Depression is like fragging yourself

[Jega (OP)]

For me dpression is like a constent war between your id, your ego, your super--ego and all the same time it's like your fragging yourself

[LoneRanger7]

Depression is a bitch. Supposedly it's the reason I'm always "self-medicating". IDK but when I don't take my SSRIs my drug cravings go out of control. Like right meow.

[Anti-hero]

In my not so humble opinion.
Just the down right truth.
Depression is more crippling.
Than a physical wound.
They wound you can see the progress off them healing.

Mental health,
Here are your options
Standard 15 min visit with a script,
Payc out the ass for a good physc,
Jail.
That's your options.
In good ole merica.

They can't make any money.
unless they see 50 patients a day,
Or charge 300 an hour.
Or work at the jail, because they can't get employment anywhere else.
And in the last case it's usually the
15 min get a tranquilizer. Cause they don't get paid enough to give a fuck.
I have spent more time in a dentist chair
Then on the couch.
But hey if you got a great smile.
You can't be sad right?

I am so sorry Jega but you got my email and if you want to talk I'm.Here to listen.
I change my phone number like 3 times a year so I don't think the one you have for ush is any good.

And I am shitting myself as I took my last xanax last night.
So I am off to find more atm.

It can get really bad for me
Because I have
Seasonal mod disorder
Borderline schizophrenic
And agoraphobia.

That's why when we make plans to leave. I can make it about as far as the state line.

[Jega (OP)]

I'm feeling really depressed tonight. I mean rally depressed.

I just have no one to talk too. 

[Riddick">Riddick]

I'm feeling really depressed tonight. I mean rally depressed.

I just have no one to talk too.

Sup.

[Jega (OP)]

every year or so i wrote Laura I letter that I never end send. Maybe it helps me get my feelings out , but this year I feel I need to show it to someone. So sympathise with me ridicule me, either way this is the honest truth about how I feel today.

Dear Laura 10-19-15

I don’t know why I continue to these letters. Maybe it helps me. It seems every year I write you but never send it. I really do want the best for you.  I mean we talk a couple a couple a times a year but this isn’t the same as me writing this out.
 
I know, or at least I believe that you know I just want you to be happy. I would give anything if I could be the one to make you happy. I wish, want to be the one to make you happy.

 I know we we’re young but we had fun you and I. We really did. I know it’s crazy but when they hold up the Eucharist, I pray to let me do it all over all over again; you and ;. I promise I would get right this time. You know I’m a committee realist but a man can still pray.

I understand you have committed to this man for the rest of your life. I understand you are trying to raise a family, and you are still putting dinner on the table. I won’t lie, I want you, but I want nothing but the best of you.

But damn do I love you. It was its 8th anniversary of separation the other day (10-6-07) but damnit I love you just as much. I think about you all the time. I understand that it’s more than I can’t let you go but I won’t let you go. I’ve never felt joy like that before than when I was with you. You took me from the worst part of my life to the best part of my life.

And even if you were only with me because you felt sorry because my mom had just died I don’t care. I mean I would care as anyone would, and I don’t think that was the reason we were together, but I’ve never felt joy like that before than when I was with you. But I know what is real and you really loved me. I sew the look in your eyes when you looked at me. And I saw the look at your face when you told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore. You we’re heartbroken too.

I can’t move past you. That’s the honest truth. I loved you and I can’t move past you. I would rather love you even if you didn’t love me because the joy I felt being with you is more happiness then I ever thought existed in this world.

LIONEL RICHIE LYRICS
"Hello"

I've been alone with you
Inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips
A thousand times
I sometimes see you
Pass outside my door
Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted
And my arms are open wide
'cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love you

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again
How much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello!
I've just got to let you know
'cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you

Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
'cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you

[Chip]

i wonder how different drug-induced depression feels as opposed to that of clinical depression (?).

i experience depression on the second half of the week when the meth. had left the building.

i'm not normally prone to depression but i do struggle with the deficit that my choices give me.

what cures me is mot stimulants OR opiates, believe it or not.

[Riddick">Riddick]

I like you man. And I wish the best for you. If this chick is alive or if this is imaginative shit you made up to make up for being lonely, then either way you gotta stick that chest out and learn that you gotta take the hits. You seem like the hopeful/loyal type and that can get you fucked hard plenty of times. In my humble opinion, you clearly cant let this girl go even though its been 8 years. So I'd say, fuck if she is with someone or has anything inside her belly. You gotta go and tell her how you feel or else this seems like something that will haunt you forever. Just my opinion.

[Jega (OP)]

i wonder how different drug-induced depression fee This is Jega speaking:Moderate amounts of Lorazepam ALprazolam oh Let's count GABA, Massive amounts of Flubromazolam and Clonazolam as opposed to that of clinical depression (?).

i experience depression on the second half of the week when the meth. had left the building.

i'm not normally prone to depression but i do struggle with the deficit that my choices give me.

what cures me is mot stimulants OR opiates, believe it or not.

[Riddick">Riddick]

I thought youd give something more honest after your previous post, but ok got you bro.

[Jega (OP)]

In my humble opinion, you clearly cant let this girl go even though its been 8 years. So I'd say, fuck if she is with someone or has anything inside her belly. You gotta go and tell her how you feel about or else this seems like something that will haunt you forever. Just my opinion.

She has a family now. She has a son with a man who is not me now. Over the years i've come to the realization that I will always love Laura. Not everyone get's their princess. She is my princess. But i'm the only one saying that's a bad thing. It's dealing with it that becomes the issue. And that's not an easy issue.

[Chip]

so is my crystal meth use likely to cause me the same anxiety and depression as you feel, but to a lesser degree ?

i occasionally get the feeling of impending doom.

[Riddick">Riddick]

In my humble opinion, you clearly cant let this girl go even though its been 8 years. So I'd say, fuck if she is with someone or has anything inside her belly. You gotta go and tell her how you feel about or else this seems like something that will haunt you forever. Just my opinion.

She has a family now. She has a son with a man who is not me now. Over the years i've come to the realization that I will always love Laura. Not everyone get's their princess. She is my princess. But i'm the only one saying that's a bad thing. It's dealing with it that becomes the issue. And that's not an easy issue.

Its been 8 effin years bro. At what point does it become an excuse to use?

[Jega (OP)]

In my humble opinion, you clearly cant let this girl go even though its been 8 years. So I'd say, fuck if she is with someone or has anything inside her belly. You gotta go and tell her how you feel about or else this seems like something that will haunt you forever. Just my opinion.

She has a family now. She has a son with a man who is not me now. Over the years i've come to the realization that I will always love Laura. Not everyone get's their princess. She is my princess. But i'm the only one saying that's a bad thing. It's dealing with it that becomes the issue. And that's not an easy issue.

Its been 8 effin years bro. At what point does it become an excuse to use?

The childs birthday.

[Riddick">Riddick]

Im only imagining. But Im seeing it through your eyes and imagining the child as my own. That is rough man. If it helps at all, statistically the chances of her being the "perfect one" for you are like zero.