Is Marriage Obsolete ??

[Daughter of Dionysus]

I don't know if marriage is obsolete

I know that being with someone
As long as I have
Is HARD FUCKING WORK
But it's defo worth it
Especially for my babe

I also know that
Marriage in these here United States of hypocrisy
Is a contract between
Two people who are supposed to love each other
And the fucking federal government

So yeah fuck that
If I can
And in this
I defo can
Opt out
You goddamn right I'm going to

[Chip]

I'm separated but have a close friendship with my ex-partner.

we are not living together but I live in hope that one day there will be a reconciliation but this lifestyle of ours is hard to accept.

marriage is what you make it but if it doesn't go the traditional way then make your own.

growing apart is the natural enemy.

[Anti-hero]

Psssssssssssssssssssssst
Hear that
That's the air being let out of my balloon
#iamdone
#imbouncinghead

:/
It's a whole lot more that a piece of paper
It's a state of mind
I have been with DoD
Going on 15 years.
Was I hung up on the fact that she wouldn't
Marry me yes
Till I had absolute faith in her that she was married in her mind to me
I put a ring on it
Do either one of us have to go to court to leave? No
So I work harder at keeping what I want
I love you babe and there is no place I would rather be
Than by your side
15 years I haven't did any thing that long
Well there's drugs
Plus I am one neurotic fuck

[Morfy (OP)]

Hey Hero 1,

Tried to rep you, could not for another 58 minutes.......

One of the reasons for starting this thread is to hear about people's unique experiences & PoV.  Very nice post.  I think this is the best arrangement adults can hope for in their lives.

A lot to consider too: When you see legally married people who are (miserable and) only staying together for the sake of their children, versus people who have a life-long bond independent of a legal contract.

[Jega]

Do you think it's still a misogynist thing? I possess this woman. We'be gone from cows and chats to cash but we still possess someone?

[Anti-hero]

Do you think it's still a misogynist thing? I possess this woman. We'be gone from cows and chats to cash but we still possess someone?

Idk you know you know
In a way it was not wanting to lose her
She rocked my world
I had all but given up on conventional relationships when she came along
Just wanted to stay on that boat and keep smelling the sweet magnolia
So I wanted to do what I was taught
Then Katrina
She has put up with allot off my shit like disappearing.wrecking cars, court cases.pych holds.Well a whole lot of me just showing her that she couldn't hurt me. But that hurt her.
I feel like shit now that I put that out there. No matter what I do.
I will never ever be able to show her how much she means to me.how much I just live to see her smile.
I keep borrowing lines from songs, but music  it's the sound track of or life.
I'd sell my soul for money to burn.
With her

I'm free to dj weddings on Wednesdays.And every other Tues.

[Shelley]

Marriage isn't obsolete imo
But it shouldn't be compulsory either
Get married, or don't. Whatever.
In this day and age everyone seems caught up in other people's marriages
Live and let live

[Zoops]

Which other Tuesday? This one or the next? 
When I got married the good dentist's family paid 20k to us for a down payment on a house, but actually asked for it (all) back from me when we got divorced. That car didn't make it out the parking lot.

[candy]

I don't think marriage is obsolete. I think it depends on the couple.
I have been with the same man for 11 years now and we have no plans on getting married.
We have both been married before and although we are not against marrying again, we just don't really talk about it or feel it as a need in our relationship.
We have made a commitment to one another by sharing out lives together and the bond we share is just as strong if we had a piece of paper making our union legal by the state.

I know many couples who have been happily married for many years, and I have known many people who have been married multiple times.
Any relationship takes work and whether you are married or not, respect, trust, and love must be a constant for a relationship to work.

My first marriage was horrible and I only married because I didn't want to hurt my then to be husband at the time. Not a great reason to make such a commitment, but I am much more mature now then I was 18 years ago.

Divorce is hard. I decided to waive my rights for child support and healthcare at anytime while my child was a minor in my divorce.  I just felt that I could afford to raise my kids on my own and my ex helped when he could. We only had one child together, but he was not able to make a very good living and I just could not take money from him when he did not have much to give. We never got along very well and he did some things that hurt me a great deal, but going after him just because I was hurt just didn't feel right.

Marry for the right reasons. If I could give anyone any advice on marriage, it would be that.

[razor girl]

I dont think marriage is obsolete at all.

What I do find annoying is that all the people who talk about the sanctity of marriage (especially that dumb bitch in kentucky; anyone else smell a lifetime movie? Lol)  really miss the mark anyways.

Marriage IS a special bond between two people, or should be.  Who needs a state certificate for that anyways? 

Really some one like that kentucky lady should really reconsider her whole role in providing marriage licenses, since it kinda puts the state as more important than the church in marriage anyways, right?

Also she's been divorced 2 or 3 times. Imagine that, a religious fanatic hypocrite, first time in the history of the world.

[Morfy (OP)]

Which other Tuesday? This one or the next? 
When I got married the good dentist's family paid 20k to us for a down payment on a house, but actually asked for it (all) back from me when we got divorced. That car didn't make it out the parking lot.

Did he ask YOU to pay for it, or his daughter??

That's a fucked-up thing right there. 

[Morfy (OP)]

and I just could not take money from him when he did not have much to give.

That is really kind of you, and of course, everyone is different....I just think that many people, men or women, would take their Ex-Spouse for everything, even just about of spite.

This gives me hope that there are more good people in the world than it seems.

[Jega]

This gives me hope that there are more good people in the world than it seems.

There are plenty of good people in this world. I just cant seem to find any haha

[St. Theresa]

and I just could not take money from him when he did not have much to give.

That is really kind of you, and of course, everyone is different....I just think that many people, men or women, would take their Ex-Spouse for everything, even just about of spite.

This gives me hope that there are more good people in the world than it seems.

Well, I've been with my husband for 17 years and married for almost 14, we married young and bought a house, and built a home together with shared time and money both contributing. Ten years ago, if we would have gotten a divorce I would probably have fought him in court for the house tooth and nail...now?..my happiness and disgust with all things legal and system related,( plus maturity) has changed my mind.  I would kindly ask him to do the right thing, and if he refused, I would walk away from the house with my happiness, and sanity intact. The way I see it is, it's just a house, and i can always get another.

I saw a divorce attorney a few years back when we were separated and I almost threw up after the meeting. He wanted to go after my husbands pension, his 401a, his welfare fund and a bunch of shit that made me Ill. How could I ever live with myself knowing I raped or even tried to rape someone financially?    I don't know how people do it. Well, I do know but that's a whole nutha topic...

Money comes and goes. It hurts when you have none, but it can always hurt more.

Marriage used to be sacred  to me, not so much anymore...I love being married but I its not the most important of the relationship in the grand scheme of things, being married doesn't make anyone a better person. It's just a title and piece of paper.

I understand the legal rights it gives people, but I also know people who have never been married and live happily and peacefully as man and woman without any need for a paper to prove their devotion.  Obsolete ? Maybe kinda, sorta, but necessary in this country for a bunch of legal protection.

[Zoops]

Which other Tuesday? This one or the next? 
When I got married the good dentist's family paid 20k to us for a down payment on a house, but actually asked for it (all) back from me when we got divorced. That car didn't make it out the parking lot.

Did he ask YOU to pay for it, or his daughter??

That's a fucked-up thing right there.

It was actually her mom's idea to ask me for all of it back, after we got the proceeds from the sale of the house. I finally agreed to give her an extra $1,000 only.

[Narkotikon]

I hate it when people give people gifts then expect something in return.

IT'S A GIFT!!!!!!!  A gift is something you're willingly giving to another person.  It means it's theirs from there on.  It is no longer yours.

You don't get to:

1.  Expect something in return if it's not agreed upon at the time.
2.  Tell them how to use the gift.
3.  Make them feel guilty for receiving the gift.
4.  Expect them to give the gift back.
5.  Expect them to kiss your ass b/c you gave them a gift. 

This reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where that guy gave Jerry a "brand new Armani suit."  Jerry tried to be kind by taking him out for a "meal."  Nope, soup isn't good enough.  Nope, this isn't good enough.  That's not good enough.  Just take the suit back.  Some gift. 

A gift is like an all-sales-final purchase IMO.