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Offline dizzle (OP)

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Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« on: March 15, 2016, 12:34:56 PM »
I got this idea from the ambien thread. Nick posting about the dude on opiophile about the dude trhat shot himself in the foot while on ambien gave me the idea....



So, the one that came to mind was the dude that robbed the gas station and then immediately came on opiophile and made a thread "I just robbed a gas station, what should I do?", lol. I think he went to jail....


Then there's a story I heard in rehab.  dude that ODed in his crib and had two pitbulls. By the time anyone found him, the pits had run out of food and started eating the dude.



also, wasn't there a nutty dude that used to rob washing machines for quarters? In the same building, over and over? Maybe that story will come out...

Offline DreamerOnTheRun

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2016, 02:00:14 PM »
Just so happens to be an ambien story as well.  But one of my band friends showed up at my crib tripping balls on God knows how much ambien. Sits down in my room and starts talking to my oscillating fan as if it were his girlfriend.  Okay, that's pretty funny but what floored me was when I came back from taking a leak, he.. And my fan, were gone.  No, he didn't try to fuck the fan BUT, as I run outside (hoping to snatch him as not to drive) he's already ON HIS SCOOTER with MY FAN TIED TO HIS BACK and on his merry way. HAHA, in retrospect I'm just glad he made it home okay.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2016, 02:01:56 PM by DreamerOnTheRun »
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Offline Illadelph215

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2016, 02:15:05 PM »
I've been out of "the H game" for a tad bit but I figured I'd share my story of when I last saw one of my best friends before he went to rehab. I was working night shift and he called me at 1am saying he was stuck in Kenso because he ran out of gas and needed help. I couldn't leave work but promised to help him when I got done at 7am. It took me about 20min to get there and he was WDing hard when I found him, luckily he was able to get off the road a bit before his car died of gas exhaustion. He was in such a hurry to fix up that he drove to the city (which he lived 45min away) without his wallet/money and a low tank. Poor kid had to stay in his car all night in the middle of winter in the hood. I ended up filling his tank and buying him a bundle and left, somehow resisted the urge to get any myself and he ended up going to rehab (thank god) as he obviously needed it. Isn't anything to crazy but to this day I still can't believe he put himself in that situation.
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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2016, 02:55:56 PM »
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also, wasn't there a nutty dude that used to rob washing machines for quarters? In the same building, over and over? Maybe that story will come out...

p sure that was You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login

and that gas station shit was hilarious


my dealer was shot three times, once in the face
over an 8mg dilaudid (the person was supposedly on "bath salts" circa 2010)

as for something I was present for
about two years ago someone tried to set him up
(friend of the would-be stick up boy phoned ahead)
so I pull into the church parking lot, waaaay out in the country,
a good 2-3 miles from any other roads/buildings/people
when i got there the other people were already waiting

he calls me up and tells me to park at the absolute far end,
and that he would serve me after taking care of the other people
(he failed to inform me there was going to be an attempted robbery :/ )

he pulls in to the spot next to them, and rolls down his window
he was busted by a CI a few months back and was having people reach into the carlike he'd have it in the little handle for the inside of the door
kid was just going to deck my dealer in the face (he is a fragile man, lotsa health issues)
and grab whatever he could i assume, as he had no weapon

he gets out the driver side, approaches the dealers car,
and as soon as he was within reach, my dealer grabs him by the collar
takes his .40 and fires three rounds past the side of the kids head/next to his ear
(gunshots are far from unusual in this area, very rural and people shoot on their property)
he then sticks the barrel right in the kids throat and had some exchange of words
kid gets back in his car, and is by the grace of god allowed to leave with his life

i was totally fucking stunned because i thought i had just witnessed a murder
i already had car in reverse and was whipping it around to GTFO
when he yells out to me "WHERE YA GOING!? DONT YOU STILL NEED?"
I had about 5 seconds to figure out what to do
so I parked my car, got out, went over to him, and got my shit,
reaching in the same way the kid had
i can still smell the gunpowder inside the car, and the piece was still on his lap

of course I had to ask WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK
so he explained he knew the kid was coming to rob him and wanted to make it known
he was not shy about pulling the trigger on someone trying to get over on him
naturally at that point i was even more freaked out
and asked why the hell would you have me come here if you knew that?
he wanted me to get the message to, and to let the tweaker kids to know

what was so crazy to me was how calm and collected he was,
like he knew EXACTLY how the entire thing would play out

there were a few other times, when i was a little git in highschool
where deals went very very very wrong
i had seen people get shot at, their cars shot at
but seeing him fire 3 shots with the gun practically touching his ear/temple
then stick it in the kids throat
that was a little to real for me
As I grew up, I opened my eyes and saw the real world, and I began to laugh, and I haven't stopped since

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2016, 05:02:14 PM »
Waiting in a car to get served and the guy he served first was a cop and right after he did the deal with him a ton of cops pulled up out of no where and arrested him before he had a chance to come to our car. I about shit a brick I was glad he didn't make it to us, and it was my friends friends dealer so I didn't know the guy or his dealer, so I wasn't worried about it coming back to me at all since we hadn't scored and I didn't know the people but damn I thought for sure they were coming for us until we casually pulled out like 4 normal dope fiends.

Offline Zoops

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2016, 05:27:09 PM »
No, 'twasn't I who stole quarters out of the washing machines. Might have been someone else who has posted in this thread though. I dunno. Not quite sure about that ;)

The first time I ever scored some crack in DC, Summer 1992 (probably before some o' y'all was even BONE) I was down at the spot with an old Greek dude who was a waiter at the Ft. Meyers Officer's Club restaurant who was a co-worker of mine.

Well, about a block down the street from where we were doin the deal, there was police yellow tape and a cop car and also what looked like a couple cops milling around.

I pointed out this fact to the old lady who was selling the rocks out of a plastic grocery bag, with a little toddler in tow. I was like, "hey be cool - it's some cops down there."

She nonchalantly said, "Doan' worry bout him, he homicide, he doan care nuttin' bout this shit."

I was like "damn, allrighty then."

Man the rocks back then was so damn bee-ig. Got like 1.5g for $50.
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Offline nick

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2016, 06:46:28 PM »
The guy with the gas station robbery was green fox-quite possible the weirdest motherfucker to ever grace opiophile and quite possibly the planet-and he's had some steep competition over the years.

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2016, 10:22:03 PM »
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Just so happens to be an ambien story as well.  But one of my band friends showed up at my crib tripping balls on God knows how much ambien. Sits down in my room and starts talking to my oscillating fan as if it were his girlfriend.  Okay, that's pretty funny but what floored me was when I came back from taking a leak, he.. And my fan, were gone.  No, he didn't try to fuck the fan BUT, as I run outside (hoping to snatch him as not to drive) he's already ON HIS SCOOTER with MY FAN TIED TO HIS BACK and on his merry way. HAHA, in retrospect I'm just glad he made it home okay.


That fan gave the best blow jobs...
I myself have found a real rival in myself,
I am hoping for a re-arrival of my health- wilco

Offline Snoop

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2016, 10:48:41 PM »
I've had a few crazy things happen along the way....

But a few that stand out are.....

The time I was so E bombed that I gave a perfect stranger $100 outside the club and waited about an hour and a half before it had dawned on me that I was robbed friendly style.

The time I was so E bombed that I dropped a tab in the men's room, it rolled into the pisser and I squatted on down and fished it out with zero hesitation in front of a live studio audience.

Once I had a friend who went ahead and made himself hidden by submerging himself in a full jacuzzi and pulled the hood over the top so he could smoke crack with zero interruptions.... Fully clothed.

I've probably shot up who knows what a few times cuz it was *black*a bit gooey*and I'm kicking*anditsinthecarpetwhereIuse*

So so many..... It's hard to remember a lot of em.

Offline chipper

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2016, 11:26:26 PM »
i can only think of another Ambien story: someone i was told about walked off a first floor balcony and broke his leg.
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Offline Roman Totale

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #10 on: March 15, 2016, 11:32:34 PM »
(Second-floor for the Estadunidenses and possibly Canadians reading, I think..?)

Offline Thoms

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2016, 01:13:50 AM »
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That fan gave the best blow jobs...


That was the best fucking fan I ever had!
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Offline Guts

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #12 on: March 16, 2016, 01:41:52 AM »
This story goes back to the world of 18 year old Guts...

Me and a friend wanted to get high... but we had no money. What better thing to do than rob a drug dealer?

I had the car; a 1998 MBA E320 that I worked many long months at home depot for. My friend had the gun; a circa WW2 smith and wesson 45 that belonged to his grandpappy. I think I used those semi colons correctly. My entire colon was about to malfunction.

So we pull up on dude. We're at a gas station. I'm driving and my friend is in the back seat. We tell dude to get in the front. Any good drug dealer would not have done that but he did.

He shows us the product. It's an oz of weed... regular weed and a handful of bars. I don't recall how many but less than 20.

My friend insists that last time he bought bars from him, they were short. Guy says "fuck no, you're tripping" but eventually agrees to let him count them.

Now, keep in mind, we're at a Valero at about 2 pm with cars everywhere. The dealer was a suburban white kid that couldn't have weighed more than a buck 30.

As soon as he has the bars in his hands, my boy pulls out the gun and all you hear is a click clack. The dealer jumps back instinctively but my guy swiftly grabs dudes collar and tells him to give him the weed. He complys and starts to get out. I tell him "close the door on your way out, bitch".

So, at this point, we feel like some smooth criminals. We got the goods and we're outta here. I'm in no hurry... what's he gonna do?

All of a sudden we hear the loudest BANG BANG... the little 120 lb suburban kid is shooting at us in the middle of a crowded gas station in broad daylight light. My friends first instinct was to duck... mine was to yell "my car!".

I swerved in front of a black SUV and did some GTA style driving to get the fuck out of there... my baby took a hit on the passenger side mirror and right above the gas tank. Good thing I never had more than a quarter tank. We found one of the bullets in the back seat and it looked like a 22.

Was not worth it lol... school started within the next day or two and I tried to forget all about it.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2016, 01:43:36 AM by Guts »

Offline BTHvsECP

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #13 on: March 16, 2016, 02:41:35 AM »
I met this junkie in Key West after the millennium...he was what we used to call a gutter punk.  Don't see too many of them anymore...Anyway, yeah, he would hit car washes with $5 and $10 dollar bills that were taped at his end and just rage change all day and all night out of the machine by pulling the bill back once it was read by the machine.  I loved the idea, but never did it myself...I was only just becoming an addict at the time.

Offline BTHvsECP

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Re: Craziest Shit you've heard in the game
« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2016, 03:07:38 AM »
So in Fall 2000, in Chicago with my crew...my brother had my dad's car and I borrowed it after the Phish show cuz my boy wun't down with going into the ghetto. Weirdo always preferred methadone...So me and my other boy meet these three addicts on lot before the show and one of them...who I had randomly met at the Chicago Greyhound station in 1997, and had a really good time talking with said he knew where to score easy peasy.  After the show, he is so drunk that we are hesitant to take him, but the sickness is coming on.  We end up driving around the massive ghettos of Chicago for 2 hours, finally finding two black dealers in their  early 20s.  They ask how much we want.  There's 5 of us in the car, so dude says 44.  Boys is like "what?!!"  He calmly says "I have $440 and I want 44 blows."  So they ask him to get out of the car/backseat driver's side and sit on the opposite side of the curb from them and get the money out.  He does and as they approach each other in the middle of the street they grab for him.  I don't know how they missed the cash, but he didn't lose a dollar!  He struggled like a mother fucker to get back in the car kicking at one of them while the other opened up the passenger door where my boy was sitting and pulled his shirt up revealing his .45.  Dude in the back finally got fully in the car and screamed "Go!!!!", and I floored it on a city street through at least 3 stop signs.  It took another 2 hours to actually find anything...then dumbfuck fell asleep in a Shell Gas Station bathroom after taking his shot...then the house he was supposed to stay at didn't want him there.  We almost couldn't get rid of the kid!  Minneapolis was the next day, and somehow we made it.  It was def about sunrise as we were leaving Chicago, maybe not high (cuz goddamn did the dope suck!), but well at least!

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