Weird paranoia feeling, visual disturbances after opiates (PST)

[suboxstitute (OP)]

Not sure where to post this; I don't think it's specific to poppy seeds since I remember this happening to me years ago from  - I want to say - codeine -  of all things.

Please do not laugh.    This is well and truly freaking me out to the point where I can hardly be alone in our house.   I'm a grown-ass woman who's generally able to take care of herself, who's raised kids, etc.      I've been wanting to ask someone about this for ages to see if anyone can relate.... it doesn't happen when I haven't used so I think it's related.  Maybe it is something in the poppy seeds; the morphine? codeine?  Something weird?   I didn't do morphine when I was using pills so it's basically a new drug to me. 

These past few months (and getting way worse) a few hours after I've dosed, I get this sickening, awful feeling of terrible fear and dread - - like paranoia....like there's something or someone coming up behind me or looking through the windows.    I live with my husband in a normal neighborhood in a normal house .  There's probably NOT strange creatures (or humans) peering in through our windows or creeping up behind me.   

But I have this feeling of fear and dread that is impossible to describe and that I can't shake with rational thought.     I did have a legit anxiety disorder/PTSD diagnosed in the past and have been treated for it  - - more or less -   I still have some degree of anxiety in general but this isn't the same thing at all.   

This is like being a little kid and waking up in a dark room thinking there's something under the bed.  To the point where my heart's pounding, I'm sweating, the whole nine yards.

And even worse there's something like visual hallucinations (which I've never had, drug-induced or otherwise)....
I look up from reading or from being on the PC and I swear I see movement down the hall, or see some kind of shadowy figures.  It's out of the corner of my eye.  I'm starting to hear weird noises too.  So visual and auditory hallucinations.  Yeah. 

Years and years ago I remember taking a bunch of codeine and having something like this happen.    Very isolated, and didn't occur again over all the years I was using a lot (of course I was also pretty well dosed up with clonazepam at the same time, so there's that). 


TL;DR     After ingesting PST I get a very unpleasant and sickening reaction of extreme fear/paranoia accompanied by visual disturbances ('seeing things'). 
Is it the morphine/whatever else in the PST?  Don't make fun of me I'm too scared. 

[Narkotikon]

Hey Sue, I really would NOT worry about this.  The same thing happened to me for the first year or so of doing pod tea. 

Basically, it was what you described.  I'd see shadowy figures out of the corner of my eye.  I'd be watching TV, looking at the computer screen, doing anything really, and I'd see dark, shadowy movements that were fleeting.  As soon as I looked over toward them, they were gone. 

At first it kinda freaked me out too.  I've always had an interest in the occult and supernatural things.  I was also living alone in my apartment, which was in an older house.  I thought maybe the place was haunted, and the pod tea was making me more receptive to ghosts or something. 

Well, it eventually went away.  I honestly think it's due to the different alkaloids in pod tea and seed tea.  Your brain gets quite a workout with all the different alkaloids in opium. 

Morphine, codeine, thebaine, noscapine, narcotine, papaverine, etc.  IIRC, there are around 30 or so different alkaloids in there. 

And different batches of pods and seeds will have different ratios.  One batch may be higher in morphine and codeine, but lower in thebaine.  Another might be high in morphine and thebaine, but low in codeine, etc.

I'm sure those differences affect the brain in different ways. 

All of the alkaloids could be activating different areas of the brain.  Maybe some of the tea is affecting your visual center, or your auditory center, etc. 

I never got any paranoia from pod tea or seed tea, but I can definitely relate to the shadowy figures.  I will go away eventually, at least it did for me.  Plus, you said this was your first time doing morphine, either alone or in tea, so it could be partly that too. 

If you were to seek help with this, as soon as you say visual hallucinations, 90% of the time that will be assumed to be drug-induced.  It's just that true visual hallucinations are rare.  People are much more likely to have auditory hallucinations during mental illness (schizophrenia, e.g.).  Visual hallucinations are much more common with drug use. 

Hope this helps. 

[Chip]

never used tea but it's a brew of alkaloids and some are a bit trippy. sounds about right depending on how the plant was grown.

I'd turn it around and go with it. sounds interesting.

[Thoms]

I was going to ask if you ever had any past mental health issues as that,to me, would be the real thing to look at. Im bipolar and know that can show up with and with out a drugs help. Maybe get checked out by a doc. A drug called lemactil might lend a hand in making not only pods a better experience but it might help out with some issues in everyday life you arent evan aware of. It is hard to distinguish slight bits of mental health moments if you are just used to living with them.

[dysmorphic]

sounds to me like a panic attack. some drugs just don't work well for some people. i know that my pops {93 years old so take what i am saying with a grain of salt} will hallucinate like a mother fucker off of morphine. pills or shots it makes no difference. he sees full on trains flying through the air, waves crashing over his bed that sort of thing. give him dilaudid {fuck me i dunno how to spell it} though and he is good to go. no issues of any kind. they just put him on methadone and he is ok with that too. although it pounds the ever loving shit out of him.

maybe try another kind of opiate?

[suboxstitute (OP)]

Thanks, all.  Maybe it's something w/the morphine.   If I can remind myself that it's a sort of a "chemical reaction", maybe that will help.  I don't want to stop using them, although I am careful not to increase my dose beyond the "get well/little bit of energy" level. 

Before I tried poppy seeds I didn't believe they could be this strong and that they really do work .  Incidentally,  my dad (RIP) had a terrible reaction to morphine when he was in his fifties,  given to him post-op for orthopedic surgery.   Like in, he was totally delusional (thinking the nurses were out to kill him, not recognizing me and his sister/my aunt.     He/we told the doctors he'd had this reaction and then, years later in his 70's, he was given it again by mistake and same thing: bat shit crazy paranoid delusional.   Huh. 

Hope the seed tea isn't bringing out other mental health issues.   I've been dx'd with major depression/anxiety in the past but not so much right now.

Thanks for not laughing. 

[Jega]

There are other alkaloids besides morphine and codeine Poppy Seed Tea. The most well known is Thebaine but also papaverine and noscapine. These can cause sever anxiety .

I'd write more but I just got home from a stress test I and my heart is beating 158 beats a minute

THDR: It's not uncommon to have anxiety from PST

[suboxstitute (OP)]

There are other alkaloids besides morphine and codeine Poppy Seed Tea. The most well known is Thebaine but also papaverine and noscapine. These can cause sever anxiety .

I'd write more but I just got home from a stress test I and my heart is beating 158 beats a minute

THDR: It's not uncommon to have anxiety from PST

Jega  - - -   that is so helpful.  And why is your heart beating at 150+ bpm?  Hope you're OK.     Wait does "THDR" mean "Too high; don't remember?"   lol

And can you guys all come over and protect me?

[Jega]

There are other alkaloids besides morphine and codeine Poppy Seed Tea. The most well known is Thebaine but also papaverine and noscapine. These can cause sever anxiety .

I'd write more but I just got home from a stress test I and my heart is beating 158 beats a minute

THDR: It's not uncommon to have anxiety from PST

Jega  - - -   that is so helpful.  And why is your heart beating at 150+ bpm?  Hope you're OK.     Wait does "THDR" mean "Too high; don't remember?"   lol

And can you guys all come over and protect me?

I meant to say tl:dl but i'll be ok. It was just stress test and I have a tiny bit of of Flubromazolam left. I'll be ok.

[Morfy]

Agree with others.

There a mess of chemicals in PST and Jega noted the biggies.

Thebaine by itself will cause seizures in high doses (a stimulant, which in lower doses might just tweak a panic reaction in you). 

Your seeds may have a high content of Thebaine--are your seeds from Australian?  I think there is a Pharm Farm there that grows poppies high in thebaine.

I wouldn't think its any insecticide from the seeds (since they are used for food), or any other source of bizarre chemicals.

The last two nights, combining adderall with PST has caused me hours of an almost-tumbling/falling sensation. 

Being acrophobic, I get a little scared on high places (like stadium nose bleed section).  This sensation is like looking back over my shoulder, down to the field, some ~ 200 feet below, and I am falling backwards.

Currently using FTL Aus., so maybe I am getting a Thebaine trip...?

[suboxstitute (OP)]

Agree with others.

There a mess of chemicals in PST and Jega noted the biggies.

Thebaine by itself will cause seizures in high doses (a stimulant, which in lower doses might just tweak a panic reaction in you). 

Your seeds may have a high content of Thebaine--are your seeds from Australian?  I think there is a Pharm Farm there that grows poppies high in thebaine.

I wouldn't think its any insecticide from the seeds (since they are used for food), or any other source of bizarre chemicals.

The last two nights, combining adderall with PST has caused me hours of an almost-tumbling/falling sensation. 

Being acrophobic, I get a little scared on high places (like stadium nose bleed section).  This sensation is like looking back over my shoulder, down to the field, some ~ 200 feet below, and I am falling backwards.

Currently using FTL Aus., so maybe I am getting a Thebaine trip...?

Thank you Sir Morfy... I have indeed used FTL Australia and Spanish (yuck on the Spanish peppery smell plus they don't really work IME) recently... but these were SN (origin United Kingdom expiration 6/2016).   And they are pretty good, def the best out there mail order-wise afaik.

So I'll try to keep calm and not freak out (it mainly happens late at night; I don't feel that way now and I'm under the influence.....  At least it's not nausea, that was my problem earlier this summer.  Two benadryl & a few tums taken 30 minutes before dosing helps with that.


WAIT!  Seriously, WHO or WHAT is out on the FRONT PORCH TRYING TO GET IN?  I'm HERE ALONE.    (Goes to check.  Comes back alive.)  It was the mailman with another delivery of SN.