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Author Topic: Opioids  (Read 1841 times)

Offline Anti-hero (OP)

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Opioids
« on: May 01, 2017, 03:45:32 PM »
 My god my baby boy. My first born son. Your fathrrs name sake. Are you all right. I just wanted her to yell out.
 The relief I felt when they took me away. I was hand chuffed. I dont know why the felt the need to hand cuff a 13 year old kid whos  weight was about 95 pounds soaking wet. I was going to ARDC thats some sort of acronym for juvie.
 I was hurt battered and raped. I had been gone for 30 days. These days a 13 yo disappears for 30 days there are amber alerts. You cant do that any more. It was a different time back then.
 Still I felt such relief when they were taking me away. My little tiny body hurt, was battered bruised. Yet any thing was better then they yelling she would give me. Who knows she might have even smaked me. That had stoped when I got big enough to fight back, but who knows she might have built enough to beat the shit out of me one last time.
 Im a 3rd named after my dad who was named after his dad. So I have to put a III behind my name, but thats all I hear from her,him,her,they,them. Is I, I, I, not ever you.
 How the fuck does a 13 yo kid run away get raped in the ass. Yet only hear I,I,I. When they come home.
 I,I,I sow my eyes shut. Close the lid of the coffin put plenty of nails in it to make sure the vampire cant get out. The I,I,I will finally have peace. At last peace. Not scared who will fuck your ashes. Who will live off of your trust fund.
 Opioids why yes we have them. They will make your asshole stop hurting. They will make all the pain go away.
 Warning,warning danger Will Rogers. Once you take them there are there to stay.
 Knot in your stomic ?
Opioids
 Pain in your eyes ?
Opioids
 Back hurts
Opioids.
 Wanna die?
Opioids.
 Whos yor daddy ?
Opioids.
 Who's your mommy ?
OPIOIDS.
 Sun is shining everyone is gay. Its all lollys and fizzy drinks, but you your not happy ?
Opioids.
Questions about your sexulalty?
Opioids.
 Half black, half white, half indian, half English knight ?
Opioids.
 Cant figure out who you are ?
Opioids.
 Lost on whtch way to go ?
OPIOIDS.
 First world problems, oh boo whoo. For the anti hero ?
Opioids.
The flowers bleeds. Yet you dont know. They slit its throat.
 So you csn drive down the block waiting for someone to holler yo.

I just want to die holding your hand
 

 

 
Scared to death
No reason why
Do one another
To get me by
Think about the things I said
Read the page it's cold and dead

Offline Anti-hero (OP)

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Re: Opioids
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2017, 07:04:49 PM »
The pictures of my arm are from along time ago i didnt jusr do that its just the way i feel i want to molt like a crab i want to peal my skin off and become a new person please do not think that im cutting myself or have been I do not condone this action or any type of self harm
Scared to death
No reason why
Do one another
To get me by
Think about the things I said
Read the page it's cold and dead

Offline wanderingmind

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Re: Opioids
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2017, 12:46:00 AM »
The pictures of my arm are from along time ago i didnt jusr do that its just the way i feel i want to molt like a crab i want to peal my skin off and become a new person please do not think that im cutting myself or have been I do not condone this action or any type of self harm

I can relate.  I have been feeling especially down lately.  Hang in there.

Offline FlorAtive

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Re: Opioids
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2017, 02:34:07 PM »
Our inner God -
As I stand in front of the mirror,
With my reflection staring back at me,
Speaking ever so passionately,
Unable to tell a lie
It says to me, "you're going to die."
Without control of myself, this puppeteer flicking his wrists,
Causing this desire, this craving, no capacity to resist.
Even doubting his existence or approval, I reach for Him.
Useless it feels.
Panic sets in with disparity of every whim.
Chaotic, impetuous desires with no fruition of appeal.
What hope, what dope shall I get next.
It's calling for it, an irrepressible plea
That profound addiction shrilling me to feel vexed
Convulsed, indignant, disarranged
Am I my own God or does release come for me?

Thanks for sharing your post Anti-Hero. It was strong and pulled on my heart man.. I want to put what i'm feeling/thinking into words to you, but find myself unable to find what to say. Opiates have been an inspiration for me to write, one way or another. I never push my limits anymore (the possibility being referenced in my poem). I began booting a fent derivative over a year ago just because it was the most affordable opi to do anymore.. wtf.. I'm going through process to make my mind right and kick this. Somewhere around 6 weeks clean today with herbal attempts here and there, and without success. Still feel the need for some kind of stabilization. Damn your write was powerful. It's making me review much in myself. Once again, thank you for sharing.
You have one life to live. Live it to the fullest.

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