Meth revisited: My spun perspective of meth after a near decade of abstenance...

[6-mam (OP)]

Forwarning; I am a little gacked. May contain ramblings and nonsensical babble.

A little background I'm a former meth user, I say user because I was never really deep into the shit using grams a day staying up for weeks at a time selling my sexy skinny tweaker body for crystal on the corner. Although I heard some gay guys are pretty into the super skinny but nice face look (I get hit on by guys a lot in the bay area, while I have been known to swing that way from time to time, I'm not a bottom or truly particularly into guys). In fact some dude a couple weeks ago picked me up walking down the street wanted my sweet ass so bad he showed up in the middle of the night unannounced knocking on my door.. Anyway, you were forewarned of the nonsence, I just did enough to get twacked out once a week or so. Then it affected me to the point of never touching this stuff again. To much carpet picking and paranoia and I'm skinny so I need food at least once a day, and it's a very strong anorectic.

Plus I wasn't smart enough to use or ever had money for other drugs to combat the excess stimulation.

So I vowed to not touch it anymore. And I've been happy to do that. The dreams of using meth and the cravings went away completely after a year or so of not using/wanting it.

But for some once you get enjoyment from stims, you're usually always interested in them. So after a few years I did benzedrex inhalers, propylhexadrine, nothing bad happened. I could handle it just fine. Not the same as before, no craziness. I was able to eat. I was shocked kind of.

That progressed a few years later to my wife bringing home some adderall from a friend. We were curious because we were both former meth users. At first I would only do like 20 mgs at a time and drink my usual pint of vodka shortly after. And noticed it was nowhere near as stimulating as it used to be. I ate, slept, was just fine. That progressed to me doing 50 mgs in a night, without booze, and I still was surprised I ate, slept (although poorly) and was other wise fine. Not anywhere near I remember. It didn't affect my days severely and I didn't twack out on shit as much. I did but not as bad as what made me quit.

Fast forward to now, I moved to methville USA. I had no intention to even touch the stuff because it makes adderall seems like an espresso. But I'm out of my tea, and wds are setting in. I've been able to pawn small amounts of hydrocodone, and now a couple roxis, and I downed some lope but I knew I had to work all night and those hydros would be long gone by 8 in the morning.

So I have the bright idea to do some meth on top of the other stuff. I'm sure somebody you will understand that....

So I'm kinda nervous but not really owing to my aforementioned experiences with plain amphetamine being more benign then in the past, but as soon as those crystals come out I reminisce on days gone by, slowing picking through the carpet and smoking cat litter...

So I just go for a half a line. Oh shit I remember that burn!!!! And drip, why does it make the back of your throat feel kind of irritated? Oh I'll be fine and I'm not going to do it again any time soon, snort up the other half.

Immediately I expect to be hit with a rush of energy and possibly anxiousness and restlessness. But all I was hit by was the immediate urge to empty my bowels, and that I did. It was like vomiting out my ass. Wds coupled with stimulation equals instant-shits....

Then it gradually hit me. I'm calmly stimulated. A cool energy that is not intrusive and feels natural. At this point  very pleasent. Not the desperate fiendish desperation that will eventually take hold....

No I'm not naive enough to fall for this. I clearly remember how this drug felt so natural and unobtrusive when I first started doing it at 14. How much I loved it's clean light clear feeling. I remember how it doesn't stay this way and will eventually turn into a world I don't wish to be in.

But for now I'll save those thoughts until I'm done with work. I think, well I hope I can better handle it now, and tonight and tomorrow will tell... But I do get paid tomorrow, and might have my seeds coming also, so the comfort meds/booze will be plentiful and used liberally.

I'll update my state of mind as this drug progresses. I do not wish to use often again. I Will not let it's initial enjoyment sway me.

[Fentfiend420]

All I know is when I'm in WD from H. Any kinda stimulant makes it 10x worse! Same with booze...
I stick with lope,benzos,and maybe some bud.
Just be careful not to rekindle your love with ice man.
Hope you get some relief soon!

[Chip]

Just finished a 5 day run in Meth and feel fine, so far.

It was a gift to me for offering my abode and car to friends for a few days.

I used the Meth to help me lower my Methadone gradually.

I like my sleep so I keep it a weekly session, but not always. It's a relief from the long days and limited options that unemployment bring.

It's not all bad if you stick to the plan and have a recovery plan.

[6-mam (OP)]

All I know is when I'm in WD from H. Any kinda stimulant makes it 10x worse! Same with booze...
I stick with lope,benzos,and maybe some bud.
Just be careful not to rekindle your love with ice man.
Hope you get some relief soon!

I don't know if I'd do it in full blown mode, I'm like that in between stage. You know what I'm saying? Where you have just enough not to be bed ridden (at least that's usually my case) but still not fully covered. Like I said I''ve took 30 mgs hydro about 24 hours ago after about 24 hours from my last dose, not including the 7 grams of kratom a few hours later, then earlier I had another 30 mgs hydro about 9 am then some lope ( No clue how much I just chugged the rest of the bottle of liquid Imodium) at like 11 am. Then I took my last 10 mg hydro about 6 pm and half of a 20mg roxi that I found lol. Then someone came through with a 30 mg oxycodone that I haven't taken yet because I know I'll be needing it later. So I'm not fully sick just mildly. But enough to be noticeably unproductive at work. Maybe I'm just a big ass pussy but I can't see myself working my physical ass job in close contact with my boss for 8 hours until 8am. I didn't want to call in and be out precious money for drugz. Plus I have to pick my pay check up at work tomorrow and I'd be fucking stupid to pick it up after calling in. I'm actually pretty happy it came through at this point. I feel like I can make it through my shift, get my check, ride 3 miles home in 30 something degrees, wait all day for the mail, get well plus some, get drunk, pass out.

It's actually really convenient for me doing this shit right now because no one questions me staying up all night. Because that's when I work and am up!

So I've done this before with addies, lope holds a lot of stuff but I can't sleep or eat and I'm extremely fatigued still with depression yada yada poor me, and stimulants make up  for that. So no I wouldn't probably try it full sickness mode.

TL;DR  I've got opiates in my system along with lope but I'm not fully covered at the dose I'm at. Stimulants make up for some of the depression and fatigue. And I needed help to work all night till the break of dawn.

Just finished a 5 day run in Meth and feel fine, so far.

It was a gift to me for offering my abode and car to friends for a few days.

I used the Meth to help me lower my Methadone gradually.

I like my sleep so I keep it a weekly session, but not always. It's a relief from the long days and limited options that unemployment bring.

It's not all bad if you stick to the plan and have a recovery plan.

Damn you're more hardcore then me chipper, I'd be fucking crazy after 2 days. Do you mean you didn't sleep for 5 days? I don't just like my sleep, I fuckin need it not to go crazy and be in that disassociated state that lack of sleep brings. I hate that so much, probably the number 1 reason I quit.

I don't know if I'll do it again at this point. Depends on how I feel tomorrow and the next day. If it's no big deal, I might occasionally do a line. I still have probably .2 that I was given. About 2 lines.

Yeah chipper I feel bad as hell for you ozzies. How much would .2 be there? 100 asd? .2 is prolly 10$ or less here,  and even cheaper in bulk, I've heard of balls going for 160 if you know the right people,  so it's very easy to go way over board. I've done about a point. Have 2 more, doesn't go well in the end if I chosose to rail it all tonight. Which I tend to do....

Damn I'm rambling!!!! Spin cycle. Fuck it though, I can do it for once right?

[Chip]

I managed 4 hours sleep in 5 days.

Retail price for .2 is $100.

At least now I can have a good sleep.

Go easy. I won't be doing that again in a hurry - at least I know my friends better. It can be a very social thing.

[6-mam (OP)]

What's your normal dose chip?

[Dopeless Hopefiend]

Just the thought of doing Meth makes my stomach churn. I used to smoke it at work in the late 90s if I'd shot too much H and was nodding off, but that's about it. I just know that every time I did it, i regretted it the next day. The comedown, the not being able to sleep, that shit is brutal.

[Chip]

My dose varies from 1.5-3 pts. a week.

If I was working then I'd probably wouldn't use at all.

[6-mam (OP)]

Just the thought of doing Meth makes my stomach churn. I used to smoke it at work in the late 90s if I'd shot too much H and was nodding off, but that's about it. I just know that every time I did it, i regretted it the next day. The comedown, the not being able to sleep, that shit is brutal.

It ain't that bad if you use downers liberaly. I'm off for two days I think so I'm fine.

Although WDS are starting to kick my ass! I think you may be right about the meth sucking when your actually kicking...

Yeah, I wasn't vry sick at all last night, or morning in my case. I feel pretty strong waves of anxiety and getting restless arms... oh nausea too, great...

My shit should be here any god damn min so I'm all good though. I'll talk more when well. Im gunna do some meth with a big dose of tea. also booze, lots. i dont normaly sleep until 830 am anyway...

[6-mam (OP)]

Ok final review. Basically I was a little miserable there yesterday. Like I said I did to much of it when if I would have stopped at one night I would have been fine. But I didn't. So I needed extra recovery time.

As I suspected it doesn't effect me as much anymore. I ate and slept just fine after a decent amount of time not using. And fell asleep pretty much effortlessly 8 hours later because of my opiates and booze. Not a big deL if I just use for a day then stop and rest.

But I did suffer enough not to want to do it again anytime soon.

Plus the excessive rambling got even on my nerves!

[lawyerup]

chipper uve mentioned over the years you're disabled, ive always been curious, can i ask what ur disabled with?

[Chip]

I am not really physically disabled but i only have sight in one eye with poor sight.

I suffer from bipolar, occasional psychosis (not drug induced) and of course, drug addiction.

[Chip]

6-mam, that's the beauty of it - you don't want to go back for more and if you do, it starts getting worse.

Sometimes I have to go twice a week but usually regret it later.

I know opiates are more fun but the lack of any noticeable physical addiction is the part of methamphetamine that I hold in high regard.

Sure, there is still a price to pay but it's comparatively minimal.

Do I miss the blissful dream-like state that opiates bring ? You bet I do but the "price" is too high for me.

It's not for everyone but at least it makes me think quicker and I get productive. I hope you enjoyed your Meth experience.

[6-mam (OP)]

Anddddd I've already done it like 3 times since....

Gunna do some more after I eat Chinese food.

I knew I shouldnt have started. Eh I'll be ok. I can turn it down and try and eat and sleep having it sit there. I don't spend money on it, I'm not sure anyone can tell yet. I bought some new cloths today and now I don't look homeless.

It's really damn convenient when you work at night.

[Chip]

Take care with night work -- Meth made me a burnt out monster as I lost too much sleep, a colleague verbally insulted me and I lost it.

I got sacked prior to receiving a $100,000 redundancy payment.

My Meth use cost me that fucking much ! So fuck it, ain't got no job anyway so IDGAF any more.

Let your guard down, ignore vital bodily requirements and it will steal from you, in ways you never imagined.

I sit here exhausted after a 4 day run but I have eaten and slept ... now I do it on my own terms with no job telling me to be somewhere and when.

Got to look on the bright side ... but pay attention to what I went through -- Meth kicked my arse and now we're lovers.

Need to sleep, no matter what ? Enter the nightmare-if-you-get-addicted GHB -- it works but get the dosage wrong and death may come knocking.