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Author Topic: When addiction gets too much...  (Read 17555 times)

Offline tui (OP)

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When addiction gets too much...
« on: September 22, 2016, 06:11:18 PM »

Howdy to all my old friends and hello to those of you I haven't met yet, it has been awhile.

I stumbled across this website yesterday, it's called 129 a day. My god it made me so sad, seeing how this fucking crazy war on drug users is destroying so many lives. Apparently 129 people die from OD every day in the US alone. Woah. It was hard even typing that. I know we all know so many people who have been lost to this disease. 

Here's a link to that website if you're interested: http://www.129aday.org/

Anyway, I am ranting now because this really touched my heart. I know what it's like to feel like there is no way out and to be stuck in a cycle of despair and craving. I don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't heard about ibogaine and had the support to receive the treatment. I had already tried quitting every which way the medical professionals recommended, but the cravings were overpowering and I'd manage to hold out for a bit and then fail miserably and the whole cycle would begin again. You probably know the drill.

I was treated with ibogaine 2.5 years ago and it was a miracle for me. I didn't have to struggle with a painful detox, crazy brain chemistry lows or cravings. I think it's criminal that more people don't have info and access to this treatment and so many are suffering needlessly.

So I just wanted to put it out there that if anyone is feeling trapped and ready to be free from drugs, there is hope!

If you want to talk with me in person I am happy to skype with you and share my experiences and answer any qs you may have.

Peace and love to all you beautiful junkies!
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Offline Snoop

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2016, 10:40:52 AM »
TUI!!!

No bullshit, I was just wondering about you this VERY morning as I counted down the hours until my MMT clinic opened up.

I was pondering Ibogain firstly.... then I recalled that YOU used Ibo w/ spectacular success.

Evidence of its/your success, was that I was thinking....

"Been soooo long since I've heard from Tui.... I wonder if the Ibo still carried over into a great life free of addiction and ALL that comes with it."

And here you are....

Speaking out about your success and experience.

That's so fuckin RAD!

I'm so happy for you.... sincere.

I've been pondering leaving this shit behind now that I have a little girl on the way. Even more so than before.

Which was a lot.

I wonder if being so close to Mexico, if I could truly conceivably FIND an Ibogaine Treatment Center?

I've reduced from 120mg to 90mg over a 6 mo.period.

I want to continue my descent..... but my life has become SO MUCH MORE demanding with little ones.

I just hate to think of chasing babies around in a perpetual kick, losing my shit and locking myself in the bathroom for hrs. consecutive, trying to do an honest to God MD taper.

Should have stayed away from it all, especially after my last time I got "clean".

Anyway..... so good and serendipitous hearing from you

I hope you're kicking ass and chewing bubble gum homegirl. Glad to hear that you're well.

You take good care... hope to hear back sometime soon.

Late

-G
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Offline Dhedmo

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2016, 04:46:59 PM »
Tui!

Great to see you post.
Also, thanks for sharing your ibogaine story. Any side effects?

I remember people talking about it and thinking it may be too good to be true. So glad it worked for you.

I did a stretch taper to get off done 18 mos ago, and use low doses of hydro/lidocaine. Sometimes not enough, but it's nice to almost forget my refill appointment rather than counting the minutes for a week.

Congrats, and stay well!
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Offline tui (OP)

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2016, 01:22:02 AM »
Snoop!

You have another baby on the way?! Wow! That is very cool.

My experience with ibogaine was just amazing. And I feel like it helped me heal in such a deep and profound way. It healed on all levels - physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. Life is magical and full of meaning now and I never had that before. Yeah. It's beyond words really.

So still no cravings or thoughts of "yeah that'd be nice...".

It's such a gift to feel free without the spectre of relapse hovering.

There will def be a treatment centre for you in Mexico. That is the way!

I would love to see you be free from the struggle of slow reduction. I don't know how people do it.

Big love for you my brother <3


Dhedmo!

Hello hello :-)

So good to see your name on my screen. And so good to hear you have found a smooth balance and opiates aren't running the show!

Side effects: Hard to sleep for the first 2 weeks. I had to smoke a lot of ganja, which I don't usually do. That helped hugely. Also the feeling of wearing a concrete suit. Slow moving and pretty exhausted for the first week or so.  I had some mild nausea for the first few days which is unusual, they think it is from the chemicals in the AA we use here in NZ. It was a dream compared to every other kick I'd suffered through. Especially from methadone, my god that's usually the most horrific and long-lasting kick.

Thanks for saying hello. Take care old friend. <3 
« Last Edit: September 24, 2016, 01:32:56 AM by tui »
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Offline Thoms

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2016, 03:23:33 AM »
Hi tui, we never talked but I know a little of your story. I've got a friend who wants to give ibo a shot, he might use ten to 15 norcos a day so his habit is smallish. What kinda tolly do you think is fairing for this treatment t
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Fear and self loathing in thoms.

Offline tui (OP)

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2016, 10:39:08 PM »

Hey Thoms! I remember you! :)

Sounds like your friend would be just fine. Tolly does not seem to be much of an issue with ibogaine. According to my understanding, people can jump from high doses and there is not much point tapering down. But the treatment provider would go over all of that. However there are certain meds that inhibit it. These need to be stopped weeks in advance.

Hope all is well in your world.

Take care, Tui  :)
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Offline Snoop

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2016, 11:06:06 PM »
Yup, chica...

We just found out were having a little girl.

Me with my little princess, daddy's little girl
Who knew?

I can't even imagine how profound the experience was like... some experiences are so personal and complete that they transcend mere words.

They fall so utterly short.

Maybe I owe it to ME to give it an honest looking into.
Research options... not sure of the legality. Or if it would even raise issue?

But got me thinking


That's for sure.
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Offline Guts

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2016, 01:33:26 PM »
Did you enjoy the actual high/trip itself? The best way I can describe it is it felt like a deliriant to me... like a diphenhydramine trip. I would've rather been in withdrawal by the end of it lol!

Still, even though I was not successful on quitting using ibogaine, I would definitely try it again. In fact, if I was ever serious about quitting again, ibogaine is the way I would ago. It definitely has something to it... I wish my experience was like yours though!

Does the place in Mexico you went to have the word "dream" in its name?
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Offline tui (OP)

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2016, 11:45:07 PM »

Aw a little Snoopy girl pup. Too cute!

No legalities to worry about in Mexico - tis my understanding it is legal there! Well worth an exploration... transformation... liberation...

Yeah!

:-)
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Offline tui (OP)

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2016, 11:59:14 PM »
Heya Guts,

I would not say I enjoyed it. But it was def the medicine I needed. Magic and amazing and life-changing. It was a gazillion times better than W/D for me. No contest. I would like to experience it again sometime, simply for the deep insights it brings.

I didn't go to Mexico, so not sure of the spot you're referring to...

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Offline Chip

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2016, 01:31:15 AM »
Hi Tui, seeing your handle pop up brought me joy.

I'm glad that you have the strength and respect to still come back and talk to us.

I am personally VERY happy that you escaped from the grip of addiction and have manged to build a new life for yourself, it's always the right thing to do for people that struggled with it like you did.

I am almost through my final Methadone taper but that's another story.

I am very weary of hallucinogens as i have had quite a few trips in my life and even though they opened me up to different worlds, i found them of little practical use, with limited applications and required too much work to organise the right people and the safest settings. On top of that, i never really felt comfortable on them so i don't seek them out anymore.

I imagine your own experience was confronting and not particularly enjoyable at the time.

I have 7 basic questions for you:

1. Where did you get treated ?
2. How much did it cost you ?
3. How long was the experience/trip ?
4. Were you medically supervised ?
5. Was it legal ?
6. If it got "all too much for you" did they offer to give you Diazepam to stop the "trip" (or whatever) ?
7. Why do you think it worked for you and not others ?

Sorry to pry but i'd imagine that people living close to NZ could benefit from those details, not to mention the guys here, too.
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I do not condone or support any illegal activities. All information is for theoretical discussion and wonder.
All activities discussed are considered fictional and hypothetical. Information of all discussion has been derived from online research and in the spirit of personal Freedom.

Offline tui (OP)

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #11 on: October 01, 2016, 07:14:29 AM »
Hello Chipper!

To be honest I had always felt the same way about hallucinogens before iboga. So I was super nervous going in. Nervous but desperate enough to give it a go.

Thank you for your questions, I will attempt to answer them...

1. Where did you get treated ?

Australia

2. How much did it cost you ?

About 5k including accommodation & flights

3. How long was the experience/trip ?

About 12 hours

4. Were you medically supervised ?

No. But someone cared for me and watched over me at all times.

5. Was it legal ?

No (and the fact it is illegal is what is truly f*king criminal)

6. If it got "all too much for you" did they offer to give you Diazepam to stop the "trip" (or whatever) ?

No. I didn't discuss anything like this with the provider. His advice, which was very wise and helped a lot, was if things got hard not to resist but to be open to it all.

7. Why do you think it worked for you and not others ?

I think it was because I had gotten to a point where I hated being an addict, I had tried to quit many other ways and I was willing to do whatever it took.

I had amazing support. The man who treated me was so kind and wise, my family's love and support was really important and I had an excellent therapist who has helped others post iboga. I also attended a Buddhist recovery group, discovered meditation and started really working on myself. I say "working", but it has not been a chore. It is a gift to feel genuinely happy and content in a way that heroin could never give me.

I started being kind to myself, after many years of self hatred and abuse. This included doing exercise I enjoyed, eating healthy nourishing food, listening to music that made me feel good, just simple little things. I intentionally cultivated new interests, started learning new things, made new friends. I changed my life.

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Offline thetalkingasshole

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2016, 09:57:24 AM »
So glad you made it here!
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As I grew up, I opened my eyes and saw the real world, and I began to laugh, and I haven't stopped since

Offline EMC

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2016, 11:07:41 AM »
Oh wow, good to see you here. We didn't interact a ton on the phile, but I had lurked for ages before even signing up so I was familiar with you. I totally remember your story with ibogaine, and your continued sobriety. I'm happy to hear you're still clean.
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Offline tui (OP)

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Re: When addiction gets too much...
« Reply #14 on: October 02, 2016, 12:07:54 AM »

Thanks TTA & EMC!

I will prob not be sticking around here as drug talk isn't my thing these days. But it is so cool to see you guys and other old friends pop up on my screen. The forums were super helpful for me during my addiction, it's amazing how deeply you can connect with people online. So good to see the community is still going strong.

X
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