dopetalk
Core Topics => Opiates & Opioids => Drugs => Methadone and Buprenorphine Maintenance => Topic started by: Chip on August 21, 2015, 11:09:31 AM
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yes, i'm still up to my old tricks.
it really hits home when people talk about addiction.
i can be totally stupid when it comes to my own comfort and misery.
shit, now i have to go out and line something else up for the shortfall.
it just seems like i'm not learning ... just wanted to share ... it also seems like i'm not happy unless i mess around with my doses.
at least it's only 22.5 mg but it still hurts.
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It's nice to know there are others in the same situation. For me it's benzos for Panic Disorder. Withen a week of being discharged from the hospital a supply designed to last 3 weeks is gone in a couple days and im back going to ER's and urgent cares for a small script for 6 1g pills. It's a shitty life when you really do need the pills.
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My (legal) addiction to cigarettes seems so small compared to you (Chipper & Jega), but its the only habit I've never, ever been able to get away from. I'm sorry you are both struggling right now. I hope it starts to get a little easier each & every day. Sending you both big positive thoughts, karma & whatever else helps.
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Are you still injecting them chipper?
I asked my doctor to cut my down from weeklies to 3x a week because of drinking more methadone then i should. So far so good, but going three times sucks.
Sometimes I think I intentionally did it so I would have an excuse to go get some dilaydid or heroin. Bad bad boy.
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yeah, i am still injecting them but talk about slim pickings !
maybe that's what it's going to take - no IV options will change things and i'm almost there.
i'm just upset at my ability to deceive myself ... i should be doing better.
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I hope your able to get a handle on it
I know how hard it is personally
Just try and do the best you can, and really try
Best wishes!
OOAO
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Well, at least I just found out I am in good company! I get 6 take-homes, which I have tried almost everything (except NOT taking them and returning to daily clinic pick-ups) to not take more than I am supposed to.
First, I had one of those locking box things with a key. I gave the key to my husband to hold for safe keeping...which was great..the key was safe, but my bottles were not as I quickly figured out how to open said lock with nothing but sheer determination and a bent paper clip!
Then my husband bought one of those heavy duty personal safes with a combination lock. That too was easily defeated with the help of a Youtube video entitled "how to break into a combination lock safe"!
After all that I was sincerely thinking about changing my career from dental hygienist to cat burglar!
For the final act I started going to the clinic early before he went to work and surrendering my bottles to him to hold...great idea, but me, always thinking ahead, filled up a water bottle with green food coloring(the clinic adds green colored water to take-homes) and on the way home I would knock back a few, replace with same colored water and hubby was none the wiser...until I would be sick with two days til pickup!
Unfortunately, i haven't come up with any way to NOT do it yet. I am seriously debating going back on daily pickups again to avoid all this shit.
I still think if my dose was raised I might do a bit beter. I have even split my dose, but I still feel undermedicated...I have a meeting with the doctor this week, so we will see. I still have a ton of drug cravings and I have read that sometimes the dose of methadone to combat drug hunger can be a lot higher than the dosage needed to stop withdrawal.
so, after all that long winded drivel, I just wanted to say I am in the same boat! Really comforting, huh? lol
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I luckily learned my lesson by running out early and now that I don't feel anything at all from my dose even when I was on 280 I got nothing from it so theres just no fun to be had from dipping into the cookie jar. Plus now I only get one take-home a week instead of getting 2 weeks at a time so I really don't have the option of going through it. I wish the honeymoon phase would never end I miss it terribly! I am now trying to figure out how to stop the benzos. I had my doctor prescribe the lowest dose so that it only last a few days so I don't become dependent again, but now I am trying to stop them all together and I can't its just to easy to goto the dr or call in the refill and pay a dollar for a few days of carelessness and good sleep.
Griffin
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Don't we all !!!!
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I can't count how many times I've made the same mistake over and over.
I guess after the first time, I can't call it a "mistake" anymore.
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It's DEFINITELY a problem for me too. In fact I have 2 days a week, that I take absolutely nothing just so I can double my dose on the weekend. This is getting harder and harder to do, because its a PAIN IN THE ASS to get increases at my clinic, they want you to beg for them and jump thru various hoops just for a measly 5mg increase, and my current dose isn't holding me on the days I take the actual prescribed amount.
So what do you do, Chipper, on the days that you are out? Just white-knuckle it like I do, or is there anything I could try to ease the pain?
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I beg my buddy for Morphine ... if I can pay then I do so and usually do.
then there's OTC 15 mg. Codeine and acetaminophen but usually M.
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Hey chipper, what do you do with those codeine 15mg/APAP pills?
CWE them? Hey can't you make desomorphine out of codeine, iodine, gasoline and some other shit, then just shoot the crude reaction mixture? I heard something about that once...
Try doing that!
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I just eat 'em ... now methinks I have just been sold a bunch of croc. ::)
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For everyone who does use there take homes early or if you happen to go a day or two missing your dose. I have noticed that it doesn't really effect me the day of if I miss one day but 2-3 days later even after I dose I usually feel a little bit down or under the weather? Anyone else notice this at all or is it all in my head? If I miss 2 days I definitely notice it the second day but 2-3 days after I start dosing again I feel I have no energy and get a little down. My counselor said it is because of the way the half life works and that your levels are on a certain stable level after you've been on MMT a while and when you miss a dose you have enough in your system to get through that day but it drops your level a little bit and you feel the effects a few days later. I was seeing if that is what you guys were feeling or if you had noticed it at all.
Griffin
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No but seriously, Chipper, you probably should do a CWE on them to get rid of the nasty acetaminophen in there, because I know you're not just taking 1 or 2 of them when you do...
And Griffin, yes, that's how it works, the longer the half life of a drug, the longer it takes to get to steady state, and the longer it takes to drop your levels down too, when you miss a dose, even if you re-dose, it takes that much longer for your levels to come back up again.
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No but seriously, Chipper, you probably should do a CWE on them to get rid of the nasty acetaminophen in there, because I know you're not just taking 1 or 2 of them when you do...
And Griffin, yes, that's how it works, the longer the half life of a drug, the longer it takes to get to steady state, and the longer it takes to drop your levels down too, when you miss a dose, even if you re-dose, it takes that much longer for your levels to come back up again.
I had honestly forgot - and the only reason I stumbled across the 'phile was whilst researching CWE's !
the irony. good call Zoops ! a timely reminder.
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For everyone who does use there take homes early or if you happen to go a day or two missing your dose. I have noticed that it doesn't really effect me the day of if I miss one day but 2-3 days later even after I dose I usually feel a little bit down or under the weather? Anyone else notice this at all or is it all in my head? If I miss 2 days I definitely notice it the second day but 2-3 days after I start dosing again I feel I have no energy and get a little down. My counselor said it is because of the way the half life works and that your levels are on a certain stable level after you've been on MMT a while and when you miss a dose you have enough in your system to get through that day but it drops your level a little bit and you feel the effects a few days later. I was seeing if that is what you guys were feeling or if you had noticed it at all.
Griffin
it's all down to how fast you metabolise it - you are very slow and I am very fast ... I couldn't do it like you do, not a hope in hell.
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I used to think I was a fast metabolizer because I've always needed doses larger than most people, but I think I'm actually a slow metabolizer because I can go two days without and be totally okay. I think part of it is that I've trained myself, and also that I take massive doses on the days I do dose (3 days a week), so the 4 days I don't dose are just part of the routine. I've been doing this for years, and I remember even going one day being tough, but it's pretty much nothing now. I really don't like mentioning how much methadone I actually take, but I do think taking larger doses and skipping days has worked out well for me. I still get completely loaded without potentiating, but still be productive on the days I do t dose. I do wish I could stop shooting my takehomes, I've been IVing for almost 15 years, and I'm finally starting to run out of options (I'm still terrified of using my neck or femoral).
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yea man I know how it feels I abuse the fuck out of mine also. I have been on done for about 9 years now and my dose is 165 mgs I pick up 13 bottles every two weeks in
Thursday by Sunday/Monday I'm usually out and have to survive for a week or more with no juice . The only time I drink them is when I go in on Thursdays and they watch me
drink them all the rest is loaded in to a 15 ml luer lock rig that looks like a turkey baster and straight in my arm its been like this for the last four to five years and sometimes I
wonder how ive made it this far
OXY
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I beg my buddy for Morphine ... if I can pay then I do so and usually do.
then there's OTC 15 mg. Codeine and acetaminophen but usually M.
OTC?? I'm comin' down under Chipper! ;D
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I once had the pleasure of staying in the Sydney Hilton for 5 weeks (and I had lived in Sydney a couple years earlier so I knew the turf). We spent the whole time blitzed on Aussie beer, codeine, cough syrup-surprisingly strong in those days-and lousy Oz weed scored in Kings Cross. Codeine was the goto anti-hangover drug, I got nailed with about 10 packs of it in Hawaii, customs kept me for 2 hours, almost made me miss my flight and let me go with all of them. Wankers,.
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I used to think I was a fast metabolizer because I've always needed doses larger than most people, but I think I'm actually a slow metabolizer because I can go two days without and be totally okay. I think part of it is that I've trained myself, and also that I take massive doses on the days I do dose (3 days a week), so the 4 days I don't dose are just part of the routine. I've been doing this for years, and I remember even going one day being tough, but it's pretty much nothing now. I really don't like mentioning how much methadone I actually take, but I do think taking larger doses and skipping days has worked out well for me. I still get completely loaded without potentiating, but still be productive on the days I do t dose. I do wish I could stop shooting my takehomes, I've been IVing for almost 15 years, and I'm finally starting to run out of options (I'm still terrified of using my neck or femoral).
Stay away from your neck. Running out of all my veins was probably the best thing and worst thing that ever happened to me. And I blew out both sides of my juggular fast and they were HOSES. im a very "professional" looking guy with a rather normal life and once i started getting tracks on my neck or the few times i missed and was scared shitless some terrible infection would kill me.. or an artery... nerve... etc.. it just wasn't worth it. For some reason I NEVER attempted my femoral out of fear to strong to over come cause how close the femoral artery is... .... ....but later I was told I should have been far more worried about all the neck shots then your femoral. Anyone know if the neck is even more risky? Im lucky that is all past me but I still have a short tip needle broken off in my neck. Thank god not in a vein and probably grown into the skin by now but it scares me knowing its always there.
The worst is im a CPP and I have really serious medical problems and ANYTIME they need blood from me or to place an IV line it obvious about my past even without marks. I have NO veins for a 29 year old fit male. No arms, hands, feet, legs, neck, nothing!! It always ends in them using an ultrasound machine to place a super deep IV guided by the machine. Or a pixk line guided by an xray by the radiologist right into my heart through my under arm. So don't kill everything you got over methadone syrup because someday you might realize you really really need your veins for some things later in life.
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JonWrong, i have deliberately saved my feet for blood draws etc. and i am NEVER going to shoot in them ever.
good advice but hard for some going-for-broke injectors.
my recent blood draws indicated no HIV or HCV ... yay.
all injectors: save some viable venous real estate because if you plan to get old, you will need it.
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I've been told that the reason using your neck is so dangerous is cos it's so close to your brain, so if an infection from a miss or abscess got out of hand, it doesn't have to go far before you're fucked and drooling on yourself.
I had a fat jug that I used for years, it was so big I didn't really need to register it and I was always the first one done (as long as I had a mirror). I did that for probably 6-7 years+ before it finally receded. Now I got shit and it takes the very best-of-the-best to get half-a-vial out of me, it fucking blows, but it does keep me from shooting a ton of dope, which these days is a good thing.