A tweaker cut my daughters throat...

[Lolleedee]

I've got to agree with Nick here.  While it may seem harsh and unmotherly, jail is probably the safest place for her.  You can repair your relationship later..but if he kills her you will never have the chance...

[kat1lifeleft]

I know you don't know me but I live in middle Georgia and if she needs a safe place for a few days she's welcome here. I'm just an email away...this is seriously a fucked up situation. It's tough when you care more about someone's well being than they do. Everyone has given you great advice so I'll sign off here. My thoughts are with you...kat

[Elevated]

God damn, this may sound harsh - but I've never understood the mentality of women who stay with or are even attracted to guys like this in the first place.  They always say, "Oh, he's always so good when he's not *slicing my throat with a box cutter* (replace that with any other manner of insane act), I just couldn't leave him!".

I mean, come on, what does it take?  I think most people have been in love, but when someone commits that sort of act against you, can you really even believe they love you anymore? 

And I don't care that he was high as fuck on ice when he did it, that is no fucking excuse.  If you can't handle your drugs, don't do 'em.

Anyway, enough of my rant, you need to get her out of that relationship and get her some help or she's going to end up dead.  This guy needs to end up dead or locked up for life, he's fucking insane.  Can you not talk sense into her?  Get her somewhere safe, seriously.

[Z]

You almost have to get her away from him for a bit, so that she can start to see that what he is doing isn't love.  You don't hurt someone that you love.

It is so sad that these guys are so good at getting these girls so utterly hooked on them.  To the point of convincing them it is their fault they got hurt, and that they are the only person who will ever love someone ugly and horrible like the girl.  It is so totallfy fucked up. 

You have to get them away for a bit.  Once they realize that they are ok without the guy, and that people love and care for them.  Slowly they come around, and realize how toxic the guy is.

You just have to break the abusive conditioning somehow.  I hope that your daughter is okay.  My heart goes out to her.

[DeadCat]

She's obviously suffering from battered spouse syndrome .Throw addiction in and she's not going to listen.

I rarely say this,but calling the cops(poor as police response often is  to domestic abuse) would be the way to go. This isn't someone giving your daughter a beating,this sounds frighteningly like attempted murder.It's not just the cut throat,it's this happening in a remote place with no witnesses. This was pre-planned,attempted murder.

I'd call the cops and worry about my relationship with my daughter later.

bUT, this is you choice alone-much luck to both you and your daughter with whatever you decide.

This IS attempted murdr. I wouldn't think twice about calling the cops , at least on the "street ethics" that say you don't snitch. What is more important, your daughter's life or being called a snitch?

Snitching is dropping a dime on somebody whop's holding or a small time deal, not a throught -slicer. 

Cops will get hard-on's to put this guy in cuffs and if he is that crazy on ice he might just offer a confession and he will be locked up in jail or a nut house fora very long time. I know most of us don't care for cops and we all know they have gotten out of control lately but things like this is why we do need cops.

Don't go after him yourself or with a "posse" that could backfire and you or one of your crew could get hurt or go to jail. Find a sympathetic lawyer and arrange to meet detectives away from the station and if your daughter won't come along bring photos of the wound. GIve them her BF's name, address, phone number and anything else that might hep them find him. If he's not on the run he will be in jail by the end of the wek and they may not grant him an affordable bail.

This may actually be what it takes to save your daughter's life and if not hers, his next girlfriend's... and you could have stopped it.

Sorry to sound judgemental or unympathetic but this is one of those things that justify telling the cops. Also for serious crimes like this the DA can prosecute even w/o the consent of the victim so she can't just "drop the charges" at best she could perjure herself at trial and say someone else did it in a bar fight but that won't hold up. She'd have to be screaming about "You got the wrong guy" and if you testify and say she is in his thrall and lying to protect him he'll go. And he should.

Wishing you strength.

[Sand and Water]

God damn, this may sound harsh - but I've never understood the mentality of women who stay with or are even attracted to guys like this in the first place.  They always say, "Oh, he's always so good when he's not *slicing my throat with a box cutter* (replace that with any other manner of insane act), I just couldn't leave him!".

I mean, come on, what does it take?  I think most people have been in love, but when someone commits that sort of act against you, can you really even believe they love you anymore? 

And I don't care that he was high as fuck on ice when he did it, that is no fucking excuse.  If you can't handle your drugs, don't do 'em.

Anyway, enough of my rant, you need to get her out of that relationship and get her some help or she's going to end up dead.  This guy needs to end up dead or locked up for life, he's fucking insane.  Can you not talk sense into her?  Get her somewhere safe, seriously.

Man, this is really hard to write but if it helps somebody its worth it. This is what gives me hope--that there are more guys than not that don't "get it". (Big compliment, not sarcasm).  This topic is still painful decades later, but the best way I know to explain the "mentality" of abused women speaking from experience is this: it doesn't happen overnight...it starts with "small" stuff like. "Oh you're over-reacting, you on the rag again?" and other demeaning comments. Then cutting down and eventually making it a choice between the woman's relationships with friends and family OR the guy she thinks she loves. After a certain point, you rely on and believe the BS because as Z said, you've been conditioned for quite a while. I found myself constantly defending my actions & opinions.

It didn't occur to me that I had the right to say "screw you if you don't like my opinion". Hand to god, when nothing else was "wrong", I got backhanded for chewing a sandwich too loudly. By then I had no friends and my family knew not to contact me much because "he'd be upset". Messed up? Oh yeah... I thank god i found a friend who refused to be driven off/disgusted by the "unseemly situation" and w/her & her hubby's help, I was able to start to "hear" reality. It took her telling me over and over and over again that I didn't deserve that life. It's hard to believe when you've been beat down for so long.

It's all about bring isolated and having no other perspective. I hate to say it about the police, but yes a call should be made (& prolly to CPS too unless you can legally keep your grandbaby away Bama). Having said that, the reality still today with domestic violence is the victim is often put on trial so to speak. Especially with CPS.  Some legal attitudes have changed, but spend a day hanging around a Family Court & watch and listen. It's still something that can go either way, depending on the attitudes of the police, judge etc.

I know this is a really hard place to be--whatever you do Bama, try to make sure your grand baby is safe first. I think someone mentioned if you know the guys routine, maybe try to come up with a plan around that. Like if he's going to be gone for most of the day, call the police anonymously while he's gone to get help for the baby (& your daughter too if she'll accept it).  Fwiw, I got the first protective order the day my daughter turned two weeks old--hoping hard your daughter will find the strength to get out for her child's sake if not her own. Still praying for all of you.

[Zoops]

So now she's back out there smokin speed and you're stuck with her daughter?

God Damn I can't imagine cutting a girl's throat then having her right back with me, all bandaged up, a few days later. Doesn't compute.

You need to tell on the guy, stat!

Just call it in. If she gets hemmed up with him on some drugs-related shit then so be it. It won't be much trouble for her. I can forsee them dropping the drugs charges in exchange for her testifying against him for ABDUCTION and ATTEMPTED MURDER big time.

But if she stays with him, smoking that damnable stuff, no telling what horrors might occur. Do it for Joss, at the very least, but also for your daughter and all the women that this freak might encounter in the rest of his miserable, short life.

Because eventually, if he hasn't found it in you, he's gonna find the wrong one, and it'll be curtains for him, or at least 20 years in a prison, watchin' TV an' playin spades, pinochle and scrabble and shit (scratch the Scrabble - he don't sound to intelligent).

Oh, and I've been at the business end of a protective order before too, except my ex was crazy as a bat and lied through her fuckin teeth on the affidavit saying she was "afraid I would shoot her," and that "I was shooting up our baby with drugs." Since they didn't have a shred of proof about the baby/drugs thing, they didn't prosecute, but they DID grant the protective order, which quashed my concealed carry permit, and this crazy bitch called the COPS on me for DUI once, ended up getting me arrested and doing 10 days in jail for that. That DUI snitch thing was before the protective order, and I had a loaded .44 mag in my backpack in the passenger seat, along with a bottle of cheap vodka. When I told the lady cop that I had a weapon in the car, she asked if it was loaded, I was like "of course it's loaded!"

That gun ended up in some cop's collection no doubt, although the official line on it was that it was "destroyed" in October 2010. RIP one Ruger Blackhawk.

Fucking cops, but they do serve a purpose.

But in cases like this, where there's a clear need for law enforcement intervention, then I say pull out all the stops.

[BamaPainGurl (OP)]

Sometimes, cause y'all are truly my only friends and confidantes, I forget that y'all don't know all the common details about me. I guess that's a good and bad thing.

As for Joss, my granddaughter, I've had legal custody of her since she was 9 mos. old. We pulled her out of a very dangerous situation. My daughter seems to seek those out. So she is in no danger.

My daughter is supposed to go to my mother's this afternoon sometime. I have no other information. She cut me out quite some time ago, so I have no idea where she lives or where to begin looking. When she was here she was adamant about her course of action. As I am adamant about mine. As soon as she gets to my mother's, I will call the sheriff. Until then, I have nowhere to send them, not even a phone number to trace tower pings. The guy smashed them all after deciding K was the police. This is where the snitch part comes in, I'm not in the least concerned about ratting this guy out, cause as everyone said and I agree, this is not snitching. But someone told him that K was snitching, so he decided to get rid of the rat. Makes no sense, as she was doing the deals too.. he is just crazy as a shithouse rat. And yes I do worry about the next person he decides needs dead. Especially if it is K again.

As far as I understand, these two were not in a relationship. It is a long term friendship. Since elementary school. So it's not even battered spouse. TBH I don't know what it is. That's why I said what I did about a death wish. All the things you all have said are right and true, and what would be normal under these circumstances, is beyond effed up! I'm just waiting and praying I hear from her this evening. If not I will go to the sheriff with his name. And pray he doesn't hear about it before she gets out. 

[Serilia]

Holy fuck Such assholes in this world . I'm sorry you all must endure this hell. Hopefully dudes legs get accidentally smashed with a sledgehammer.

[Chip]

I know this is horrible news and apologise on behalf of the tweakers ... there are many, many "meth-tragics" out there but not all of them.

... plus, it's an embarrassment.

people all make the same mistake of taking too much, too soon ... the drug can be used as a catalyst for evil deeds (by giving unwaranted motivation and courage -- and even perhaps getting the blame for the whole thing (weak fools)); therein lies the problem.

[BamaPainGurl (OP)]

No worries Chipper, I spent enough years in active addiction to know all users aren't the same. Although that drug is the harshest when it comes to creating terrible people I know they aren't all terrible.

I never heard from her tonight so tomorrow I start an all out posse, old western style serve for her and eventually her attacker. I won't be stupid about it but I need more information than "someone took a box cutter to my kids throat". And thinking about how she said it went down, if this really did take place in Ga., will my local authorities even touch it? Good grief I don't want to think anymore tonight.

[Morfy]

I am going to derail this thread slightly, but its for Bama-PG:


The avatar I made you is too big, and it is getting clipped, so I made two smaller versions for you to try.


MEDIUM SQUIRREL





SMALL SQUIRREL





Bama-PG: try the MEDIUM sized one first.  If its still too large, then use the SMALL one.

[BamaPainGurl (OP)]

  Gotchya! Thanks sweet Morfy!

[Daughter of Dionysus]

Wow
Just wow
I REALLY hope there is something
You can do for your daughter

I've seen my sister
Go thru similar shit
Like having a gun put to her head

And no this is in no way
Snitching

I wish you and your daughter
The very best

[Elevated]

God damn, this may sound harsh - but I've never understood the mentality of women who stay with or are even attracted to guys like this in the first place.  They always say, "Oh, he's always so good when he's not *slicing my throat with a box cutter* (replace that with any other manner of insane act), I just couldn't leave him!".

I mean, come on, what does it take?  I think most people have been in love, but when someone commits that sort of act against you, can you really even believe they love you anymore? 

And I don't care that he was high as fuck on ice when he did it, that is no fucking excuse.  If you can't handle your drugs, don't do 'em.

Anyway, enough of my rant, you need to get her out of that relationship and get her some help or she's going to end up dead.  This guy needs to end up dead or locked up for life, he's fucking insane.  Can you not talk sense into her?  Get her somewhere safe, seriously.

Man, this is really hard to write but if it helps somebody its worth it. This is what gives me hope--that there are more guys than not that don't "get it". (Big compliment, not sarcasm).  This topic is still painful decades later, but the best way I know to explain the "mentality" of abused women speaking from experience is this: it doesn't happen overnight...it starts with "small" stuff like. "Oh you're over-reacting, you on the rag again?" and other demeaning comments. Then cutting down and eventually making it a choice between the woman's relationships with friends and family OR the guy she thinks she loves. After a certain point, you rely on and believe the BS because as Z said, you've been conditioned for quite a while. I found myself constantly defending my actions & opinions.

It didn't occur to me that I had the right to say "screw you if you don't like my opinion". Hand to god, when nothing else was "wrong", I got backhanded for chewing a sandwich too loudly. By then I had no friends and my family knew not to contact me much because "he'd be upset". Messed up? Oh yeah... I thank god i found a friend who refused to be driven off/disgusted by the "unseemly situation" and w/her & her hubby's help, I was able to start to "hear" reality. It took her telling me over and over and over again that I didn't deserve that life. It's hard to believe when you've been beat down for so long.

It's all about bring isolated and having no other perspective. I hate to say it about the police, but yes a call should be made (& prolly to CPS too unless you can legally keep your grandbaby away Bama). Having said that, the reality still today with domestic violence is the victim is often put on trial so to speak. Especially with CPS.  Some legal attitudes have changed, but spend a day hanging around a Family Court & watch and listen. It's still something that can go either way, depending on the attitudes of the police, judge etc.

I know this is a really hard place to be--whatever you do Bama, try to make sure your grand baby is safe first. I think someone mentioned if you know the guys routine, maybe try to come up with a plan around that. Like if he's going to be gone for most of the day, call the police anonymously while he's gone to get help for the baby (& your daughter too if she'll accept it).  Fwiw, I got the first protective order the day my daughter turned two weeks old--hoping hard your daughter will find the strength to get out for her child's sake if not her own. Still praying for all of you.

Thanks for the response, it helps shed a little light on the situation.  Not sure it fully makes sense to me, but I guess that makes sense considering I'm not a woman and have never been in that situation.

[BamaPainGurl (OP)]

Well, she is at my mothers right now. I am giving her time to settle in a but then I'm gonna go talk to her about having the bastard arrested. Here's hoping she has compassion for herself and the next person. I haven't seen her so I don't have any more info than I did before.