dopetalk
Core Topics => Suicide and Ideation => Topic started by: Griffin on December 11, 2015, 07:56:12 PM
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I am not suicidal right this second nor do i plan on killing myself but I feel like i have lost everything and been completely raped. I have lost everything due to the police. I have no self worth and the only reason I won't kill my self is because of what it do to my family FUCK COPS AND the GOVernment i hope they all die slow and painful deaths and if there is an after life I hope they all goto hell no matter why they got into it or what they did during there time because tehy are part of the biggest evil in the world who have stripped me of all my dignity, all of my self worth, they have made me so depressed and hate myself to a new level i didnt think was possilbe. I feel I have nothing no material possessions and no worth as man and that i am not worth a shit
his is an excerpt from a post i just made that may or my not explain it im not sure if its even the right post of what i wrote of what happened to me but i dont have the time to re read it, correct it, or make it legible. FUCK COPS AND THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM.
got a $800 Ticket for parking my car in front of my house. It's tag isn't up to date which is a bullshit racket in itself which doesnt help to make roads safer. it only helps to keep rich people in power so they can make more money. The cop said that each day it's parked in front of my house it is another $75-$150 ticket on top of the $800+ I will have to pay it all off if I don't want to goto prison and this will continue until i update my tag.... the reason its in front of my house and not being driven around is because I have been taking the bus to work so that I can be able to afford a new tag! But sense its on a public road in front of my house since I dont have a garage to put it in. I will be charged at least one ticket per day until they tow it or incarcerate me until I can pay all fines(its pretty hard to pay fines and make money in a jail cell). Which means they are going to take my license away now! So I can choose to pay the ticket with money I don't have and then not pay my rent and become homeless.... but here in Denver it is a crime to be homeless so if I am caught being homeless I will be fined and imprisoned. making it harder for me to pay all of this bullshit off and sense I will have a criminal record from all of this. It WILL be damn near impossible for me to find a job! or house! I will no longer be able to get school loans to finish college and set myself and my future up so that maybe some day in the future I will be able to make enough money to pay for all this bullshit because I will have a criminal record. I also cant have a gun or any 4th amendment rights because of all this criminal record. I wont be able to vote, have a gun, get employment, get housing, along with the million other things that makes it so hard for people who were convicted of bullshit crimes to get. Which is awful because they usually only charge the poor, the minorities, and the people who truly need are help with these crimes basically ruining any chance these wonderful folks had for a future. Welcome to america Home of the FREE (RICH WHITE PEOPLE) and peril and demise for everyone else unless they have a relative that is RICH OR WHITE or a cop or a government official who can get them off crimes like they do because they protect their own of course! so unless you have people in your family that are rich, cops, white, in the government, then you are pretty much fucked! so dont be mad at all the people who hate americans they kinda have a right too sense we have been fucking with them for the past 3000 years in one way or another. 9/10 god awful horrible things that these radicalists did where provoked by americans who in most cases did something much worse
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Griffin
I am so sorry you are going thru any
Of this
I have been there before
It will get better
I promise
I get so depressed
That's I don't get out of bed either
I wish I could help
Much love
HeAd
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Oh man, that sucks! Is there somewhere you can take the car and park it off the street somewhere? A friend or relatives house? Maybe sell the car until you can afford the tags?
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don't you know someone who you can leave your car with? someone who has a garage? I mean shit, drive it as far away as possible or sell the car to pay the ticket.
do something but do not fucking get thrown into a jail cell over this shit.
try to calm down and be rational. 800 is a lot but it's not an impossible amount to gather. do you have any family? can you leave your car with them?
you said yourself you aren't using it anymore.
also, as far as i know, if you are attempting to pay the fine they cannot imprison you.
can't you contest the ticket? talk to the judge? get a court appointed lawyer?
freaking out isn't going to help you. give me some ideas of what kind of support system/friends/family allies in the community you have and ill do everything in my power to help walk you through some options.
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Exactly what I was thinking, ask someone if you can back it in the drive way. Shovel their snow* or something as payment.
Things get rough, but you can make it work, it just takes time.
If you want let us know what city your in, there are resources out there to help people who have had legal troubles and are going through a tough spot.
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Love to you griff...
(https://forum.drugs-and-users.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi66.tinypic.com%2F2heva01.jpg&hash=f75ca31fa9f0c46745c5ec8f46018a8aca23c847)
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I believe you got my number give me a call and we can try and work some thing out if not email me and we will go from.there
Are brother in need it's it's a brother with out weed a brother in deed it's a brother with weed,
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Most of what I was going to say has been said. You have to get that vehicle onto private property until you can pay what you already "owe" before it gets worse or just sell it and use the money to clear your debts then buy a car when you can afford to keep it on the road.
Athough soliciting isn't allowed ON this site, I don't see why you couldn't open a GoFundMe page and let the word spread organically. Shit, we funded Mohawk's habit for a year or more. MAYBE admins will allow you to mention it's existence here, just once. Ask first.
I know how deep those financial holes can feel but it's all relative. Being broke and slammed by fees and fines and probation and clinics probably looks unresolvable at the time but that can all change.
Another thought, see if you can contest the fine or have it reduced, I've fought tickets and had them halved or better just for showing up in front of a judge and contesting it.
Ask your clinic to help you connect with a social worker. They (the social worker) may have access to all sorts of resources to help you out you wouldn't know about normally. When I was at the end of my financial options I went to a Jewish Aid organization that I had heard about. They covered my rent for a month and gave me some gift cards for the grocery store an I'm not even Jewish it was available to anyone qualified in the town.
I suggest the clinic because it may be a shortcut to the social worker and therefore the relief.
But yeah, get that car to private property, even if you have to rent a storage unit for a month or two.
[Edited to Add:] Something to remember: The DWI and tickets and other things I recall you suffering are misdemeanors and traffic infractions, not felonies and as such shouldnt cost you your rights or opportunities for government assistance. Even the DWI-D is a misdemeanor for first and second offenses and it wasn't a possesion charge IIRC, meaning some of the war on drugs automatic disqualifications for drug convictions wont come inotplay. Colorado may be being awfully hardon you right now but as long as you aren't convicted of felonies you shouldn't lose Rights.
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GoFundMe-
yes, if you do this, I would like to help you too.
Don't fold under this temporary bs-
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that sounds absolutely wrong of the cops to do that.
of course I dont mind if you start of GoFundMe site and point to it from here.
That's a really good idea, especially since you have had a rough run.
happy to help you brother.
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Do you mind if I ask what fucked-up state you live in? (Okay, I saw Denver so colorado)
I'm a law-abiding Morfy, for the most part, but when I hear stories like this, I get a little desire to start damaging things, state-owned things.
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I DESPISE asking for help man, but sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and do it. You've already had some offers from a few great people, so I would take them up on it.
Echoing that this shit is just temporary, but inaction will only make it worse. Hit somebody up and explain your situation, a NO isn't gonna kill you.
Hope things look up for you man, you seem like a really good guy that has had a run of misfortune, please don't do anything rash.
Move that car, or sell it, or drive it off a cliff, you're in the Mile-High yeah?
Ah yes, one more thing.....GO RAIDERS! (disregard if you aren't a football fan)
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I agree that this is a bullshit thing, ticketing you every day. Total bullshit. I've been there - years ago when I was a single parent with two little kids, I got pulled over for parking tickets (incurred by husband btw at the college he attended) and they hauled me off to the station with the kids along; complete and total bullshit. They thankfully let me go after a while (the baby crying probably helped).
I went in later and settled up with them for a fraction of the tickets' value but it was horrible getting hauled in. They were waiting for me/anyone driving that car right down my street. ***FOR FUCKING PARKING TICKETS!*** And I was on my way to work, dropping the kids off on the way.
I echo what everyone else said here, and wanted to add that I've been reading a lot lately about how people without money or connections get thrown in jail -- lots of times for parking and traffic fines. It happenes because they ignore the tickets - if you make some attempt to pay SOMETHING even a little bit, they generally will NOT throw you in jail. It's the people who let them pile up who end up in the slammer.
You do not want to be that guy! So as pissed off as you are at the authorities, it is in your best interest to suck it up and do two things: (a) find a place to store the car and (b) go to court (there should be a date on any one of these tickets or a phone number to call to contest the ticket). DO THAT and go in and tell them that you can either pay "x" small amount, or perhaps that you have nothing... at least if you're going in to talk to them you may be able to avoid jail.
I lost a close family member (husband) to suicide when we were in our 20's. It will hurt your family a hell of a lot. Don't give the police/government the satisfaction!
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Thank you everyone for the support and advice. This is the only place I could turn to that understands. You guys are all amazing. I can't take your money, the fact that you guys are offering support means the world to me and gives me hope that this world hasn't completely turned to shit. That is seriously one of the nicest things I have ever had happen to me, and I cant tell you how much I appreciate it and how much it means to me.
I did find a place to park my car, and its close enough that I can still use it to drive to the clinic and to work. My landlord works across the street from my house at a commercial medical building that does like x rays and stuff and said I can park it there. So I won't be getting anymore tickets hopefully! Just gotta find a way to get my tag and pay the ticket soon!
I haven't gotten word back if I will lose my license for a year, or if I will have to keep my breathalyzer for 9 months and pay $1000. Either way it sucks, I am mentally breaking and I am glad that I found this forum when I did because most of my family has their own shit going on and can't help me. I just don't want to goto prison, or become homeless which right now are both pretty good possibilities. Just 3 days a go everything was going pretty good and then one thing happens and my worlds upside down.
My grandpa had his spleen taken out and has been in the hospital for the last 2 weeks so my grandma who is my main source for mental comfort has been going through a tough time.The rest of my family doesn't really have much to say besides you have so much to live for don't kill yourself. Other than that I don't hear anything from them. No advice on what to do, nothing encouraging, just don't kill yourself probably because they can sense that they are the only reason I haven't.
This year fucking sucked, its like I have been in a constant state of being bent of a barrel and super depressed. Anytime something good happens 8 bad things happen and remind me of who I am and put me in my place. I guess I played out all my good luck or life just wants everything to be really shitty so that I can enjoy life later when it is normal.
I really can't thank you guys enough for helping me! not only for breaking things down and explaining to me what I need to do and how its not the end of the world but you guys even offered to help me financially which is just awesome! I will hopefully get through this if just 2 or 3 things go right I will be back to normal. I just gotta lay it out step by step. Seriously thank you all so much I am so glad I have this place to turn to because without I would be completely alone with no hope, and nothing to calm me down.
I just gotta make a list do it and pray that It all works out and that I don't end up in prison or homeless. The plus side is I live in the only county in colorado that dispenses methadone in jail. However if I do goto jail I will probably get transferred to the county I am on probation in for violating my probation. Because they can violate me now for having police contact even though there was no contact the dickhead just put a ticket in my door.
Pay the stupid ass government for my ticket
Pay the stupid ass government again for a new tag
pay the stupid ass government for putting me on probation instead of in prison
pay the stupid ass government for fines from when they arrested me
plead with the breathalyzer people and pray they have some kind of glitch where they don't see this ticket and let me get my breathalyzer out so I only have to pay them $160 instead of $800
Pray the government lets me back in school again
use that money to pay off all debt
begin step 1 of taking over planet.
but seriously you guys are amazing and I was seriously breaking down this morning getting to the point where things start getting destroyed and reading this thread gave me a real inner peace that I can get through this. Yes it does suck but there is a chance that I can make it out of this without going to prison or being homeless. Even if it is a small chance there is a chance. I just gotta figure out a way to put everyone off for a few months.
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Take the ticket to traffic court and setup a payment plan.
Or, if you have a spare 50 or 60 bucks a traffic lawyer will almost always get it taken care of totally.
There are plenty of ex-offender organizations that work with local businesses. They'll help you get a bond that will cover any risk perceived by an employer. At the very least to get a living wage.
You've got an intoxilyzer in your car? I didn't know they still used those.
Keep your head up my friend, things will get better.
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Yeah even though I haven't drank in almost 3 years when I got my DUI for being on methadone in march they suspended my license for 9 months. They told me if I wait 30 days I could get a breathalyzer and that I could have a restricted license and if I didn't get any tickets or have fail any breathalyzers for alcohol I could get my license reinstated after 5 months.
January would of been 5 months and I could of gotten it out but sense I got the ticket for the expired tag, I will either get my license suspended for 9 months or I will have to keep the breathalyzer in my car for 9 months. It costs $92 a month to have in my car, so getting the $75 ticket, 3 weeks before I was supposed to get the breathalyzer out and get my license back really is going to cost me $828 plus the $75 for the ticket and $100 for the tag.
It fucked me badly, on top of that sense I am on probation for the Methadone dui, getting a ticket counts as police contact so my PO can revoke my probation, giving me another misdemeanor. As well as make me do my 5 days of jail time that was suspended and I can be re-sentenced which could result in prison time up to 5 years. Or they can give me probation and restart the 18 months once I finish my court stuff.
My p.o. doesn't have to revoke my probation she can just give me a warning for it, and the DMV could allow me to not have to pay the ticket if I get the tag renewed and let me have my breathalyzer out and go on my merry way. But in reality that is a not very likely because the way the dmv sees it is, we can let this guy go with only paying us for the ticket and tag or we can make him pay the $75 ticket, the $100 tag, and $830 for the breathalyzer.
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Here is a tip:
If you get an ignition interlock be sure the place that installs it uses DRAGER http://www.draeger.com/sites/enus_us/Pages/Ignition-Interlock/Welcome.aspx devices. I had to havee on for a yar after my 1st offense and did some research before choosing an interlock company. Avoid Intoxalock if you can. Drager has the best tech, with fwest false positives and less frequent "random" tests demanded while driving.
Remember, these are the brands of the devices, not the names of the local installers. Shop around and make sure they have things like nearby monthly radout stations and roadside service. Don't use any company that makes you Fed-Ex the Check the local vendor reviews on Yelp becasue some of these guys think they are "Junior G-Men" and there to enforce your sobriety, others recognize it is what it is and just something to get through.
They are an embarrasing PITA and if you are like me you'll find yourself parking away from everyone else so they don't have to ssee you blow into it to start your car.
Trust me on this one.
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Unfortunately I didn't do research when I got my ignition interlock device in August and I have intoxolock. They are the absolute worst. They suck, I got a false positive for hand soap, and even though I had passed when I blew to start my car, 5 minutes later while I was driving I blew and failed, and then I passed again 2 minutes later.
Even though I have a camera in my car so they know it was me blowing and I passed 5 minutes before and 2 minutes after I failed. I still had to pay $75 to keep them from locking me out. I have had a ton of problems with it, when its cold I have to wait 3 minutes for it to let me blow to turn on my car and it is super touchy with how hard or soft you blow or if you blow to early or to late.
Their customer service is awful too, every time I have called them it has been at least a 10 minute wait. When I needed to change my battery 2 weeks ago I tried to call them twice and I stayed on hold for 45 minutes both times and didn't get to talk to anyone before I hung up. I ended up having to email them to get a response. They suck!
I decided to go with them because they offered a free install and free first month. What they don't tell you is there is a $175 activation fee which costs more than a month and install at all the other companies. It is $87 a month for the service plus you have to take it in once a month for a recalibration which is $15 each time. They suck horribly. I wish I had done research.
That is why this stupid ass parking ticket sucks so much. If I didn't have the breathalyzer and restricted license it wouldn't be that big of deal. But the terms of my restricted license is that I can't have any tickets and have to have a breathalyzer to be able have it. If I don't have any hot BAs or tickets I can get it out in 5 months but if not I have to have it for the whole 9 months.
So if they hold this parking ticket against me I will have to have my breathalyzer in my car for 9 more months instead of getting it out next month like I am supposed to. Hopefully I can switch companies if I have to keep it in for the 9 months which is probably what will happen because they are going to want to get as much money as they can off of me.
If everything worked out perfectly and I was very lucky they would drop the ticket in return for me getting my a new tag and then not hold it against me so I could get my breathalyzer out next month. If not it will cost me $1000 which I don't have because I have $90 in probation fees, rent, phone bill, gas, dui classes plus sr-22 insurance so if I don't pay my insurance my license will be suspended for an entire year without the chance of getting it back.
All these bills are impossible to pay on minimum wage especially sense I have to do 50 hours of community service and will hopefully be back in school next month. I can't find a better job with my record, I don't understand how they expect me to make it. I am set to fail especially when they come around to fuck me every chance they get.
I shouldn't of even been arrested the first time around and if I wouldn't of been on probation I wouldn't of got arrested the second time. I only had one month of probation left when I got arrested the second time. It is like they wait until you are almost done and they fuck you again.
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I don't know if anyone here understands what it's like to be in the spiral of anguish that is the criminal justice system when your poor and have no one to turn to, but trust me buddy, I really do feel your pain. We have different situations and different outcomes but we're both being fucked by the money factory that is the law and probation.
Hope shit gets better for you man. At least you have a job for now, thats a really good thing. I can't even get a job at walmart or pizza hut delivering pizzas! And I have no felonies! So feel lucky about that my man.
Sometimes I see my cat looking at police stations and cop cars fantasizing about watching them burn to the ground. Then I tell my cat it will solve nothing and they'll just rebuild it. My cat has issues.
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Hey Grif-
I really think that if you get your tag re-newed, and bring it to court-they will likely drop it.
good luck!!
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I got denied by walmart and pizza hut as well with no felonies. It is such bs how people are treated here because of the judicial system. It is definitely who you know not what you know. Hope things look better for you its good to know that others are making it through the struggle successfully I feel for you good luck with it all and I hope one day I can make changes to help people who are in our position.
I am one of the few people who smiles when police die, I am fucked up for it I know, but chances are they were on their way to fuck someones life up completely or kill someone. I am really hoping that I can learn another language and move out of this country to a place that doesn't try to destroy you.
People wonder why everyone hates the united states. It is because we go around the world killing people, policing the world, trying to tell everyone what to do. We started this whole thing with terrorism and the war in iraq and afganistan. If we just stop being so millitant and trying to run the world we would be a lot better off. Unfortunately it is probably to late, we have pissed off so many countries and people that they will always hate us.
Americans are idiots for the most part, we are one of the dumbest 1st world countries. Are education system is lacking and compared to other countries we are quite stupid. We are so arrogant and think we are always right and that we have the right to bully everyone and tell them how to live. All this has caused is death, now we send 18 year old kids over seas to die so that we can stay rich or become rich and they think they are fighting for our freedom.
They are willing to kill on the premise that we are in danger and they are helping us out and keeping others from infringing on out rights, but it is the complete opposite. We are sending them over there to die so that we can infringe on others countries rights, make rich american people more money, have more rights and access to oil, and exploit and bully other countries.
Then these veterans come home and don't get any support from the government and are left to fend for themselves. They see horrific things and often times disagree with why they were over there and believe they were in the wrong and killed people so that rich people can make more money. They don't get any respect and are treated terribly by the government that they risked there lives for on the premise to keep our country safe.
The argument for cops is that they are just doing their jobs and that they didn't make the laws they are just enforcing them. They just want to make the country a safer place when often times the only danger is the police. The only thing we fear in our neighborhood is the cops. I understand they didn't make the laws but they are enforcing them but that is horse shit. They are stealing from their own citizens, putting them in cages and treating them like animals, and making everyone fear them.
They break into peoples houses with guns yelling and screaming, after throwing flash grenades and smoke bombs in a house. The have guns pointed in peoples faces even children, shoot dog all because people are smoking pot, or doing drugs in the comfort of their own home. They put people through terrible traumatic events and are happy about it, a lot of them get off on hurting other people and being on a power trip where they are impervious to the law.
They basically get to do whatever they want and not get in trouble. Them, their friends, and their family get off without any punishment for doing the same thing that people are beaten, shot, and throw in cages for. Unless you are rich or connected to the government you are the enemy and have no rights. If you were to do half of the things these people did you would be in prison for life or shot and killed. They are on a rampage and with no worry of recourse or punishment and can get away with anything.
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OMFG don't get me started!
That totally sucks about your parking tickets!
I have a major resentment against these lily-white people (I don't mean White in the racial sense, just free from having a record) who can get jobs working for the US mail and all kinds of other ish that's off-limits to me, because I told a few lies over the phone.
Shit, I tried to get a job pushing shopping carts at Wal-Mart and they wouldn't hire me because of my "criminal" record. I talked to the HR lady about it and she said Wal-Mart doesn't hire ANYONE with felonies. I was like I don't believe that for a SECOND. You mean out of all those carnival freaks out there working in this store, none of them have a criminal record? WTF?
Totally fucked.
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Hahah, you couldn't staff a Walmart down here if that was the case. Zoops you haven't looked into the federal bonding stuff?
Edit: Actually come to think of it, although not a pleasing job, the hospitals here that I frequent use a huge national staffing company. The guy who was cleaning up my room a few months ago he would never be able to get a job working for the hospital. He said he was getting 11 an hour with benefits.
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I always chuckle a little when I hear the words "Police just want to make our country a safe place". I wouldn't be surprised if that for every person they take off the streets in cuffs that was a danger to someone or society, 99 other people they had in those same cuffs were non-violent or straight up innocent. I really don't think they give a fuck who's life they ruin.
In the past two months, I've seen two family member houses get broken into, and both times the cops straight up refused to take a report. REFUSED. HOW IS THAT LEGAL?!?!
First time my BIL's apartment got broken into and someone took his ps4 and tv. They literally said they couldn't do anything because he couldn't prove they belonged to him! He should have recorded serial numbers and took pictures yes, but for them to straight up say they didn't give a shit is wrong.
Second was my own mother, she went to do laundry in plain daylight and had 500 dollars taken from her place. And she lives two blocks away, in sight of, the county jail/sheriff station. Again, the useless assholes said they couldn't prove she even had money taken, and she may have trashed her own house!!!!
Fuck this place. For the love of god people, don't ever move or even visit small town oklahoma. I just want to get the fuck out. Never return.
I was watching that live verdict last night about this cop who molested and raped many many women on the job and off. Has anyone heard of that? Daniel Hotsclaw or something. He got 200 plus years and I was so happy. Serves him right. Seriously fucked up what he did.
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Hahah, you couldn't staff a Walmart down here if that was the case. Zoops you haven't looked into the federal bonding stuff?
Edit: Actually come to think of it, although not a pleasing job, the hospitals here that I frequent use a huge national staffing company. The guy who was cleaning up my room a few months ago he would never be able to get a job working for the hospital. He said he was getting 11 an hour with benefits.
Walmart has a thing they tell people, they call it non-competitive results. But they don't actually tell you what that means! Lows did the same thing to me.
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I always chuckle a little when I hear the words "Police just want to make our country a safe place". I wouldn't be surprised if that for every person they take off the streets in cuffs that was a danger to someone or society, 99 other people they had in those same cuffs were non-violent or straight up innocent. I really don't think they give a fuck who's life they ruin.
In the past two months, I've seen two family member houses get broken into, and both times the cops straight up refused to take a report. REFUSED. HOW IS THAT LEGAL?!?!
First time my BIL's apartment got broken into and someone took his ps4 and tv. They literally said they couldn't do anything because he couldn't prove they belonged to him! He should have recorded serial numbers and took pictures yes, but for them to straight up say they didn't give a shit is wrong.
Second was my own mother, she went to do laundry in plain daylight and had 500 dollars taken from her place. And she lives two blocks away, in sight of, the county jail/sheriff station. Again, the useless assholes said they couldn't prove she even had money taken, and she may have trashed her own house!!!!
Fuck this place. For the love of god people, don't ever move or even visit small town oklahoma. I just want to get the fuck out. Never return.
I was watching that live verdict last night about this cop who molested and raped many many women on the job and off. Has anyone heard of that? Daniel Hotsclaw or something. He got 200 plus years and I was so happy. Serves him right. Seriously fucked up what he did.
I totally relate, man.
My moms car was stolen by my sisters boyfriend and the cops wouldn't do shit. They basically said because my mom lent my sister the car she could of let him borrow it. Wtf? My sister is the one who called them first off to say he stole the car!
They don't give a fuck.
And that holtzclaw guy is just the type of shitbag that becomes a cop for all the wrong reasons. Bullies, psychos, sociopaths and perverts all with small penis syndrome and no heart flock to law enforcement as a career. It's perfect for them.
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St. T-
Boy, you can say that again-what a twisted shit!!! I hope he can continue his modest sex life with his new friends and enjoys a little forced oral and anal sodomy from bubba!!
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Griffin, I am still concerned about your mental state - have you addressed your car issues and are you any happier now ?
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I am doing much better, I got a raise at the job I got fired from because they realized they can't really make it without me right now. I am hoping that maybe my family will help me pay my ticket, so I can use my check on rent, my ticket goes from $75-$150 on the 28th of this month.
Next month I will be reviewed by the dmv and see if I will still have to keep my breathalyzer in my car for 5 more months. I really hope I get it out I hate that thing with a passion. I will know in the next 2 weeks if I am going to be able to start school in January, praying I do because that is like my ticket to happiness right now.
My PO was okay with me getting the ticket, she denied my travel request sense I got it though, and am financially fucked if I don't get back in school next month. I don't think I was going to be able to go see my family but thats not the point, her telling me no makes me want leave a komodo dragon in her house.
I had my UA for the month on the 5th, so I got to smoke some weed for the first time in 25 months so not everything was terrible I had a good few days this month. My landlord also told me he really likes me and that he got the final date I got to be out is March.
He has another place and asked if I wanted to live there when I move out of here. It's more expensive so I gotta see if I can afford it but he might let me have it for what I am paying now. It is good because it is month to month so it is nice knowing I won't be trying to find housing here because the housing market is bananas right now. I am pretty sure there is still 20,000 people moving here each month.
The only bad part is he comes to where I live now every single day, and he is awkward. He works across the street so I don't know if he will be at the other place all the time because that is something I don't like. He throws his parties here to which is weird to me too. His son lives in the basement in the room next to mine. I just don't see why he doesn't have his parties at his own house that seems like the normal thing to do.
I also want to find a place I can have my dog, not having her sucks. The cheapest thing I have found is a studio for $800 everything is $1000+ a month. Maybe if the new place my landlord has doesn't work out I can find a place with roommates where I can have my dog. Because I pay $450 a month now and it includes all my utilities, electric, internet, all the goods and that is about as much as I can afford on minimum wage.
I have a good feeling about next year though. Everything is just going to be amazing, I am going to go back to school, find a cheap place I can have my dog, find a good job that I like maybe at a dispensary or a grow warehouse sense I've got experience and know a few people who do it. Then they are going to let me off probation early and I am going to celebrate but not to much and enjoy a month long bender then hop back on the methadone train.
Thanks for checking in on me chipper, these last few months have been hard on me, actually the whole year kind of blew but as long as I don't goto prison I don't see it getting any worse. I don't have anyone to talk to about all this shit, and of course everything always happens all at once to see if will break me and it did.
However there were a few awesome people from the forum that checked in on me and it was nice to talk to someone who understands and can relate and give good advice so thank you everyone who reached out you have no idea how much you helped!
I appreciate you guys helping me through it, being alone on the holidays is not so fun and everything had to have a grand explosion of fuckedness to end the year but I am through it. Ready for next year I just gotta get my school loan approved and I will be stress free on the road to happiness.
Seriously though everyone thank you for checking on me and giving me solid advice and helping me through this, hopefully it all works out but even it doesn't I am sure there will be some good I can get out of it. Happy holidays everyone please be safe!
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That's a much more positive Griffin than the one starting in this thread.
I take all people who post in this board very seriously but then to see them cheer up is a wonderful thing.
good for you, Griffin :):):)
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We like having you dude
see good thing
It's as always gonna get betrter
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I am doing much better, I got a raise at the job I got fired from because they realized they can't really make it without me right now. I am hoping that maybe my family will help me pay my ticket, so I can use my check on rent, my ticket goes from $75-$150 on the 28th of this month.
Well, that's encouraging. I usually get a little bummed out this time of year, not sure why, and it comes and goes. I was a little worried about ya too, but we are a resilient bunch. I'm sure things will work out.