Core Topics > Seniors, Geriatrics

this is what meds my father is on at end of life ...

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Chip:
Thank you, all the same ... Jega, he is skin and bone, at 93 with no food coming in so 2.5 is HEAPS, i'd say.

don't compare him to us with tolerances who are young and perhaps portly too.

he is HEAVILY sedated and also dying, let me assure you.

Jega:
For his father absolutely!

I took that as a question of DeadCat asking if 2.5mg of midazolam would have any effect on him. If I read the question wrong then my fault and I apologize.

Chip:
you do not need to apologize ... it's just that i saw him go from highly agitated and yelling at us to sedated and for all intents and purposes, asleep (but with his eyes open) about 15 minutes after they injected Midazolam into a (IM/subcutaneous?) butterfly port in his leg.

it's heart breaking stuff but it is what it is.

what a hell of a drug, i couldn't believe that the effect was so profound but i know that it's a potent amnesiac, too. i think that's a good choice.

Wiki said that it is commonly used for end of life palliative care so it seems entirely appropriate.

Chip:
We have decided to put his morphine dose up.

Less than 24 hours left. On my way to his bedside with the family.

The crystal and Valium are working a treat with no sadness whatsoever. We resolved his hatred of my junkie ways and there are multiple closures.

Just wanted to share. I'm surprised how well I'm handling it; methamphetamine is a potent sadness killer but no doubt when it wears off there may be a price to pay.

Fuck it, I've been self medicating for all my adult life so why not now ?

I'm not wanting sympathy but writing this down is a comfort to me.

Please don't condemn me for being smashed at this time, it's what we do and it works.

Thanks for letting me share.

Lolleedee:
I'm so sorry you are going through this.  Death may be an inevitable part of life, but for those left behind, the grief can be overwhelming.  I'm glad you have had some closure.  I hope his passing is as pain free as possible.  We love you, Chipper!

Chip:
Awww ... sweetie, thank you. No life without death.

My last words to him included my apologies for being the junkie that I knew broke his heart.

It's a lonely and hard road that on which we travel.

I said my final goodbyes as it's finally over for me now.

Closure.

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