Author Topic: anibuse / antabuse  (Read 3104 times)

Offline MoeMentim (OP)

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Re: anibuse / antabuse
« Reply #29 from previous page: October 05, 2018, 07:47:14 AM »
i've never met a gay man i didn't like & i've met lots, the dive bar i more or less lived at in las vegas was smack dab in the middle of the gay district.  they are kind people who live in a world that is very unkind to them.

lesbians i'm less sure of.  i don't think the "man hater" stereotype is completely without merit.  i was an apartment manager & had this lesbian couple as tenants, they'd have the worst knock down drag out fights, black eye type shit, cops there all the time.  whenever i knocked on their door because they were late on rent they'd just fucking verbally attack me.  goddamn i hate even thinking about those cunts.  know why there's gay bars but no lesbian bars?  they all get kicked out & the bar goes belly up.  is that bad of me?  i am willing to believe the tenants were an anomaly but they sure did set a bad example

Offline Chip

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Re: anibuse / antabuse
« Reply #30 on: October 05, 2018, 08:02:30 AM »
i know 2 sweet lesbians DJs; one who would come out of the DJ booth during her set just to give me a hug and a kiss. Another one plays Tribal/dirty Tech house and is fucking awesome on so many levels.

Another one that i didn't know (a patron) was a nasty aggressive cunt who shoulder charged me and then took off my glasses and fucked them and threw them on the floor ! i am virtually legally blind and this was in a dark club. she did this twice !!! CUNT BITCH FATHERFUCKER !

i was devastated and exceptionally upset. i could've got Security to throw her out but I didn't want to stoop to her level.

went to a lesbian night at the club and they wouldn't dance (the str8 girls at my club are usually hot and love to dance). they were all bitching in the Gaming Lounge.

i even got asked for a threesome 333 !

Got the fuck out of there as fast as i could.

Lesbians ? Genetally I don't want to know them and keep far away. Of course there are some nice ones but i only have ever met a few.

all groovy DJs. DJs tend to be beautiful people.

It's not just you Moe.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2018, 09:13:07 AM by Chip »
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Offline MoeMentim (OP)

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Re: anibuse / antabuse
« Reply #31 on: October 05, 2018, 08:34:53 AM »
ok, glad it ain't just me.  benzos:
i love my psychiatrist, more than any medical professional i've had & i value his opinion.  i will bring up the topic of benzos in a month.  also on the discussion agenda is ketamine infusions which i can't afford but he now offers, or possibly me taking matters into my own hands & growing shrooms to try the micro-dosing thing.  i expect he'll be more receptive to the latter two than benzos.  last time we met he told me it makes his day to see that i'm on his schedule.  we spent an entire visit talking philosophy once.  i pointed to a book on his shelf, "existentialist psychotherapy" or something like that & asked what he thinks of kierkegaard.  he's (doc) an athiest but appreciates.  i like K because he values his own inward religious experience over what he knows is a more rational objective viewpoint.  He said he likes Kierkegaard but in his practice needs to stay objective.  i said "if you heard the voice of god that objective shit would go right out the window"
« Last Edit: October 05, 2018, 08:50:08 AM by MoeMentim »

Online bignasty

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Re: anibuse / antabuse
« Reply #32 on: October 05, 2018, 10:27:08 PM »
I have no problems with gays and if you met me you'd think I did since I'm a southern, slow talking, accent having, boot wearing, country (and rap) listening to, pussy loving redneck that's pretty conservative on certain issues. I don't necessarily have any gay "friends" but I have gay acquaintances that I hang out with from time to time. Once, I had one of my gay acquaintances at my house and invited over a guy that had graduated HS with him (both older than me) and he said "you know he's gay, right?". I said "yeah but I'm cool with him as long as he doesn't try to fuck me". My friend knew I was right and ended up coming over, giving him a big hug and talking to him for hours about HS and what each one had been up to since then. He's got a lot of medical conditions so he ended up just passing out 30mg adds and 2mg Xanax even though we didn't ask him for any and were willing to pay him for them but he wouldn't take it.

The gays that have the most emotionally, mental issues in my opinion are the ones that are disowned by family. It seems like most of them can handle society thinking of them a certain way but it really tears them up when their family that's supposed to love them no matter what kinda turns their back on them and doesn't want to have anything to do with them ONE DAY (after they come out) after being completely normal and nice to them.

However, being a junky often involves being deceptive, cruel and exploitative to much of our loved ones including family and friends so I thought it was unfair to say that about gay doctors when we do that to the ones that love us the most in a lot of circumstances. Leading on a gay doctor to get prescribed more and better drugs would be one of the least dirty, immoral things some of the people on here have done to get high or stay well. I'm a pretty moral junky and haven't stolen from family and shit to get high but I understand (to a certain extent) when people do do (I said doodoo, LOL) those things to get high. When I run outta money and can't hustle up any money, I just get ready for the sickness and start asking people if they can front. If nobody fronts, I'm just sick and can always at least get a sub or a piece of one so I'm not totally CT sick.

If I ever went completely CT sick, I might do some immoral shit to get something but I usually get fronted or given a sub strip 'cause of the way that I treat people when they're sick and in a bad spot. I've found that if you take care of people, they'll usually take care of you in similar circumstances. However, I do know folks that get a shitload of meds RX'd each month and have a bunch of hookups that are greedy with both even after I always help them out but I tend to cut those folks off and stop fucking with them completely.

One of my ex "friends" would always ask me if I could get 'dones when he'd run out and I'd always either get them for him at cost or maybe charge $1 each extra if I got a decent deal on them OR I'd just give him my hookup's number if I wasn't making anything off the deal. Then, when he gets his 330 'dones and 90 roxies every month, he's stingy as fuck and won't let go of any 'dones and will only sell the shitty huge roxies that you can't shoot for $15 each. And I've told him all the pharmacies that carry the small IV'able roxies but I guess he just likes being an asshole 'cause he always gets the big ones that nobody likes, even the snorters and folks that take 'em orally.

All the hookups that I've given ^^ him charge him $10 for 10mg 'dones now 'cause they'll be like "Yo, what's wrong with your man? That motherfucker wants everybody to help him out but then he's stingy as fuck when he gets his meds every month". Then, that kinda fucks me 'cause he'll still buy them out or buy at least half their script and I'll have to go without when they sell out of their script quicker than normal. And I think they're lying to me sometime so they can get $10 each for their pills instead of $7 each which is shitty of both of them 'cause I get fucked for helping both of them out when I should get hooked up for helping both of them out. The cost of being nice I guess. Nice guys finish last as they say.

Offline MoeMentim (OP)

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Re: anibuse / antabuse
« Reply #33 on: October 07, 2018, 11:13:15 PM »
it's sunday, i drank all day friday & saturday (i work 4 10s so 3 day weekends.)  trying to decide if im going to today or not.  i don't feel too bad (some anxiety)  just bored & shitty weather out.  took all my morning meds but staring at the antibuse.  gotta run some errands this morning so i got a while to decide i guess.  on sundays i usually feel like i'd go to an aa meeting but there's none around until nighttime.

edit: decided on drinking.  big surprise there... 
« Last Edit: October 08, 2018, 12:32:56 AM by MoeMentim »

Offline Chip

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Re: anibuse / antabuse
« Reply #34 on: October 08, 2018, 12:42:31 PM »
speaking of drinking, last night was my first day off in a long time ... not by choice; my closest was shut and I've only got $12 in the bank and $35 in my wallet and no pay until Thursday.

going to see how i feel without alcohol.
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Re: anibuse / antabuse
« Reply #35 on: October 12, 2018, 06:21:58 AM »
I hate to see this- people who get off opiates to get to drinking too much. Mostly I hate it cause I've been that person in some parts of life, and I don't like drinking. I always end up doing out of desperation and having nothing else. And I feel like shit while drinking and afterwards.

I highly recommend substituting any other addiction if you need something. Kratom is great, at least for me for now. I've been on it as a home made mantinence option and have only been using h occasionally. And let me tell you it is so worth it. When I use I actually get high now, so it's motivation to not go back to using full time so I can enjoy it when I do.

Is there any free or cheap counciling in your area? I'd look into that cause of the anxiety you're talking about. You're in Canada right? So enjoy your access to medical care that you are very fortunate to have.

I tell you, if I had access to medical care I would probably be going about things a different way. You've been able to go a day here and there without drinking, no withdrawals right? So my (clearly junkie) advice is to substitute kratom or something else easy to get on the clearnet such as etizolam, baclofen, gabapentin, phenibut, etc. A rotation of those would be best.

It's good to hear how you're doing, and see some familiar names around here. Keep us posted and don't give up!

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