"Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."

[makita]

I mean I think the secret is to find someone with the perspective and critical thinking skills to examine "what we know" (ie drug war propaganda) for all drugs, not only the ones they themselves do/have done.  Fortunately that seems to be rising among younger people. 

The first part of that is to have done that work yourself, so when you're explaining it to them that there really is no meaningful difference between the drug your Dr gave you on Thursday and the same exact drug you buy from your friend next Friday, you have the strength of your convictions.  For me that means not putting up with someone else's projections and hysteria, and making them understand that that shit is a thinking/feeling problem on their end, not a behavior problem on mine, and I wont lie about it because to me that's like agreeing that its my problem and complicates the issue for them with issues of betrayal, etc. (although I will omit information if we BOTH agree that's better for both of us, sort of like a dont ask, dont tell open relationship agreement).

But I get its more complicated if you're already in a relationship with someone. 

TTA: congrats on the Nilla wafer experience (yum, it's been awhile).  Glad she sees you as the victim in this whole drug war game, hope it stays that way. 

[Z]

I'm really happy for you man.  Finding someone who is understanding of your situation is hard, but so rewarding.  congrats on the tasty lunch too.  Maybe you will get dessert soon!

[thetalkingasshole (OP)]

So you getting morphine scripted now or did you just tell her that?  There are a lot of people that think getting pills scripted is completely 100% fine but if you buy them off the street then its the end of the world.  When you say "your dealer" is this person truly a dealer or just a person that gets a morphine script?

My fiancé used to freak the fuck out when I bought pills from the street even though I was scripted the same drug as well.  I used to get 15mg oxycodone IR pills every month and I would run out the last 3-4 days every month... well someone I knew got a similar script so I would buy 8-10 every month to hold me over.  I lied about it because telling the truth to my fiancé caused more problems than it was worth... even though I was scripted the exact same pills.  The last 3-4 days of the month it was like I was kicking the shit out of her dog every day or something.

There's a stigma about being a "pill head" even though I was with her for 6 years prior and never took pills and only started after a car accident left me injured.  I can't even imagine what it would be like if I was telling someone new...

I would say he is definitely a dealer
in that he AND his whole family go to the same doc the same day
for the same scripts
and then turn around and sell 8mg of dilaudid for $30
and 100mg morphine for $25
All of which is profit since insurance pays for it all

I think considering I've paid his mortgage the last 16 months
I will consider him a dealer


And I am still going to my "suburban pharmacist"
I have my bills paid for this month
so I can start saving up, probably have enough cash by first week of December

[Thoms]

Congrats on the nilla waffer bud. Glad it sounds like youll be getting some (insert clever dessert sexual enuendo here)

[potato]

Some people seem to be okay with medically scripted drugs as the exception ... but the worst is folks who don't believe there's anything actually wrong with you.  I've actually had doctors tell me my spinal cord injury is all in my head and I just need to suck it up.  pure class.

Personally I don't share any of it unless I know the person is on the level ... either an ex-user or sufficiently liberally minded with regards to drugs.  You're better off just avoiding the folks that can't wrap their heads around it ... though there's no reason to let them pigeon hole you on a first date and ruin your chances of having even a casual encounter ...

If you eventually need or want to share your situation it's probably best to try and convey that it isn't what defines you.  You are not "just an addict" ... it's just another detail in the sea of things about you.

[corlene]

I'd love to go visit this doctor with actual problems TTA

As for potato, what spinal problem do you have that's all in your head?

[potato]

>As for potato, what spinal problem do you have that's all in your head?

I have 5 levels of herniations with central canal stenosis.  Some doctors seem to think any kind of back pain or herniation is the same as a simple herniation and sciatica that impinges the sacral or lumbar nerve roots (the nerves that exit the spinal cord and run down your legs).  Central canal stenosis is different though, and even with one level if it's obstructing any more than 50% of your spinal cord is going to be causing intractable pain and functional impairment in a way that makes sciatica look like a skinned knee.

Beyond telling me to suck it up I regularly get encouraged to have surgery or interventional stuff that ranges from highly experimental and rarely successful in cases like mine ... to stuff that is outright banned in many countries ... ie; The most common thing for sciatica is the epidural injections, which clearly state on the box that the steroids are not to be used for epidural injections ... even if that wasn't the case it'd be pointless because I don't have sciatica in the first place.

I've had great luck with anesthesiologists and neurology guys though ... and almost always they will sit me down and give me a long lecture about how I should ignore anyone who suggests surgery and what-not.

[corlene]

That's certainly not in your head. I know all too well the danger of spinal surgery and interventional pain medicine.

My left brachial plexus is fried, and two failed fusions amongst other things.

I hope you can find someone who will help manage your pain. Your right about anesthesiologists helping. My PM doc is board certified in both anesthesiology and pain medicine.

[widowmaker]

I tell women that I'm a drug addict before things get serious between us. They have a right to know, and I'm tired of the runaround of trying to hide my habit from someone.