dopetalk

Core Topics => The Empowerment of Women - Women Only Please => Topic started by: Sand and Water on September 03, 2015, 08:05:21 AM

Title: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 03, 2015, 08:05:21 AM
Ok girls, as I said in Candy's thread, I thought it might be interesting (& fun) to talk about this. Put whatever's on your wish list. It can be serious, funny, snarky--whatever you want.

All guys' comments are welcome; just please remember to be respectful :)

***TO THE GUYS WHO ARE READING THIS--BECAUSE OF CONCERNS VOICED BY THE WOMEN IN THIS THREAD, IT IS RESPECTFULLY REQUESTED THAT YOU SIMPLY READ--EXCEPT FOR SPECIFIC QUESTIONS (see posts starting at #50 and posts 57 and 62 especially)  SINCERE THANKS TO ALL FOR RESPECTING THIS REQUEST***

I'll start with part of my "I wish..."

--When I'm aggravated, po'd or just plain cranky, the LAST question I want to be asked is: "is it that time of the month?"  This applies even if the guy is truly trying to be helpful lol.

--What is it with men and directions??  Does something inside them die a little if the mapquest fails & they are forced to publicly seek assistance?

--Sometimes I *like* it when Thor the Caveman makes an appearance... but only on certain occasions (wink wink), and particularly when there's a big bug that needs to be dealt with  :D
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Narkotikon on September 03, 2015, 08:58:51 AM
I think this is a very good and interesting topic. 

Although I grew up around four very strong, independent women (mother and three older sisters), and despite the fact that I often feel more like a woman than a man based on stereotypes, I'm not going to list things. 

I still think this will be a great thread.  Informative and educational for the guys who want to read and / or participate. 

Karma to you.   :)   
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Anti-hero on September 03, 2015, 10:02:15 AM
I think this is a very
 good and interesting topic. 

Although I grew up around four very strong, independent women (mother and three older sisters), and despite the fact that I often feel more like a woman than a man based on stereotypes, I'm not going to list things. 

I still think this will be a great thread.  Informative and educational for the guys who want to read and / or participate. 

Karma to you.   :)

I have been called afemament (sp?)
More than once
HeAd can tell you I'm more
Then in touch with my manly side.
I would like to know.
The answer to this question.
Sometimes when HeAd is in one of her moods
I will say " have a period already".
It's a just a cute to her that she is being mean
I know her "cycles" have nothing to sure with her attitude. She would hit me if I was
to say that to her.

I am looking forward to
reading this.
I do need a clue sometimes.
I.wish she would give me one.

Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 03, 2015, 10:40:09 AM
I think this is a very
 good and interesting topic. 

Although I grew up around four very strong, independent women (mother and three older sisters), and despite the fact that I often feel more like a woman than a man based on stereotypes, I'm not going to list things. 

I still think this will be a great thread.  Informative and educational for the guys who want to read and / or participate. 

Karma to you.   :)

I have been called afemament (sp?)
More than once
HeAd can tell you I'm more
Then in touch with my manly side.
I would like to know.
The answer to this question.
Sometimes when HeAd is in one of her moods
I will say " have a period already".
It's a just a cute to her that she is being mean
I know her "cycles" have nothing to sure with her attitude. She would hit me if I was
to say that to her.

I am looking forward to
reading this.
I do need a clue sometimes.
I.wish she would give me one.

Aww Nark thanks... I just really DO see so many differences & when I asked if the girls wanted this, *guys* piped up too, so I hope everyone feels free to give their thoughts :)

Hero-- the reason I listed that is sooo many times, if a woman is in a bad mood, that's what she hears. Not, "whats going on thats making you angry?". Sorta like the saying "a woman's being a bitch, a man's being assertive.

I LIKE men...grew up with 7 brothers, but men are still pretty mysterious in many ways to me. Hope that's some comfort to ya ;)

ps don't worry Morfy--saving some if juicy eeek! stuff for you :D
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Opus on September 03, 2015, 11:47:20 AM
I won't hesitate at all to ask for directions if I'm lost..
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Anti-hero on September 03, 2015, 12:12:40 PM
I won't hesitate at all to ask for directions if I'm lost..

I know right.
I have had to ask
For directions so many times (pre GPS)
I thought this was a urban myth.
You you learn.

@sand and water.
 Maybe we can use this thread as dialogue
For the party's to find some common ground.
And come to some sort of resolution to the aforementioned dispute.
That's my politic talk because of the elections.
Karma cause this is a good topic. It's science that our
thought process are different.
I can't g give you any peer reviewed journals.
I did read it in the internet
So that makes it fact
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: jdub on September 03, 2015, 01:12:55 PM
I won't hesitate at all to ask for directions if I'm lost..

I'll admit I have a problem asking for directions. I think it's a deep biological thing. On the level of not being able to feed your tribe or something. Big dabs, hope that made sense.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Anti-hero on September 03, 2015, 02:55:48 PM
No I understand. What would fuck me up is if you had to get directions back to your tribe.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Junkette on September 03, 2015, 10:00:17 PM
I just think I should state for the record that lesbians don't need to just get fucked right by a guy. LOL.

I have a co-worker who seems to think he can make me straight...if he keeps on I might have to hit him with a sexual harassment report, but I'm trying not to do it and just talk to him like a human being. He keeps making comments and eyeing me, it would be gross even if it was a woman.

I know this is an uncomfortable topic, sexual harassment...everyone likes a compliment...but it's really invasive and gross when you have someone invading your personal space...especially if they are physically a lot taller or larger than you. The other day the guy at work had me cornered, I was literally pressed into a corner...shiver.

I don't know if men realize how often women get suggestive or aggressive comments, you don't even really need to be hot or sexy or anything but there really are men that treat women like little more than a dick holder.

I know a lot of women in our "scene" get into really uncomfortable situations especially with drug dealers. Every male dealer I ever had basically let it be known that if I wanted to fuck for drugs it was on. Sigh. Not an advantage man, seriously. "you know if you just want to suck my dick I'll take a hundred off your tab" gag.

But I guess women have been trading pussy since the beginning of time. I'm just not sure if people realize how dehumanizing it is, or traumatic.

Also, girls are essentially told from birth that they should find a "prince charming" and pop out some kids. I'm fucking gay and am still pressured by family members and asked by others when we are going to have kids. How about fucking never? People act like there is something wrong with you for not wanting to reproduce. The last thing this world needs is a little junkette running around.

Sorry for the ramble. I know it's the 21st century but women still haven't over come their biology. I have always thought that the reason women have been subservient to men/seen as less than men is because we can get pregnant, which is basically disabling and potentially life threatening. If you think about caveman times a pregnant woman was a real liability...dependent on everyone else to survive .
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 03, 2015, 11:48:29 PM
I wish they knew how much getting a period sucks. Like really knew. Not that I wish pain and bloating, hot flashes etc. on the them. 
Although, I had a very understanding father who knew to leave us chicks alone when we got menstral (and always put the toilet seat down), there was always the unlying notion from him and most guys like, "you're not dying".  I've also seen women who have no problem with their cycles treat women who do like they're exxagerating...they usually come around to the truth when unfortunately their cycle changes and gives them hell.  And thankfully I don't half the period issues I know some women do, it's really sucky thing.


Good thread S&W !
And thanks for you input nark:) cool
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Daughter of Dionysus on September 04, 2015, 12:28:19 AM
Junkette
I totally GRT where you are coming from
With people
Especially family members
Acting like there is something
Wrong with you b/c
You have chosen not to have children
Some of my family members
Treat me like there is something horribly
Wrong with me
B/ c I have chosen to not have children
Or get married

@hero 1 I don't give
A fuck when you say
"Have a period already"
It doesn't bother me
I know tho that if you feel
The need to say that
Then I have been being exceptionally mean

On some level
Even men say that
To their partners
I think it's just b/ c
They don't have a legitimate
Biological reason to be
A dick

One thing I wish men
Would realize is that
When they pay a bill
Or do a chore
It doesn't mean their woman
Has to go out of her way to
Praise you
You getting the same thing
In return
And being shown that you
Are appreciated
Thru your partners actions
And occasionally verbal "praise"
Should be enuff
If you want all the verbal
"Oh babe you're so great, thank you so much
For taking out the trash, I don't know what I would
Do without you"
Kinda shit
Then you need to give it
"Oh babe thank you so much for doing
The laundry. I really would be lost without you"

Get it?
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 04, 2015, 01:36:06 AM
I'm glad y'all are liking this; I really appreciate everybody's contributions. In case I didn't say it earlier, I hope everyone knows that nothing I say is ever meant in a mean way. Like the directions thing--I'm just being tongue in cheek. :)

Speaking of the direction thing.. I wish I could remember who did it, but there was actually a study done recently & yup, men are far more likely to want to figure it out themselves vs women. And men were found to be better at it than women in many cases.  If i remember it, it has to do with being the "hunter" & needing to be able to navigate in order to survive. But yeah, Hero, it's on the Net, so it's gotta be true ;)

Oh my god, DoD, YES!!!  Just today, I found myself (again) telling my mom, why is it my SIL's problem to keep everyone up to date on family events, my brother is their father too!  Her position is he "helps out a lot". I told her just because SIL has breasts doesn't mean everything domestic is her responsibility.  My position is when was the last time somebody lavished praise on *me* for shopping, preparing & serving dinner? Why should he pout for no one saying anything when he empties a damn dishwasher?

St T, I had to laugh when I read that; prior to medical menopause, I never had PMS, (horrible periods, but zero mood stuff), so I'll own it here: I DID think my daughter was exaggerating.  You're totally right, it would be great if those who never suffered the harsher symptoms could understand. I do now. It sucks :(

I wish men knew what it's like to be 8 months pregnant. Like St T, I wouldn't wish real "pain" on anyone (think back labor), but try a week carrying a 10lb bowling ball..no room to eat, peeing every 20 seconds & trying to sleep. Never felt so trapped before or since!! 

I'll include this little eek bit-- I think it would be funny to have a guy know what it's like when your water breaks.... they had to break mine. It wasn't painful, but it was a flood of grossness lol.

ETA: Junkette brings up a good point. Even in the military, I heard it all the time (& like J, never intended to have kids). I've always wondered, do guys get asked this a lot?
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Z on September 04, 2015, 01:39:10 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 04, 2015, 01:44:42 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.

Poor Z lol. I'll own this one too. I have very very occasionally denied anything was wrong when in fact, I was hurt/mad as hell. Sorry, man.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 04, 2015, 03:19:59 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.

Lol you're better off not wanting to know.  It will pass....I hope!
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 04, 2015, 03:28:37 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.

Poor Z lol. I'll own this one too. I have very very occasionally denied anything was wrong when in fact, I was hurt/mad as hell. Sorry, man.

I know right! Men do the same thing though.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Shelley on September 04, 2015, 04:50:01 AM
Whenever a male junkie says
"You women have it so easy
If I was a woman I'd make money all day and get high"
I immediately lose respect for em
Go suck a dick then
It's sooper easy, you just breathe through your nose
Go spread your cheeks
It's easy, its like free dope

Fucking men

I'm glad they don't know shit
They don't deserve the knowledge
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 04, 2015, 06:05:47 AM
^^^this.  So true.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Anti-hero on September 04, 2015, 06:09:39 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.

We have had this Conversation
More then once in our household.
It is a shame that I lost my
Physic abilities when I had my TBI

Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Opus on September 04, 2015, 06:10:30 AM
I'm probably not the only guy who would appreciate people checking their generalizations: not all "men" are so clueless as to think selling one's ass is an easy gig; some of us actually have a few brain cells and even, believe it or not, possess healthy respect for women.

Also, not all women are innocent saints. Some, many in fact, leverage their gender in really REALLY fucked up ways. I was actually in court today for this exact type of circumstance (and not happy that I've had to commit as much time as I have on a case for someone who should have been locked away a long time ago).

Oblivious and self-centered are not gender specific traits.

Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Bhoris on September 04, 2015, 07:07:02 AM
I think it would be funny to have a guy know what it's like when your water breaks.... they had to break mine. It wasn't painful, but it was a flood of grossness lol.

If it's anything like having an abscess burst (only slightly painful with a massive flood of grossness) then I know what it's like. All too well.

I'm probably not the only guy who would appreciate people checking their generalizations: not all "men" are so clueless as to think selling one's ass is an easy gig; some of us actually have a few brain cells and even, believe it or not, possess healthy respect for women.

Also, not all women are innocent saints. Some, many in fact, leverage their gender in really REALLY fucked up ways. I was actually in court today for this exact type of circumstance (and not happy that I've had to commit as much time as I have on a case for someone who should have been locked away a long time ago).

Oblivious and self-centered are not gender specific traits.

Totally this. However I assume the women here aren't generalizing on purpose and certainly realize that all men aren't the way they've described, at least I sure as hell hope so.

When my girl is upset about something, it's so easy to tell. She just kind of sulks and doesn't want to talk. When she gets like that, I usually just give her her space until she's ready to calmly discuss what's wrong and how to fix it. The first time she was a little upset with me, I gave her her space and when she was ready to discuss it a couple hours later she asked me "Why didn't you ask what was wrong?" I told her that I knew something was wrong and assumed it was something I had done. I figured if she was upset with me, then she wouldn't really want to speak with me until she cools down a bit. She softened her stance a bit and actually respected that I didn't try to force a resolution by nagging her about what was wrong. When it comes to most women, when they're ready to talk they'll talk.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 04, 2015, 07:18:09 AM
I'm probably not the only guy who would appreciate people checking their generalizations: not all "men" are so clueless as to think selling one's ass is an easy gig; some of us actually have a few brain cells and even, believe it or not, possess healthy respect for women.

Also, not all women are innocent saints. Some, many in fact, leverage their gender in really REALLY fucked up ways. I was actually in court today for this exact type of circumstance (and not happy that I've had to commit as much time as I have on a case for someone who should have been locked away a long time ago).

Oblivious and self-centered are not gender specific traits.

Hi Opus, I appreciate you saying that you realize prostitution is anything but easy.  I think its a good reminder that although women have (and continue to be) exploited for sex, there are decent people who see the person underneath the "work". I hope others learn from your words.

One thing you said though bothers me a bit & if I'm misunderstanding your intent, my sincere apologies to you. You say you wish people "would check their generalizations:". The title of the thread is "Things we wish MEN knew". Its each girls' thoughts; *whatever* they may be. So I suppose it's my fault for making it.

BUT, out of 19 replies so far, I think I counted 9 from guys. That's great, I really hope guys feel good about popping in & I hope it continues. All I ask is the same Candy posted in "Hello Ladies": please remember this subforum is "The Empowerment of Women". I'm hoping all the guys understand what I'm trying to say here.

My worry is when a member is expresses strong feelings like "men suck/don't deserve to know" (just talking hypothetically & using a post ONLY as an example) in this area, that they'll get jumped on by a guy for their language or tone. This can close the door if they aren't free to ask for input/help if they want it.  Often, such strong statements are the result of some pretty heavy duty shit & talking is sometimes a big help.

And, you're absolutely right women AND men exploit their gender to gain advantage at times. Another good point.

I don't want anyone to take what Im saying as scolding or fussing. I've just seen the thread evolve into some darker stuff, which IF any member wants to talk more about, she should feel like its ok to do that here.

In case theres any doubt, I am NOT saying Opus is trying to do that, only that men arguing about this here derails and defeats the entire purpose of the thread and the subforum IMO. Thanks for hearing me out.  Big respect to ALL.

ETA: Bhoris, lol yes, probably if it's a 2 quart abscess!! Right up there for weird-o-meter sensation  ;)


Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Riddick on September 04, 2015, 07:28:14 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.
Id never let a woman make me sleep somewhere else other than my bed. Especially a fucking shed lmao. But Im in early 20s and never had a wife so maybe I dont know. And thats no disrespect at all, just that why should you sleep outside your own bed when you tried to fix the problem? Edit: I now realize you were probably sarcastic about the shed. Maybe a couch.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Riddick on September 04, 2015, 07:32:47 AM
I'm probably not the only guy who would appreciate people checking their generalizations: not all "men" are so clueless as to think selling one's ass is an easy gig; some of us actually have a few brain cells and even, believe it or not, possess healthy respect for women.

Also, not all women are innocent saints. Some, many in fact, leverage their gender in really REALLY fucked up ways. I was actually in court today for this exact type of circumstance (and not happy that I've had to commit as much time as I have on a case for someone who should have been locked away a long time ago).

Oblivious and self-centered are not gender specific traits.

Hi Opus, I appreciate you saying that you realize prostitution is anything but easy.  I think its a good reminder that although women have (and continue to be) exploited for sex, there are decent people who see the person underneath the "work". I hope others learn from your words.

One thing you said though bothers me a bit & if I'm misunderstanding your intent, my sincere apologies to you. You say you wish people "would check their generalizations:". The title of the thread is "Things we wish MEN knew". Its each girls' thoughts; *whatever* they may be. So I suppose it's my fault for making it.

BUT, out of 19 replies so far, I think I counted 9 from guys. That's great, I really hope guys feel good about popping in & I hope it continues. All I ask is the same Candy posted in "Hello Ladies": please remember this subforum is "The Empowerment of Women". I'm hoping all the guys understand what I'm trying to say here.

My worry is when a member is expresses strong feelings like "men suck/don't deserve to know" (just talking hypothetically & using a post ONLY as an example) in this area, that they'll get jumped on by a guy for their language or tone. This can close the door if they aren't free to ask for input/help if they want it.  Often, such strong statements are the result of some pretty heavy duty shit & talking is sometimes a big help.

And, you're absolutely right women AND men exploit their gender to gain advantage at times. Another good point.

I don't want anyone to take what Im saying as scolding or fussing. I've just seen the thread evolve into some darker stuff, which IF any member wants to talk more about, she should feel like its ok to do that here.

In case theres any doubt, I am NOT saying Opus is trying to do that, only that men arguing about this here derails and defeats the entire purpose of the thread and the subforum IMO. Thanks for hearing me out.  Big respect to ALL.

ETA: Bhoris, lol yes, probably if it's a 2 quart abscess!! Right up there for weird-o-meter sensation  ;)
Good post. Applaud.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Z on September 04, 2015, 07:39:07 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.
Id never let a woman make me sleep somewhere else other than my bed. Especially a fucking shed lmao. But Im in early 20s and never had a wife so maybe I dont know. And thats no disrespect at all, just that why should you sleep outside your own bed when you tried to fix the problem? Edit: I now realize you were probably sarcastic about the shed. Maybe a couch.

I have never had to sleep anywhere other then my bed.  That part was definitely a joke.   I always took never go to bed mad to heart.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 04, 2015, 07:44:55 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.
Id never let a woman make me sleep somewhere else other than my bed. Especially a fucking shed lmao. But Im in early 20s and never had a wife so maybe I dont know. And thats no disrespect at all, just that why should you sleep outside your own bed when you tried to fix the problem? Edit: I now realize you were probably sarcastic about the shed. Maybe a couch.

I have never had to sleep anywhere other then my bed.  That part was definitely a joke.   I always took never go to bed mad to heart.

Wow, in all seriousness, you guys' are light years away from my ex!!  Good advice for us girls too :D
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Riddick on September 04, 2015, 07:48:54 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.
Id never let a woman make me sleep somewhere else other than my bed. Especially a fucking shed lmao. But Im in early 20s and never had a wife so maybe I dont know. And thats no disrespect at all, just that why should you sleep outside your own bed when you tried to fix the problem? Edit: I now realize you were probably sarcastic about the shed. Maybe a couch.

I have never had to sleep anywhere other then my bed.  That part was definitely a joke.   I always took never go to bed mad to heart.
My fault then.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Riddick on September 04, 2015, 07:49:52 AM
My wife seems to wish I could read her mind.

*wife stomps around angrily*
Z: what's wrong honey?
Z's wife: nothing.
Z: really, what's wrong?
"You know what's wrong."
"I really don't.  Please tell me so I can fix it."
"If you don't know its even worse."

Z:  I'll just bring my sleeping bag out to the shed for tonight.
Id never let a woman make me sleep somewhere else other than my bed. Especially a fucking shed lmao. But Im in early 20s and never had a wife so maybe I dont know. And thats no disrespect at all, just that why should you sleep outside your own bed when you tried to fix the problem? Edit: I now realize you were probably sarcastic about the shed. Maybe a couch.

I have never had to sleep anywhere other then my bed.  That part was definitely a joke.   I always took never go to bed mad to heart.

Wow, in all seriousness, you guys' are light years away from my ex!!  Good advice for us girls too :D
What do you mean?
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 04, 2015, 07:57:37 AM
Hey Riddick-- sorry I wasn't very clear. I meant the value of a guy listening to me, giving me space til I feel ok enough to talk & yes, also important, one who understands the value of trying to never go to bed angry puts a lot of you guys way ahead of my ex :)
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Opus on September 04, 2015, 09:10:28 AM
Quote from: S&W
One thing you said though bothers me a bit & if I'm misunderstanding your intent, my sincere apologies to you. You say you wish people "would check their generalizations:". The title of the thread is "Things we wish MEN knew". Its each girls' thoughts; *whatever* they may be. So I suppose it's my fault for making it.

At first I meant to direct that comment towards Shelley and maybe I should have quoted her, but reading your post and thinking a little more: IMO it's really just as much the thread title that I guess seems to generalize a bit. Just like women, not all men are the same, not even close.

Maybe I'm being pedantic, but for example the two things you wrote about in your OP really aren't things I can relate to at all, one I addressed in an earlier post and the other I figured I'd leave alone, but honestly I know better than to ask a woman if she's pissy cos she's hormonal (not like I've never brought the subject up, but it's about tact).

I truly don't mean any disrespect and I'm not offended by this thread, I just think people should be careful with generalizations, and I just figure we're simply not all the same; male, female, trans, black, white, red, blue, English, Australian, young, old, etc.

Yeah, some men have a lot to learn (and may never) about women. Some women also have a lot to learn about men, I guess I just really don't like generalizations, and that applies to LOTS of subjects..
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Shelley on September 04, 2015, 09:34:53 AM
The more men I meet the more my misandry grows
Sorry if I offend, I guess
It's my "life experience" lol
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 04, 2015, 10:10:11 AM
Quote from: S&W
One thing you said though bothers me a bit & if I'm misunderstanding your intent, my sincere apologies to you. You say you wish people "would check their generalizations:". The title of the thread is "Things we wish MEN knew". Its each girls' thoughts; *whatever* they may be. So I suppose it's my fault for making it.

At first I meant to direct that comment towards Shelley and maybe I should have quoted her, but reading your post and thinking a little more: IMO it's really just as much the thread title that I guess seems to generalize a bit. Just like women, not all men are the same, not even close.

Maybe I'm being pedantic, but for example the two things you wrote about in your OP really aren't things I can relate to at all, one I addressed in an earlier post and the other I figured I'd leave alone, but honestly I know better than to ask a woman if she's pissy cos she's hormonal (not like I've never brought the subject up, but it's about tact).

I truly don't mean any disrespect and I'm not offended by this thread, I just think people should be careful with generalizations, and I just figure we're simply not all the same; male, female, trans, black, white, red, blue, English, Australian, young, old, etc.

Yeah, some men have a lot to learn (and may never) about women. Some women also have a lot to learn about men, I guess I just really don't like generalizations, and that applies to LOTS of subjects..

Hey Opus, I think b/c of the nature of the question, it's just going to be kind of that way at times. Lots of differences for sure. It's why I put it in the women's subforum :)

Its because I see so many differences that I thought it might be cool to talk about some of them. I get that you can't relate to some things I posted & hope you know its the same for me when a guy says/does certain things.  As I said before, nothing I say is ever gonna be meant in a mean or demeaning way & I don't think others have been trying to act that way either. I hope we can just keep learning & having a little fun with it :)
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Riddick on September 04, 2015, 10:11:47 AM
If I may ask a question. Why do so many women lie about wanting a nice guy? I dont mean all women, but it definitely seems like a lot of those same women go with the guy that smacks their ass and tells then to make a sandwich and clean the house. Im using that sentence as sn example, for I feel everyone here has seen this happen. No generalization or disrespect meant. Just like I said, everyone has probably seen this.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Riddick on September 04, 2015, 10:22:05 AM
Ill quit with the questions. I know this is supposed to be a space for women.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: razor girl on September 04, 2015, 10:24:09 AM
The more men I meet the more my misandry grows
Sorry if I offend, I guess
It's my "life experience" lol

You're hanging out with the wrong guys.  And I mean that sincerely.  It is fun at first, isn't it?
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Reezy on September 04, 2015, 10:34:47 AM
I wish they knew how much getting a period sucks. Like really knew. Not that I wish pain and bloating, hot flashes etc. on the them. 
Although, I had a very understanding father who knew to leave us chicks alone when we got menstral (and always put the toilet seat down), there was always the unlying notion from him and most guys like, "you're not dying".  I've also seen women who have no problem with their cycles treat women who do like they're exxagerating...they usually come around to the truth when unfortunately their cycle changes and gives them hell.  And thankfully I don't half the period issues I know some women do, it's really sucky thing.


Good thread S&W !
And thanks for you input nark:) cool

kinda like withdrawals i guess. "youre not gunna die" FUCK you. i hear ya. i dont know what its like to be a woman.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 04, 2015, 11:03:57 AM
I wish they knew how much getting a period sucks. Like really knew. Not that I wish pain and bloating, hot flashes etc. on the them. 
Although, I had a very understanding father who knew to leave us chicks alone when we got menstral (and always put the toilet seat down), there was always the unlying notion from him and most guys like, "you're not dying".  I've also seen women who have no problem with their cycles treat women who do like they're exxagerating...they usually come around to the truth when unfortunately their cycle changes and gives them hell.  And thankfully I don't half the period issues I know some women do, it's really sucky thing.


Good thread S&W !
And thanks for you input nark:) cool

kinda like withdrawals i guess. "youre not gunna die" FUCK you. i hear ya. i dont know what its like to be a woman.

Sorry all, I screwed up the quote thingy :(  But Reezy, you just did a spot on impersonation of my daughter w/the giant "FUCK YOU".  I swear that kid's like Jekyll and Hyde when's she gets her period!  Lol she's told me she can hear the "ugly" leaving her mouth, just can't always stop it lol

Riddick--it's cool, I hope others have an opinion. While obviously some issues may really color how we let others treat us, I wonder how much is also plain old human nature.

For me, I suppose its kinda like the Thor caveman joke I made earlier. Maybe for guys it's old joke about them supposedly wanting a "Madonna in public & a tiger in the bedroom"?  I think we're all sometimes contradictory like that especially when we first realize cooties are a myth :)
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Narkotikon on September 04, 2015, 11:06:01 AM
I think a lot of male / female stereotypes can, in part, be attributed to human evolution, as someone else stated.

Most men feel they need to be the "provider," whereas most women feel they need to be the "caregiver" or "homemaker."  Primitive men hunted, women gathered. 

I once read an article that said men tend to have better visual acuity than women.  That primitive men hunted b/c they were better able to gauge distances, especially when prey was moving.  I'm guessing since men tend to have more upper-body strength, and tend to be more muscular than women, that those also played a part in men being the designated hunters.

I can see that translating to men feeling they need to work to support their families, and them possibly feeling a woman's place is in the domestic realm. 

That's a very traditional view, outdated IMO.  If it suits the situation, and both husband and wife agree and feel it's best for them, I see no problem with the man being the caregiver and the head of the domestic realm, and the woman working to support the family.

I know that's probably not a very popular view, but note I said if both parties agree that it suits their situation.  I'm not proposing a man be a deadbeat and making the woman work to support him.  That "go make me a sammich" attitude is so passe. 

Even though we're supposedly more enlightened and living in the 21st century, I think a lot of people still have problems with that type of thing.  I can see outsiders having very negative views concerning a man staying at home and a woman working for the family. 
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Junkette on September 04, 2015, 11:22:05 AM
I don't think women are lying about wanting a nice guy, that is what they are conditioned by society to want. "Prince Charming", who will come and save them from their mundane life. From a very young age girls are fed love stories...it's to the point where some cannot feel like a whole human being without a "relationship". Many women have their self worth tethered to their "desirability", and can only find worth in being sexually attractive. The pressure to be sexually attractive is absurd. The whole goal in life is to get married and have a family.

Yeah, fuck that.

One could argue that women are taught to tolerate abuse, even taught to expect it...because they are inferior to men. A lot of people have in their mind that the place of a women is in the home...she is suppose to cook, clean, rear the children, and lay on her back and spread her legs on command. She is suppose to be dependent on her husband who "brings home the bacon" and in return for his monetary support she is suppose to give over her body and mind. 

But the way people are conditioned in america, especially, is rather contradictory. I really feel for anyone raised in a very conservative/religious family...those "values" are degrading to everyone involved. I don't know how men or women can find fulfillment in a relationship where both parties are not equal.

Luckily there are more and more people who are becoming aware and enlightened. Without true equality between men and women our civilization will never evolve. Thanks to science we are no longer slaves to our biology/physiology. Men have to stand together with women, we all must work together to find a more progressive stance on what "love" and relationships are suppose to look like.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Riddick on September 04, 2015, 12:23:45 PM
Good points made imo. I too think society has a huge role in our perception of how women are supposed to be. Especially in how your supposed to act within a group of other dudes. You would get looked at wrong and maybe shunned if you were to say that you stay home with the kids and your girl works. You may not have a problem with it at home, but you better not bring that shit up with your friends. Just how it works. At the same time, feminists go a little crazy imo. I remember holding a door for a chick and she got upset because she can " open the door herself". Like wtf? Or " why do you think you have to pay for dinner? Is it because you assume I dont make any money or cannot pay for myself?". Shit like that gets on my nerves.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: kat1lifeleft on September 04, 2015, 03:28:35 PM
Junkettes post reminded me of those quiverfull folks...like the 21 kids and counting parents. That kind of repression is all kinds of wrong and can mess up kids in many ways i.e josh duggar
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Anyong on September 04, 2015, 04:07:58 PM
I tend to be a little less "girlie" and a little more "junkie" when it comes to feelings and gross shit like that, so I wish men in general knew that we don't all want flowers and candy, that Old Boy is preferable to anything on Lifetime, and that yes, women can and do have platonic male friends (who we may or may not sleep with if we weren't dating you, but since we are in a relationship, IT'S A MOOT POINT!) Thank God my current BF is secure enough to let me sleep in a bed with male friends and know we're not fucking or anything!

During my 3-4 gram a day dope habit, I really wished men realized that tricking isn't cheating cuz there are no feelings involved...women trick and men steal/rob, right?! Now that I don't have a dope habit, I'm rethinking this logic.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Z on September 04, 2015, 11:37:45 PM
 "I don't know how men or women can find fulfillment in a relationship where both parties are not equal. "

- Junkette

For me I think it is important to recognize that we are not all equal.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  The pc movement wants us to ignore this, but I disagree.  I think that true equality happens when we recognize each other for our strengths.  When we acknowledge our weaknesses and search out people who are complementary to us.  To fill in our gaps in our strength, and benefit each other mutually.

Recognising that we are not all equal also includes freeing women from the domestic labour burden.  Our individuality means that some will love it, and embrace it.  Some will hate the domesticity, and will choose not to do it.  Recognising us for our differences leaves us free to pursue our strengths and interests. 

So, for me, a healthy relationship means recognising each other for their strengths , and for how those strengths can play into each others weaknesses.  Flowing together like making love to present a solid front together.

That is crucial.  Loving and respecting each other to allow the not so perfect.  To allow the accidents and errors, the desires and dreams that make us who we are.  The best relationships are the ones like this.  Where the two flow together to likely a seamless relationship of mutual benefit.

So I respectfully disagree that we are all equal.  We aren't.  We are all different.  But recognising these differences and embracing them is something we should all be doing the some!

Riddick:  dont go  to bed angry is advice from my grandma and was common in her generation.  It means to tenth things out instead of letting it breed resentment and anger etc.  In practice for me it means sometimes admitting fault, and being committed to resolving problems when they come up instead of not saying anything and getting upset.  Going to bed mad in other words.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 05, 2015, 12:13:01 AM
I wish they knew how much getting a period sucks. Like really knew. Not that I wish pain and bloating, hot flashes etc. on the them. 
Although, I had a very understanding father who knew to leave us chicks alone when we got menstral (and always put the toilet seat down), there was always the unlying notion from him and most guys like, "you're not dying".  I've also seen women who have no problem with their cycles treat women who do like they're exxagerating...they usually come around to the truth when unfortunately their cycle changes and gives them hell.  And thankfully I don't half the period issues I know some women do, it's really sucky thing.


Good thread S&W !
And thanks for you input nark:) cool

kinda like withdrawals i guess. "youre not gunna die" FUCK you. i hear ya. i dont know what its like to be a woman.

Yep.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 05, 2015, 12:17:07 AM
Salt & water.  this was a great thread. I really think us women (members) would benefit with out any men in a future thread where we talk about feelings and speculate and maybe bitch and moan a bit.  Some men get it and others need to make it known that we are wrong. Where that was never the point!

So it'd be cool if we can have a closed women's thread. Women and women only.  Sorry to all you guys, the good guys that truly love and respect women. I love and respect men. But I would ask if a women's only area can please be considered. There will always be this argument of us generalizing men if we don't have one.

Thanks :)
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Opus on September 05, 2015, 12:24:11 AM
@Z: I think she means "equal" from the perspective of truly mutual respect, that's how I interpreted that quote anyway..
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 05, 2015, 12:28:31 AM
If I may ask a question. Why do so many women lie about wanting a nice guy? I dont mean all women, but it definitely seems like a lot of those same women go with the guy that smacks their ass and tells then to make a sandwich and clean the house. Im using that sentence as sn example, for I feel everyone here has seen this happen. No generalization or disrespect meant. Just like I said, everyone has probably seen this.

It's not that they're lying.  They love the bad guy but want them to be nice to her. No woman wants to be abused.  The bad guys are just hot, but looks can be deceiving.  My husband looks like the bad guy. But he's the most gentle, loving guy, and empowers the women in his life. He loves his mother and respects women.  Woman do want a nice guy.

Hope that helps a little. Just my take on it.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Shelley on September 05, 2015, 12:36:04 AM
Nice guys are often percieved as weak

Also, a lot of guys who consider themselves nice are really just self absorbed misogynists who believe themselves deserving of sex and see it as the woman's flaw when she fails to give him what he thinks he has earned by being a such a nice guy. Furthering the stereotype that women hate "nice" guys.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 05, 2015, 12:47:23 AM
Nice guys are often percieved as weak

Also, a lot of guys who consider themselves nice are really just self absorbed misogynists who believe themselves deserving of sex and see it as the woman's flaw when she fails to give him what he thinks he has earned by being a such a nice guy. Furthering the stereotype that women hate "nice" guys.

Yep, totally agree.

Wasn't Ted Bundy said to have been a real nice guy?  ;)
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Z on September 05, 2015, 12:58:48 AM
Nice guys are often percieved as weak

Also, a lot of guys who consider themselves nice are really just self absorbed misogynists who believe themselves deserving of sex and see it as the woman's flaw when she fails to give him what he thinks he has earned by being a such a nice guy. Furthering the stereotype that women hate "nice" guys.


Most people see themselves as Nice guys.  I never met someone who says they are not a nice guy lol.

@Z: I think she means "equal" from the perspective of truly mutual respect, that's how I interpreted that quote anyway..

Totally possible chops.  I wasn't trying to single anyone out, or argue against anyone.  I apologise if it seemed like I was.

I just wanted to give my perspective on the politically correct idea of equality, and how it effects relationships.  It wasnt directed at anyone.  It is just my personsl opinion,
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 05, 2015, 07:12:50 AM
Hey St T--  Thanks for bringing up a good point. It's what I was saying when I asked the guys to try to understand that not always, but a lot of times, when these sort of things are said, it's coming from a place of real pain.

I didn't realize the thread would turn in that direction, but part of me is really glad to find out many of the guys' responses, because it never hurts to know what *they're* thinking, especially when I heard them say things like they truly weren't trying to be disrespectful and how they view *their* role(s) in a relationship.

What do you (& the other girls) here think about maybe putting some sort of announcement in the beginning of sensitive threads asking the guys to just read? 

As Candy said, I agree that women have some pretty unique challenges, and I want us all to feel comfortable from being judged for talking about what we feel & getting good feedback from other women. I will say, I didn't really see a lot of that.  When one member was questioned, he made it clear that his intent wasn't to be disrespectful.

ETA: However, I don't want anyone to think I'm speaking for anyone but myself; others may read the thread differently, and that's is totally cool with me.

But your original point stands--where is the "right" place to draw the line in this subforum?  I truly don't know.

I apologize to anyone who was/is bothered in this thread. I guess maybe I should've posted it in General?  I had some other (mostly fun) things I was going to share, but if y'all think we should let the thread end, that's cool too.  I'll leave it at if others keep posting, I will too--and I hope anyone else who feels like you do regarding "women only" sections chimes in. (PM is fine too).
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Narkotikon on September 05, 2015, 08:10:46 AM
I don't see the harm in letting the thread continue.  I think it's informative and could also possibly be funny. 

I think it's important to realize that generalizations can be taken out of hand though.  Some may read them as offensive, and some may not.

Personally, when I hear someone make a generalization, I take it as them speaking from their own experience based on the people / things they've encountered. 

I don't view it as the person saying every single man or woman thinks / acts / feels like that.  But that's just my take on it.  Others may think differently.

I think if we're clear about those things, this thread has a lot of potential. 

As for a women-only thread or sub-forum, I think that's a good idea.  Women do need to talk privately among themselves at times.  That's why I've not posted in Candy's "Hello Ladies" thread.  I took it as for women / ladies only.

I thought it was okay to respond to this thread b/c it was about what men do to women, and what women wish men knew.  Plus, I think Sand and Water even said it was okay for men to respond. 
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 05, 2015, 08:43:01 AM
I don't see the harm in letting the thread continue.  I think it's informative and could also possibly be funny. 

I think it's important to realize that generalizations can be taken out of hand though.  Some may read them as offensive, and some may not.

Personally, when I hear someone make a generalization, I take it as them speaking from their own experience based on the people / things they've encountered. 

I don't view it as the person saying every single man or woman thinks / acts / feels like that.  But that's just my take on it.  Others may think differently.

I think if we're clear about those things, this thread has a lot of potential. 

As for a women-only thread or sub-forum, I think that's a good idea.  Women do need to talk privately among themselves at times.  That's why I've not posted in Candy's "Hello Ladies" thread.  I took it as for women / ladies only.

I thought it was okay to respond to this thread b/c it was about what men do to women, and what women wish men knew.  Plus, I think Sand and Water even said it was okay for men to respond.

Thanks Nark :)   I absolutely did say that it was ok for the guys to chime in. I was going with what Candy said about if/when guys want to post too b/c it made sense to me. 

I don't know if my idea about making it clear in *certain* threads (TBD), that under those circumstances it might be preferable for the guys to read but refrain from joining in is a good one or not. I hope the women in this subforum share their thoughts/ideas/opinions. I'm only sharing my thoughts on the subject.

In case anyone's wondering, I hope all the guys here know (again, just my opinion fwiw), that I wouldn't be offended if *they* decided it would be helpful for them to have their own subforum too.  I should've made that clear in my earlier reply.

Thanks again to St T for bringing up an important point. I'll add some of my lighter "wishes" later after seeing what people want.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Narkotikon on September 05, 2015, 08:53:32 AM
I think a men-only thread / sub-forum is a good idea too.  Just like women, men need a place to congregate for info they might not feel comfortable sharing or speaking about with women. 

I can definitely see the need for both women-only and men-only threads when it comes to physiology and the body in general. 

My only concern is what happens if some members don't feel comfortable sharing with their own sex.  Some women may feel more comfortable speaking only with men.  Some men may feel comfortable only sharing with women. 

I suppose in those cases they could make their own threads, where they lay out the ground rules in the beginning (i.e., I'd like responses from women / men only). 
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 06, 2015, 02:03:14 AM
That's fine too have a men only area..

I just don't want to come here to say men are such doofuses because I'm venting to my girls and have some dick swing in to remind me not to generalize. 

Everyone generalizes when emotions are involved and it's pretty easy to see if you have a brain. So I don't mind when people do to get their gripe across.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Z on September 06, 2015, 02:09:57 AM
Sorry if my comment was out of place.  I don't always check the subforum when I browse through new posts.

No harm intended.  Just being opinionated as always.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: candy on September 06, 2015, 02:55:25 AM
I will talk to Chipper and Nick about making it a women's only thread part of the forum. You know what I mean.
I just want to hear from the women here if that is what they truly want.

If you ladies want a place on the forum that men cannot access, I will see what I can do.

Sorry I have been away from the forum...Having a real rough time!

I will let you know when I have discussed it with Chipper and Nick.

If things should get out of hand, we can close the thread, but no need to right now. Maybe some other will chime in and we can see where it goes.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 06, 2015, 03:29:45 AM
That's fine too have a men only area..

I just don't want to come here to say men are such doofuses because I'm venting to my girls and have some dick swing in to remind me not to generalize. 

Everyone generalizes when emotions are involved and it's pretty easy to see if you have a brain. So I don't mind when people do to get their gripe across.

Z--no worries at all. I think the guys have done an overall great job of communicating their intent regarding disrespect and such.  I have appreciated the (wonderful & unexpected) replies from a lot of the men a lot.

Having said that...  St T just summarized the basic premise I read in Candy's thread. When I'm talking with my girls, it's going to be different than when both sexes are present. Just like a lot of guys (including the ones here tend to "tone it down" if they're not just shooting the breeze amongst themselves).   I don't see this as a negative at all. It shows awareness & sensitivity of the very differences we're talking about.

****How about from now forward in this thread, we ask the guys to just sit back & "listen"?  Unless of course, it's a question like "why does my girl do/say XYZ?"  This way, everyone is welcome to laugh, maybe learn, or applaud (or ignore) a post if they like without anyone feeling they need to worry about being seen as disrespectful or whatever? 

I would hope guys that wanted to would also feel free to PM the posters--I would welcome that for sure.  I also really hope the guys know how much they added to the discussion.  Im only speaking for me, but do want to say a big Thank You to each and every one--big respect to all for contributing & communicating in this kind of thread :)

What do you think girls??  Given the concerns I'm hearing, I'll go ahead with that understanding unless I hear from a bunch who don't want it this way.

On the lighter side:  I wish men knew that I've often wondered which is worse, being a teenage girl w/all the hormones, periods etc OR being a teenage boy and having all the hormones, unexpected erections (like during math class), and wet dreams!!  Although it happens for a week, my period was at least fairly discreet & expected lol.

--i wish men knew what it's like to breast feed their child.  One the one hand, it's really awesome; it's very primal and soooo physically & emotionally awesome. On the other hand, kind of like an unbidden erection, it was a challenge sometimes lol.  I will NEVER forget when my daughter was 6 weeks old, my sis came to babysit so I could have a break. I went to get groceries at Costco...in a heat wave, I was wearing a light t-shirt. Was at back of the warehouse getting diapers & heard a baby cry.

NO ONE warned me about that "reflex". Looked like I'd dipped my breasts in cups of water :(   Oh yeah, & unlike an erection, couldn't hold something against my chest to hide it b/c ANY pressure = MORE leaking lol.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 06, 2015, 04:46:00 AM
Fine by me. Sounds fair and I wouldn't want discourage any of the guys from asking questions but I just want a chick only forum for the sake of womanhood and not being pointed out for emotionally charged girl talk by men who aren't even be talked about.

Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: candy on September 06, 2015, 02:31:09 PM
St. T., I too wanted a place that was not only specific to the needs of women, but also a place where women could discuss things like menstruation, pregnancy and addiction, having children and addiction, and the things we as women experience.
Not only the things we experience as women with addiction, but just as women in general.

If the men want to chime in and discuss an issue issue regarding a woman in their life, no problem by me.
I have not discussed the issue with Nick and Chipper yet, but I will when I have some time.
If this thread should get out of hand and there are personal attacks on anyone, it will be closed.

I want the women here to feel safe and secure if they need to share a problem in their lives. I would imagine the gals would have to subscribe to this part of the forum, as we did with the FF on opiophile if we want only women to have access.

I don't see any problem with the men having a place on the forum to discuss personal issues as well. Maybe that is a good thing. I know how easy it can be for tempers to flare when we always don't see eye to eye on things and that is not just a member type issue, but an issue with the opposite sex.

I have not read through the entire thread, so I think it is best I do and then decide what to do next.

Just be respectful and that goes for everyone.

We are still working out the kinks and the idea of a women only area of the forum was something I wanted to see happen here.
So, let's make it work and until we change things and please keep posting.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Thoms on September 07, 2015, 01:38:52 AM
To throw it out there i bet there are a lot of men just reading this like me. After this little post i wont say anything else and go back to reading because i think this thread is a good place to learn something that i should know. I only care about pleasing one woman though and i hope i can learn something here that will help me be a better boyfriend to her. Thomus out.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: neighbor on September 07, 2015, 01:47:36 AM
as a man I wouldnt want a 'mens only' area. this a forum for drug users. discussion is good.

if any women want a discussion without any input from men, I think a simple notification at the top of the thread would do the job pretty well.

and honestly, I'd cringe at the idea of an "Empowerment of Men" section, because of the ugly implications i.e. that we need to be more empowered.
and if I was a woman Id probably feel the same way. the same way if I was black, I'd cringe everytime 'black history month' rolled around.

the point being that there is an implied inferiority when you talk about empowering people who are already equal. (atleast in my mind. but then that might be the whole issue)


@shelley you seem so very bitter towards men, and I cant say I dont understand. you have no idea who the fuck I am but Ive been reading your posts for years so I know you as well as youve allowed yourself to be known. someone already said it, the men you spend your time with are probably not your average men. and while im sure youve spent time around average men, it probably wasnt nearly as long as the time youve spent around real pieces of shit. how could you not harbor any bad feelings towards men?
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 07, 2015, 02:06:50 AM
as a man I wouldnt want a 'mens only' area. this a forum for drug users. discussion is good.

if any women want a discussion without any input from men, I think a simple notification at the top of the thread would do the job pretty well.

and honestly, I'd cringe at the idea of an "Empowerment of Men" section, because of the ugly implications i.e. that we need to be more empowered.
and if I was a woman Id probably feel the same way. the same way if I was black, I'd cringe everytime 'black history month' rolled around.

the point being that there is an implied inferiority when you talk about empowering people who are already equal. (atleast in my mind. but then that might be the whole issue)


@shelley you seem so very bitter towards men, and I cant say I dont understand. you have no idea who the fuck I am but Ive been reading your posts for years so I know you as well as youve allowed yourself to be known. someone already said it, the men you spend your time with are probably not your average men. and while im sure youve spent time around average men, it probably wasnt nearly as long as the time youve spent around real pieces of shit. how could you not harbor any bad feelings towards men?

Hey Thoms--thank you Sir :)

Hey Neighbor--please see post #57 in which I ask the guys to just sit back & "listen". If they have an opinion, please feel free to PM the poster, applaud or ignore etc.

 ****I put the exception to this request there****

Idecided itd be best to ask this because the thread has (& continues to) get derailed from the title and equally important, this subforum was meant not to exclude men, but to have a space where the women could feel to speak freely to other women without fear of judgement.

If you read my initial responses, (look starting around #50 I think), i hope I've made it clear how much I (& I hope others) have enjoyed what EVERYONE has contributed. I know I have!  But, given the derails and feeling from other women that they don't feel like they can just "let it all hang out", I posted what I thought was reasonable above in #57.

Thanks to everyone for being so respectful of this already. I'll see if I can somehow change the title. 

Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: neighbor on September 07, 2015, 02:12:04 AM
my bad, I was going by what you said in your initial post. something like "guys opinions are welcome". I diddnt see the other disclaimer.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 07, 2015, 02:27:09 AM
my bad, I was going by what you said in your initial post. something like "guys opinions are welcome". I diddnt see the other disclaimer.

Seriously, no worries at all, my post wasn't meant in any negative way towards you (or the guys who posted).  Given the concerns voiced, I thought it would be reasonable to ask. I certainly didn't intend to come across as "no guys wanted" given I'd said initially that input from everyone was welcome. And had posted about things the guys had to say that I valued. (Post #57 was after hearing discontent and trying to find a reasonable compromise so the guys would know their input had been appreciated).  I sincerely apologize if you took it as me scolding or fussing.

Have a good one :)

Ok girls, am I the Lone Ranger as far as breast feeding "surprises"?!  ;)
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 07, 2015, 02:53:51 AM
Sorry, SW,  I have no kids so I've never fed anyone thru my boobs before! :) but my husband says he would die without them ...

You know when your tits gets all swollen before your period? Well every other month mine get like WHOA BABY, they're super full and tender...I often wonder how it is for lactating women and am sure it's much worse and even painful.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Jega on September 07, 2015, 03:10:31 AM
It's a biological response and I would have no problems with it.

If I had kids myself we would have bigger problems.

I had this discussion the other day and I think it's a generational shift in that we just don't care about breastfeeding.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: _Enduser on September 07, 2015, 03:21:10 AM
"in which I ask the guys to just sit back & "listen"-  Men wish ladies knew that men are incapable of just shutting the fuck up and listening sometimes/most of the time. 

I really don't feel like a woman or a man, personally, so I shouldn't respond to this thread buttttttt I've got one!!!!!! 
(The whole hunter gatherer theory on women being caregivers and why they "want to be homemakers" is complete bullshit and full of so many logical fallacies I don't want to address them; but it's obvious to me gender roles have nothing to do with nature; as anything doesn't anymore when you're talking about actual people and not animals....)


I wish men knew that having sex with a girl on her period is NO BIG DEAL, a little bit of blood never hurt anyone!  JUST THROW A FUCKING TOWEL DOWN!!!!!!


Makes for a good photo-op on white sheets even!

I like this thread, because it lets me know who is female and who I should hit on

JOKING JOKING JOKING

Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 07, 2015, 03:27:22 AM
Lol St T--it's kind if like that--only it happens several times a day. Ya feed the baby, they go down...ya *cant* get to baby when you're "full"...ooops!  Tenderness only until you nurse (& for me nowhere near as much as pre-period!). At least when you're swollen before your period, nothing leaks out!  I'm still holding a grudge about nobody warning me lol. Soooo embarrassing to be in public & everyone seeing your shirt while pretending NOT to see lol.

Jega, is it that you don't want to breast feed (which is your business of course), or are you not aware of the benefits to baby & you?  I'm just curious, so please don't feel like you have to reply.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Jega on September 07, 2015, 03:33:47 AM
Breast feed all you want! I appreciate if you do it secretly, but we're all mammals. This is how children are raised.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: candy on September 07, 2015, 04:43:31 AM
What I want to know is why so many men are grossed out at seeing a woman breast feed her baby, but don't mind seeing a pair of tits hardly covered at the beach.?
Breastfeeding is one of the most beautiful things a woman can do to feed and nourish her baby, not to mention the bond it creates.
Men can't do that!
Anyone care to explain how you feel about seeing a woman breast feed in public?

Did you know that if you place a newborn on their mother's belly, the baby will do this sort of push like motion to find the breast all by itself?
And it really happens. Seen it with my own eyes.  Babies just know what to do, it is mother's who are fucked over by the medical field and have their babies taken from them right after birth. I am all for home births if the mother and baby are both healthy and their is an emergency backup plan.
A new mother and her baby need to bond and there is no reason to rip the baby away after a few minutes.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 07, 2015, 05:04:39 AM
What I want to know is why so many men are grossed out at seeing a woman breast feed her baby, but don't mind seeing a pair of tits hardly covered at the beach.?
Breastfeeding is one of the most beautiful things a woman can do to feed and nourish her baby, not to mention the bond it creates.
Men can't do that!
Anyone care to explain how you feel about seeing a woman breast feed in public?

Did you know that if you place a newborn on their mother's belly, the baby will do this sort of push like motion to find the breast all by itself?
And it really happens. Seen it with my own eyes.  Babies just know what to do, it is mother's who are fucked over by the medical field and have their babies taken from them right after birth. I am all for home births if the mother and baby are both healthy and their is an emergency backup plan.
A new mother and her baby need to bond and there is no reason to rip the baby away after a few minutes.

Lol JUST SO IT'S CLEAR & NO ONE THINKS THEY SHOULDN'T REPLY--THIS QUESTION IS THE SORT OF "EXCEPTION" I MEANT IN POST #57 SO FEEL FREE TO SHARE GUYS

I'm curious too about this too. I HAD to nurse my daughter; she was allergic to everything except Alimentum & I still remember her father saying "sure it's natural, but so's taking a dump & you don't do that in the living room do you?"   ::eyeroll::
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Opus on September 07, 2015, 05:10:03 AM
Doesn't bug me at all. I'd rather see a kid being fed naturally than exclusively on formula..
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: candy on September 07, 2015, 09:22:15 AM
I used to get the ugliest looks when I would breast feed my son when we were out. I kept both him and my breast under a receiving blanket, but people would still look at me like I was the most disgusting thing they just fed.
Maybe I should of just let my baby cry in the restaurant or feed him in the hot car?

What would always get me was when other mothers would not only seem disgusted, but would make the stupidest comments. "How can you stand that?" How can I stand to feed my baby? What the fuck?
"It is so much easier to just bottle feed." How so? I didn't have to get up to make a bottle or warm on up. I didn't even have to get out of bed if I didn't need to."

Part of the problem is education from medical professionals. There are hospitals and OBGYN's who are starting to hire and have on staff, lactation specialists that work with pregnant mom's and dad's if they can be there to go through education to help a woman be successful at breastfeeding.

Yes, there are cracked nipples, leaking, babies not latching on well, and so much more to deal with, but the nourishment and bond are worth it.
Breastfeeding can also improve the immune system of babies mom, improve her mood, and increase her sex drive.

Of course there are many women who deal with terrible PPD(Post Partum Depression), illness, or other physical and emotional problems that can prevent her from breastfeeding.

While I agree that the breast is best, no woman should be shamed if she does not breastfeed.

And now father's can get the feeling of breastfeeding. A very tiny tube attached to a nipple is then attached to a bottle. The tube is taped to the area above the father's nipple, so that the tube is lying over the nipple. The baby is helped to latch on and with the taste of formula the baby will start to suckle and then dad gets to know what breast feeding is like.
It was how I had to start off my youngest feeding from the breast because he was in the NICU and my milk wasn't coming in well due to stress.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Chip on September 08, 2015, 09:53:57 AM
I use my talk less and listen/watch more.

drugs for sex is such a cold, cold transaction.

nope, not a cool transaction - I like real money for those types of transactions, it's wiser and seems less exploitative.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 08, 2015, 10:29:30 AM
And now father's can get the feeling of breastfeeding. A very tiny tube attached to a nipple is then attached to a bottle. The tube is taped to the area above the father's nipple, so that the tube is lying over the nipple. The baby is helped to latch on and with the taste of formula the baby will start to suckle and then dad gets to know what breast feeding is like.
It was how I had to start off my youngest feeding from the breast because he was in the NICU and my milk wasn't coming in well due to stress. /quote

Candy--I didn't know they had those for guys!!  I had to use them for a couple of weeks when my daughter was around 6 weeks due to stress too (finally had to get a protective Order b/c her father continued to be violent). I wonder how many men have tried it?  For the guys reading this that feel bottle is the same, all I can say is you might have a change of heart :)

Chipper--yes x1000   Though I never traded anything for sex, I can say that the emotional factors already involved (my experience only) are plenty to deal with. Big respect to you for not advocating using $$/drugs to get off.

--I wish men knew how valuable a woman feeling mentally/emotionally "safe" can be. I would've swum an ocean for my ex until that security disappeared.

--I wish men knew what a boost hearing "Baby, you look great today" can give :)
(Though I know I didn't always remember this myself)

--Same goes for flowers or a special dinner for no special reason :D  (I always did this!)
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: St. Theresa on September 08, 2015, 10:02:59 PM
Why did the blonde stop breastfeeding?

She said boiling her nipples hurt too much.


;)
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 09, 2015, 12:01:45 AM
Why did the blonde stop breastfeeding?

She said boiling her nipples hurt too much.


;)

Bwahaha!!! Just snorted my soda!!  Too funny.

Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: _Enduser on September 09, 2015, 03:43:15 AM
chipper someone just hasn't offered you enough drugs yet

aren't we all junkies?

Also, there is NOTHING ignoble about having sex work as a profession; the laws in the USA make it so, but there is nothing wrong with the occupation itself, and is respectable under the right circumstance (the right circumstance being an absence of coercion).  Many women actually choose this line of work, and many of our "family friends" in Greece are escorts/prostitutes.

It ain't trickin if you got it das what I say.

Also, Candy, how do I feel, as a male, seeing a woman breast feed in public?
-Suddenly I get thirsty!   ::)
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Daughter of Dionysus on September 09, 2015, 01:08:28 PM
Having sex on your
Period
Is just fucking nasty
I have never
Would never
Let hero fuck me
When I'm bleeding


I have a question
I asked it
On FAUX HAWK'S site
But I'm curious
It seems in movies
Women who are on top
(During sex)
Are portrayed as whores
But when it comes to those
Who are on bottom
Are portrayed as
Better than
As in not whores
I can't really think of the word I'm looking for

I believe that it is
AND unrealistic portrayal of women
Women who are on top
Are usually, in my mind,
Those who are in touch with their bodies
A woman who is in touch
With her body
And knows how to cum
Is far from a whore

Do y'all know that something
Like 70% of women
Don't know how to have an orgasm?

Now that's gotta be one miserable woman
Fer fucks sake
Learn how to have an orgasm
It's almost a guarantee
THAT you would enjoy life better

/rant
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Narkotikon on September 10, 2015, 02:14:44 PM
Having sex on your
Period
Is just fucking nasty
I have never
Would never
Let hero fuck me
When I'm bleeding


I have a question
I asked it
On FAUX HAWK'S site
But I'm curious
It seems in movies
Women who are on top
(During sex)
Are portrayed as whores
But when it comes to those
Who are on bottom
Are portrayed as
Better than
As in not whores
I can't really think of the word I'm looking for

I believe that it is
AND unrealistic portrayal of women
Women who are on top
Are usually, in my mind,
Those who are in touch with their bodies
A woman who is in touch
With her body
And knows how to cum
Is far from a whore

Do y'all know that something
Like 70% of women
Don't know how to have an orgasm?

Now that's gotta be one miserable woman
Fer fucks sake
Learn how to have an orgasm
It's almost a guarantee
THAT you would enjoy life better

/rant

The top v. bottom thing is interesting to me. 

I think it's a subliminal, although misogynistic, way of saying if women are beneath men then they're good.  If they're on top they're trying to be equal to, or above, men and are therefore bad (i.e., whores).

As for the women who don't orgasm.  Girls need to get a vibrator, vibrating egg, or The Rabbit.  Maybe the men in their lives just aren't cutting it. 
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 10, 2015, 02:35:48 PM
@Enduser and Narkiton--just a gentle reminder that because of concerns raised by some, it's been requested that the guys refrain from posting in this thread now (except for special circumstances), please see posts starting around #50, and particularly #57 and #62.  Many thanks.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Andi on September 11, 2015, 04:22:26 AM
Idk, i don't think it's as easy as getting a vibe. I know plenty of women who can climax but it's a 30 minute plus effort to reach. Fuck all that. If you can't get me off in under 3 minutes, you suck in bed and there is no hope for you. I even have references to this fact.  ;)

My personal opinion is how society views a woman who gets off. She must be easy if she cums like that and other such nonsense that women are looked upon. Not too mention all the hang ups one can have about their body. Women and men. It really takes shutting  off that annoying fucking voice in your head and be in the moment.


Other than that I have no qualms about what a man should know or not know. I'm lucky that I'm perfectly content with my partner. I believe we're all individuals. If I thought differently I'd be on the mindset that they're all worthless bastards, like my ex. With that option I'd either become asexual or a lesbian. Most likely the former.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 11, 2015, 06:02:43 AM
Andi you just made me think of something as far as how "society" affects us-remember that scene in the diner from "when Harry met Sally"?  Just about every sex scene in the movies/TV shows the woman getting off in less than a minute!  Geesh, no pressure there!

You're right about getting all the voices (& hang ups) to shut up lol. I always feel bad if I think its taking me "too long". I've decided now that however long it takes for both of us is however "long" it needs to be :D
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Jega on September 11, 2015, 06:09:25 AM
You're right about getting all the voices (& hang ups) to shut up lol. I always feel bad if I think its taking me "too long". I've decided now that however long it takes for both of us is however "long" it needs to be :D
As long as it happens and you both don't give up!
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Andi on September 11, 2015, 07:44:13 AM
Yes! And every movie it's always through penetration. The percent of women who achieve orgasm that way is even lower. It sets men and women up with unrealistic expectations.

Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Sand and Water on September 11, 2015, 09:02:59 AM
Apologies cuz my brain thinks weird when I run a fever, but too true ^^^ Andi!! 

It just struck me funny when I realized in the movies the under a minute orgasm is the ultimate humiliation for the guy, yet expected "norm" for the girl!  Talk about a double standard lol. In an odd way, I can now see what kind of pressure my guy might feel.

It's amazing how these stereotypes still linger. Can I get where I want to go quickly? Once in a while, but not usually. These scriptwriters must be thinking of Olympic style performers!
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Daughter of Dionysus on September 12, 2015, 02:29:15 AM
Having sex on your
Period
Is just fucking nasty
I have never
Would never
Let hero fuck me
When I'm bleeding


I have a question
I asked it
On FAUX HAWK'S site
But I'm curious
It seems in movies
Women who are on top
(During sex)
Are portrayed as whores
But when it comes to those
Who are on bottom
Are portrayed as
Better than
As in not whores
I can't really think of the word I'm looking for

I believe that it is
AND unrealistic portrayal of women
Women who are on top
Are usually, in my mind,
Those who are in touch with their bodies
A woman who is in touch
With her body
And knows how to cum
Is far from a whore

Do y'all know that something
Like 70% of women
Don't know how to have an orgasm?

Now that's gotta be one miserable woman
Fer fucks sake
Learn how to have an orgasm
It's almost a guarantee
THAT you would enjoy life better

/rant

The top v. bottom thing is interesting to me. 

I think it's a subliminal, although misogynistic, way of saying if women are beneath men then they're good.  If they're on top they're trying to be equal to, or above, men and are therefore bad (i.e., whores).

As for the women who don't orgasm.  Girls need to get a vibrator, vibrating egg, or The Rabbit.  Maybe the men in their lives just aren't cutting it.



I think you are spot on with
The top v bottom thing
I had never thought about it that way.

Women need to learn how to masterbate
It's not that hard
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Anti-hero on September 15, 2015, 03:30:59 AM
I just think I should state for the record that lesbians don't need to just get fucked right by a guy. LOL.

I have a co-worker who seems to think he can make me straight...if he keeps on I might have to hit him with a sexual harassment report, but I'm trying not to do it and just talk to him like a human being. He keeps making comments and eyeing me, it would be gross even if it was a woman.

I know this is an uncomfortable topic, sexual harassment...everyone likes a compliment...but it's really invasive and gross when you have someone invading your personal space...especially if they are physically a lot taller or larger than you. The other day the guy at work had me cornered, I was literally pressed into a corner...shiver.


I don't know if men realize how often women get suggestive or aggressive comments, you don't even really need to be hot or sexy or anything but there really are men that treat women like little more than a dick holder.

I know a lot of women in our "scene" get into really uncomfortable situations especially with drug dealers. Every male dealer I ever had basically let it be known that if I wanted to fuck for drugs it was on. Sigh. Not an advantage man, seriously. "you know if you just want to suck my dick I'll take a hundred off your tab" gag.

But I guess women have been trading pussy since the beginning of time. I'm just not sure if people realize how dehumanizing it is, or traumatic.

Also, girls are essentially told from birth that they should find a "prince charming" and pop out some kids. I'm fucking gay and am still pressured by family members and asked by others when we are going to have kids. How about fucking never? People act like there is something wrong with you for not wanting to reproduce. The last thing this world needs is a little junkette running around.

Sorry for the ramble. I know it's the 21st century but women still haven't over come their biology. I have always thought that the reason women have been subservient to men/seen as less than men is because we can get pregnant, which is basically disabling and potentially life threatening. If you think about caveman times a pregnant woman was a real liability...dependent on everyone else to survive

Sorry posted before I read no men
God guys can be stupid
But I got to say ask him if you rammed a solid in his ass
Would that make him gay
Shit like that really Fucking pisses me off
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Narkotikon on September 15, 2015, 10:46:38 AM
The whole "I can make you straight" thing directed toward lesbians by some men (IME, usually conservative, ignorant rednecks) is really fucking stupid.

I second what Hero said: ask him if ramming a 12'' dildo up his ass would make him gay. 

Those guys are so fucking stupid that he'd probably interpret it as a proposition.  He'd think you were interested in him, and that he could somehow convince you during the process that ramming something up his ass was the wrong use of the dildo.   ::)

...........................................

DoD, I'm glad I could provide some insight. 
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Chip on September 15, 2015, 10:49:45 AM
Here's my opinion of the differences between gay boys and lesbian women: gay boys remain almost exclusively gay but many lesbians can move between heterosexuality and homosexuality.
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Narkotikon on September 15, 2015, 10:59:26 AM
Here's my opinion of the differences between gay boys and lesbian women: gay boys remain almost exclusively gay but many lesbians can move between heterosexuality and homosexuality.

I think sexuality is on a continuum.  It's not black and white, although it can be that way for some. 

I know some gay guys who've chosen to sleep with women, to see what it's like.  IME, they've always said it didn't appeal to them.  They continued being gay afterward. 

I can see some lesbians wanting to experiment with a man, just to see what it's all about.  But I don't think most would be "converted," if any at all. 

Putting intercourse aside, I can see gay men or lesbian women being emotionally involved with the opposite sex.  I think that has more to do with emotions, and feeling that you really know / relate to / care for that person.  I don't think it's about sex at all.  I know I've felt somewhat romantic feelings toward women a few times in my past.  But I wasn't sexually attracted to them at all.  It was more like having a really good friend that I fell in love with. 
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Daughter of Dionysus on September 15, 2015, 12:13:30 PM
Here's my opinion of the differences between gay boys and lesbian women: gay boys remain almost exclusively gay but many lesbians can move between heterosexuality and homosexuality.

I think sexuality is on a continuum.  It's not black and white, although it can be that way for some. 

I know some gay guys who've chosen to sleep with women, to see what it's like.  IME, they've always said it didn't appeal to them.  They continued being gay afterward. 

I can see some lesbians wanting to experiment with a man, just to see what it's all about.  But I don't think most would be "converted," if any at all. 

Putting intercourse aside, I can see gay men or lesbian women being emotionally involved with the opposite sex.  I think that has more to do with emotions, and feeling that you really know / relate to / care for that person.  I don't think it's about sex at all.  I know I've felt somewhat romantic feelings toward women a few times in my past.  But I wasn't sexually attracted to them at all.  It was more like having a really good friend that I fell in love with.


I've been in love with
A couple of women

I don't really know where I'm going with this
But...
I can remember being in like 5th grade
And knowing that I liked girls

Then again I've been with the same
Man for 15 years
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Chip on September 15, 2015, 12:17:51 PM
^^^ proving my point, i reckon ...
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Daughter of Dionysus on September 15, 2015, 12:22:43 PM
Idk, i don't think it's as easy as getting a vibe. I know plenty of women who can climax but it's a 30 minute plus effort to reach. Fuck all that. If you can't get me off in under 3 minutes, you suck in bed and there is no hope for you. I even have references to this fact.  ;)

My personal opinion is how society views a woman who gets off. She must be easy if she cums like that and other such nonsense that women are looked upon. Not too mention all the hang ups one can have about their body. Women and men. It really takes shutting  off that annoying fucking voice in your head and be in the moment.


Other than that I have no qualms about what a man should know or not know. I'm lucky that I'm perfectly content with my partner. I believe we're all individuals. If I thought differently I'd be on the mindset that they're all worthless bastards, like my ex. With that option I'd either become asexual or a lesbian. Most likely the former.

I second this
If you can't make me com
In 3 mins
Shit I'll even give ya 4 mins
You suck

I've had some serious hang ups
About getting off
It used to be a control thing for me
I was never comfortable letting
A man make me cum
Until I got with my s/o
He's never acted as if it's a fuckin chore
Fuck that nonsense

Fuck Idk what I'm talking about

I guess I'm just trying
To see
How many fuckin times
I can say fuck in one  post

Fuck me
You fuckin fuck
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: neighbor on September 16, 2015, 08:07:03 AM
Quote
Having sex on your
Period
Is just fucking nasty
I have never
Would never
Let hero fuck me
When I'm bleeding



Do y'all know that something
Like 70% of women
Don't know how to have an orgasm?



Women need to learn how to masterbate
It's not that hard


you mean its not that wet  ;)

and as far as the sex during her period thing, I think it can either be very passionate or very disgusting, depending on the type of people involved and the quality of their sheets
Title: Re: Things we wish guys knew...
Post by: Anti-hero on September 16, 2015, 11:04:53 AM
Babe we did have a session
That one time in Tennessee
And although we didn't have intercourse
And you had a cork in your thingy
 You made me have one of the most awesome orgasms
I have ever had
Over the HeAd.
Never did that before oorthaur after
Fuck that maybe TMI
But you are awesome
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