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Author Topic: Started MMT Today  (Read 23220 times)

Offline Daughter of Dionysus

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #44 on: September 30, 2015, 07:59:06 AM »
I'm not really sure what I would contribute the weight gain to
Other than the methadone
B\c I've always eaten healthy
And when I was on done I didn't drink soda
Almost everyone I've known that has gotten on methadone does gain some weight

But you're right about how good candy tastes when your on done

When I was on subs
I had really bad cravings for candy
And I was talking about it with my bff Nark
He told me that my candy cravings
Are more than likely me actually craving for dope (I.e. REAL opiates)
Which made a lot of sense to me

I appreciate your thanx
To my support
You deserve all the support this community has to offer
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monkawat

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #45 on: October 01, 2015, 10:19:12 AM »
Quick little update-

Changed counselors today from the old vietnam vet dude to a badass old timer grandma type lady due to a highly constrained caseload with the previous one.

Met with the new one and we hit it off well. She has a lot of knowledge about the neuroscience behind opioid addiction which I think is very valuable for the course of my treatment and her understanding of opioids. She pretty much told me expect many years on MMT and due to my pain issues- possibly me becoming a lifer. I don't have any qualms about the first one, or really even the second. It's just the best way I can manage my "dual diagnosis", so to speak without spending any of my own money on stuff.

I (fingers crossed if the doc got a chance to approve the change) go up by 5mg tomorrow to 40mg.
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monkawat

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #46 on: October 02, 2015, 08:05:54 AM »
If these updates are annoying to y'all- please let me know and I won't do em so often: This will be the last one for a month or so.

I got the job for the part time job I interviewed for today. I go in Monday for paperwork finalization and schedule my training. I don't wanna be too specific but it is a job related to marketing and sales of home renovations goods. It is part time since I am in school full time and my wife is still making a good living at around 30 bucks an hour 40/hrs a week, but we need some extra supplementary income because we were highly accustomed to a different lifestyle back at the ranch when I was contributing about 40k a year in addition to her roughly 60k a year.

It is a big jump from 100k a year to 60k and while that sounds like some serious first world problems (as it truly is)- I still need to contribute SOMETHING with holidays, especially Hannukah inching closer by the day since early December ain't that far away... She is back in school herself and graduates when I do this May- both with our bachelor's. Hers is in visual arts-design type stuff (She doesn't like her job but it supports us ATM) and mine is in sociology with a business minor. I will be going to work in my family's business the summer after I graduate making good money again and she's gonna quit her full time job and just do some freelancing part time for graphic designing projects but in the mean time the 20k a year I'll be getting from this part time gig can't hurt things. I had lost my previous job because of my pill use and the fact that I wasn't showing up for shifts plus other issues related to the nature of that job.

All in all my real short time I've been on MMT has been a real life saver (maybe not physically at the point I was at but certainly financially and emotionally with for my family's sake).
« Last Edit: October 02, 2015, 09:04:04 AM by monkawat »
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Z

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #47 on: October 02, 2015, 05:14:50 PM »
If you ever check this, take care.  Good luck with everything!  You can always email if you want to.
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Offline Opi-ette

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #48 on: October 02, 2015, 08:53:59 PM »
Best of luck with your new job Monk. When I logged on and saw you were a "Guest" I was worried, but now I see its for a good reason. Things are really looking up for you with your new treatment and new job. I hope you can pop in sooner than once a month or like Z said, throw a PM or email.

Going to miss seeing you around but that's just me being selfish.
Take it easy, breezy, but never sleazy  ;D
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Z

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #49 on: October 02, 2015, 11:07:20 PM »
Maybe just a little sleazy.
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Offline Opi-ette

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #50 on: October 03, 2015, 12:20:50 AM »
Maybe just a little sleazy.

Haha maybe a tad.
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Offline Zoops

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #51 on: October 04, 2015, 11:50:54 PM »
Damn, Monk, you can't be a member here because you're selling home improvement stuff? And what does your family business do that requires you to have a sociology degree? Interesting stuff. I wish I had your chances, bro.
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"The future ain't what it used to be."
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"You can observe a lot just by watching."
- Yogi Berra

"Drugs are so fucking good....that they'll ruin your life."
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Offline Daughter of Dionysus

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #52 on: October 05, 2015, 05:44:42 AM »
Monk
I for one dig your updates
It's in fact one of the first threads
I check when I log in

I'm glad you got a decent paying
Part-time job

I didn't know you were in school
Full time

And I totally get where you are coming from
In regards to finances
We went from 10k a month
Down to 3k a month
So I know all about having
To downsize, so to speak
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We are all curious about
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-Federico Garcia Lorca

Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity!
- BulletTooth Tony

Offline Chip

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #53 on: October 06, 2015, 06:51:42 AM »
i can see that monk's really serious about his recovery: no forum presence and stabilizing on Methadone.

i wish him every success but secretly wish he returns as a mentor.
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monkawat

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #54 on: October 06, 2015, 10:17:07 PM »
i can see that monk's really serious about his recovery: no forum presence and stabilizing on Methadone.

i wish him every success but secretly wish he returns as a mentor.

Hey Y'all,

I tried really hard to avoid this place. Tried to erase it out of my memory temporarily until I get further into recovery. But seeing how some of my friends on here reached out to me off-site (Rox, and 2 others) made me think twice about this..

I think just casually lurking without very much posting is better for me than abruptly leaving this place. I think I got a little too invested in what one of my family members said (not my wife or parents) about how a forum like this would screw up my stabilization on MMT.

My wife's only concern was how much time I spent on here so that will have to be signifcantly cut down, but I just love all you guys way too much to leave yall for good.

Chipper- You said you saved my rep and whatnot but when I registered again it is gone- can you update it if it isn't too much trouble/hassle for ya?

Specifically these folks are why I cannot leave DAU permanently- Zys, chipper, DFC, chops, opi-ette, roxstar, count zero/razorgirl, tony, DOD, Hero, and Zoops- you all have shown me a kind of caring that I didn't think was achievable on an internet forum alone- but you all seem to genuinely care that I get better and into a more stable stage in my MMT treatment and overall recovery from opiates/opioids.

That means a lot. DAU's community means a lot. I mistakenly thought cutting out a place where some were actively using opiates would somehow make ME crave more opiates. But I'm stronger than that mentally/emotionally. After some of the mental shit I've had to deal with and still deal with on a daily basis- this ain't gonna handle a candle to it.

Once again, I love y'all, for real. I know I look like a huge fucking tool/overreacting idiot for "leaving" and quickly returning. I really don't mind some criticism about it if you feel it is necessary. But the pull from such a great place was too strong. I really did feel a void of sorts without this place. I also lost everyone's emails except the few who emailed me and I need this support network more than I ever would've imagined.


« Last Edit: October 06, 2015, 10:23:13 PM by monkawat »
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Offline Opus

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #55 on: October 06, 2015, 10:49:58 PM »
I knew you'd be back ;)
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No artist tolerates reality -- Freidrich Neitzsche

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monkawat

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #56 on: October 06, 2015, 11:02:03 PM »
I knew you'd be back ;)

I dig the new avatar haha.

hope you're well chops. I lost your last private message about Aberdeen.
« Last Edit: October 06, 2015, 11:04:44 PM by monkawat »
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Offline Sand and Water

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #57 on: October 07, 2015, 01:35:23 AM »
Glad to see you decided to drop back in.  Whether a little or a lot - do what works for you, k?  :)
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Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

Offline Jega

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #58 on: October 07, 2015, 03:46:32 AM »
Glad you're back! We bite buy only slightly  ;)
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Offline Chip

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Re: Started MMT Today
« Reply #59 from previous page: October 07, 2015, 09:19:03 AM »
monk, your rep. and post counts have been restored (standard practice for anybody who wishes to leave, for whatever reason) ... yep, we'll keep the door open for you, just in case.

it's like you never left.

remember, you are only talking about drugs and thus, hopefully finding a way to make your lifestyle choices work better.

dope talk is often one way of coping, it need not be a trigger BUT a big trigger, it most certainly is ... so be honest with yourself if you want it to pay dividends.

welcome back and i hope the MMT works for you - it does for me as my slow taper continues ... 15 mg. today, ORAL !
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