Men Only Thread +plus a POLL for a Men's Only Board

[candy]

Dividing the site is not going to happen.
The women's only section was not meant to discriminate against the men of this site, but to give the ladies here a place to post where they could feel safe.
Women do have specific needs and are marginalized when it comes to addiction
Women are vulnerable to a list of problems that are associated with addiction and if we can offer them a place here where they
can share with other women and feel safe to do so, then we have met that goal.

I don't have a problem with the men having a section to discuss their own problems or issues they may be facing, but not if it is only in response to the women having their own password protected area.
We want nothing more than this board to be a democracy, but this area for women only is not meant to prove a point or to stir up a discussion on dividing the board, it is a place for women to discuss the many issues that they may not feel comfortable discussing with the men here.

Now, why is this such an issue.
Do the men here really want an area for themselves, password protected, or is this just about equality?

[Elevated]

Now, why is this such an issue.
Do the men here really want an area for themselves, password protected, or is this just about equality?

I just don't understand why the women need this any more than the men (neither need it, imo, but if you're going to have one - you should have both).  Are you saying women are inherently thinner-skinned than men when it comes to "rude" or "offensive" comments? 

I don't even see why that would be an issue to begin with though.  If someone is being outright offensive or rude, warn them and delete the comment!

This is about equality, to be honest.  As I said before, by locking a certain sex out of a certain forum you're assuming that the entirety of that sex is going to act in a foul way and that isn't fair.

I'd honestly be curious about certain women's issues, why should I be denied that right because a few individuals decided to post things the women of this board didn't like?

[Chip]

I think that it's about privacy such as discussing male "plumbing" issues etc.

[Thoms]

Lol me and hero should get 5 voes each and the ryan like2.5



Im a dick i know...but i think its funny..



Btw i didnt vote. . its whatever.

[Zoops]

Seriously, I think Mr. Elevated crystallized my thoughts quite well. Why would you say that one sex needs to have a protected forum, but the other doesn't? That's just plain unfair. And it's specifically unfair to WOMEN, suggesting by inference that they need to have protected status and men don't. This is the internet, and physical strength or size are meaningless here. Oh but the poor, downtrodden and weak females of the species need to have their own little special place where they can talk about their periods, chronic never ending UTIs and being constipated...Imagine!

I'd like to be able to talk about "nocturnal emissions" fer crissake without inspiring giggles from the back row.

And if the men's secret forum just doesn't get used as much, then that's our prerogative, but at least give us a level playing field.

It doesn't cost anything extra.

Double standards fucking piss me off.

Like this is the first time I've ever commented on this thread (I think), but I should have the option, if need be, or if I just simply want to vent to just dudes about a specific, sexually-based problem, or even crow about a recent conquest I've made, I should be able to. Away from the prying eyes of our dear female counterparts, that is (and those eyes can be pretty damn prying, sometimes).

Then we can talk about all the sick sexually perverted issues that plague us, without fear of reproach, inspiring discord, or just plain disgust. LOL, Jk on the sick sexually perverted stuff.

Oh, and one more thing and I'll stop modifying my post - what's with all the people who refuse to identify with a gender? Do we have that many neuter people on here?

cis male and proud of it - represent!

And since when should a women get to have a say in whether or not men get their own subforum?

And also I don't think making a men's only board would start us down the road to lefties only, Geminis only, ad infinitum. That's just silly to suggest.

Of course men's only topics wouldn't be nearly as popular with the men of the community as women's only topics are with the women but who does that hurt? Nobody. I can completely understand why women would want their own private space to discuss whatever they want, but it just smacks of sexism to not give the same privilege to men.

[Sand and Water]

Seriously, I think Mr. Elevated crystallized my thoughts quite well. Why would you say that one sex needs to have a protected forum, but the other doesn't? That's just plain unfair. And it's specifically unfair to WOMEN, suggesting by inference that they need to have protected status and men don't. This is the internet, and physical strength or size are meaningless here. Oh but the poor, downtrodden and weak females of the species need to have their own little special place where they can talk about their periods, chronic never ending UTIs and being constipated...Imagine!

I'd like to be able to talk about "nocturnal emissions" fer crissake without inspiring giggles from the back row.

And if the men's secret forum just doesn't get used as much, then that's our prerogative, but at least give us a level playing field.

It doesn't cost anything extra.

Double standards fucking piss me off.

Like this is the first time I've ever commented on this thread (I think), but I should have the option, if need be, or if I just simply want to vent to just dudes about a specific, sexually-based problem, or even crow about a recent conquest I've made, I should be able to. Away from the prying eyes of our dear female counterparts, that is (and those eyes can be pretty damn prying, sometimes).

Then we can talk about all the sick sexually perverted issues that plague us, without fear of reproach, inspiring discord, or just plain disgust. LOL, Jk on the sick sexually perverted stuff.

Oh, and one more thing and I'll stop modifying my post - what's with all the people who refuse to identify with a gender? Do we have that many neuter people on here?

cis male and proud of it - represent!

And since when should a women get to have a say in whether or not men get their own subforum?

And also I don't think making a men's only board would start us down the road to lefties only, Geminis only, ad infinitum. That's just silly to suggest.

Of course men's only topics wouldn't be nearly as popular with the men of the community as women's only topics are with the women but who does that hurt? Nobody. I can completely understand why women would want their own private space to discuss whatever they want, but it just smacks of sexism to not give the same privilege to men.

Zoops i like and respect you. But I cant agree with your remarks about women's needing their own special little place to discuss UTI's etc. That's just missing the point.

We didnt start out the gate with a password. It was only after multiple REQUESTS that the derails, crude offensive remarks were ignored that it happened. Because those request were ignored and no meaningful dialogue could happen. Im sorry that some guys just can't see it, but the reality is that certain topics for us women in this community like infest, rape, pregnancy and the like are VERY sensitive.

I'll give a hypothetical (based on some of the comments that KEPT happening) example based on reality--
Female member is asking about breast feeding her baby (may or may not have to do w/while in active addiction). Starts to get feedback from other women who have breastfed etc.  Some guys come in and the catcalls etc about liking big tits etc start. And don't stop.

How likely is a female addict going to feel comfortable reaching out for feedback on getting out of sex work while supporting a toddler as a single mom after reading stuff like in my example?  What about those who are addicted and in an abusive relationship and rely on the guy for drugs/money etc? When the derails happen, the focus is taken away from the one asking for advice/feedback etc and after awhile, a lot of us women just stopped trying to go against the tide. Remember, the ratio of men to women here is pretty large; i believe it was 7:1 when the password was finally put up.

I completely understand some guys saying its not "fair", but one of two things happened to cause this stink imo. Either you read the comments and said nothing. OR you didn't read them and have no idea what was posted before a password was finally put in place. And despite what I think are very clear reasons this exception was made, those who say "i don't get it" may never. All I ask is that folks reflect on being a pregnant addict or other unique to women situations & consider that even if one doesn't "get it", doesn't make "it" invalid and something to be mocked.

Many, many of the men here are great, and I respect and get a lot out of what they have to say. However, women ARE marginalized. Consider this:  how many times just in the last *week* has someone posted "cunt", "thundercunt",  "that stupid bitch" and on and on here? It's so common no one blinks.

But my feeling is if you were asked IRL if you'd let/support someone speaking that way to or about women, and your (not you personally Zoops; generally speaking) answer is "oh no, I respect women and wouldn't tolerate that" or some such, why is it different here?

I IN NO WAY FEEL THIS WAY--I'm giving comparable examples ONLY!!! 
Now, what would the reaction of this community be had these routinely used derogatory words in posts been replaced with "stupid fudge packer", "limp wristed moron", "fuck off you "N" word", or "dumbass trannies"?  Can you see how we would be in an uproar if that actually happened?

I truly don't think most guys here *mean* to be derogatory or disrespectful to women (& Im not interested in being all "PC" -- I'm just asking for people to consider *maybe* there are some double standards already.  As a member, Im asking that it not grow even larger. Treat us women just like you were treated w/regards to any password etc. IF women disrupt etc, THEN adjust it.

I love this community and life is hard enough without what is starting to come off to me as "he/she got more than me..no fair!!"  Sincere thanks for hearing me out on this.

[thetalkingasshole]

After reading these replies
I cant really see any need for this any more

[Anti-hero (OP)]

Seriously, I think Mr. Elevated crystallized my thoughts quite well. Why would you say that one sex needs to have a protected forum, but the other doesn't? That's just plain unfair. And it's specifically unfair to WOMEN, suggesting by inference that they need to have protected status and men don't. This is the internet, and physical strength or size are meaningless here. Oh but the poor, downtrodden and weak females of the species need to have their own little special place where they can talk about their periods, chronic never ending UTIs and being constipated...Imagine!

I'd like to be able to talk about "nocturnal emissions" fer crissake without inspiring giggles from the back row.

And if the men's secret forum just doesn't get used as much, then that's our prerogative, but at least give us a level playing field.

It doesn't cost anything extra.

Double standards fucking piss me off.

Like this is the first time I've ever commented on this thread (I think), but I should have the option, if need be, or if I just simply want to vent to just dudes about a specific, sexually-based problem, or even crow about a recent conquest I've made, I should be able to. Away from the prying eyes of our dear female counterparts, that is (and those eyes can be pretty damn prying, sometimes).

Then we can talk about all the sick sexually perverted issues that plague us, without fear of reproach, inspiring discord, or just plain disgust. LOL, Jk on the sick sexually perverted stuff.

Oh, and one more thing and I'll stop modifying my post - what's with all the people who refuse to identify with a gender? Do we have that many neuter people on here?

cis male and proud of it - represent!

And since when should a women get to have a say in whether or not men get their own subforum?

And also I don't think making a men's only board would start us down the road to lefties only, Geminis only, ad infinitum. That's just silly to suggest.

Of course men's only topics wouldn't be nearly as popular with the men of the community as women's only topics are with the women but who does that hurt? Nobody. I can completely understand why women would want their own private space to discuss whatever they want, but it just smacks of sexism to not give the same privilege to men.

Zoops i like and respect you. But I cant agree with your remarks about women's needing their own special little place to discuss UTI's etc. That's just missing the point.

We didnt start out the gate with a password. It was only after multiple REQUESTS that the derails, crude offensive remarks were ignored that it happened. Because those request were ignored and no meaningful dialogue could happen. Im sorry that some guys just can't see it, but the reality is that certain topics for us women in this community like infest, rape, pregnancy and the like are VERY sensitive.

I'll give a hypothetical (based on some of the comments that KEPT happening) example based on reality--
Female member is asking about breast feeding her baby (may or may not have to do w/while in active addiction). Starts to get feedback from other women who have breastfed etc.  Some guys come in and the catcalls etc about liking big tits etc start. And don't stop.

How likely is a female addict going to feel comfortable reaching out for feedback on getting out of sex work while supporting a toddler as a single mom after reading stuff like in my example?  What about those who are addicted and in an abusive relationship and rely on the guy for drugs/money etc? When the derails happen, the focus is taken away from the one asking for advice/feedback etc and after awhile, a lot of us women just stopped trying to go against the tide. Remember, the ratio of men to women here is pretty large; i believe it was 7:1 when the password was finally put up.

I completely understand some guys saying its not "fair", but one of two things happened to cause this stink imo. Either you read the comments and said nothing. OR you didn't read them and have no idea what was posted before a password was finally put in place. And despite what I think are very clear reasons this exception was made, those who say "i don't get it" may never. All I ask is that folks reflect on being a pregnant addict or other unique to women situations & consider that even if one doesn't "get it", doesn't make "it" invalid and something to be mocked.

Many, many of the men here are great, and I respect and get a lot out of what they have to say. However, women ARE marginalized. Consider this:  how many times just in the last *week* has someone posted "cunt", "thundercunt",  "that stupid bitch" and on and on here? It's so common no one blinks.

But my feeling is if you were asked IRL if you'd let/support someone speaking that way to or about women, and your (not you personally Zoops; generally speaking) answer is "oh no, I respect women and wouldn't tolerate that" or some such, why is it different here?

I IN NO WAY FEEL THIS WAY--I'm giving comparable examples ONLY!!! 
Now, what would the reaction of this community be had these routinely used derogatory words in posts been replaced with "stupid fudge packer", "limp wristed moron", "fuck off you "N" word", or "dumbass trannies"?  Can you see how we would be in an uproar if that actually happened?

I truly don't think most guys here *mean* to be derogatory or disrespectful to women (& Im not interested in being all "PC" -- I'm just asking for people to consider *maybe* there are some double standards already.  As a member, Im asking that it not grow even larger. Treat us women just like you were treated w/regards to any password etc. IF women disrupt etc, THEN adjust it.

I love this community and life is hard enough without what is starting to come off to me as "he/she got more than me..no fair!!"  Sincere thanks for hearing me out on this.

So men don't suffer problems
Unique to the
Especially if you are a wm

Well I was trying to be nice
But once I read the word
Mansplaining
I wanted a mens only section
MANSPLAINING
THAT LIKE SAYING LET ME
(Mod Edit:)DUMB IT DOWN (End of Edit.) FOR YOU
I DON'T EVEN THINK WOMEN SHOULD BE ON THIS THREAD
HINCE THE NEED FOR A PASSWORD.
SO SAND AND WATER YOU OPINION MEANS SQUAT IN THIS THREAD

GO TO THE LADIES THREAD AND COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW WE WANT OUR OWN PLACE
JFC

[Elevated]

We didnt start out the gate with a password. It was only after multiple REQUESTS that the derails, crude offensive remarks were ignored that it happened. Because those request were ignored and no meaningful dialogue could happen.

Why can we not ban the offenders instead of banning an entire sex from the board?  It wasn't all men who created the problem, I would be willing to guess it wasn't even a large percentage of men who created the problem.

If certain people can't be polite in the "safe" space the women want, ban those members from the board - not the entire gender because of a few bad apples.

*Edit*

And just to follow-up on another point you made...

I completely understand some guys saying its not "fair", but one of two things happened to cause this stink imo. Either you read the comments and said nothing. OR you didn't read them and have no idea what was posted before a password was finally put in place.

You're right, I never even got the chance to read the comments - but that's pretty much my point - it wasn't the entirety of men causing the problems.  "Cat-calling" and making jokes about big tits in a breast feeding thread is something that would never even cross my mind, but by keeping all men out of your special board, you're basically saying I would act that way.

[Anti-hero (OP)]

This was not about some one saying something that would offend me. It was about discussing things I'm not comfortable talking to women about.
I don't know why this has to be put to a vote
It wasn't when the tables were turned
So let's have another poll to see if the
Women's only thread should stay.

I am big bad man do I should tough it out right?

[Elevated]

This was not about some one saying something that would offend me. It was about discussing things I'm not comfortable talking to women about.
I don't know why this has to be put to a vote
It wasn't when the tables were turned
So let's have another poll to see if the
Women's only thread should stay.

I am big bad man do I should tough it out right?

I wouldn't want to take away the women's-only board if it's helping women, but on the same token I don't feel like I should be banned from it.  Women's issues are just another interesting aspect of the forum I would like to browse and it feels like I'm being excluded just because I'm a man and a select few men decided to act like boys.

[St. Theresa]

IF this is such an issue then get rid of it and direct women to a different women exclusive forum. I can give some links the mods or admin that are safe forums for women to go to and there are specific boards for drug users, just sucks having to go start in a different place...but I wouldn't want elevated to miss out on any problems us chicks are having. Lol

[DeadCat]

As long as it isn't used as a place for encouraging hostlity toward women I don't se the problem.

Isn't it a little ironic that nobody abjected to the women-only board but opening a men's boardis such a tortured process.? Men an women are different. That's not a bad thing. I think most men would have something to discuss that they might not bring up if they knew women were reading and possible "judging" them if they are afrraid that their comments or questions make them look weak or insnsitive when they simply just don't know something.

I suspect most of the omments will have very  little to do with women, especially in a critical way. I just pity the guy who ask "What's a clitoris?" (that was a joke)

Men are encouraged not to show weakness or uncertainty or "feminine" qualities. Yet, men have many of the same emotions and "insecurities" typically attributed towomen but for fear of looking "soft" they won't talk aout them. Having a web space where w could let our gaurd down or where the more experienced meale mebers could "school" the younger ones in a more private way would probably be on balance a net plus.

Again , as long as it doesn't allow misogyinistic talk, I am all for it.

[Elevated]

IF this is such an issue then get rid of it and direct women to a different women exclusive forum. I can give some links the mods or admin that are safe forums for women to go to and there are specific boards for drug users, just sucks having to go start in a different place...but I wouldn't want elevated to miss out on any problems us chicks are having. Lol

I'm not trying to cause problems, honestly.  I like what you post, St. T. and you seem like a great person,  I just feel a bit excluded unfairly - I'm sorry you find that funny.  Women's issues are just as interesting as men's issues to me.  Is that really so hard to understand?

This really underlines what I'm talking about - you act as if the problems you "chicks" are having are something that we shouldn't be allowed to see or read about.  I don't feel that's the case.  I would like to know about the issues you're having and I don't feel like being a man should exclude me from that.

Should we lock people out of the amphetamine forum if they don't use amphetamines?

[Zoops]

@ S & W, that comment that I made last night about women wanting their own subforum just so they can talk about UTIs was hyperbole (exaggeration), of course.

But really, who does it hurt to let men have a little place where they can talk about wet dreams or impotence, or ballsack pain, without having to be self-conscious about some random chick reading it and having a laugh? I mean if it doesn't ever even get used, that doesn't matter either because it's not like it would increase the hosting fees of this website.

Don't understand why the objection, even considering the manner in which the password-only women's subforum got instituted in the first place, because of a few bad actors making sophomoric comments. Lesson learned, then, don't let sex-exclusive subforums have co-ed access in the first place is the way I see it.

But all that aside, respect and peace S&W.

I can understand your point, Elevated, but the comparison of the quality of being of the female sex to amphetamine usage is inexact, because one represents a state of being, while the other is a behavior, which many would argue is completely voluntary (to some extent for sure it is).

[BamaPainGurl]

I understand my opinion means all of nothing in this thread, but I have to say two things: 1) it almost reads like more discord between the men on whether this is necessary or not, and 2) this is becoming almost painful to read. Why is this such a hard problem? Create the thing, put a password on it and vòila problem solved. Those who wanted it now have it and those who didn't think it was necessary have the bonus of griping about it behind closed doors. Or here where it's open. Can't we all just get along? That is all. ~ Lissa