Why I Stand Up For Gay Folks, Especially DJ's

[Chip (OP)]

https://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/26686023/vigilante-attack-on-gay-man/

A former Sydney DJ was allegedly fatally bashed in a disabled toilet by two strangers in a "vigilante attack" to rid a Caversham park of gay men.

Warren Gerard Batchelor, 48, died a few days after he was allegedly attacked in a public toilet block at Middle Swan Reserve in November 2013.

Two men who were camping at the reserve at the time, Daniel Wade Jones and Mark Taylor, went on trial yesterday accused of murdering Mr Batchelor.

Prosecutor Bruno Fiannaca told the Supreme Court the pair burst into the cubicle and attacked Mr Batchelor while he was in there with another man.

He said Mr Taylor, whose four young children were nearby, made derogatory remarks and punched and kicked Mr Batchelor before Mr Jones repeatedly hit his head with a metal pole.

"Certainly there was no justification or excuse or any lawful basis for the killing of Mr Batchelor," Mr Fiannaca said.

Mr Batchelor briefly regained consciousness but collapsed next to his car as he tried to leave the area. He had a fractured skull, bleeding, brain swelling and a blood clot that pushed his brain downwards.

Doctors tried to relieve the pressure on Mr Batchelor's brain by removing part of his skull but he died in hospital two days after the attack.

Mr Fiannaca said the public toilet block appeared to be a well-known meeting place for homosexual men.

He urged the jury to put aside any judgments they may have about the lifestyles of people involved in the case.

Recorded evidence from two of Mr Taylor's children who were at the park at the time of the assault will be played to the jury.

The court was told Mr Taylor's oldest child heard yelling and was later told by her father someone was half dead in the toilets and there was blood everywhere.

The man who was in the toilet with Mr Batchelor, whose name is suppressed, was the only witness to what happened inside the cubicle and will give evidence during the trial.

Mr Fiannaca said the man was assaulted and threatened with a knife but managed to barge through the men and flee in a car.

During an interview with police, Mr Taylor said he saw a man on the floor of the cubicle but claimed he did not notice any blood or injuries.

When he was arrested, Mr Jones denied any involvement in the toilet block attack.

Mr Jones' and Mr Taylor's lawyers will deliver opening addresses to the jury today.

[Chip (OP)]

the gays and us junkies are well hated, despite what "they" say.

we make good allies.

we both feel the discrimination.

we both need to lookout for each other.

[Zoops]

When I was a college student, one of my roomies "came out" to me and all our friends. We were all like "we already know, dude, females are always up in your shit and you never ever take them up on it." So after that, we had good drug connects for weed and pills.

Parties that we threw were attended by a mix of gay people and hetero folks. Good times. Really opened my eyes, as I'd never before been exposed to outright homosexuality before. Don't understand it myself, but I can respect the notion. Still friends on FB with this guy, who has been with the same man since like 1993, and currently lives in LA.

He's doing better than me right now, in life.

So, maybe there's something to be said for being gay?

[Narkotikon]

I hope those homophobic pieces of shit (Mr. Jones and Mr. Taylor) get life in prison.  They don't deserve to be out and about among "normal" people.  In the US, that type of crime would be deemed a hate crime.  Hate crimes carry stiffer penalties than non-hate crimes of a comparable nature.  I'm not sure if there's something similar in Australia.  If not, there should be.

I'm all for free speech, but only to a certain extent.  When the intention is to hurt someone, I really don't think free speech should be tolerated.  There are ways to disagree with people without resorting to hate.  Anything hateful should be discouraged and / or punished IMO, not protected under some flimsy pretense such as free speech.  In short, I don't think hate should be protected. 

As for physical violence against someone, it's totally unacceptable whether or not it's directed at gay people.

As for homophobia in general, it's lame.  I really can't stand it when conservative bigots try to justify their prejudice with pseudo-science.  Gay people aren't going to rape or corrupt your children.  Gay people aren't going to turn other people gay (it's not a choice, a form of brainwashing, or a disease you can catch).  Gay people aren't any worse or better than non-gay people.  People are people, as Depeche Mode says.

For all the progress that's been made, the US is still half-ass backwards when it comes to gay people.  Some places / states moreso than others.  It's now a federal crime to fire someone based on their sexual orientation.  But in some states, there are absolutely no state laws that prevent employers from firing gay people simply because they're gay. 

There are stupid things in the news all the time.  For instance, there was some baker in Indiana who didn't want to bake a wedding cake because it was for a gay couple.  It's analogous to saying we won't bake a cake for a black couple, or an interracial couple.  They wouldn't dare try that in this day and age, at least not openly.  It confounds me that they think it's perfectly acceptable to do that to gay people.  Indiana is really fucked up at the moment concerning gay rights.

When I was 27, I was put on a 72 hour hold on a psych ward as a lame attempt to "help" me detox cold turkey off of morphine.  After the three days were over, I was told I couldn't come back home.  They wanted me to go into some type of inpatient setting.  I begrudgingly caved and went to the place they chose for an intake appointment.  It was some kind of religious rehab called Teen Challenge.  I have no idea why they chose that place, aside from the fact that it was affordable and close by. 

Anyway, when I went there, the stupid redneck counselor told me flat out "we can't admit you because you're gay."  Remember that I was 72 hours off of opiates, and still in minor w/d, and I really wasn't in a good state of mind.  VERY stressed out.  Not a good time.  So it was difficult for me to debate this asshole.  Not that debating him would have mattered.  When it comes to bigots, you usually can't change their minds.  They've spent years justifying their hatred to themselves.  It's not like I could have changed his mind in 30 minutes, if ever.

One of his reasons was that I couldn't stay there because they had dorm-type housing.  He said that since I was gay, I was more likely to have sex with other male residents.  Like I was just going to start raping / humping the first guy I saw.  Believe me when I say sex was the last thing on my mind at that point.  Plus, even if I were sexual at that time, I most likely wouldn't have been into those types of redneck guys.  Not my cup of tea, at all.  Not to mention I went to college and lived in a dorm for four years.  Didn't force anyone to have sex then, either.   

He said "well, if I were living in a co-ed environment, you wouldn't expect me as a straight male to not try to have sex with the women living with me."  I replied, "um, actually, I would."  It's called self-control, asshole.  Just because a person is gay or straight doesn't mean they're going to start having sex / humping / raping the first person they see.  Ugg.  Dumbasses.

So yeah, I've not been so offended since I was severely bullied by homophobic assholes in elementary school.  Among other things, I was called a "homosexual" back then.  And the funny thing is I didn't even know what "gay" was back then.  Nor was I even sexually attracted to anyone.  Most 7-year-olds aren't.  At least I should hope not. 

Anyway, after that asshole told me that, he let me call a family member.  When I told her why I couldn't stay, she was dumbfounded.  She talked to him on the phone to no avail.  It's probably for the best anyway.  I doubt that type of rehab would have been helpful.  Like I said, it was some freaky conservative Christian / religious rehab.  Not science-based at all.  When I was walking around, a group of addicts were being led in song by a counselor, who was banging some Star-of-David shaped tamborine that had ribbons hanging down from it.  If that's their type of therapy, yeah, not promising. 

Oh, and I forgot to mention one of the most offensive things: when the guy was on the phone with my family member, he recommended to her that I should be sent to some "rehab" for gay people.  One of those places where they try to "cure" people of being gay.  LOL.  I was an adult, so it's not like I would have went.  And thankfully she even said that was stupid.  But yeah, that's what passes for drug rehab in some places in the US.  It's totally pathetic.  Those places shouldn't be allowed to call themselves "rehabs" IMO.  If they want to call themselves churches, or support groups, or something like that, fine.  That's their right.  But not a "rehab."  Rehab implies some sort of accreditation based on fact, not belief.  Prayer and bigoted thinking aren't going to stop addicts from using.

I swear, living in the US sometimes feels like living in the boondocks.  I can certainly see why other nationalities think negatively of us.  It's embarrassing to me at times to be an American.  If I could easily choose and move, I'd much rather be from / living in Western Europe.   

Sorry for the rant, but those are some of my thoughts on homophobia. 

[Chip (OP)]

i was having dinner last night with 2 of my closest friends, a gay couple of sorts, and one told me a story that his mother even offered him aversion therapy !

*sigh* yes. his own mother - he is really hurt by that even many years later. fucked up.

[Narkotikon]

I'm guessing his mother doesn't accept him as a gay man?  Or, maybe she does to some extent, but still wishes / thinks she can "change him back."  UGGG.  Yes, very upsetting indeed.  Ignorant too.

It's really traumatic when you come out to your family and they're not supportive.  We all grow up in a straight culture, more or less.  We're inundated with "men go with women, women go with men, etc." from day one.  Boys are supposed to act this way, girls another.  And if you don't conform to those notions, or do but aren't comfortable with them, you end up having this huge sense of guilt, shame, anger, frustration, etc. 

So yeah, when you actually build up the courage to proclaim your true self, and those people who are supposed to love you don't support you, yeah, it's really upsetting. 

I came out at 19.  Most of my immediate family were supportive.  My mother was not.  I told her over the phone, as I thought it would be less intense.  She simply said "no, you're not" then hung up the phone. 

She's more comfortable with it now, thankfully, but it's still something we don't talk about.  Not necessarily by choice.  It's just that she doesn't talk about / acknowledge anything that she doesn't want to confront.  Total denier.  But yeah, I'd never want to talk with her about my sexuality or relationships anyway.  It would just be very awkward.  I'd feel that way if I were straight too.

On some level I think she realizes I am indeed gay.  But, it really wouldn't surprise me if she didn't think it would be better if I weren't.  Oh well, her loss.  She'll never know me as a human being, nor I her.  That realization has become easier the older I've gotten. 

It is very upsetting when you're younger though.  Everyone has a notion of how a "father" or a "mother" are supposed to act.  When your actual parents don't conform to those notions, it creates a rift in your sense of self, your stability, your world. 

As for my father, he died when I was 15, so I fortunately didn't have to come out to him.  That would have been even more traumatic I think. 

I'm sorry that happened to your friend though.  I hope his mother is at least somewhat supportive now.  If she's not, I hope he's able to move past that, and able to find peace with himself, the situation, and her as his mother.

[Chip (OP)]

the feeling of dissatisfaction and misunderstandings run both ways.

FYI, some of the gays i meet on (their) dance clubs/circuit are drop-dead cool motherfuckers