Things we wish guys knew...

[Opus]

One thing you said though bothers me a bit & if I'm misunderstanding your intent, my sincere apologies to you. You say you wish people "would check their generalizations:". The title of the thread is "Things we wish MEN knew". Its each girls' thoughts; *whatever* they may be. So I suppose it's my fault for making it.

At first I meant to direct that comment towards Shelley and maybe I should have quoted her, but reading your post and thinking a little more: IMO it's really just as much the thread title that I guess seems to generalize a bit. Just like women, not all men are the same, not even close.

Maybe I'm being pedantic, but for example the two things you wrote about in your OP really aren't things I can relate to at all, one I addressed in an earlier post and the other I figured I'd leave alone, but honestly I know better than to ask a woman if she's pissy cos she's hormonal (not like I've never brought the subject up, but it's about tact).

I truly don't mean any disrespect and I'm not offended by this thread, I just think people should be careful with generalizations, and I just figure we're simply not all the same; male, female, trans, black, white, red, blue, English, Australian, young, old, etc.

Yeah, some men have a lot to learn (and may never) about women. Some women also have a lot to learn about men, I guess I just really don't like generalizations, and that applies to LOTS of subjects..

[Shelley]

The more men I meet the more my misandry grows
Sorry if I offend, I guess
It's my "life experience" lol

[Sand and Water (OP)]

One thing you said though bothers me a bit & if I'm misunderstanding your intent, my sincere apologies to you. You say you wish people "would check their generalizations:". The title of the thread is "Things we wish MEN knew". Its each girls' thoughts; *whatever* they may be. So I suppose it's my fault for making it.

At first I meant to direct that comment towards Shelley and maybe I should have quoted her, but reading your post and thinking a little more: IMO it's really just as much the thread title that I guess seems to generalize a bit. Just like women, not all men are the same, not even close.

Maybe I'm being pedantic, but for example the two things you wrote about in your OP really aren't things I can relate to at all, one I addressed in an earlier post and the other I figured I'd leave alone, but honestly I know better than to ask a woman if she's pissy cos she's hormonal (not like I've never brought the subject up, but it's about tact).

I truly don't mean any disrespect and I'm not offended by this thread, I just think people should be careful with generalizations, and I just figure we're simply not all the same; male, female, trans, black, white, red, blue, English, Australian, young, old, etc.

Yeah, some men have a lot to learn (and may never) about women. Some women also have a lot to learn about men, I guess I just really don't like generalizations, and that applies to LOTS of subjects..

Hey Opus, I think b/c of the nature of the question, it's just going to be kind of that way at times. Lots of differences for sure. It's why I put it in the women's subforum

Its because I see so many differences that I thought it might be cool to talk about some of them. I get that you can't relate to some things I posted & hope you know its the same for me when a guy says/does certain things.  As I said before, nothing I say is ever gonna be meant in a mean or demeaning way & I don't think others have been trying to act that way either. I hope we can just keep learning & having a little fun with it

[Riddick">Riddick]

If I may ask a question. Why do so many women lie about wanting a nice guy? I dont mean all women, but it definitely seems like a lot of those same women go with the guy that smacks their ass and tells then to make a sandwich and clean the house. Im using that sentence as sn example, for I feel everyone here has seen this happen. No generalization or disrespect meant. Just like I said, everyone has probably seen this.

[Riddick">Riddick]

Ill quit with the questions. I know this is supposed to be a space for women.

[razor girl]

The more men I meet the more my misandry grows
Sorry if I offend, I guess
It's my "life experience" lol

You're hanging out with the wrong guys.  And I mean that sincerely.  It is fun at first, isn't it?

[Reezy]

I wish they knew how much getting a period sucks. Like really knew. Not that I wish pain and bloating, hot flashes etc. on the them. 
Although, I had a very understanding father who knew to leave us chicks alone when we got menstral (and always put the toilet seat down), there was always the unlying notion from him and most guys like, "you're not dying".  I've also seen women who have no problem with their cycles treat women who do like they're exxagerating...they usually come around to the truth when unfortunately their cycle changes and gives them hell.  And thankfully I don't half the period issues I know some women do, it's really sucky thing.


Good thread S&W !
And thanks for you input nark:) cool

kinda like withdrawals i guess. "youre not gunna die" FUCK you. i hear ya. i dont know what its like to be a woman.

[Sand and Water (OP)]

I wish they knew how much getting a period sucks. Like really knew. Not that I wish pain and bloating, hot flashes etc. on the them. 
Although, I had a very understanding father who knew to leave us chicks alone when we got menstral (and always put the toilet seat down), there was always the unlying notion from him and most guys like, "you're not dying".  I've also seen women who have no problem with their cycles treat women who do like they're exxagerating...they usually come around to the truth when unfortunately their cycle changes and gives them hell.  And thankfully I don't half the period issues I know some women do, it's really sucky thing.


Good thread S&W !
And thanks for you input nark:) cool

kinda like withdrawals i guess. "youre not gunna die" FUCK you. i hear ya. i dont know what its like to be a woman.

Sorry all, I screwed up the quote thingy   But Reezy, you just did a spot on impersonation of my daughter w/the giant "FUCK YOU".  I swear that kid's like Jekyll and Hyde when's she gets her period!  Lol she's told me she can hear the "ugly" leaving her mouth, just can't always stop it lol

Riddick--it's cool, I hope others have an opinion. While obviously some issues may really color how we let others treat us, I wonder how much is also plain old human nature.

For me, I suppose its kinda like the Thor caveman joke I made earlier. Maybe for guys it's old joke about them supposedly wanting a "Madonna in public & a tiger in the bedroom"?  I think we're all sometimes contradictory like that especially when we first realize cooties are a myth

[Narkotikon]

I think a lot of male / female stereotypes can, in part, be attributed to human evolution, as someone else stated.

Most men feel they need to be the "provider," whereas most women feel they need to be the "caregiver" or "homemaker."  Primitive men hunted, women gathered. 

I once read an article that said men tend to have better visual acuity than women.  That primitive men hunted b/c they were better able to gauge distances, especially when prey was moving.  I'm guessing since men tend to have more upper-body strength, and tend to be more muscular than women, that those also played a part in men being the designated hunters.

I can see that translating to men feeling they need to work to support their families, and them possibly feeling a woman's place is in the domestic realm. 

That's a very traditional view, outdated IMO.  If it suits the situation, and both husband and wife agree and feel it's best for them, I see no problem with the man being the caregiver and the head of the domestic realm, and the woman working to support the family.

I know that's probably not a very popular view, but note I said if both parties agree that it suits their situation.  I'm not proposing a man be a deadbeat and making the woman work to support him.  That "go make me a sammich" attitude is so passe. 

Even though we're supposedly more enlightened and living in the 21st century, I think a lot of people still have problems with that type of thing.  I can see outsiders having very negative views concerning a man staying at home and a woman working for the family. 

[Junkette]

I don't think women are lying about wanting a nice guy, that is what they are conditioned by society to want. "Prince Charming", who will come and save them from their mundane life. From a very young age girls are fed love stories...it's to the point where some cannot feel like a whole human being without a "relationship". Many women have their self worth tethered to their "desirability", and can only find worth in being sexually attractive. The pressure to be sexually attractive is absurd. The whole goal in life is to get married and have a family.

Yeah, fuck that.

One could argue that women are taught to tolerate abuse, even taught to expect it...because they are inferior to men. A lot of people have in their mind that the place of a women is in the home...she is suppose to cook, clean, rear the children, and lay on her back and spread her legs on command. She is suppose to be dependent on her husband who "brings home the bacon" and in return for his monetary support she is suppose to give over her body and mind. 

But the way people are conditioned in america, especially, is rather contradictory. I really feel for anyone raised in a very conservative/religious family...those "values" are degrading to everyone involved. I don't know how men or women can find fulfillment in a relationship where both parties are not equal.

Luckily there are more and more people who are becoming aware and enlightened. Without true equality between men and women our civilization will never evolve. Thanks to science we are no longer slaves to our biology/physiology. Men have to stand together with women, we all must work together to find a more progressive stance on what "love" and relationships are suppose to look like.

[Riddick">Riddick]

Good points made imo. I too think society has a huge role in our perception of how women are supposed to be. Especially in how your supposed to act within a group of other dudes. You would get looked at wrong and maybe shunned if you were to say that you stay home with the kids and your girl works. You may not have a problem with it at home, but you better not bring that shit up with your friends. Just how it works. At the same time, feminists go a little crazy imo. I remember holding a door for a chick and she got upset because she can " open the door herself". Like wtf? Or " why do you think you have to pay for dinner? Is it because you assume I dont make any money or cannot pay for myself?". Shit like that gets on my nerves.

[kat1lifeleft]

Junkettes post reminded me of those quiverfull folks...like the 21 kids and counting parents. That kind of repression is all kinds of wrong and can mess up kids in many ways i.e josh duggar

[Anyong]

I tend to be a little less "girlie" and a little more "junkie" when it comes to feelings and gross shit like that, so I wish men in general knew that we don't all want flowers and candy, that Old Boy is preferable to anything on Lifetime, and that yes, women can and do have platonic male friends (who we may or may not sleep with if we weren't dating you, but since we are in a relationship, IT'S A MOOT POINT!) Thank God my current BF is secure enough to let me sleep in a bed with male friends and know we're not fucking or anything!

During my 3-4 gram a day dope habit, I really wished men realized that tricking isn't cheating cuz there are no feelings involved...women trick and men steal/rob, right?! Now that I don't have a dope habit, I'm rethinking this logic.

[Z]

 "I don't know how men or women can find fulfillment in a relationship where both parties are not equal. "

- Junkette

For me I think it is important to recognize that we are not all equal.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  The pc movement wants us to ignore this, but I disagree.  I think that true equality happens when we recognize each other for our strengths.  When we acknowledge our weaknesses and search out people who are complementary to us.  To fill in our gaps in our strength, and benefit each other mutually.

Recognising that we are not all equal also includes freeing women from the domestic labour burden.  Our individuality means that some will love it, and embrace it.  Some will hate the domesticity, and will choose not to do it.  Recognising us for our differences leaves us free to pursue our strengths and interests. 

So, for me, a healthy relationship means recognising each other for their strengths , and for how those strengths can play into each others weaknesses.  Flowing together like making love to present a solid front together.

That is crucial.  Loving and respecting each other to allow the not so perfect.  To allow the accidents and errors, the desires and dreams that make us who we are.  The best relationships are the ones like this.  Where the two flow together to likely a seamless relationship of mutual benefit.

So I respectfully disagree that we are all equal.  We aren't.  We are all different.  But recognising these differences and embracing them is something we should all be doing the some!

Riddick:  dont go  to bed angry is advice from my grandma and was common in her generation.  It means to tenth things out instead of letting it breed resentment and anger etc.  In practice for me it means sometimes admitting fault, and being committed to resolving problems when they come up instead of not saying anything and getting upset.  Going to bed mad in other words.

[St. Theresa]

I wish they knew how much getting a period sucks. Like really knew. Not that I wish pain and bloating, hot flashes etc. on the them. 
Although, I had a very understanding father who knew to leave us chicks alone when we got menstral (and always put the toilet seat down), there was always the unlying notion from him and most guys like, "you're not dying".  I've also seen women who have no problem with their cycles treat women who do like they're exxagerating...they usually come around to the truth when unfortunately their cycle changes and gives them hell.  And thankfully I don't half the period issues I know some women do, it's really sucky thing.


Good thread S&W !
And thanks for you input nark:) cool

kinda like withdrawals i guess. "youre not gunna die" FUCK you. i hear ya. i dont know what its like to be a woman.

Yep.

[St. Theresa]

Salt & water.  this was a great thread. I really think us women (members) would benefit with out any men in a future thread where we talk about feelings and speculate and maybe bitch and moan a bit.  Some men get it and others need to make it known that we are wrong. Where that was never the point!

So it'd be cool if we can have a closed women's thread. Women and women only.  Sorry to all you guys, the good guys that truly love and respect women. I love and respect men. But I would ask if a women's only area can please be considered. There will always be this argument of us generalizing men if we don't have one.

Thanks