Time to admit it, i have a needle addiction.

[6-mam (OP)]

What can i do to curve this addiction? I got rid of all my freshies, that just made me use used ones. I clean them out and pick the sharp ones.

Why dont i get more fresh ones? I dont know.

Now im shooting god damm bupropion! Like telling myself" youre gunna have a seizure dude. It has its satisfying moments, just short lived.

I need to just throw them all away but its hard. I guess a random dumpster will do.

[Chip]

I know that one so well. hard to shake, only took me almost 40 years.

[wanderingmind]

Please don't throw the used needles in a random trash can.  I cannot imagine being a garbage man, getting stuck and worrying like crazy that the needle was "tainted."

I remember the good-ol-days when I too would shoot shit just to IV.  One of my first w/d's every few hours I would just IV sterile water.  Something about the whole ritual made the w/d more manageable.  Now, all of my good veins are gone and the few I have left are sacred ground for me.  I do not want to blow any more veins 

Oh, and you know you're a junkie/needle addict when you lust after other peoples bulging veins!  When I see a big roper, the first thought that pops into my head is, "Goddamn I want that vein!"

[nick]

The only cure for true needle fever is time,the time it takes to kill your veins-if you live that long.

[Anti-hero]

True what nick said.
And when you go to the hospital.
Be prepared to be in pain.
Last time they had to jab a needle
In my groin.
God damn that hurts.
I drink my dope now.
The last time I shot dope ( last week)
I had to use the jullger.

[6-mam (OP)]

You guys shouldn't assume as much.

Why would you think I'd throw single needles in the trash wander? Sharps containers are given away. If you saw my arms you'd hate me then.

I think I may have hardened my veins in spots, but beyond that it's only a few spots I used to often because I didn't have to tie with them. I'm still very early in my needle life but without heroin I don't shoot up as much. And 31 gauge needles help. Haven't had an absess yet, or cellulitis.  Only hit in my arms.

Probably going to just save it for drugs that truly need to be injected. On that note I am really jonesing for a nod. I have bupropion. Poor man's cocaine it is. Fucking gets you yacked. It's more coke like in that it makes me just worry about everything and paranoid. Grand male seizure doesn't sound like fun but it's all I've got and pretty down in life, so what are you gunna do?. It scratchespecially that itch for about 30 mins, then you're stimulated and want more. Weird stuff.

[gnossos]

Feelin' your pain man. Really, really feelin' it... I'll shoot anything I can turn into liquid. I'm notoriously bad about HR (something my husband helped me with in our brief time together, but now that he's gone... ehhh...). I realized once, looking at my tracks and old scars from knives and razor blades as an angsty, gothic teen - the needle is my "adult" version of "cutting myself." I get something more than just the dope when I shoot, it's also the thrill of the act, the ritual, the pain, the chance it could hurt me, in itself...


ESPECIALLY when I'm tweaked, (unfortunately all I can ever seem to find and I do it cause it's all I can put in my rig at the time), it's like I TRY AS HARD AS I CAN TO MAKE THE ACT OF IV'ing HURT ME. I've recognized it and cut down on it, like I said, my husband rid me of a lot of bad habits (like shooting with huge air bubbles and not giving a fuck, washing cottons repeatedly till the inevitable fever, etc.) [In my defense, I learned how to shoot from someone who told me not to worry about Hep C cause it was a "made up disease." 9_9]



The mind of a junkie is a fuckin sick, twisted place (no wonder we're always doin all we can to escape it). I'm just sharing my own personal observations and thoughts as a fellow needle-worshipper... I agree that eventually, your veins will just say "FUCK YOU," and you simply won't be able to hit anymore and will be forced to put it down at least long enough to heal a little.


I just try to distract myself as much as possible with mundane shit. Pick up a guitar? Something to busy your hands? Idk, that's what I TRY to do (rarely successful). Non-junkies have suggested using dabs as a replacement (I guess some of the equipment involved is called a "rig" or some such nonsense). Not really the same thing, but thaaaaanks...

[wanderingmind]

6-mam.  My post wasn't necessarily aimed at you as you never exactly said that you were going through them in Dumpster without a sharps container or breaking off the needles...it was more just a blanket-statement to anyone who happened upon this thread.  Sorry for assuming 

[Güey]

+1 for what gnossos said, about feeling your pain.

As for suggestions, I don't have a clue. I think once you start IV'ng, it's like opening Pandora's box. In addition to loving dope, I equally like IV'ng. The whole ritual... Even when I was on MMT, I'd inject that. Or water, just to scratch that itch.

Anyways, just be careful, would be my advice. Short of quitting completely, all you can really do is follow good HR advice.

Or stick to smoking it. You'll still get a nod. No rush, of course. But, that's some elusive shit to be chasing. And usually unsuccessful, in my experience. Stay safe....

[bonedust]

The only cure for true needle fever is time,the time it takes to kill your veins-if you live that long.

As for me, what has prompted my numerous attempts to quit shooting and get off dope is that for me this whole production has become a chore, a job that I dread. It's to the point that I wait as long as humanly possible to do my shots. After years of doing this and following good harm reduction my veins are all pretty much still good to go BUT you gotta get to that point of hating it more than looking forward to it.