dopetalk
Core Topics => Suicide and Ideation => Topic started by: Anti-hero on September 16, 2015, 12:08:47 PM
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Say a person has suicide idealations
Like all the time.
And they have had 3 people "off thereselfs"
Suicide is selfish they say.
But I kinda look at it like adoption.
As an act of love to say
If you are in that much pain
I am willing to let you go
What would you do?
I am not talking about me I just couldn't do it to HeAd
Or even my Mom and sister .
And it's haram to do it
Trying to start a conversation
I think addicts have these feelings
More than most
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only if you are terminal and your quality of life is miserable at best with no prospect of improvement, I support euthanasia.
all other suicide ideation can also pass quickly and is teansient.
I would do my best to talk anybody out of it because life is cyclic and it's better to wait out the bad times.
think of all the new drugs that you haven't tried yet - things eventually come right, by which time one may well become stronger.
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I think it depends on the person, their situation, and their experiences.
If a depressed teenager asked my opinion about them committing suicide, I'd probably tell them they really shouldn't do it. They're so young. They've got years of life ahead of them. They don't know things are always going to be bad, even though it may feel like it. I'd suggest they get help, therapy and / or medication.
Now, if it's an adult, who's lived 20, 30, 40+ years depressed and miserable on and off, and they had something like depression that just couldn't be treated adequately, despite them being in therapy or on medications for years. I'd also probably try to talk them out of it. But I'd also be more likely to accept their decision to commit suicide. Living in misery for such a long time is really unbearable. It's just too much to expect of someone. I think they have a right to happiness. And if suicide is their only solution to peace, I'm okay with that.
Likewise with severely ill patients who are terminal or not. Even if a person isn't terminal, but has been sick for years. I think they also have a right to peace and happiness. I'd be supportive of their decision to end their own life. I really think it's unwise to expect someone to suffer through life if they're miserable and unhappy, especially for years on end.
I wish more states had laws allowing doctors to practice / administer euthanasia. Part of a doctor's job is to prevent suffering. If it's logical to end someone's life to stop suffering, I have no problem with it. I think a lot of people allow their religious or spiritual beliefs to cloud this topic. They think it's a sin to commit suicide, so they're not willing to think of this topic rationally. Or even if they do think of it rationally, I think some would rather impose their beliefs on the suffering patient. That's not their right IMO.
Happiness, prosperity, and peace don't always mean life. It's about taking the specific situation into account, balancing the risks, and listening to what the person actually wants. Everyone has a right to peace and happiness.
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When I was 15-19 I had constant suicidal ideation and one night the only night I've ever taken shrooms The loud voice that says kill yourself just kept repeating and was very loud and I dont know why but sense then I've only had suicidal ideation once. When I woke up the next day it felt like the weight was lifted off my chest and I felt okay about myself and my situation. I also stopped taking all anti depressants the day after and smoked a lot of weed before I got arrested in 2013. But for some reason I had some weird epiphany and a lot of my depression faded. Luckily I haven't had anyone close to me commit suicide but for a while one of my family members was very close and it is so hard on everyone that loves you that it made me think of all that would be lost even if its misery its worth experiencing. I see it as a terrible thing to do to ones family and that it would be hard for anyone who loved that person to move on. I think back on my attempts and am so glad that I failed it gives me anxiety thinking how close I was and how much of the life I have experienced sense then would never of happened.
Griffin
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nevermind
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I think it depends on the person, their situation, and their experiences.
If a depressed teenager asked my opinion about them committing suicide, I'd probably tell them they really shouldn't do it. They're so young. They've got years of life ahead of them. They don't know things are always going to be bad, even though it may feel like it. I'd suggest they get help, therapy and / or medication.
Now, if it's an adult, who's lived 20, 30, 40+ years depressed and miserable on and off, and they had something like depression that just couldn't be treated adequately, despite them being in therapy or on medications for years. I'd also probably try to talk them out of it. But I'd also be more likely to accept their decision to commit suicide. Living in misery for such a long time is really unbearable. It's just too much to expect of someone. I think they have a right to happiness. And if suicide is their only solution to peace, I'm okay with that.
Likewise with severely ill patients who are terminal or not. Even if a person isn't terminal, but has been sick for years. I think they also have a right to peace and happiness. I'd be supportive of their decision to end their own life. I really think it's unwise to expect someone to suffer through life if they're miserable and unhappy, especially for years on end.
I wish more states had laws allowing doctors to practice / administer euthanasia. Part of a doctor's job is to prevent suffering. If it's logical to end someone's life to stop suffering, I have no problem with it. I think a lot of people allow their religious or spiritual beliefs to cloud this topic. They think it's a sin to commit suicide, so they're not willing to think of this topic rationally. Or even if they do think of it rationally, I think some would rather impose their beliefs on the suffering patient. That's not their right IMO.
Happiness, prosperity, and peace don't always mean life. It's about taking the specific situation into account, balancing the risks, and listening to what the person actually wants. Everyone has a right to peace and happiness.
I basically agree with all of this, except that I don't think death provides happiness or even technically peace: just the absence of pain and unhappiness. I think killing yourself because you think there's something better waiting for you is delusional. But doing it because you know your life's unhappiness, pain, etc is more than you can (or want to) bear in the long run, that's legit.
Suicidal ideation is temporary and passes, that is true, and yes circumstances can always change. But if someone is an adult and has had a long enough period of unhappiness/pain/illness that they would rather end those things than take a chance at getting better, I think we should respect that, especially if it's a decision that have thought about and not just one that comes and then goes away completely when they are having a better day.
I do think its easier to have this point of view in the abstract rather than if its someone you love. But I have a friend who is in a lot of psychic pain, and he's old enough that it probably wont get much better, plus he's got a lot of illnesses that limit his life. If he really made the conscious decision to die I would hate it, but knowing what life is and has been like for him, I'd feel like I understood. And my desire to keep him around selfishly isn't enough to change that, because all my love and presence in his life wouldn't take his pain away.
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I don't see suicide as selfish (unless we're talking about someone who is too young to have experienced enough about what life is about to make an informed decision, when that happens it's usually a rash decision over something easily solvable), I think the friends and family of people who are truly miserable that urge the miserable person to stick around when they have no quality of life (mentally or physically) are the ones who are selfish. What do they say, 'if you love something, let it go'? I also don't think suicide is cowardly, I think it takes a lot of balls to follow through on it. I certainly don't romanticize suicide, but in a way, I kind of respect people who have the guts to die on their own terms. Ultimately, our lives are our own, and if you're not enjoying it (life), I think you should have the right to stop living.
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I'd call it selfish (for instance) if it was a father or mother of dependent children and did it without making financial and emotional preparations (adoption by someone more able to raise the children and have them understand without terribly scarring them, if that is even possible) beforehand.
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Haram indeed. And unchristian to boot.
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Well the reason for this is cause
I have had 2 people who have killed there sells
That I really feel like I had a hand in
My dads well that's another story.
It's just who what and if I would have did something different
My dad just gives me really low self esteem.
And I do try to look it as
That must have been pain beyond my level
So I do think about
To have one more just a chance to say.
I adored you more than you can ever know.
I would have did anything for you.
But I didn't.
And some times it just makes me wonder
Well allot of times from fall to winter
My grandma did it Sept 12
My dad December 26
My buddy well that was an o.d
But I do think I had a hand in it
Could I've held there hand and got them through it.
Every every says no.
Sometimes I really feel like
Just what if.
In my mind it would be like getting arrested for murder
That you did
not getting convicted of it
But you still have blood in your hands.
So people who are thinking of this
This is what you leave behind
Notes/whole life insurance. Dont answer
These questions
So if you do think you could go thought with it
This is your legacy.
Plus if you vm.me or e mail
I will talk day night when ever
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Screamin automatic pain - JAMC
I feel that I had a hand in my friend's recent death from an od. He bought $700 of dope through a connect that I set him up with, plus about 30 2mg Xanax bars for another $100. Was about 5-6g of nice brown smack. I wished I could have cleaned out his hotel room before the cops came to retrieve his body and investigate. He still had about 4g of dope and hundreds, HUNDREDS of dollars in cash in there, which were undoubtedly taken by a greasy grimy Fairfax County cop right into his pocket.
I remember the ride back to ol' Virginny from DC where we scored, high as shit off dope and Xanax. Good times.
I feel real guilty about that. But I know it was unintentional. He wouldn't have offed himself with a 12 year-old daughter who was the love of his life.
I'm just worried that the cops will unlock his iPhone and look at all the text messages between him and me about going "shopping."
Goodbye, David. I'll miss you.
And damn, I had just introduced him to the genius of Brian Jonestown Massacre. Like the day before. He immediately went home and posted BJM on his music interests on his FB page.
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Screamin automatic pain - JAMC
I feel that I had a hand in my friend's recent death from an od. He bought $700 of dope through a connect that I set him up with, plus about 30 2mg Xanax bars for another $100. Was about 5-6g of nice brown smack. I wished I could have cleaned out his hotel room before the cops came to retrieve his body and investigate. He still had about 4g of dope and hundreds, HUNDREDS of dollars in cash in there, which were undoubtedly taken by a greasy grimy Fairfax County cop right into his pocket.
I remember the ride back to ol' Virginny from DC where we scored, high as shit off dope and Xanax. Good times.
I feel real guilty about that. But I know it was unintentional. He wouldn't have offed himself with a 12 year-old daughter who was the love of his life.
I'm just worried that the cops will unlock his iPhone and look at all the text messages between him and me about going "shopping."
Goodbye, David. I'll miss you.
And damn, I had just introduced him to the genius of Brian Jonestown Massacre. Like the day before. He immediately went home and posted BJM on his music interests on his FB page.
I'm sorry for your loss Zoops. Its not your fault though. I will never blame the person who provided the drugs for someone's OD for there death. It's just silly. We all know that we play with fire and that getting burned as a very real possibility. If I was you I would be pretty concerned if they actually decide to investigate where he got the drugs though. But usually unless there is a family member in the cops ear about it they just bag me up and call it another dead junky.
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Makita- "I don't think death provides happiness or even technically peace: just the absence of pain and unhappiness". Good thought. And sorry to hear that Zoops.
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I'd call it selfish (for instance) if it was a father or mother of dependent children and did it without making financial and emotional preparations (adoption by someone more able to raise the children and have them understand without terribly scarring them, if that is even possible) beforehand.
People talk alot about suicide being selfish or not... my husband killed himself when he was in his late twenties; we married young and had a one year old little girl and an almost five year old son. I was left to raise the kids alone; as evidenced by the note he left, he didn't put a lot of thought into how that would be for me. I did it, as well as I could, and those kids are grown now.
Yes, my husband was depressed; probably undiagnosed bipolar, actually. He refused to get treatment. He had a lot of family support, truly he did. He was a medical student (but that is not why he killed himself, in my opinion). Depression is treatable in most or at least many cases; at least the pain can be lessened and there can be periods of light.
It's a form of abandonment - telling your child that you didn't even give enough fucks about him to stick around. Our daughter did mostly OK; she was only a baby and is happily married now with a little baby of her own. She actively seeks treatment to manage her genetic predisposition to depression and anxiety (in fact she has a graduate degree in psychological counseling and works in the field now).
Our son? The one with the same name as his dad? He was the "mini-me" for daddy. His life was never, ever the same. He never got over it. He's been hospitalized twice for severe, severe depression with psychosis. Long story. Sad story.
So I would tell people who are considering suicide that if you have children I think you really, really need to think long and hard about ending your life.
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yeah, I was talking to an old Black dude the day before yesterday and told him the whole story. Stupid as shit, í know.
But damn I miss that guy. Almost seems a bit gay for me to miss another man so much.
- Zoops
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I witnessed something very similar to Sue, young father got selfish and offed himself, leaving a toddler. Kid is fucked for life, fucked from the day his mom told him what happened to his dad. He probably got some great genes from his dad too, two perfectly good lives fucked over some some temporary bullshit.
Just horrible.
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yeah, I was talking to an old Black dude the day before yesterday and told him the whole story. Stupid as shit, í know.
But damn I miss that guy. Almost seems a bit gay for me to miss another man so much.
- Zoops
That's not gay at all. There are guy friends that I have list that I can say I really loved them.
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I witnessed something very similar to Sue, young father got selfish and offed himself, leaving a toddler. Kid is fucked for life, fucked from the day his mom told him what happened to his dad. He probably got some great genes from his dad too, two perfectly good lives fucked over some some temporary bullshit.
Just horrible.
To borrow someone's else's line
Living in the shadow of a man I barley new
I know your you mother and your brother and your sister too
Man I wish that I knew you.
I think of this allot it's like how, what was going through their mind when they did it.
And it's the exact opposite for me. My sister is older and has memory off my dad.I don't our the ones I do have are not reliable
Bedside I was to young.
She has the normal life
Me I'm fucked form the get
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Wow. Hero I had no idea. I am sorry for your loss, although that is lame it's all I've got. Losing a parent young (or a child @any age) is MUCH harder in my experience than losing a spouse/partner. It just is.
And I am sorry for everyone who's had to go through something like this; I do understand pain (and I do understand suicide if there is no hope, as in a terminal illness).
One could argue that depression is (in some cases) a terminal illness. But it doesn't have to be. And it is truly horrific what it does to a kid's self-esteem.
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My sister just last week on a tri-polar drug induced episode basically made a noose, hung it in the garage and announced to my mother and her 8 year old son that she was ending it all. Because no one loves her, she is a joke and a bunch of shit that just isn't true.
Very sad and very sick. My little nephew looked at my mother and said that his mother is selfish. He said anyone who would do that is selfish. All my mom could do is tell him if she does it's not his fault.
Even threatening to kill ones self is damaging to loved ones. It's taking people's emotions hostage and fucked up as all shit.
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Feeling for you guys...so sorry for all the loss...
I do have a question...Chops made me think of it...my brother's girlfriend has never told her children how their father died...I am concerned that they will find out by other means and be very angered by this...I do understand not telling the youngest at the time ( he was 5 ) but she has yet to tell any of them...the two oldest are in their early 20's now...I think she's making a mistake keeping it from them....
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Feeling for you guys...so sorry for all the loss...
I do have a question...Chops made me think of it...my brother's girlfriend has never told her children how their father died...I am concerned that they will find out by other means and be very angered by this...I do understand not telling the youngest at the time ( he was 5 ) but she has yet to tell any of them...the two oldest are in their early 20's now...I think she's making a mistake keeping it from them....
OMG she has to tell them! Terrible if they find out by other means; I took my little boy (when he was 5 years old) to a child shrink and we were able to tell him "daddy's brain was sick and he did a terrible thing, etc. etc". He didn't really process it until later - hell, he's in his 30's now and STILL hasn't really processed it - but those kids HAVE to know they can trust and depend on their remaining parent ... that she'll always be straight up with them. Wonder how she's kept it quiet so long? Again, imo terrible if they find out from someone else.
The more we talk about suicide (as in "depression kills") the less stigma will occur and the more education will happen.
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Feeling for you guys...so sorry for all the loss...
I do have a question...Chops made me think of it...my brother's girlfriend has never told her children how their father died...I am concerned that they will find out by other means and be very angered by this...I do understand not telling the youngest at the time ( he was 5 ) but she has yet to tell any of them...the two oldest are in their early 20's now...I think she's making a mistake keeping it from them....
OMG she has to tell them! Terrible if they find out by other means; I took my little boy (when he was 5 years old) to a child shrink and we were able to tell him "daddy's brain was sick and he did a terrible thing, etc. etc". He didn't really process it until later - hell, he's in his 30's now and STILL hasn't really processed it - but those kids HAVE to know they can trust and depend on their remaining parent ... that she'll always be straight up with them. Wonder how she's kept it quiet so long? Again, imo terrible if they find out from someone else.
The more we talk about suicide (as in "depression kills") the less stigma will occur and the more education will happen.
I totally agree with you...she told the older two he died of a heart attack...not sure about the youngest....I just feel they will resent and or not trust her after they find out...
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My mom off'ed herself on Fentanyl. I've never publicly admitted that before out in the open like this. That was before but this thread hit me.
Do you hsve Kids?
This changed them. Forever. I know people say it doesn't. To be frank the are make the shit trying to make the best of a saturation.
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My mom off'ed herself on Fentanyl. I've never publicly admitted that before out in the open like this. That was before but this thread hit me.
Do you hsve Kids?
This changed them. Forever. I know people say it doesn't. To be frank the are make the shit trying to make the best of a saturation.
Jega....I'm so very sorry...I meant no disrespect in my posts....
As a matter of fact...night before last my Mom had another stroke...this is her second one...she can't walk without help and while it could have been a lot worse...tonight she was threatening to kill herself...her biggest fear is to be a complete invalid depending on someone else...
I'm sorry Jega....
Edit to add....yes I have 2 kids
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My sister just last week on a tri-polar drug induced episode basically made a noose, hung it in the garage and announced to my mother and her 8 year old son that she was ending it all. Because no one loves her, she is a joke and a bunch of shit that just isn't true.
Very sad and very sick. My little nephew looked at my mother and said that his mother is selfish. He said anyone who would do that is selfish. All my mom could do is tell him if she does it's not his fault.
Even threatening to kill ones self is damaging to loved ones. It's taking people's emotions hostage and fucked up as all shit.
Do you want me to suffer or take my life? For a lot of people its not just a temporary thing. They cant find happiness on a daily basis. Here, Ill stay miserable everyday of my life so that lil Johnny can say his aunt didnt kill herself. If this truly affects me everyday from now till then, then how long is "X" gonna miss me after Im gone compared to the suffrage Im going to face to stay on this earth and pleasse the thought of him not having to go through " trauma".
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My sister just last week on a tri-polar drug induced episode basically made a noose, hung it in the garage and announced to my mother and her 8 year old son that she was ending it all. Because no one loves her, she is a joke and a bunch of shit that just isn't true.
Very sad and very sick. My little nephew looked at my mother and said that his mother is selfish. He said anyone who would do that is selfish. All my mom could do is tell him if she does it's not his fault.
Even threatening to kill ones self is damaging to loved ones. It's taking people's emotions hostage and fucked up as all shit.
Do you want me to suffer or take my life? For a lot of people its not just a temporary thing. They cant find happiness on a daily basis. Here, Ill stay miserable everyday of my life so that lil Johnny can say his aunt didnt kill herself. If this truly affects me everyday from now till then, then how long is "X" gonna miss me after Im gone compared to the suffrage Im going to face to stay on this earth and pleasse the thought of him not having to go through " trauma".
Hmm. Well, let's see ...were you threatening to kill yourself in this thread? I have no idea why you're even quoting me. I'm talking about a temporary issues, and if someone isn't even trying to help themselves then I can't help them either.
Kill yourself.
Feel better?
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Kill yourself.
Feel better?
All the time.
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Kill yourself.
Feel better?
All the time.
La petite mort (the little death )
If you dint know what it means Google
If it was just that easy
Pretty sure that brings life
Yea when I posted this I wasn't talking about
The persons pain
It was more on what's
Left behind
Most of us who have been left behind
Well eventually come to the conclusion
That if it was that much pain
But when that person reaches that point
Are they aware of the collateral damage.
And if so does it push them more?
If it's not a medical issue
Then allot of these things can be corrected
Matter of fact if it's medical
Then I don't even think you should call it that
Emotional pain.
That's what drugs are for
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Sory Hero1, this doesn't answer your questions specifically but some of these comments just ugh, make me so mad.
My partner (my fucking soul mate) killed himself when I was pregnant with our only child 11 years ago and he wasn't selfish- he was sick.
Depression is an illness that can be fucking crippling, just as goddamn debilitating as physical illnesses can be.
His suicide absolutely fucked me up, but I get why he did it and I have also felt as if the greatest gift I could give my loved ones is to release them from having me as a burden in their lives when I have been in the grips of my depression... that's how you see it when you're in the pit. So don't talk about selfish this and selfish that- a person's mind isn't working properly when they are suicidal FFS.
I have an 11 year old and I am a fucking recluse because of my anxiety- you think it's good for her? I didn't expect my illness to get this bad and I sure as shit didn't expect my partner to gas himself when I was 4 months pregnant but it is what it is and I deal with it as best I can.
I am pretty confident that I will end my life when my beautiful daughter has moved out and has a fulfilled, adult life.
Why? Because my bipolar II and depression keeps coming back and I am already in my mid 40's.
And, unfortunately, all the meds and therapy in the world aren't preventing repeated depressive episodes and I can't live a fully functioning, happy life as a result (or hold down a proper job, or have a social life etc etc etc).
And FTR, how fucking selfish is it of you (general you) to expect someone to hang around hating their lives simply because you can't handle missing someone? Isn't that selfish too? Putting your feels before their chance at peace?
And as for the inevitable "you shouldn't have had a kid if you think like that" comments;
I didn't think I could fall pregnant, I was 34 years old and when my partner killed himself and I didn't have a termination because I had a breakdown and was incapable of making any sort of decision like that.
Plus, when my daughter came into my world she gave me a reason to keep going.
But she wont always be here, so I am ok with the use by date coming up.
It doesn't help that I didn't get a proper diagnosis until my kid was around 7 years old, so I didn't realise I had issues that getting my shit together wouldn't fix (ie, getting clean, moving to a better area etc... I thought that would solve the problems but it didn't).
I didn't realise this shit was for life.
Hindsight is always 20/20 vision and all that... would I have had my daughter if I had the chance over again? Maybe (she's fucking awesome and I love her so goddamn much it scares me sometimes) but maybe not, because my MI is hard on her too and she didn't ask for that.
Honestly, what are you supposed to do if the symptoms keep getting worse as you age? Drag your sorry arse through another 30 years of life feeling hopeless, isolated and miserable with chronic anxiety to spare other people feeling sad for a little while? Fuck that noise.
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<snip>
I am pretty confident that I will end my life when my beautiful daughter has moved out and has a fulfilled, adult life.
Why? Because my bipolar II and depression keeps coming back and I am already in my mid 40's.
And, unfortunately, all the meds and therapy in the world aren't preventing repeated depressive episodes and I can't live a fully functioning, happy life as a result (or hold down a proper job, or have a social life etc etc etc).
<snip>
Please don't be such a fatalist but if that's your plan then PLEASE revisit this thread and contact me, WELL BEFORE you take any action.
Things will change, NEVER forget that.
LIFE, fleeting as it is, is still PRECIOUS. it took me a couple of attempts at my own life to appreciate that.
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If your single and unattached then i think you have a right to kill yourself. [if i were to factor in my religious beliefs, i would say noone ever has a right to take their own life because your life is mot your own]. If you have any kids or people who depend on you for care, then you dont get to kill yourself. I think you never stop being a parent, so once you have kids you cant kill yourself.
Killing yourself when you have young children is one of the most selfish acts i can think of.
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I just really wish I knew what happened when you die. That would solve so many problems.
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I just really wish I knew what happened when you die. That would solve so many problems.
Part of the design is that we don't get to know that. But there are tons and tons of NDE reports of things. Look up the book "Proof of Heaven," by Eben Alexander, MD. Not a religious book by any stretch.
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I just really wish I knew what happened when you die. That would solve so many problems.
Part of the design is that we don't get to know that. But there are tons and tons of NDE reports of things. Look up the book "Proof of Heaven," by Eben Alexander, MD. Not a religious book by any stretch.
I understand that and I understand I will most likely never fully understand what happens after death until it happens to me (and even then, I might not understand it because I might not be there to understand it) - it's just a wish.
As for NDEs, I've read up on them a bit - but I just don't buy that if someone can be brought back that they were ever really dead to begin with. Doesn't make them uninteresting or anything, I just don't think it's a full "death" experience.
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i support euthanasia BECAUSE it's all about timing.
get your affairs in order, slowly peel off and remove all the various social circle layers of your life.
slowly drugged off to death, hoping to return again one day.
by demand.
Suicide is just lose-lose, i now see it as.
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@elevated,
I've been dead for over 45 seconds. I didn't see a light at the end of a tunnel.
I had no pulse, 0 blood pressure, obviously no respiratory action.
I was shocked 4 times, when I woke up 3 days later my sternum and 9 ribs were broken from the chest compressions.
Not fun, especially waking up and trying to rip the breathing tube and urinary cat out at the same time.
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@elevated,
I've been dead for over 45 seconds. I didn't see a light at the end of a tunnel.
I had no pulse, 0 blood pressure, obviously no respiratory action.
I was shocked 4 times, when I woke up 3 days later my sternum and 9 ribs were broken from the chest compressions.
Not fun, especially waking up and trying to rip the breathing tube and urinary cat out at the same time.
I definitely wanna know what happened now...Car wreck or a savage beating?
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Stroke.
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Stroke.
Right. Well, if you need help, in whatever fashion, pm me.
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Thanks for the offer. Suprisingly the only lasting effect from that is a shake in my left hand that isn't noticeable unless I stick out both hands and you compare them.
I lucked out on that one. Apparently it was caused by traveling on planes for extended times, all the pressure and such dislodged a clot in a leg or something.
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Thanks for the offer. Suprisingly the only lasting effect from that is a shake in my left hand that isn't noticeable unless I stick out both hands and you compare them.
I lucked out on that one. Apparently it was caused by traveling on planes for extended times, all the pressure and such dislodged a clot in a leg or something.
Your doctor said the leg-clot was dislodged by traveling in a airplane?
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That's what the neurologist suspected at the time, or at the very least caused them to form.
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Wow so much raw pain in this thread. I admire all of you for your honesty.
I agree with what skramamme said about how a suicidal person's brain is broken and they are not capable of thinking clearly, or foreseeing the pain and trauma of others who may be dependent on them. This is not a great example but sometimes I think about it like how you can have these great lofty plans and reasons to quit, but then when you're really dope sick all of those things can seem unreal, or less important, than your current agony. It's not at all logical and that is the point--very few people who are suicidally depressed or for other mental illness reasons are capable of seeing their situation logically while in the depths of their pain (as opposed to those who have made a conscious, planned decision to die).
I also think there's a difference between suicidal depression or transitory suicidal thinking, and people who have recurring mental illness and have made a conscious planned decision to die that makes sense to them when they are NOT in the throes of their illness.
I dont know you well enough to think which of those you fall under, skramamme; it sounds like there are some aspects of your plans that are thought out over the long term, and others that may be distorted...Like the idea that there is some threshold your daugher can pass after which she would be safe from the trauma of her mother's suicide, and would merely grieve for you like any other normal death, instead of being shattered by it. That seems like something you tell yourself when you don't feel you have a choice in the matter.
So what seems like a clear and matter of fact situation on the surface may be filled with the same uncertainty, fear, and regret on the inside that is so upsetting for people in the middle of an irrational suicidal cycle.
I think its likely that your daughter alreadys feels on some unconscious level what you're feeling and planning. And I don't say that to make you feel guilty at all, but just to acknowledge that you can't be holding something this huge and not have it be present in that relationship in some way. Its like how the kids always start acting out when the parents are getting a divorce, even if they haven't been told yet, and then when finally its explained to them they calm down because all the tension and anxiety in the house makes sense finally. The problem with never acknowledging the elephant in the room is the kid starts to think she's the one with the trunk. Maybe as she grows a different way of holding onto these feelings will become possible for both of you, and that release of pressure and loneliness could be a tremendous relief.
No matter what I have huge respect for your time and your commitment to your daughter, and I would never call you selfish. Most parents have no idea what you've gone through and what it took to keep you from losing it already.
I hope when she grows up maybe something will have shifted for you, but if it hasn't, I'm sure you will ultimately do the best you can for your daughter and also for yourself. People who kill themselves are almost always doing the best they can, even if it doesn't seem like that from the outside.
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Stroke.
Right. Well, if you need help, in whatever fashion, pm me.
Well that was
The post I have ever seen you make
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Wow so much raw pain in this thread. I admire all of you for your honesty.
I agree with what skramamme said about how a suicidal person's brain is broken and they are not capable of thinking clearly, or foreseeing the pain and trauma of others who may be dependent on them. This is not a great example but sometimes I think about it like how you can have these great lofty plans and reasons to quit, but then when you're really dope sick all of those things can seem unreal, or less important, than your current agony. It's not at all logical and that is the point--very few people who are suicidally depressed or for other mental illness reasons are capable of seeing their situation logically while in the depths of their pain (as opposed to those who have made a conscious, planned decision to die).
I also think there's a difference between suicidal depression or transitory suicidal thinking, and people who have recurring mental illness and have made a conscious planned decision to die that makes sense to them when they are NOT in the throes of their illness.
I dont know you well enough to think which of those you fall under, skramamme; it sounds like there are some aspects of your plans that are thought out over the long term, and others that may be distorted...Like the idea that there is some threshold your daugher can pass after which she would be safe from the trauma of her mother's suicide, and would merely grieve for you like any other normal death, instead of being shattered by it. That seems like something you tell yourself when you don't feel you have a choice in the matter.
So what seems like a clear and matter of fact situation on the surface may be filled with the same uncertainty, fear, and regret on the inside that is so upsetting for people in the middle of an irrational suicidal cycle.
I think its likely that your daughter alreadys feels on some unconscious level what you're feeling and planning. And I don't say that to make you feel guilty at all, but just to acknowledge that you can't be holding something this huge and not have it be present in that relationship in some way. Its like how the kids always start acting out when the parents are getting a divorce, even if they haven't been told yet, and then when finally its explained to them they calm down because all the tension and anxiety in the house makes sense finally. The problem with never acknowledging the elephant in the room is the kid starts to think she's the one with the trunk. Maybe as she grows a different way of holding onto these feelings will become possible for both of you, and that release of pressure and loneliness could be a tremendous relief.
No matter what I have huge respect for your time and your commitment to your daughter, and I would never call you selfish. Most parents have no idea what you've gone through and what it took to keep you from losing it already.
I hope when she grows up maybe something will have shifted for you, but if it hasn't, I'm sure you will ultimately do the best you can for your daughter and also for yourself. People who kill themselves are almost always doing the best they can, even if it doesn't seem like that from the outside.
You make my fucking brain hurt. Please summarize.
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Makita posted a well thought out and heartfelt reply, while you contribute nothing to the conversation @Riddick.
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Makita posted a well thought out and heartfelt reply, while you contribute nothing to the conversation @Riddick.
And what did you contribute? Lmao...the self-righteous people in this bitch....
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Makita posted a well thought out and heartfelt reply, while you contribute nothing to the conversation @Riddick.
I do like your name though...
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You make my fucking brain hurt. Please summarize.
Maybe if you used it more often you wouldn't have such problems. How's that for a fucking summary?
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You make my fucking brain hurt. Please summarize.
Maybe if you used it more often you wouldn't have such problems. How's that for a fucking summary?
Hahahaha...That made no sense but it was good for a laugh. Thanks man.
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You:
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^^^ omg, THAT'S SO RIGHT.
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Ya know what?
Fuck that noise
Your mother obviously never
Told you
If you can't say
Something nice
Don't say anything at all
Ugh...
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if Riddick upsets one more person then he will lose his voice for a spell.
he has been told, one time too many. but i do not dislike him, to be honest - he just needs a lot of work.
feel free to report any posts deemed 'nasty' or 'inflammatory' via the Report Post to Moderator facility
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Ya know what?
Fuck that noise
Your mother obviously never
Told you
If you can't say
Something nice
Don't say anything at all
Ugh...
Back in 1973, my grandmother once told me:
"If ever there should be a something called an Impernet, and you're able to talk via typing with people from all over the world, and you should encounter an unpleasant person, you should be able to press an "IGNORE" key, or something like that, and not have to worry about that person anymore. And if this unpleasant person should have an overall negative effect on most of the people in this Typy-Talk place, then perhaps they should vote democratically to kick that bad person out."
Come to think of it, she was rather prescient.
But if ~95.37% of a member's interactions at this place are negative, ya gotta consider what's best for the majority: no need to bend over backwards to accommodate a person that few can tolerate.
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.
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@morphy
Cool logic but what if you apply that to drugs.
I KNOW red dick (must have callous on his hands)
Is being a total ass hat.
But I think waaaaay deep inside
There might be a decent person
He has a drug problem so that must mean some emotional scars.
He just needs a hug
YEA FUCKIN RIGHT
Go away Riddick.