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Author Topic: Crazy writing sample  (Read 4876 times)

Offline Zoops (OP)

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Crazy writing sample
« on: November 03, 2015, 12:17:12 AM »
Hey I'm high on PST, on the verge of nodding, and started typing because I could feel that silly mood coming on where everything I think of is strange combinations of words or images...

Howdy folks, mah name’s Hymen Lomax, and I’m the cheer hustler in charge of potato wrangling on diss hear bikini ranch. I got a story ta tale y’all, if’n ya care ta here it.

Yeah? Whale good, den. It awl started round bout tayin’ year go, back when day firs pass dat dare law bout ya culdn’t hayve more an’ 17 hog spillers spread out round yer fields at one time. Whale, as you know lots of them taters got shifted out and mixed up with bamboo shoots and candy corn, and that messed up hour hole operation dat Sprinkletime.

So in da mist of awl hour despair, long came a somebody name o’ Lloyd G. Sluffenbrucker, sayed he were a doctor of carpet shinin’. Dat fairly impressed lots of the hum bull and dour little meekers in hour dumble brotherhood, so we said to him, “how much can you drive up the price of pine cones in place of charcoal briquets and terrycloth?” He just smale an say, “I kin do wutcha need me ta do, so let’s just say I can liken it to a small lizard tryin to hump an eighteen-wheeler truck.”
 
That pretty much cracked up the whole bunch of us, and we said, "we’ll start ‘er up tamarra mernin’ and get on all doughs long pipe cracks ya got happnen out in the broader reaches of the carbon footprints and eggshell castings over by the knob wrapper."

I gyess we all jus’ needit sum buddy ta mask us till we was reddy ta start fishin agin, but green an smokey de next mernin’ all 32 of us was runnin like the dickens, tryin to keep up with all them antenna larvae that was stuck in the grease tracks swimmin on engraved boxer shorts.

We finnish late the next haptanoon, and we was all fixin ta dip hour swim bonnets in hot wax when someone shouted, “hay, dat’s knot yer knuckle, jerky!” and out comes five of the saddess lookin’ spoke menders you ever did see, all droppin right out the latrine in the cane break like won, too, free, for…

An’ den day awl juss start cryin’ loud is all getout. We thot it were sew dam funny, I like to had fatty liver stenosis to this day. Never did find my golden underwear tho’. Or my autographed copy of “Behind the Backstory” by Axiom Ledbetter. Think that lowlife had just simple tooken it.

Whale, the next graham crackers and kool aid time, Mr. Sluffenbrucker high-taled it outa that branch tasting camp faster than yew kin say, “I’d like to have all my cranial o-rings degreased post-haste.” All the folks in my party went in nothing coming to 3 out of 4, as opposed to Dexter, who went fifty/ninety-three. But o’ coarse y’all already understand all that dumb stuff.

To make a very long story even shorter, that guy ne’er did show his face round diss ear little booty plot agin, an’ we steal tale the story of how he managed to almost cheat all of us out’n ‘er cut of kimono belts and pare o’ wilts that season.

Thems were tha good ole daze, back when you culd play ping pong with hedgehog teeth and shirt plasters stuck to a string bean, and sleep half the time while doin it too. Excep all the problems with people complainin’ bout how they butter was all lumpy with the hares diggin up tree licenses and a whole bunch of other stuff, but thassa storey fir another night, fray-ends.
               The End  :D
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Offline AllNightLong

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2015, 12:26:37 AM »
What the serious fuck was that? I will admit I wanted to keep reading to see where you were going but I am not on that level atm. Maybe under some different circumstances I could keep up with you.

Offline corlene

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #2 on: November 03, 2015, 12:36:24 AM »
I've gotta say, I understand pretty much everything I read, but I'm pretty lost bud.

Offline dysmorphic

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #3 on: November 03, 2015, 12:39:50 AM »
i got it!

gardening on acid whilst listening to some old school acid rock?

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Offline Illadelph215

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2015, 12:47:27 AM »
"Runnin like the dickens". "Stuck in grease tracks swimmin on engraved boxer shorts". And last but not least my favorite - " we finnish late the next Haptanoon". Hahaah though I had trouble making sense of it all I did find it thoroughly entertaining. I'm pretty fucked up ATM but not fucked up enough to entirely get this if there is a getting it but that was part of the fun. Your hillbilly/Pennsyltucky Dutch accent you got going on is top of the line if I may say so myself.
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Offline jdub

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2015, 12:48:45 AM »
I couldn't make it more than a few lines in. The "colloquial" spelling bugged me tbh.

Offline ArSoN

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2015, 02:47:14 AM »
Interesting work...I gotta lower my tolerance to bring on those types of feelings again. I do miss being just plain old ripped

Offline Zoops (OP)

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2015, 08:43:42 AM »
Scald "creative writing while high as shit on poppy seed tea."
"The future ain't what it used to be."
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Offline thetalkingasshole

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2015, 08:50:50 AM »
Awesome!

I wish I had some focus to do something like this
As I grew up, I opened my eyes and saw the real world, and I began to laugh, and I haven't stopped since

Offline Chip

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2015, 09:06:55 AM »
could be a crude "zoops-bot" / software ... basically an obvious attempt to lower the tone of the site by generating streams on nonsensical text ... if i was serious, that is.

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Offline makadone7dayz3

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2015, 12:09:43 PM »
Im dead ass sober waiting in line at the post, and i have no idea what was going on. Sorry zoops. Why would you wanna do intellectually challenging activities when your high anyways ? Nod out and enjoy.

Offline corlene

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2015, 12:20:30 PM »
Alot of folks get high or even totally wasted and become very much more mentally aware, in touch with things that are otherwise repressed. It's quite interesting. I took my sats and act in high school and got a 1320 on the sats and 29 on the acts while sober, the second time I was totally fucked up and scored 1530 on sats and 31 on acts.

Go figure?

They've since changed the way they score those tests though. Making it easier on the no child left behind kids, shame really.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2015, 12:22:57 PM by corlene »

Offline Illadelph215

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2015, 01:09:39 PM »
Alot of folks get high or even totally wasted and become very much more mentally aware, in touch with things that are otherwise repressed. It's quite interesting. I took my sats and act in high school and got a 1320 on the sats and 29 on the acts while sober, the second time I was totally fucked up and scored 1530 on sats and 31 on acts.

Go figure?

They've since changed the way they score those tests though. Making it easier on the no child left behind kids, shame really.
I can attest. Pretty sure the only artwork I've made since my school days is when I was so bent I didn't remember until waking up to it. It's not even close to everytime I'm fucked or I'd be making a lot of art but more or less when I have just the right combination in me. Somewhere along the lines of stims/opiates/benzos/psychedelics. Pretty sure that's another reason I barley make art anymore because finding that sweet zone with that combo isn't very ideal most of the time and also very dangerous I would reckon.
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Offline Zoops (OP)

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2015, 09:37:07 PM »
Shit, if I had a large supply of Dexedrine/Adderall and a decent opiate (pref. Heroin, but would settle for HM, OC, OM, even HC) or opioid (pref. fentanyl drugs, except remifentanyl - too short-acting) as I'm sure my great great uncle, Wm. Merritt Chase partook of back around the turn of the 20th century, I'd be painting or drawing up a storm.

Back in the early 90's I had access to mad amounts of Dexedrine 15mg spansules. Fuckin' niiiiiice. But that comedown - as in it's 3am and don't have any more (and no benzo's or even alcohol or MJ), sweating like crazy, ^HR, ^BP - is enough to make one want to put a pistol in one's mouth - no shit.

So anyways, during my Dexedrine phase, before and during pharm school, I would drop about 45mg of Dexedrine, (3 capsules) into a hot cup of coffee or tea, and stir until the orange and yellow and white beads inside the capsules would dissolve, resulting in an orange "slick" of wax at the surface of the liquid. Always had a distinctive taste to it too, as I remember.

In the amphetamine-fueled state, I would create all sorts of intricate designs with pen and black ink (just Biro/ball point in black ink), and color them in with colored pencils. Paisleys, botanical motifs, organic psychedelic type patterns and shit too with crawling reptiles and insects... Some of my better work was pretty damn good I'd say. Pity I never saved any of it. A buddy from college actually had a couple (2) of my works framed. Wonder if he still has them.

Oh and I forgot to mention, listening to primarily techno on headphones completed the scene, and made it so I was in "the zone" while doing this artwork. Totally subsumed into another plane of reality is how I'd describe it.

Would love to experience that again somehow, someday...
« Last Edit: November 03, 2015, 09:47:16 PM by Zoops »
"The future ain't what it used to be."
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"You can observe a lot just by watching."
- Yogi Berra

"Drugs are so fucking good....that they'll ruin your life."
- Louis C.K.

Offline nick

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Re: Crazy writing sample
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2015, 10:11:05 PM »
Good stuff,Zoops-great to see someone enjoying and having fun with words and language.

When inspiration and the drugs strike be sure to post the results in this thread.

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