Telling my boss about treatment

[LadyH (OP)]

So, I just had an assessment today and I'm going back to treatment. inpatient. But first I have to go to detox at the hospital. And there's only one place that will let you just detox at their place with suboxone and then go on to treatment some place else. The other detoxes don't let you have subs. How fucked up is that? So anyway I have to call the hospital every day and ask if they have an opening in detox. And that's the only way to get in. I know there's a bit of a waiting list for the inpatient place I'm going to. Maybe 2 weeks or so. And I'm on the list now. I just need the detox stay to line up with getting into treatment. So, when and what do I say to my boss. One of my managers already knows.I work at a small, green dry cleaners. We don't have many employees and need more people as it is. What have you guys said to your jobs when going to treatment? Thank you for the advice in advance.

[sk8phaze]

Just tell them your having medical treatment for an unknown condition? Thats a tough answer to come up with. In my life, many times honesty is not the best policy when it comes to opiates. Theres a bias. Well, you work with these people daily. Are they nice enough for you to tell them the truth? Or are the tightwads that might not take it very well? It's up to you. Glad your getting treatment. Stay strong.

[Wildcat]

Just tell them you are having some medical issues being addressed.  No need to share details. I am sure you could be provided with a letter stating "your name" is under my care and unable to work until medically cleared-something like that.

Good luck and hope all goes well for you.

; )

[Z]

In principle you can probably tell them and be fine, but in practice you need to be very very careful.  They might fire you for it in some states.  They might hold it against you, and look for a reason to fire you in others where they are more restricted.  In general if a job is looking for a reason to fire you they will be able to find a silly one.  You might get a reputation as a drug addict, and it will follow you around.  I opened up to one of my bosses about my history and treatment, and he treated me differently from that day onwards.


Even saying it's a medical emergency can lead to questions that you don't want to answer.  It is probably the safest way.  I would probably try to think of an emergency that required that I take my vacation suddenly.  For me I might use a child's injury since it doesn't reflect on me as much and is totally understandable.


When you come back you should be careful and attentive to the atmosphere and people's attitudes towards you.  You might end up being smart to put in some resumes in other places just to be sure and safe.


Kick ass in the detox and rehab!  You get out what you put in, so go in and kick some fucking ass!  You can do it!

[LadyH (OP)]

Thanks for all your advice guys. So, I told my other manager (the head manager for my store). It's just me, a weekend person, the head manager and a detailing manager at my store. I was afraid I would have to talk to the vice president of the company but after talking to the head manager today I don't think I'll have to. Phew! She said that my health comes first and that since I'll be gone for a month that they will have to find someone to replace meme. She also said that if there are positions open when I get out I can apply to those. So I think everything's gonna be OK. Phew! Now I'm on the waiting list for inpatient. I have my phone interview on Tuesday. I really love this treatment center. My best friend/on again off again bf just graduated from their men's inpatient and is in a halfway horse now. This place is not 12 step based, it's trauma bard. They even have EMDR (which I recommend you guys look up cause it's awesome and I can't wait to try it). there's only 8 beds in the women's inpatient so it's very individualized treatment. I just have to coordinate my detox so I go into detox and when I come out go straight to inpatient. I wish they did detoxing at this inpatient. I've done inpatient 4 times and outpatient like 4 times and dotoxed myself and been on subs and been in sober housing before. I do really well in inpatient but it's the coming out of inpatient that gets me. I've been a heroin user for 8 years. The longest I've stayed sober is the 6 months I was in jail. I've done drug court too and when I was in that I got to 2 and a half months several times but would slip for a day or 2.  I'm doing this for me now. I plan on doing what my best friend/bf did which is taper off subs and get on vivitrol pills. He's doing really well with that. Well I gotta go finish working. Talk to you guys soon!!!

[Narkotikon]

I'm glad the work situation got resolved to your liking.

I've never heard of EMDR before. I googled it and read about it for a few minutes. It seems interesting. I hope it works well for you.

I realize EMDR won't be the sole component of your inpatient treatment. But since you seem so excited about it, how will you continue the EMDR once you're out of inpatient?

From what I can tell, it's a therapeutic approach that encompasses eight distinct stages. And each stage can last several sessions, depending on the patient.

I'm sure you realize that you can't complete, or even possibly get half-way through, EMDR therapy during one month of inpatient.

I'm just concerned how you'll be able to continue this therapy once you get out, if you'll want to continue at all. You might find that you don't like it. Who knows?

However it goes, and whatever you do, best of luck with all this. It's horrible that you have almost no options for a decent detox, and no options for an inpatient place that does medically-assisted detoxes.

Substance Abuse treatment in a large portion of the US is paltry, if it exists at all.

And I don't consider alternative, "pray it away," forced clothes sorting à la The Salvation Army, drug-dry abstinence, or other odd philosophies, real detox, rehab, or treatment.

Logical, reasonable, science-based, proven treatment or go home.

[Sand and Water]

If i read what your manager said to you wrong, sincere apologies. It reads to me like you got told since you have to be gone for a month, they're going to reliance you?  Dies anyone here know if her situation could be covered under FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act)?  That holds your job for 6-8 weeks doesn't it?  Sorry to all if Im confusing this with small business etc.

Not saying you want to start a "job battle" cuz i understand your first priority isn't the job. Was just wondering if this might protect you as its federal law. Either way, it's great to hear you like the place & how they approach things. Best of luck!

[dizzle]

I'm not trying to shine a bad light on your discussion because it sounds like you took it fairly well, BUT:


they're basically accepting this as your resignation:

I mean, he said "since you'll be gone for a month we'll have to replace you and you can apply for any jobs that may be open when you come back"


I'm just saying, if you have any vacation, sick days or whatever, use it now.

Not trying to be a negative nancy, but I've been in that place before, and trust me, if they're saying that, chances are if there's no "NEW" position when you come back (since you said it was just you, the manager, and a part-timer) you're not going to have a job when you get out. I mean, in order for that to happen they'll either have to create a new position, or one of the people currently working there fucks up and you get their spot. Sorry....

[DeadCat]

Like Dizzle, I am little confused about where things stand now. It SOUNDS (from what you wrote) that they are saying "if there's a job opn when ou get back, you can apply" which sounds to m like you are out of a job.

FWIW; If it weere me I'd have left it at: I'v been wait-listed for a medical procedure for some time now and when it happens it will take 6 (whatever) weeks before I can work. But, when it is over it will be over and I'll be ready to return at 100% probably better than I am now. Knowing WHY you need medical care is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

Also, it is my understanding that in mst states if you come to your employer seeking help for substance abuse you can't be fired for it. Inpractice this may not count for much becausause if they have a bias against "junkies" they willl just find anothr reason to fire you.

WHat I would do if possible is find a friend who needs work and ask if s/he would be willing to fill in for you while you are gone and bring them to the manager and introduce them. "This is my friend X s/he is a student takinga semester off and would be avaialble to fill in for me whil I am in the hospital and not epect to stay on when I return. I think you will like him/her and can vouch for them." 

Doing that means they don't have to go to  atemp agency (and pay 150% of what the temp employee is paid) or interview people wh want to keep the job and will have a recommended person doing your work while you are gone.

If, when you are ready to return and you friend wants the job s/he can ASK but it would be a back-stabbing move by both him or her and your employers to reneg on a pre-arranged end date that costs you your job.

In short: find your own replacement, one you can count on to be able to do the work but not want to reamin there if it costs you your job.

I hope that strategy makes sense the way I wrote it. If not let me know.

[makita]

From http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/fmla-faqs.htm:

(Q) What does the Family and Medical leave act provide?

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides eligible employees up to 12 workweeks of unpaid leave a year, and requires group health benefits to be maintained during the leave as if employees continued to work instead of taking leave. Employees are also entitled to return to their same or an equivalent job at the end of their FMLA leave.

I agree that it sounds like they are just accepting your resignation, and saying you could "apply" if there is a job opening when you come back is not even close to a guarantee you would get the job again if they DID have an opening.  If they are taking this as your resignation you could lose your health insurance as well, so I would definitely get a clear answer whether they are complying with this law which continues your insurance and benefits during the leave, and makes sure you have the same or equivalent job to come back to.  And it's actually 12 weeks, not 6.  The wording is something like, if you have any serious medical condition that will impact your ability to work, then the FMLA applies during your treatment.

I dunno where you live but in this economy they should have NO PROBLEM finding a temp person to work for just the time you are gone.  Even if you don't have a friend you can present to them as one person suggested. 

I don't see why this should be any kind of battle with them.   It's not even a new law: its been in place for 13 years.  Mom and Pop or not, unless they are totally shady, they should be familiar with it: if they are at all shady they may be banking on your ignorance of it and/or your shame around your addiction and treatment to get out of complying...because unless you specify that you're expecting to come back to a job they could easily just act like resigning was your idea.

[DeadCat]

Like Dizzle, I am little confused about where things stand now. It SOUNDS (from what you wrote) that they are saying "if there's a job opn when ou get back, you can apply" which sounds to m like you are out of a job.

FWIW; If it weere me I'd have left it at: I'v been wait-listed for a medical procedure for some time now and when it happens it will take 6 (whatever) weeks before I can work. But, when it is over it will be over and I'll be ready to return at 100% probably better than I am now. Knowing WHY you need medical care is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

Also, it is my understanding that in mst states if you come to your employer seeking help for substance abuse you can't be fired for it. Inpractice this may not count for much becausause if they have a bias against "junkies" they willl just find anothr reason to fire you.

WHat I would do if possible is find a friend who needs work and ask if s/he would be willing to fill in for you while you are gone and bring them to the manager and introduce them. "This is my friend X s/he is a student takinga semester off and would be avaialble to fill in for me whil I am in the hospital and not epect to stay on when I return. I think you will like him/her and can vouch for them." 

Doing that means they don't have to go to  atemp agency (and pay 150% of what the temp employee is paid) or interview people wh want to keep the job and will have a recommended person doing your work while you are gone.

If, when you are ready to return and you friend wants the job s/he can ASK but it would be a back-stabbing move by both him or her and your employers to reneg on a pre-arranged end date that costs you your job.

In short: find your own replacement, one you can count on to be able to do the work but not want to reamin there if it costs you your job.

I hope that strategy makes sense the way I wrote it. If not let me know.

[Z]

Fwiw I read it the same way.  I would talk to your boss and make sure that you both understood the conversation the same way.  Be ready with what Makita talked about re: unpaid medical leave.  It could even be useful to print it out just in case the convo heads in a direction that makes it necessary.  Just protect yourself, and make it clear that you are trying to find the best solution for both your work and themselves.


You don't need any extra stress when you get out of rehab, and trying to figure out work and possibly housing is an enormous, gigantic, kardashian-ass-sized stressor.  Make sure that you settle it before you go and not after!!1!


Bringing in a replacement is an interesting arrangement.  If the employer needs employees then it provides a chance to train someone and evaluate their work.  Cool idea!