dopetalk does not endorse any advertised product nor does it accept any liability for it's use or misuse

This website has run out of funding so feel free to contribute if you can afford it (see footer)

Author Topic: Quick story/question  (Read 23229 times)

Offline wanderingmind (OP)

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Join Date: Oct 2015
  • Location: Minnesnowta
  • Posts: 189
  • Reputation Power: 5
  • wanderingmind is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:September 29, 2019, 10:34:59 PM
  • Our Community Board
Quick story/question
« on: May 31, 2017, 11:00:05 AM »
A friend has been hooking me up with anywhere from 10-20 2mg lorazepams for a couple months.  The last few times she's wanted me to pay her some cash for them (I'm still getting them really cheap).

Anyways, for a few months they worked very well.  In other words, the did what they did.  12-16 mg's would get me feeling really good.  Any more than that would be black out central which usually happened due to my compulsion to take more and more of any type of benzo.

Last week she got her new script.  I got 13 of them.  After ingesting 20 mg's and waiting an hour or two, I could feel some bit of relief, though mostly placebo.  I took the rest and bringing to total to nearly 30 mg's.  Nothing much to report.  I'd say it scored a 2 out of 10 on a scale (1 being baseline and 10 being black-ed out fucked).

Today, I got 15 from her and took all 15, so 30 mg's.  About 45 minutes in, some relaxation a bit of sedation, but that quickly went away. 

My benzo tolerance is inherently high (i.e., I need to take more than the average person to feel the same effects).  I have not been taking many benzo's lately.  Just her lorazepams maybe once or twice a month and it's been a GOOD month since I've taken any.

My question is this: is it possible the pharmacy had an old bottle and the lorazepam had degraded?  I recommended she contact her doctor and say that the Attivan had been working, but this script just seems off.

What do you all think?
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Snoop

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Jul 2015
  • Location:
  • Posts: 189
  • Reputation Power: 14
  • Snoop is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:February 02, 2020, 11:11:54 PM
  • Welcome to our community forum ...
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2017, 12:11:08 PM »
Lorazepam is IMO kinda low on the Benzo efficiency scale. This varies from person to person. Given IV it's great. Has a good half life on it. Half a day if I remember right (12hrs).

Do you drink often..... I've never really mentioned this here. But I scarcely EVER drink alcohol. But when I do, I find that alcohol has reduced effect on me. As if there is a cross tolerance between Alcohol and Benzo. I'm sure there must be. But I'm Benzo dependent.

Once dependent, your all in.... and you're basically keeping 'that feeling' away, and trying to stay ahead of it.

My advice. Lower your doses. You're poppin em like jujubees. And you wonder why they ain't working no more?

friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline bignasty

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Apr 2016
  • Location:
  • Posts: 461
  • Reputation Power: 9
  • bignasty is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:September 09, 2022, 08:54:00 AM
  • Reduce Harm, Connect and Educate !
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2017, 03:46:01 AM »
I agree with Snoop. You're eating too many and too often to expect them to keep working good. Take a little break from them and they should work.....unless you're a big drinker.

I used to drink at least a 5th of whiskey a day and the FIRST benzo I ever took was 20mg's of valium and it didn't do much at all. I think it was because of my massive alcohol tolerance at the time because I was completely benzo naïve but 2 blue valiums didn't do shit for my anxiety.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline OpiXPO

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Location:
  • Posts: 181
  • Reputation Power: 0
  • OpiXPO has hidden their reputation power
  • Gender: Male
  • Last Login:January 23, 2024, 06:44:24 AM
  • Welcome to our community forum ...
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2017, 04:26:36 AM »
Did the generics change? There are some seriously shitty generics that don't do crap.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Opus

  • Tech
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Aug 2015
  • Location: long windy bumpy ass road
  • Posts: 542
  • Reputation Power: 31
  • Opus is working their way up.Opus is working their way up.Opus is working their way up.
  • Last Login:May 06, 2018, 01:21:20 AM
  • 110, 100, 90, 80, 76, 70, 64, 60, 58
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2017, 10:53:57 AM »
Erm, your doses are *huge* -- I suspect it's a diminishing return kinda deal, ativan/lorazepam is usually dosed like a mg or two, not 10-20. Personally when I've had huge benzo habits, I didn't feel much from huge doses either, not to say I wasn't getting loaded tho -- I just didn't really notice it. They tell me it's called a tolerance.
« Last Edit: June 01, 2017, 12:01:06 PM by Opus »
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No artist tolerates reality -- Freidrich Neitzsche

The word "republican" comes in the dictionary right after "reptile" and just before "repugnant." -- Julia Roberts

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society -- Krishnamurti

Offline Snoop

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Jul 2015
  • Location:
  • Posts: 189
  • Reputation Power: 14
  • Snoop is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:February 02, 2020, 11:11:54 PM
  • Welcome to our community forum ...
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2017, 11:22:37 PM »
Whenever I'm absolutely loaded on benzodiazepines, I'll swear by Christ that I'm perfectly fine, and my behavior is completely in line....

When often in retrospect, I was all over the Goddamned place.

It's as if I'm in a crystal clear head, cool and calm as can be, but my outward behavior is that of the Village Drunk/Idiot (take your pick).

I'd like to believe that it's dope doing me in.... but in fact, it's the shit I get from a doctor on a slip. She just keeps on signing off for me. I can't foresee a life without the fucking bastards.

Not without a butt load of solitude and time. Neither of which I possess.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Dog Food

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Join Date: Sep 2015
  • Location: Ohio
  • Posts: 166
  • Reputation Power: 3
  • Dog Food is new on the scene.
  • Gender: Male
  • Last Login:December 30, 2021, 02:49:57 AM
  • Our Community
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2017, 05:39:30 AM »
People usually don't realize that benzos are basically just alcohol in a pill, that they affect your body just about the exact same way that alcohol affects you. That's why they give valium to alcoholics and benzo addicts in detox to taper off a lil bit.

Them doses are huge tho. You're not in withdrawals when u don't have any? Says twice as strong as alprazolam, which even 1mg used to fuck me up with no tolly. 2mg is blackout for sure.

But just like everything else, we use too much and it stops working almost completely.  Like dope doesn't do shit really but make me well and feel normal anymore. I quit for a week+ and half a point od's me
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Thoms

  • "Is a sex God"
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Jul 2015
  • Location:
  • Posts: 765
  • Reputation Power: 24
  • Thoms is now quite familiar.Thoms is now quite familiar.
  • Last Login:May 27, 2018, 01:32:26 AM
  • Welcome to our community forum ...
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2017, 05:48:32 AM »
Ativan is half the strength of xanax/kpin. Not double.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Fear and self loathing in thoms.

Offline Snoop

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Jul 2015
  • Location:
  • Posts: 189
  • Reputation Power: 14
  • Snoop is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:February 02, 2020, 11:11:54 PM
  • Welcome to our community forum ...
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2017, 06:52:38 AM »
..... Not even close to 2x's

Not. Even. Close.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline Raine

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Jun 2015
  • Location: NOLA
  • Posts: 130
  • Reputation Power: 4
  • Raine is new on the scene.
  • Gender: Female
  • Last Login:May 04, 2022, 04:07:02 AM
  • Do no harm but take no shit
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2017, 03:10:14 AM »
Whenever I'm absolutely loaded on benzodiazepines, I'll swear by Christ that I'm perfectly fine, and my behavior is completely in line....

When often in retrospect, I was all over the Goddamned place.

It's as if I'm in a crystal clear head, cool and calm as can be, but my outward behavior is that of the Village Drunk/Idiot (take your pick).


Yeah I'm exactly the same. I wouldn't have known I was acting that wasted unless other people told me...repeatedly and emphatically. Heh.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline wanderingmind (OP)

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Join Date: Oct 2015
  • Location: Minnesnowta
  • Posts: 189
  • Reputation Power: 5
  • wanderingmind is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:September 29, 2019, 10:34:59 PM
  • Our Community Board
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2017, 01:38:45 AM »
Whenever I'm absolutely loaded on benzodiazepines, I'll swear by Christ that I'm perfectly fine, and my behavior is completely in line....

When often in retrospect, I was all over the Goddamned place.


I think your description fits 100%!!!

I thought I hadn't visited this forum in a good while and came on here to post a question about benzo's.  Low and behold, I'd apparently posted on here less than two weeks ago.  From what I can infer, even though I said that the 30 mg's only scored a "2 out of 10"...I was blacked the fuck out :(  This doesn't surprise me in the least.  Here's why.

In 2009, I got on methadone.  Before then, I'd never tried benzo's.  At the clinic, it seemed like everyone was abusing benzo's and had a LOT of good things to say about the combo (benzo + methadone = pure bliss).  I tried them and fell in love.  There was a good year period where I would take my daily 150 mg's of methadone and then pop 14 mg's of xanax.  I'd be nodded out all day, then pop more xanax in the late afternoon.  It got so bad I ended up having a seizure when I tried to taper off/quit the benzo's.  After that period, I quit the benzo's for a couple years and then started fucking around with them.  And did that for another year or so.

I must have done something permanent to my brain chemistry during this phase as I found it's nearly impossible for me to get good and fucked up on benzo's without blacking out.  For example, it takes me about 6 mg's of xanax (when "benzo naive") to feel really good.  However, that's also right around the same dosage where I could black out or I might stay lucid - it's a total flip of the coin.  This RARELY ever happens as I turn into a complete fucking fiend once my body gets benzo's in it.  I'll swear that it'll only be 6 mg's and I will end up coming to a few days later to find I'd taken a ridiculous amount.  Back when I was on MMT, I was prescribed 90 2 mg xanax each month.  Many times I'd tell myself, "you're only going to take 3 today."  I'd come to 3 days later to find I'd ingested the entire bottle in 24 hours!  I once found a video I'd taken of myself where I say something along the lines of, "I've just taken 80 mg's of alprazolam and I am somewhat coherent." 

I came on here today to ask a question.  For the last 4 months or so, I've been using a "high dose" of benzo's once or twice at the most a month.  Never more than twice.  A few days after taking the high dose, I notice that I've got mild-moderate benzo withdrawal symptoms that really mimic opioid w/d more than straight benzo w/d.  I've personally never heard of taking something one time and then experiencing withdrawal for three days or so.

Does anybody have any experience with this?

P.S. - I've never been much of a drinker.  I think the last time I got drunk was almost ten years ago.  I'm just not a fan, at all.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2017, 01:47:36 AM by wanderingmind »
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Z

  • Guest
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2017, 01:55:39 AM »
I've heard stories like but had never had  happen first hand.  I think that reality that as addicts brain chemistry is messed  up.  You're brain makes connections and"shortcuts"four common memories, for frequent actions and responses.I'm not brain surgeon whatever, but I could an addicts brain having reward pathways quoted in from frequent use.  If all that's missing is drugs to fill it, then missing some after one use might be the same as a longer term addiction.


I've heard the line that when it comes to many aspects of addiction and the interactions it has with our bodies and brains,"all I know is that I don't know nothing."


It seems like there I isn't that much funding and what there is sounds like it goes towards validating meds to treat addiction and make loads of money. 
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline wanderingmind (OP)

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Join Date: Oct 2015
  • Location: Minnesnowta
  • Posts: 189
  • Reputation Power: 5
  • wanderingmind is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:September 29, 2019, 10:34:59 PM
  • Our Community Board
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2017, 02:30:36 AM »

It seems like there I isn't that much funding and what there is sounds like it goes towards validating meds to treat addiction and make loads of money.

It's crazy!!!  I think it's gotten a bit better now, but for the longest time, doctors in medical school only received ONE HOUR of "training" on addiction!  Just blows my mind  :(

With opioids becoming an epidemic and wealthy white people are being affected, society/government is starting to take a look now.  I'm sure that now that Jared Kushner and Christie are top advisers on the Opioid Commission Board, things will get better  ::)  Ha, yeah right.
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline MoeMentim

  • Global Moderator
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • SA_Chat+
  • **
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Location:
  • Posts: 665
  • Reputation Power: 20
  • MoeMentim is now quite familiar.MoeMentim is now quite familiar.
  • Last Login:May 25, 2023, 09:16:26 AM
  • Our Harm Reduction & Safe Using forum
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2017, 07:47:03 AM »
"all I know is that I don't know nothing."



 :)
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Offline wanderingmind (OP)

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Join Date: Oct 2015
  • Location: Minnesnowta
  • Posts: 189
  • Reputation Power: 5
  • wanderingmind is new on the scene.
  • Last Login:September 29, 2019, 10:34:59 PM
  • Our Community Board
Re: Quick story/question
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2017, 07:52:10 AM »
Op Ivy!!!  Bringing me back to middle school  8)
friendly
0
funny
0
informative
0
agree
0
disagree
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
8 Replies
1789 Views
Last post September 29, 2019, 05:52:17 AM
by Chip
0 Replies
7505 Views
Last post July 23, 2015, 01:23:25 PM
by dazzler
16 Replies
102 Views
Last post September 02, 2015, 01:14:17 PM
by Narkotikon
32 Replies
24553 Views
Last post December 20, 2015, 01:03:54 AM
by Daughter of Dionysus
6 Replies
1165 Views
Last post January 16, 2016, 03:38:56 PM
by Z
2 Replies
6076 Views
Last post June 12, 2016, 10:04:17 AM
by puppy
12 Replies
9771 Views
Last post August 08, 2016, 02:22:29 PM
by chemicalchart
3 Replies
8024 Views
Last post September 08, 2016, 09:35:07 AM
by Chip
13 Replies
10982 Views
Last post November 02, 2016, 01:50:19 AM
by 6-mam
0 Replies
4733 Views
Last post September 04, 2019, 12:06:42 AM
by Chip


dopetalk does not endorse any advertised product nor does it accept any liability for it's use or misuse





TERMS AND CONDITIONS

In no event will d&u or any person involved in creating, producing, or distributing site information be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, special or consequential damages arising out of the use of or inability to use d&u. You agree to indemnify and hold harmless d&u, its domain founders, sponsors, maintainers, server administrators, volunteers and contributors from and against all liability, claims, damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from the use of any part of the d&u site.


TO USE THIS WEBSITE YOU MUST AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS ABOVE


Founded December 2014
SimplePortal 2.3.6 © 2008-2014, SimplePortal