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Author Topic: cancelled order from RC supplier  (Read 22168 times)

Offline Roman Totale

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Re: cancelled order from RC supplier
« Reply #14 from previous page: June 08, 2016, 03:35:38 AM »
yeah man I sampled some clonazolam about a month ago. Fuck 1.5mg put me out the game for like 36 hours for real. (with PST also that might have influenced it some).

I'm more interested in substituted cathinones.

@Zoops  Clonazolam, and to an even greater extent flubrazolam, are super-strong, amnesia-inducing, and also take a long time to come up, which is an overall bad RC benzo trifecta (especially with opiates involved, it goes without saying). 

I've tried them both and prefer the clonazolam, mainly for safety reasons, but don't like either because a one-hour come-up makes for a crummy benzodiazepine in my book.  I would say they are an order of magnitude more dangerous than RC etizolam, which of course is less predictable than the commercial variety.  The diclazepam and flubrazopam seem much safer, though I missed the boat on them.
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Offline theSWPK

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Re: cancelled order from RC supplier
« Reply #15 on: June 08, 2016, 11:24:26 AM »
nothing will ever compare to my love for bkMDMA
NOTHING
(and this 2-oxo-pce aint much of an MXE replacement)

I like methylone but I love some 4-mec. Mmm
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Offline Zoops (OP)

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Re: cancelled order from RC supplier
« Reply #16 on: June 08, 2016, 07:14:44 PM »
I keep tellin y'all ya need to get some dibutylone in your LIFE! I wouldn't recommend it if it wasn't totally all around kick ass. Sweet euphoria with no crazy-ass paranoid, homicidal or just plain nonsensical delusions. And the comedown is nice and smooth with no soul-crushing depression. At least for me it is.

Really nice,

although a bit more-ish. 



:o



How could it not be?

(I got 3.5g coming in tomorrow's post)  :))
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"The future ain't what it used to be."
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Offline theSWPK

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Re: cancelled order from RC supplier
« Reply #17 on: June 09, 2016, 12:37:05 AM »
I keep tellin y'all ya need to get some dibutylone in your LIFE! I wouldn't recommend it if it wasn't totally all around kick ass. Sweet euphoria with no crazy-ass paranoid, homicidal or just plain nonsensical delusions. And the comedown is nice and smooth with no soul-crushing depression. At least for me it is.

Really nice,

although a bit more-ish. 



:o



How could it not be?

(I got 3.5g coming in tomorrow's post)  :))

I miss doing Stims, good times, stuff crumbles my perception of what's real now. It has at times lasted more than a month from one night's binge.

Sometimes I get set off from seemingly silly things. For example walking into the kitchen and the wood grain or cabinet stain shade is off, tiny details seem wrong, then BAM. Intense horror. Are my surroundings real or recreation?

Dextroamp binge + near death experience = dissociative disorder.

Sometimes things seem too ironic to be real, but I've learned to deal with it. Synchronicity delusions.

For example, (at time of research) the only pharmaceutical that showed promise in treating depersonalization/derealization disorder was... naltrexone. Fucking come on now.
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Offline Zoops (OP)

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Re: cancelled order from RC supplier
« Reply #18 on: June 09, 2016, 07:10:54 AM »
I miss doing Stims, good times, stuff crumbles my perception of what's real now. It has at times lasted more than a month from one night's binge.

Sometimes I get set off from seemingly silly things. For example walking into the kitchen and the wood grain or cabinet stain shade is off, tiny details seem wrong, then BAM. Intense horror. Are my surroundings real or recreation?

Dextroamp binge + near death experience = dissociative disorder.

Sometimes things seem too ironic to be real, but I've learned to deal with it. Synchronicity delusions.

For example, (at time of research) the only pharmaceutical that showed promise in treating depersonalization/derealization disorder was... naltrexone. Fucking come on now.

That's exactly what I'm talking about when I say "just plain nonsensical delusions." Can't you just know it's not real? - That feeling that it's all a computer simulation, I mean after the stuff wears off and you get your feet firmly planted in opiated reality/space again?
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"The future ain't what it used to be."
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- Yogi Berra

"Drugs are so fucking good....that they'll ruin your life."
- Louis C.K.

Offline theSWPK

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Re: cancelled order from RC supplier
« Reply #19 on: June 09, 2016, 09:06:00 AM »
It just don't jive for me.

I had a very bad psychosis episode on vyvanse. This one topped them all for me. The big daddy psychotic break. Involving audible, visual as well as tactile hallucinations. Pushed me to break.

I just don't ever ever want to be in a depersonalized state if I can avoid it. It's a cold and lonely way to live. I could see it being fun for a few hours on a trip, but when you've been that way for months it loses any appeal. I though I was insane, took over 2 years to find out what DPD was, I thought I was alone in it. It's hard to explain to someone that you live life from an emotionless 3rd person point of view and have a broken sense of ego. "I" starts to lose any meaning. If you read up on the different personal accounts of depersonalization disorder, you'll see what I mean.
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Offline Zoops (OP)

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Re: cancelled order from RC supplier
« Reply #20 on: June 09, 2016, 11:59:19 AM »
It just don't jive for me.

I had a very bad psychosis episode on vyvanse. This one topped them all for me. The big daddy psychotic break. Involving audible, visual as well as tactile hallucinations. Pushed me to break.

I just don't ever ever want to be in a depersonalized state if I can avoid it. It's a cold and lonely way to live. I could see it being fun for a few hours on a trip, but when you've been that way for months it loses any appeal. I though I was insane, took over 2 years to find out what DPD was, I thought I was alone in it. It's hard to explain to someone that you live life from an emotionless 3rd person point of view and have a broken sense of ego. "I" starts to lose any meaning. If you read up on the different personal accounts of depersonalization disorder, you'll see what I mean.

Impossible for me to understand losing touch with WHO and even WHAT I am. Does it feel like you're an alien living in a human body? Like bodily functions (pissing, shitting, eating, sex) feel like they are happening to someone, nay, someTHING else? That could be a valuable perspective for some purposes. Like if we were going to communicate with an alien race of intelligent beings, we might want to consult some folks with DPD first.

Your name sounds like a strange meaningless word, I bet too. My name is strange enough already. I can only imagine that.

My ego and selse of self is so firmly entrenched in my psyche that it would be impossible for me to experience that. Being rooted firmly in ones' body can be a blessing or a curse. But at the same time, while I feel so deeply connected with my physical being, I also feel firmly connected with all the negative perceptions I have of myself.
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"The future ain't what it used to be."
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"Drugs are so fucking good....that they'll ruin your life."
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Offline theSWPK

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Re: cancelled order from RC supplier
« Reply #21 on: June 09, 2016, 02:19:55 PM »
For me when I'm going through an episode of dpd, I feel completely dissociated from my sense of self. You're correct about how my name seems to lose its attachment. It feels as if your standing in a room in the very back of your head. Standing there watching your own life as an uninvolved spectator. Often it will feel like I have little control of my actions. During these episodes, derealization can kick in from specific triggers. Speaking in front of a crowd from a podium is the heaviest trigger. I start to feel that if I suddenly stop speaking will the crowd even notice? I begin to question these people's existence, as if I am the only actual person and the rest are fake.
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Offline Zoops (OP)

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Re: cancelled order from RC supplier
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2016, 08:22:55 PM »
When I was in my first inpatient treatment, waaaaaay back befo' summa yall wuz even BONE... in 1998, I took the MMPI, which is a battery of about 500 true or false questions, some of them seem very strange, but you're supposed to answer them all and you get a very good summary of what type of personality you have.

I can't remember exactly what my "letters" were, but there was a "J" in there and what was interesting to me was that I came out a hair on the extrovert side in the introvert/extrovert scale. Just a hair. The psychologist also said I could have some traits of a shizoaffective personality, and also am prone to "magical thinking." I think synchronicity delusions fall into that category. I always seem to note weird co-incidences (or are they?) in my day-to-day life.

So I can relate somewhat.
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"The future ain't what it used to be."
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"Drugs are so fucking good....that they'll ruin your life."
- Louis C.K.

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