Some advice on how to use my current MMT dose, for CP

[Snoop (OP)]

Hi Everybody! Its Snoop... Come back from his sebaticle. Thought I'd pop in for some guidance and/or advice...

So, as it stands. Ive been on MMT for damn near 10yrs now... I took a 7 month break from it all; kicked cold turkey in Jail on a weak ass Probation/Parole Violation (Thats right, was on both Probation and Parole at the same damn time, over 2 seperate cases.)

What COULD HAVE been the end of all this maddness, as I suffered out a 120mg daily MD dose & 3-4mg daily Xan/Kpin kick, was traded in the EXACT Goddamned night I arrived @ home.... In retrospect, I should have laid down some kinda "Ground rules" before my arrival home.

But, being involved in a marriage, that we both use the same damn meds (ie Methadone/Benzos) it was near impossible for me to resist the urge, right through the door home, to ask for a taste. That got me revved right back up; and it was back to the races.

I mean, I'm stable... I use my MD responsibly, got my shrink to switch me to Valium instead of Xanax, so I could taper that habit down... So far so good on that end. Ive come to see Valium as the MD of the Benzo World. With its long half life, and decent ability to quell the storm inside, I crave benzos less and less, and I can take drops in dosage and even days off from it with negligible consequences. In grateful for that... As I used to be longsuffering with a Xanax script that wouldn't or simply couldn't be managed.

Now, its the Methadone... Been on 100mg for the duration since I was released all those years ago. Which would be fine... But it has been 10 years since my auto accident; the accident that rebooted a long since gone H habit (was clean off opioids for a few, maybe 3-4 yrs.... Chippin on rare occasions)

I had to have a few surgeries before I got away from the Oxy/Hydrocodone, OxyContin Scripts (When OxyContin was in its Hayday) Since I got on Methadone, it has been SUPER hard to control my pain with BS OTC meds, and I think that the Ibuprofen/Aleve have left me with some nasty gastrointestinal issues.

So I quit using those, my guts ache whenever I use them. And I suspect an Ulcer is the culprit.

Anyway... Back to the start.

Does anyone have any advice or experience with controlling pain successfully with their Takehomes???

Something like 1/4 of my daily dose, 4 times daily? I guess I could just jump in and try. But I'm seeking some first-hand experience with this. Would 25mg every 6 hours be beneficial, or would splitting it in half am/pm be best....?

Ive thought about tapering off completely.... Making a GO at it. But, ultimately... I see myself using full blown again if I do.

All it would come down to, is ONE bad decision. One Perfect Storm; frought with Pain, Anxiety and a choice right in front of my face.

Honestly, in the end. I wish there were OPTIONS for CPP patients, whom also happen to be in ORT other than NSAIDS... But the way things are now. With the Nationwide Opioid Crisis, I dont see any other options on the horizon. Not anytime real soon.

Any advice or input would be appreciated.

Thx all.... -Snoop