Father refuses to eat and I'm running out of options ...

[Chip (OP)]

... does anybody have any ideas about how I can get my father to eat ?

He is 93 y/o and weighs 51 kg.

any help would be greatly appreciated (wish I could get him to smoke pot but that's not possible as he is in hospital.

[Flutterby]

Edibles? Maybe someone else with more knowledge could help more, its just the first thing I thought of.

[Chip (OP)]

Edibles are not available here unfortunately.

I am currently looking at Megestrol Acetate which is a steroidal appetite stimulant (just found this now via Google).

[Zoops]

Have you tried enticing him with his favorite foods?

That would probably work for me, but hey what do I know?

[Chip (OP)]

He is still in hospital and we can't serve him that and he was refusing ALL sorts of food prior to coming in but when he gets out then mom will try that again, I am sure.

Truth be known, I think he is intentionally starving himself to death OR it's a response to his depression.

Thanks for trying.

[Opi-ette]

Do you have Ensure where you are? Its a drink that tastes like chocolate milk (or vanilla if he prefers) and its filled with calories and nutrients, vitamins etc. Its specifically made for the elderly or people that have had surgery on their mouth that can't eat etc.

[Chip (OP)]

Yes and your suggestion is in play already as the hospital is providing Ensure Two Cal.

He doesn't always drink it but I will try my absolute best to make him finish it despite his complaints about throwing up, full stomach etc.

Getting him home is now top priority - that may give him a new lease on life. Fingers crossed.

[dansteely]

Sorry to see youre in such a tough spot. God bless you and your family.

[nikita70]

Edibles? Maybe someone else with more knowledge could help more, its just the first thing I thought of.

So I did. Without even to know exactly/being sure what "edibles" means. Until I have googled it and my suppositions got confirmed.
Maybe is there some kind of cannabis oil available where you live? You also could prepare some sort of "edibles" by your own, couldn't you?

Sorry, if I have mistook something and talk nonsenses.
As you said, the priority is to take your Father home, as soon as possible @chipper  .

[Anti-hero]

They won't give him IV food
In the stated they do.  That's fucked up becuse if he was in gautamo bay our "prisoner of war camp"
They would force feed him
I also think @chipper that's what he may be trying to so sorry to hear that.
And if you could get some cannabis
There are videos of how to make dab
And it would be easy to cook that up or even just feed him that
It would make him hungry and settle his stomach

[candy]

I'm so sorry Chipper.

I know this is a bit extreme, but you could tell him that you will have a feeding tube forced
down if he won't eat. It's just put through the nose, through the esophagus and into the stomach. Not that
I am encouraging that, but maybe explaining how it is done will get him to eat.
Something we did when I worked as a bedside nurse.

What are the doctors saying about this? I guess Ensure is their option, but losing so much weight is not going help his rehab along.
Is your dad on antidepressants of any kind? In the elderly they can build up and be more harmful than good.
Maybe something for anxiety might help.
Getting him home would be great. Will they allow you to bring in any foods from home?
That might have already been touched on, but something from home can be more appetizing than hospital food or Ensure drinks.

[LoneRanger7]

Chipper, I'm so sorry.  My Dad died when I was 15. He had throat cancer and lost a lot of weight really fast because eating hurt.  Ensure kept him alive (barely)  for a while but it wasn't the greatest tasting thing.  Could you make his ensure into milkshakes or something to make it more appetizing? Or use it as milk powder and bake into cookies or other foods he likes to up the calorie count?

[Chip (OP)]

He has now left the hospital and gone back to live with mom. She says that she has been feeding him but he lost his lower dentures so she has to run his food through a blender.

After 3 weeks of near daily hospital visits, I am leaving this in her hands unless I am asked to come and help.

We did discuss forced feeding but I thought it was too severe. Thanks for all your help but I think he has started eating a bit.

[Chip (OP)]

Dad is only eating miniscule amounts and has chosen death by starvation as euthanasia is illegal and this is the only soft way to go.

Terribly heart-wrenching but it is his wish and we are doing all that we can to keep him at home, as per his wishes.

Hospitalisation is the worst-case scenario as his dementia progresses.

It is what it is and despite the conflicting emotions, we keep him surrounded by family.

We all secretly hope he gets taken in his sleep so as not to suffer ... all funeral arrangements have been prepared.

I wanted to share this with you because documenting it takes away some of the pain and it is something that many of us either have or will go through.

I have two full bottles of Methadone (300+ mg) that I would gladly let him drink but I do not want to get locked up over this but I think about it every day.

Fuck the drug laws, fuck the euthanasia laws !

[Lolleedee]

Sorry for all that you and your family are going through.  Here is a link that you might find helpful.

https://www.crossroadshospice.com/healthcare-professionals-resources/palliative-care-blog/2014/july/20/why-it-s-ok-for-your-loved-one-to-stop-eating-and-drinking-on-hospice/

I know your Dad isn't on hospice, but i think it applies here.  It is very natural (though disturbing for us loved ones) for those who are elderly, sick and close to death to refuse food and fluids.  Usually, this refusal is an attempt for them to be comfortable.  Forcing food and fluids can be very uncomfortable for someone who is in the process of dying.

I just gave the link as information.  Whatever you choose to do has to be right for your family.  I just wanted to give the information.  When my husband's father was dying, he eventually refused food and fluid and while I am sure it hastened his death, he was much more comfortable and being he was still able to communicate, we knew he felt better when food and fluids were stopped (to clarify, his feeding tube was removed and his iv was removed...he would still accept a small sip of water here and there...mostly to wash down the liquid morphine)

I'm sorry for what you are going through.  Losing loved ones is the most painful part of being human!