite familiar.
  • Gender: Male
  • Last Login:November 09, 2019, 10:37:02 AM
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2016, 04:11:21 AM »
Nobody sticks a needle in your arm. It wasn't your fault, I'm sorry for your loss.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
I myself have found a real rival in myself,
I am hoping for a re-arrival of my health- wilco

Offline SuBeGone (OP)

  • Newbie
  • Join Date: Jan 2016
  • Location:
  • Posts: 3
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • SuBeGone is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:January 19, 2016, 05:34:55 AM
  • Our Harm Reduction & Safe Using forum
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2016, 04:24:11 AM »
I guess I am just asking myself what happens if I never gave him that # and he wondered off doing something else that is stupid and never planned on returning to dope since he had no one. That is what bugs me. Because he was that type of person who seemed like he could walk away and all I would have to have done was hang up. I don't know it seemed like I aided this...?
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Morfy

  • Free Falling Around The World
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Location: In a state that rhymes with "BLEXAS"
  • Posts: 508
  • Reputation Power: 35
  • Morfy is working their way up.Morfy is working their way up.Morfy is working their way up.
  • Gender: Male
  • Last Login:September 29, 2017, 01:44:51 AM
  • Enjoying the stelliferous era--while it lasts
    • THE DRUGS AND USERS CHAT ROOM
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2016, 05:00:25 AM »
I'm really sorry for your loss SBG:


As other have already shown, the role you played was minor, and there are so many What-Ifs that you shouldn't let it weigh you down.


I won't try to list even the 1st hundred What Ifs, but here are some, right off the top of my head:


1- What if you didn't give him the dealer's number, and your friend went to try and score on his own?
     a- Maybe he goes to a bad neighborhood and gets shot during a rip-off (is that your fault?)
     b- What if he gets tangled up with the Po-Po trying to score on his own?
     c- What if he gets some crap dope that's been spiked with a lethal amount of fentanyl?

2- What if you gave him your dealer's number, and your dealer pass him on to someone else?  Maybe its this other dealer's product.

3- I don't know anything about your friend, except from what you've provided, so I say this with all due respect; but let's say your friend was really, really unhappy and was looking for a way out?  Maybe if he couldn't find a  relatively peaceful method like an OD, he would have found another way.  What if that other way didn't work and now he has to live the rest of his life severely injured?

4- What if you put yourself in your friend's shoes, and YOUR friend wouldn't hook you up with HIS dealer?  Would you let that stop you from trying to score?  No, you would find some other way to try and get what you wanted.

5- What it really comes down to SBG, your friend was an adult and he made decisions for himself.  There is not one person of sound mind who doesn't realize that using drugs--especially hard drugs--can be dangerous, even potentially deadly.  If you add shooting IV to this, it also ups the ante (I don't know if you friend injected, smoked, or ate the drugs).  The point is, adults weigh the pros & cons and make their decision.

There is an exception to #5, and that is if a person is NOT of sound mind.  An adult in this situation may make a bad decision based on an improper weighing of the pros & cons.  Unfortunately, if the decision being weighed has life and death consequences, then there is not much others can do.  There is involuntary commitment to a psychiatric hospital, which has saved a lot of lives; but far too many people slip through the cracks and can not benefit from such help.

This was his decision; your role was negligible. 
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
All matter is simply cooled and condensed energy.

Offline SuBeGone (OP)

  • Newbie
  • Join Date: Jan 2016
  • Location:
  • Posts: 3
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • SuBeGone is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:January 19, 2016, 05:34:55 AM
  • Our Harm Reduction & Safe Using forum
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2016, 05:19:11 AM »
I'm really sorry for your loss SBG:


As other have already shown, the role you played was minor, and there are so many What-Ifs that you shouldn't let it weigh you down.


I won't try to list even the 1st hundred What Ifs, but here are some, right off the top of my head:


1- What if you didn't give him the dealer's number, and your friend went to try and score on his own?
     a- Maybe he goes to a bad neighborhood and gets shot during a rip-off (is that your fault?)
     b- What if he gets tangled up with the Po-Po trying to score on his own?
     c- What if he gets some crap dope that's been spiked with a lethal amount of fentanyl?

2- What if you gave him your dealer's number, and your dealer pass him on to someone else?  Maybe its this other dealer's product.

3- I don't know anything about your friend, except from what you've provided, so I say this with all due respect; but let's say your friend was really, really unhappy and was looking for a way out?  Maybe if he couldn't find a  relatively peaceful method like an OD, he would have found another way.  What if that other way didn't work and now he has to live the rest of his life severely injured?

4- What if you put yourself in your friend's shoes, and YOUR friend wouldn't hook you up with HIS dealer?  Would you let that stop you from trying to score?  No, you would find some other way to try and get what you wanted.

5- What it really comes down to SBG, your friend was an adult and he made decisions for himself.  There is not one person of sound mind who doesn't realize that using drugs--especially hard drugs--can be dangerous, even potentially deadly.  If you add shooting IV to this, it also ups the ante (I don't know if you friend injected, smoked, or ate the drugs).  The point is, adults weigh the pros & cons and make their decision.

There is an exception to #5, and that is if a person is NOT of sound mind.  An adult in this situation may make a bad decision based on an improper weighing of the pros & cons.  Unfortunately, if the decision being weighed has life and death consequences, then there is not much others can do.  There is involuntary commitment to a psychiatric hospital, which has saved a lot of lives; but far too many people slip through the cracks and can not benefit from such help.

This was his decision; your role was negligible.

Thank you everyone for there time in replying. Truly does help.

As far as Question #2 he tried suicide while he was away from college which I ended up saving him, he ODed later on and had a hole in his throat as well as lost part of his hearing... he was unhappy yes but I don't think he was looking for a way out but was simply doing X amount based on emotions and it just kills me.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Sand and Water

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Location: Eastern US
  • Posts: 596
  • Reputation Power: 0
  • Sand and Water has hidden their reputation power
  • Gender: Female
  • Last Login:March 16, 2016, 06:27:41 AM
  • Welcome to our community forum ...
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2016, 08:54:27 AM »
^^^everything Morphy said x1000. Im so sorry for your loss SBG. It's particularly hard when its someone you have real close ties to. It's super easy for me to think "well, if I'd done X or Y, things might be different", but the truth is, I'm really *only* in charge of me. From what you're saying, he would've found another avenue, so it really isn't on you. (Just my take on it)

Sincere condolences on the loss of your friend. I hope your heart hurts less and some good memories come to mind as time goes on :(
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

Z

  • Guest
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2016, 12:12:03 PM »
Losing friends is rough.  Especially with a suicide.  It can make you question things you did, and if you could have seen and helped.  THe truth is that it doesn't really matter, because you couldn't change things even if you wanted to.  Beside that, none of it is really your fault. 


Try to calm your mind, and remember the good times you had together. 
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Specter

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Location:
  • Posts: 94
  • Reputation Power: 5
  • Specter is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:October 08, 2018, 04:46:58 AM
  • Harm Reduction & Safe Using
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2016, 08:40:22 PM »
If you OD'd would you blame the person that introduced you to the dealer you got the product from?

All of us have dealers, connects, whatever but someone had to introduce us the first time right?  Definitely not your fault-- it's always the addicts fault to put drugs in their body... Period.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline DeadCat

  • Deceased
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Join Date: Jul 2015
  • Location:
  • Posts: 704
  • Reputation Power: 41
  • DeadCat is now getting very popular.DeadCat is now getting very popular.DeadCat is now getting very popular.DeadCat is now getting very popular.
  • Last Login:June 07, 2017, 04:01:37 PM
  • Welcome to our community forum ...
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2016, 09:27:33 PM »
If you OD'd would you blame the person that introduced you to the dealer you got the product from?

All of us have dealers, connects, whatever but someone had to introduce us the first time right?  Definitely not your fault-- it's always the addicts fault to put drugs in their body... Period.

"Fault" is a little harsh I think. People use drugs for many reasons. More people die from prescription overdoses than illegal drugs. Some were trying to get high some were seeking relief from unending pain. Big Pharma floods the country with oxy and then the DEA strong arms doctors into witholding adequate pain relief and people are caught in the middle and some will buy heroin or other drugs to ease pain or dependence that a doctor will not.

It is a very HUMAN thing to want to get high. Criminalizing and stigmatizing people behaving as people have always done. Every time I read about some drug tragedy in a news websiteand then read the comments section to see ignorant heartless comments by brainwashed "straight" people who can't see the drug dependent as human as themsleves.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Chip

  • Server Admin
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Join Date: Dec 2014
  • Location: Australia
  • Posts: 6502
  • Reputation Power: 0
  • Chip has hidden their reputation power
  • Gender: Male
  • Last Login:September 21, 2021, 08:21:42 AM
  • Deeply Confused Learner
  • Profession: IT Engineer
Re: Close Friend Just Passed Away! Very Uneasy With Myself!
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2016, 10:18:49 PM »
maybe one of the worst things we do as users is that we often inadvertently propagate addiction so i cannot judge ye.

there is a duty-of-care line somewhere but it's slippery ... as are the bad personal choices.

more education and warnings can't go amiss.

keeping aloof helps, of course.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
I do not condone or support any illegal activities. All information is for theoretical discussion and wonder.
All activities discussed are considered fictional and hypothetical. Information of all discussion has been derived from online research and in the spirit of personal Freedom.

Tags:
 


dopetalk does not endorse any advertised product nor does it accept any liability for it's use or misuse





TERMS AND CONDITIONS

In no event will d&u or any person involved in creating, producing, or distributing site information be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, special or consequential damages arising out of the use of or inability to use d&u. You agree to indemnify and hold harmless d&u, its domain founders, sponsors, maintainers, server administrators, volunteers and contributors from and against all liability, claims, damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from the use of any part of the d&u site.


TO USE THIS WEBSITE YOU MUST AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS ABOVE


Founded December 2014
SimplePortal 2.3.6 © 2008-2014, SimplePortal