Men Only Thread +plus a POLL for a Men's Only Board

[Chip]

we share the same view.

ideally, it would be mainly used to discuss embarrassing men only "conditions" or something appropriate.

*bump*

[Sand and Water]

Ok, first & foremost, Im giving my opinion as a member here. I think people are forgetting some facts about the women's subforum:

It was Candy's brainchild and a great idea. Unfortunately some guys posted and either derailed with crude and/or rude remarks that were really inappropriate OR generally took over the women's conversation(s). A lot.

To give Nark credit, although he did indeed post there multiple times, when he was politely reminded that it had finally been requested the guys just read IN ONE THREAD (not the whole subforum), Nark graciously apologized and refrained. Unfortunately, other male members, continued to disrupt the conversations and threads with offensive remarks and commentary, and women stopped posting as it certainly wasn't a place they felt comfortable. For the rest of the subforum, men were not prohibited from reading AND posting.

It wasn't until AFTER all this that a password was implemented.

What I would suggest is female members be given the same opportunity the men enjoyed in the women's subforum. IF women disrupt the men only subforum, THEN a password should be instituted. Treat us with the same courtesy and opportunity the men initially had with the women's section. This way, if it doesn't work, no one should feel they're being treated unevenly.

Just my opinion & I certainly hope this doesn't turn into some big "thing". All I'm asking is that we treat each other as equally as possible.

[Elevated]

Ok, first & foremost, Im giving my opinion as a member here. I think people are forgetting some facts about the women's subforum:

It was Candy's brainchild and a great idea. Unfortunately some guys posted and either derailed with crude and/or rude remarks that were really inappropriate OR generally took over the women's conversation(s). A lot.

To give Nark credit, although he did indeed post there multiple times, when he was politely reminded that it had finally been requested the guys just read IN ONE THREAD (not the whole subforum), Nark graciously apologized and refrained. Unfortunately, other male members, continued to disrupt the conversations and threads with offensive remarks and commentary, and women stopped posting as it certainly wasn't a place they felt comfortable. For the rest of the subforum, men were not prohibited from reading AND posting.

It wasn't until AFTER all this that a password was implemented.

What I would suggest is female members be given the same opportunity the men enjoyed in the women's subforum. IF women disrupt the men only subforum, THEN a password should be instituted. Treat us with the same courtesy and opportunity the men initially had with the women's section. This way, if it doesn't work, no one should feel they're being treated unevenly.

Just my opinion & I certainly hope this doesn't turn into some big "thing". All I'm asking is that we treat each other as equally as possible.

Wait, I thought the women's only sub-forum was password protected from the get-go and only women/mods/admins were able to browse it.  Am I wrong?

[Z]

 I voted for no password.  I find the password system cumbersome, and a barrier to entry that is unnecessary.

I think that this is part of the problem:

[Sand and Water]

Ok, first & foremost, Im giving my opinion as a member here. I think people are forgetting some facts about the women's subforum:

It was Candy's brainchild and a great idea. Unfortunately some guys posted and either derailed with crude and/or rude remarks that were really inappropriate OR generally took over the women's conversation(s). A lot.

To give Nark credit, although he did indeed post there multiple times, when he was politely reminded that it had finally been requested the guys just read IN ONE THREAD (not the whole subforum), Nark graciously apologized and refrained. Unfortunately, other male members, continued to disrupt the conversations and threads with offensive remarks and commentary, and women stopped posting as it certainly wasn't a place they felt comfortable. For the rest of the subforum, men were not prohibited from reading AND posting.

It wasn't until AFTER all this that a password was implemented.

What I would suggest is female members be given the same opportunity the men enjoyed in the women's subforum. IF women disrupt the men only subforum, THEN a password should be instituted. Treat us with the same courtesy and opportunity the men initially had with the women's section. This way, if it doesn't work, no one should feel they're being treated unevenly.

Just my opinion & I certainly hope this doesn't turn into some big "thing". All I'm asking is that we treat each other as equally as possible.

Wait, I thought the women's only sub-forum was password protected from the get-go and only women/mods/admins were able to browse it.  Am I wrong?

The password wasn't created until after several problems with male members derailing & really offensive comments. Basically, there was no other way to put a stop to it, which is pretty sad. But initially, (I'll use my thread as an example here): guys & their input was welcomed.

[BamaPainGurl]

I completely understand men's need for a place to discuss men's things. No joke, I always felt more respected when the men in my life went elsewhere to say or discuss topics that would offend me. Women, too say things that could be construed as offensive to men so I have no problem with everyone having their own spot and the real meat in the middle, if you will.

But I'm one of those weird folks so I guess take it however you want. My vote is however the guys want it.

When I found myself clicking on the guys thread and reading some kind of personal stuff, I got embarrassed and I'm sorry if I invaded anyone's privacy. Everyone deserves privacy.

[Anti-hero (OP)]

I will put
though out  there before.
Cause HeAd v is already  on to it
Cause head has caught on to this one.
When I do things that I know she doesn't approved of
Like meth, crack, disrepairing for days.
I will put this dumb look.on.my face and be like what I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do that.was not to it and but it worked for b like 7 years.
If you b haven't tried it I recommend you do.
it worked for a while.

I a.m. not saying that she shouldn't be concerned.
I got a bad liver ,heart, digestive system.
So she is just looking out for me.
.and cause I love her I don't try it as much anymore

[neighbor]

I share zystyl's viewpoint. boards that are closed off to certain groups of people just seem unnecessary and are inherently divisive.

I was all for the men's only board at first, as a joke, just because I thought it was extremely unnecessary,
if it had a purpose it was just to balance out the womens only board.

I think theres more of a need/want for a womens section than a man's.

women go to the bathroom in packs. men dont. this situation seems like an internet version of that.

i fully support it. i wish we would all have thicker skin and just respect each other but I fully support it.

but as a man, cmon dudes, is a manzone really necessary? what would we talk about that we already dont?
dingleberries, stage5clingers, golddiggers, giant poops....this is normal convo as it is.

[Chip]

50-50 split. there's nothing in it. what a tense poll. excitement.

[nick]

It's totally unnecessary and needlessly divisive. We made an exception for a women's only board because we thought providing somewhere for women to feel comfortable sharing sensitive issues outweighed dividing the community-I just don't see the need for men.

If we go down this road where does it stop? Seperate racially and sexuality defined locked boards?A board for the left handed? How about a vegan only board?

 If we do this we stop being a community. 

[Opus]

It's totally unnecessary and needlessly divisive. We made an exception for a women's only board because we thought providing somewhere for women to feel comfortable sharing sensitive issues outweighed dividing the community-I just don't see the need for men.

If we go down this road where does it stop? Seperate racially and sexuality defined locked boards?A board for the left handed? How about a vegan only board?

 If we do this we stop being a community.

Totally agree, the last thing this community needs is to be marginalized further.

If it's really so personal that it can't be posted on the open board, then what's wrong with PM? I truly can't think of anything I personally wouldn't want the women folk to read, but that I couldn't just PM to a guy friend here. Like if it's truly that personal, then maybe an Internet forum isn't the place for it?

The purpose here is community, no? Or am I missing something??

[dysmorphic]

how about banning offending members from that thread instead of a general fuck off to all guys in general?

[Elevated]

how about banning offending members from that thread instead of a general fuck off to all guys in general?

I share this thought, it just seems more fair.  I mean, I never even knew the women's only thread was at some point not password protected, so I never got a chance to see the offensive posts from male members nor did I get a chance to show restraint and not make offensive posts.

Also, I saw this today on reddit and thought it was topical somewhat.

[Elevated]

It's totally unnecessary and needlessly divisive. We made an exception for a women's only board because we thought providing somewhere for women to feel comfortable sharing sensitive issues outweighed dividing the community-I just don't see the need for men.

If we go down this road where does it stop? Seperate racially and sexuality defined locked boards?A board for the left handed? How about a vegan only board?

 If we do this we stop being a community.

I agree, but I also think that means there shouldn't be a women's only forum.  I didn't like the idea to begin with because it seemed divisive, but if there is a women's only forum it only seems right/fair to have a men's only forum.  Even if it doesn't get used.  Equality and all that.

We won't have to go further than that (vegan only, left-hand only, etc), but in my eyes it's either separate boards for each sex or not - you can't just give it to one sex and not the other.  It seems sexist. 

The whole idea of *sex* only type boards is offensive because it implies that all men or all women are going to behave in a certain (read, offensive) way and that simply isn't true. 

[Narkotikon]

Ok, first & foremost, Im giving my opinion as a member here. I think people are forgetting some facts about the women's subforum:

It was Candy's brainchild and a great idea. Unfortunately some guys posted and either derailed with crude and/or rude remarks that were really inappropriate OR generally took over the women's conversation(s). A lot.

To give Nark credit, although he did indeed post there multiple times, when he was politely reminded that it had finally been requested the guys just read IN ONE THREAD (not the whole subforum), Nark graciously apologized and refrained. Unfortunately, other male members, continued to disrupt the conversations and threads with offensive remarks and commentary, and women stopped posting as it certainly wasn't a place they felt comfortable. For the rest of the subforum, men were not prohibited from reading AND posting.

It wasn't until AFTER all this that a password was implemented.

What I would suggest is female members be given the same opportunity the men enjoyed in the women's subforum. IF women disrupt the men only subforum, THEN a password should be instituted. Treat us with the same courtesy and opportunity the men initially had with the women's section. This way, if it doesn't work, no one should feel they're being treated unevenly.

Just my opinion & I certainly hope this doesn't turn into some big "thing". All I'm asking is that we treat each other as equally as possible.

I was referring to not posting AFTER the password was implemented.  After the password was implemented, I did NOT post. 

As for my posting prior to the password, yes, I did.  I did before men were asked not to reply, as well as after they were asked not to reply.  Why?  I posted before because others were.  It was an open topic. 

I did after b/c the "men shouldn't post" rule wasn't being applied equally.  You don't get to pick and choose which men get to reply and which don't.  IIRC, Enduser replied with a sarcastic joke.  I then replied with a joke about a gurl needing to get a vibrator in response to one of DoD's posts.  Then you chimed in that I shouldn't be posting b/c I wasn't qualified to give advice on sex concerning women. 

I wasn't giving advice.  I would have thought it was obvious I was making a joke when I purposefully spelled girl as gurl.  Apparently not.  After my reply, however, a few other men replied.  Jega was one, for instance.  Somehow they weren't told to "keep quiet."  I find that hypocritical.  Again, if you make a blanket rule like "no men can post," you don't get to pick and choose who that applies to. 

[candy]

Dividing the site is not going to happen.
The women's only section was not meant to discriminate against the men of this site, but to give the ladies here a place to post where they could feel safe.
Women do have specific needs and are marginalized when it comes to addiction
Women are vulnerable to a list of problems that are associated with addiction and if we can offer them a place here where they
can share with other women and feel safe to do so, then we have met that goal.

I don't have a problem with the men having a section to discuss their own problems or issues they may be facing, but not if it is only in response to the women having their own password protected area.
We want nothing more than this board to be a democracy, but this area for women only is not meant to prove a point or to stir up a discussion on dividing the board, it is a place for women to discuss the many issues that they may not feel comfortable discussing with the men here.

Now, why is this such an issue.
Do the men here really want an area for themselves, password protected, or is this just about equality?