Getting ready to quit kratom with these meds.

[StM34081 (OP)]

I have been using kratom for about 3 or 4 years. I have been using it daily, many many times a day for around a year. I have never tried lope at all. I do plan on getting some today though so ill let you know what percentage I fall under.   
I do smoke weed. Every day when I can, but when kratom takes up 95%  of your life and money, weed stops being at hand like I would like. Like right now I'm pretty broke ,but if I had $10 I would go spend it on kratom or pills and smoking weed would go out the window.

[StM34081 (OP)]

Side note,,,, while I was sleeping this morning my wife got on here and read everything I have written.. It shouldnt have been a big deal because I tell her everything anyways and she is right in the middle of this with me, but with most non-addicted people, she doesnt understand and acted like I was such a horrible person for writting what I have on here. I'm the bad guy. I'm apiece of shit and worthless for trying to find help and support on here. Then, as a non-addicted, non- medical professional she preceded to tell me what I need to do and how I need to go about getting help... Figures..  of course a methadone clinic and sub doctor are completely out of the question to her because "you will still be addicted to something". What she and most people dont understand is majority of people are addicted to Something!! Ciggs, caffeine, antidepressants, ect. It's just that subs or dones or whatnot has a stigma attached to it so therefore I cant take advantage of that type of help, even if a life long doctor of medicine says thats the route I should go..  huh! Figures..  fml

[Chip]

Tell her that this is not only good therapy for you by consulting and sharing but also that you need to connect with people like you who don't condemn you -- after all, you need sites like this to help you find tools to not only use safely but to find ways of helping you come off drugs too.

If she wants to make a post about how she feels then maybe we can enlighten her.

She needs to understand how isolated us people with dependencies are and love alone isn't going to fix it.

This is your way of moving through the addiction phase until you've had enough and then we can try to help you become drug free too.

[DiacetylKineval]

Its 'proceeded' and dude im only 25 and even i know these are pitiful excuses. you ought to understand theres a level of empathy of the thought processes of an ignorant you have to have.

Id prefer an addict chick if i didnt already know that can be just aa heartbreaking. But geez, arent you self aware?

[Chip]

StM34081, I wrote a fairly lengthy PM to your lady telling her what it means to not only be like us but to cut you some slack and to focus on the person's true worth.

I did my absolute best to make her understand you.

I hope she takes it in and that your relationship and self-worth will both improve.

Let me know how it is received please.

Drugs don't make us bad people they just hijack our minds and desires with relentless thoughts of them, not to mention the physical demands that opiates enforce.

She doesn't understand the need we have to bond with others just like us where we can provide support, help advise and feel less helpless and/or lonely in our chemical cages.

[StM34081 (OP)]

Quick update before I possibly end my membership to this forum.  :/
So 2 days ago, I woke up and shortly after was my 24 hour mark since last dose of kratom or any other opiates.  Physical withdrawals were not too bad at all. Fatigue and lethargy were not too bad either which is usually what xrives me nuts. I even cleaned my apartment a little bit and did a few things that needed to be done. Made it until about 6pm (28hours since anything) and ended up running into my local headshop and buying a $7 pack of kratom. It was six 500mg capsules of plain leaf (so they say). Its Matrix brand. Thats the only brand I will buy from a headshop. It is way better than any other brand by far and always seems fresh. It's still not as good and WAY more expensive than good online vendors but I have never been let down by it. The small amount gave me a nice little bit of relief for the rest of the night up until about 5am.  After I got home from the headshop, my wife came home with about 3 grams of some fire medical weed and a handful of 5 hour energy shots that was given to us by a family member. It made for a nice night! The following day which was yesterday was NOT so easy. WithdrawalI feelings were much worse! Back soreness and fatigue was almost crippling. After spending the day on the couch miserable, at about 4oclock I went to the store to get some loperamide and try for the first time. The little gel tab pills said Anti-Diarea really big on the box so I felt pretty weird about taking just that to the cashier. I already felt like I looked like complete shit and everyone was looking at me and knew something was wrong with me. Anyways, they had a bottle of liquid lope and it was cheaper and did not have a large embarrassing title on the front so I went with that. I got out to my car and looked at the back. It was 1mg for every 7.5 ml. It was 120ml bottle...
Did the math on the calculator on my phone..  16mg of lope!!!!!  The entire fucking bottle was only 16mg!!!!  FuckkkI!!!  I was extremely upset. I couldn't believe I didnt check more thoroughly before buying. So I drank the entire bottle like an energy shot. Tipped it up and knocked it back.... Super gross!!  Long story short, it did absolutely nothing for withdrawals. I almost felt like it made them slightly worse. Also gave me weird cramping pains in my stomach every so ofter. I know that it was probably not nearly enough for eliminating withdrawals so I havent completely ruled lope out as being useless for me but the bottle of liquid sure is. Also, I shit just fine this morning after I got up so atleast it xidnt fuck me up as far as that goes. Point of this post...dont buy liquid lope unless you want to drink a whole shit load of it...in which you will need multiple bottles.

[Dopeless Hopefiend]

From what I've gathered the liquid and gel tabs are not the ones to buy. Especially the gel tabs, those can fuck your stomach up good. Go with the little caplets. Walmart & Kroger both have bottles of 72 2mg tabs for like 3 bucks. Hope you get some relief.

[StM34081 (OP)]

Hey guys. Quick update. I'm not good at quitting..  lol!  After the failed attempt at loperamide helping (failed because I got the wrong kind) I jumped back on the K train. I got a few ounces of GMD. I have been able to keep my intake WAY lower than my usual. Im gonna continue to try and keep lowering it slowly until it's gone. I made a doctors appointment today for Sep. 20th. The doctor I chose is an addiction doctor. Hes a regular family dr. too but he specializes in addiction and suboxone treatment. I'm not going to get on subs though. I'm hoping I can get some lyrica (heard its better than gabapentin), clonadine, and possibly an antidepressant or mood stabilizer. Those are all very light meds that I shouldnt have a problem getting. Does anyone have any suggestions or experience with any meds that may help? Thanks alot for everything so far and the great support I have been getting! 

[Chip]

Take note that Lyrica feels unpleasant and I believe it to be very addictive if you rely on it for too long.

If it were me then I'd start on a tiny dose of Bupe and quickly step down. Yeah, that's my best suggestion ... it could be over within a couple of weeks and with minimal discomfort as long as you don't fall into the maintenance trap.

[StM34081 (OP)]

Im still here...  Had a little kratom yesterday morning. Nothing since then. The physical withdrawals are not bad at all. Just an achy lower back. Very lethargic tho. I hate that, especially since I have add. I hate to sit still and not do anything or watch tv. I always want to be moving around so having no energy to move sucks! The worst is the mental withdrawals. The bad cravings and feeling of eminent doom. No hope. I transitioned to kratom from 2 - 3 lbs of fire poppy seeds a day so I'm sure that plays a big part of my withdrawalI from Kratom. Anyways..  I got some loperamide, the right kind this time. The little pills. I took 60mg this morning. It definitely helped. But only helped my aches and pains. I still had no energy and depression and cravings were still strong.

[Opi-ette]

Lyrica has saved my ass countless times. I also love how it feels but I agree with Chipper on the addictive nature of the drug. And tolerance builds like a speeding train so I take breaks from it. I've been able to stay on it for appx 2 years with no wd when stopping.

Its not for everyone, some people prefer Gabapentin over Lyrica (Pregablin). I've never tried Gabapentin so I can't comment on the differences.

I'm glad you got some relief from the Lope. It doesn't fix everything but it sure helps a lot. Hang in there and keep us posted.

PS: I hope this isn't true: Quick update before I possibly end my membership to this forum.  :/

[StM34081 (OP)]

@Opi-ette  , im staying on here for now. Hopefully thT doesnt change. I ended up acquiring a good amount of gaba's 600s. They helped as well but nothing helps the cravings, what I really want to fill that void.. I might end up with a bag of Kratom later today, if not then definitely Sunday when I get paid. But once its illegal I really dont want to go back to opiates.. Hopefully I can get something worked out with my doctor to help with that. I never really have a problem with getting addicted to gabapentin because my tolerance goes up so fast so after about 3 or 4 days they become useless and/or I run out because I take more and more each day.

[Opi-ette]

@StM34081 Yes I understand. The mental can be far worse than the physical. Which turns in to crazy cravings. Usually the first few days, I'm so consumed with the physical WD that only when that starts easing up that my mind goes there obsessing over it. Its a horrible catch 22 isn't it?

What do you have in mind to ask your Doc for?

[StM34081 (OP)]

I really dont know what to ask my doc for. I was thinking lyrica or gaba and an antidepressant or mood stabilizer and clonadine (catapress) but I think im gonna scratch the clonadine and lyrica since my physical withdrawals are not bad. I can tough that out. I need to get something to help my mind more than anything and my constant fatigue. I would really like to be put on adderall or something of the sort. I was when I was younger. I think that my add is the main problem and thats why I self medicate with opies to dull, or slow my racing obsessive mind. I just need the correct meds to deal with thT and then I think that will really help with craving opies or crazy high doses of kratom. But of course the docs know I'm an addict so it's a real struggle to get anything thats a narcotic or has abuse potential. Its fucking stupid. I go in there and tell them I bave add and ocd and I bave been self medicating with kratom and they usually give me fucking prozac or hydroxyzine or zoloft... Wtf!!   

[StM34081 (OP)]

So I guess if they wont give me what I need, (add/ocd meds) then its gonna have to be antidepressants and or mood stabilizers and ill just become a zombie that will still want and crave something else..