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Author Topic: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort  (Read 30299 times)

Offline Tony

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #29 from previous page: September 12, 2016, 10:53:26 PM »
Hello Chipper,

I have not logged in for a while due to my own health problems. So when I saw this it really hit me. I can only imagine the
grief and pain you must feel. Please accept my sincere condolences.   

You are kind man. Your folks did a good job in raising you brother.

Kindest regards,

Tony 2016     
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Offline Guts

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #30 on: September 13, 2016, 12:10:11 AM »
Much love chipper... I love old pics... people used to dress so classy.
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Offline Chip (OP)

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #31 on: September 13, 2016, 01:00:10 AM »
Hello Chipper,

I have not logged in for a while due to my own health problems. So when I saw this it really hit me. I can only imagine the
grief and pain you must feel. Please accept my sincere condolences.   

You are kind man. Your folks did a good job in raising you brother.

Kindest regards,

Tony 2016     

Well that's one he'll of a compliment to my parents ! Thank you for that. I'm coping well but I am medicated and just waiting for the funeral to pass so closure is complete.
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Offline Chip (OP)

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #32 on: September 13, 2016, 01:01:22 AM »
Much love chipper... I love old pics... people used to dress so classy.

Thanks. Those original black and white, blurry shots have character, I agree.
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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #33 on: September 13, 2016, 07:05:47 AM »
Sorry that I missed this somehow Chipper.  My condolences.  I'm sure you have lots of great memories to remember him by, and that he will live on in you for many years to come.
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Offline Chip (OP)

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #34 on: September 13, 2016, 07:24:25 AM »
Sorry that I missed this somehow Chipper.  My condolences.  I'm sure you have lots of great memories to remember him by, and that he will live on in you for many years to come.

Thanks, Z. I didn't know him all that well but i will keep on trying to make him proud. He had a fabulous life so i'm at peace with it.
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Z

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #35 on: September 13, 2016, 07:47:23 AM »
I don't know my own father very well either.  I think that we all have our levels of comfort as far as being close to people.  We all express it in different ways as well.  For one person it is being close and intimate, and for another it's making a sacrifice to work all the time in order to do what needs doing.  I think that no matter what we are all a little unsatisfied with the form our childhood took.  The grass is greener and all that.


I'm sure that your Dad loved you all a great deal.  Older generations of men showed their love through their actions.  Spending 14 hours a day driving a taxi to support you guys is right up there with the ultimate declarations of love in the world.  He might not have known how to be there in a different way for you guys.  I know that it's only now that I have kids of my own that I understand my own father better.  Ironically it's only now that his father has died that he seems to be reaching out to me in a different way.


I think that you have to take people as they are.  I'm sure that your father showed you what he could of himself, and shared with you what he was able.  Remember the good times, and chalk up the  rest as a human being doing the best that they are able with the circumstances they are given.  If we all had TV lives, then we wouldn't need the tv to lie to us and create fantasy.
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Offline Chip (OP)

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #36 on: September 13, 2016, 08:55:53 AM »
Z, those are very thoughtful words and you are right about so many things.

I never had kids so i have that disadvantage but i always felt that there was plenty of love there; he just came from another country, another time and another culture and couldn't accept my/this lifestyle that brings us together, here.

But he was a top bloke and made people happy. He developed dementia in the last decade and that made him more unpredictable and less understanding but like i said earlier, he eventually forgave me.

That has made a huge difference to how i see him now and i am so thankful for that; it ended far better than i ever imagined.

Seeing the person and not the addict was a breakthrough moment.
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Offline nikita70

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #37 on: September 14, 2016, 10:49:24 AM »

(...)Older generations of men showed their love through their actions.  Spending 14 hours a day driving a taxi to support you guys is right up there with the ultimate declarations of love in the world. 
I think that you have to take people as they are.  I'm sure that your father showed you what he could of himself, and shared with you what he was able.  Remember the good times, and chalk up the  rest as a human being doing the best that they are able with the circumstances they are given.  If we all had TV lives, then we wouldn't need the tv to lie to us and create fantasy.

That's what my own Father has always emphasized, He was like "talk is cheap, the deed is what really matters."
He always pissed me off with it. So well, maybe my logorhea started as rebellion against it, lol. 



Much love chipper... I love old pics... people used to dress so classy.

That's what I thought, too, as I saw this photo.
And, in many ways (not saying always), they also used to BEHAVE/act classy-I mean they have known what rules and respect mean etc.

I'm sure that your Parents was this case.
Such a beautiful pair of people who loved and respected each other. It's visible like with a "naked eye".
So rare nowadays.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2016, 11:18:18 AM by nikita70 »
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Offline Fluffhead

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #38 on: September 14, 2016, 06:11:46 PM »
Chipper, I am sorry to hear of your father's passing.  I just wanted to tell you that you and your family are in my thoughts. I wish I could give you a hug.
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Offline Chip (OP)

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #39 on: September 14, 2016, 06:19:06 PM »
Thanks. I have people who are supporting me and now I'm more accepting of my loss.
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Offline DeadCat

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #40 on: September 15, 2016, 05:14:58 PM »
I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier Chipper. I messaged you about this topic before I saw it so check for that. I know you know why I didn't respond here sooner.

I hope that in the coming days those who knew him from before you were even born come forward and share  good  things about him with you. That was one of the best aspects of my grandfather's funeral.

It sounds from what you have written here that if he were  alive and lucidly talking to you he would tell you to "chin up" or "keep a stiff upper lip" because that sounds like what he did himself.

On a side note, it always amazes me to think of the things people who lived alost all of the last 100 years have seen. My grandftather went from deliving lumber from a horse drawn cart to leading a strike in the Depression to being a front line medic all the way across Europe  to watching the moon landings  and more. Change happens so fast and accellerates all the time and I am sure anyone reading this will die in a world completely different than the one we were born into.

« Last Edit: September 15, 2016, 05:59:07 PM by DeadCat »
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Offline Chip (OP)

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #41 on: September 15, 2016, 06:44:39 PM »
DC, we are keeping the funeral attendees down to a minimum, as per my dad's wishes and neither of us kids will be speaking; i have done it before and I just can't compose myself to do it without bursting into a blubbering mess.

He came from Hungary and escaped to NZ during the revolution in '56, I think it was and was nuts about soccer ... and HATED drugs and drug users so you can imagine how strained our relationship had been in the last couple of decades.

What he didn't see or comprehend was that I was a high functioning addict all throughout my working life so I never felt good enough for him.

As I said, he forgave me when I stuck by his side as soon as he started ailing so we ended the best way possible.

But don't worry about me, you now have to focus solely on your mother and her deteriorating condition.

DC, you have been good support via our PM's, I wanted to make that known. When you use a subcultural social tool like a drug HR forum, you never expect to get REAL support from the members but the conflict that drugs and family create is universal so I shouldn't be surprised.

This thread is almost over but I only just dreamed about my dad last night and it was totally cool ... the memory will always live on.

My mom is slowly ailing too now so I'll be spending much more time with her but it's quite a way to drive so there's that.

DC, keep us all posted about your mom, it really helps to share with not just myself, if you wish.

It's all about your mom now, my journey ends with tomorrow's funeral.
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Offline Chip (OP)

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #42 on: September 17, 2016, 12:43:58 AM »
And now it's all over. There is just the lingering sadness that seems to get worse as my dose wears off.

Farewell dad, I'll never forget you.

Thanks guys for sharing my journey, it's been a great comfort to me.
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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #43 on: September 21, 2016, 12:28:13 AM »
 :'(
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Offline Chip (OP)

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Re: Father Peacefully Passes Away with Dignity and in Much Comfort
« Reply #44 on: September 21, 2016, 05:20:11 AM »
:'(

:'( :'( :'( x 100 for me ! But it helps to work through the grieving phase, a family first for me.

Sorry to invoke a sad response.
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