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Offline Chip

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #29 on: October 06, 2015, 04:12:24 AM »
I wouldn't want my partner to use - it's too conflicting.

keep looking around, you'll get lucky later if you persist.
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Offline thetalkingasshole (OP)

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #30 on: October 06, 2015, 04:40:26 AM »
How many more years of rejection am I looking at?

Kind of feels not worth it
much better to just keep to myself
and keep hating everyone and everything
(While getting high to my liking of course)

It sounds even more depressing
but its a lot easier to ignoree those feelings
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Offline Chip

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #31 on: October 06, 2015, 06:03:32 AM »
i know a doctor who got married for the second time at 90+ y/o, to a sprightly 80+ girl and they're nuts about each other, i believe.

everyone's time is different. taking drugs can allay sadness and depression while you work towards "your time".

must keep up hope - it's good to aim for that.

remember, just remain friendly and useful to your friends and propsective lovers, and keep a mysterious air about you (that you have anyway by being a user) ... independence is alluring and confidence is appealing, look for a complimentary person with attributes that you'd love to have.

much, much luck with that.
« Last Edit: October 06, 2015, 06:05:41 AM by Chipper »
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Offline thetalkingasshole (OP)

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #32 on: October 06, 2015, 10:40:12 PM »
i know a doctor who got married for the second time at 90+ y/o, to a sprightly 80+ girl and they're nuts about each other, i believe.

everyone's time is different. taking drugs can allay sadness and depression while you work towards "your time".

must keep up hope - it's good to aim for that.

remember, just remain friendly and useful to your friends and propsective lovers, and keep a mysterious air about you (that you have anyway by being a user) ... independence is alluring and confidence is appealing, look for a complimentary person with attributes that you'd love to have.

much, much luck with that.

thank chip, ya know how to make a man feel better  ;D
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Offline skramamme

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #33 on: October 16, 2015, 06:44:59 PM »
I used to let small bits of info out as I have more dates.
I remember those first few dates with my last partner/boyfriend/abusive arsehole, where pretty much every meeting ended up with a little more of my dodgy past being revealed;
 
"so, have you ever heard of a thing called methadone? it's for heroin addiction. Don't worry, I don't use anymore..." (that was a lie but hey)
"so, I worked as a stripper for years and, um, still do sometimes..."
"I was arrested and charged with trafficking heroin back in the day..."
"Oh yeah, I did some time too haha. Yeah, for armed robbery.."

But I'm a totally nice gal! Trust me, let me into your straight guy life!

I should have told him "don't stick your dick in the crazy mate, I'll drive you insane"  ;D ;D ;D

But for real, I haven't had a date or a boyfriend (or girlfriend) or anything remotely resembling physical contact of the grown up kind for 7 or 8 years now.
I doubt I will ever meet someone and I think I'm starting to be ok with it. I think people look at us and just think "too much baggage"  Especially when you're an addict and a single parent :-\

Anyway, I hear you and can totally relate.

Hey, at least you had one date, right? That means there's some hope for you yet <3
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Offline LoneRanger7

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #34 on: October 16, 2015, 09:23:32 PM »
I have to be with a partner with the same proclivities. The couple that uses together, ends up on maintenance together! I'm lucky that most of my past SO's didn't try to scam for more than their half of the drugs - I think they knew that was a deal breaker hahaha!
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Offline skramamme

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #35 on: October 17, 2015, 07:53:16 AM »
I have to be with a partner with the same proclivities. The couple that uses together, ends up on maintenance together! I'm lucky that most of my past SO's didn't try to scam for more than their half of the drugs - I think they knew that was a deal breaker hahaha!

MTE, I tried it with a "nice guy" who didn't use and who would, I thought, provide a good father figure for my daughter and it was a fucking catastrophe. I ended up with anorexia and relapsing and he ended up abusive and a fucking bastard.

He didn't get why I couldn't just get off the methadone and had no interest in who I really was and just thought he had "saved" me.

He even used to say "I bet you never imagined you could have a life like this" and "imagine where you would be if I hadn't come along"
Ugh real ~white night~ to rescue the fucked up chick.

So yep, I think I would only be interested in a fellow MMT patient, occasional user, ex user (without the sanctimonious NA shite), biker, international drug king pin who would like to indulge in cocaine and heroin fueled orgies hahahaha  ;D ;D ;D
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Of all the things I value most in life
I see my memories and feel their warmth
And know that they are good,
You know that I should

Offline smalls

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #36 on: October 19, 2015, 06:45:05 AM »
Ah yes. I remember posting in the thread about dating/drug use/honesty, if it is the one thetalkingasshole is referring to. I haven't been on a date with a new person since the experience I mentioned in the other thread - when I had my honesty thrown back in my face when the relationship didn't go the way the other person wanted. I suppose now I prefer to just make new friends and see if a romantic/sexual relationship can grow out of that. But that still doesn't get me away from the dilemma of when-to-tell and what-to-tell.

I just moved and am having to build a network of friends from scratch so this is something that has come up a lot recently, for me. It seems that since the "heroin epidemic" has percolated into the mainstream, everyone you (I) meet has been touched by addiction. And not just, "Oh, yea, my cousin's girlfriend used to do pills," but so far every time the topic of drugs has come up with a new acquaintance they end up telling a story about a close friend dying of an overdose.

I know this is just me being a whiner, but it is really hard to change someone's idea of what a drug user is if they have already experienced something negative. I feel like a decade ago drugs were maybe more mysterious, farther removed from the average person's life, and so they would have a blank slate, or at least an open mind about what being a drug user can mean.

So once the topic of drugs comes up, which it inevitably does, and they tell their friend's overdose story, that's when I basically shut down and decide I'll never tell them. I want to be in control of my own identity, not have it painted on to me based on someone's past experience with drug users. (Past experience with drug users vs past personal experience with drugs is key here.)

Which is all to say - damn I'm having a helluva time finding people I can be open with!
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Offline Thoms

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #37 on: October 19, 2015, 07:27:40 AM »
Lone ranger hit that shit on the head. Love is two junkies who dont hide their stash from each other and trust each other to not lift any pills. Love is giving your dopesick partner your wash or the fent patch thats been partially cheeked. Is shaking and shivering and stinking like rotten humans together when your both sick and being empathetic to each other even when they burned through their drugs faster than you.

But things work different for everyone.
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Fear and self loathing in thoms.

Offline Chip

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #38 on: October 19, 2015, 08:03:47 AM »
Lone ranger hit that shit on the head. Love is two junkies who dont hide their stash from each other and trust each other to not lift any pills. Love is giving your dopesick partner your wash or the fent patch thats been partially cheeked. Is shaking and shivering and stinking like rotten humans together when your both sick and being empathetic to each other even when they burned through their drugs faster than you.

But things work different for everyone.

is that REALLY possible ? it sounds wonderful in theory but the addiction is a personal trip, too.
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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #39 on: October 19, 2015, 08:26:52 AM »
I have to be with a partner with the same proclivities. The couple that uses together, ends up on maintenance together! I'm lucky that most of my past SO's didn't try to scam for more than their half of the drugs - I think they knew that was a deal breaker hahaha!

He didn't get why I couldn't just get off the methadone and had no interest in who I really was and just thought he had "saved" me.


I've said this before and I'll say it again, I WISH everyone on this planet had to go through heroin withdrawal for 2 or 3 days - just once.  How much are you willing to bet a majority would change their views on addicts and have a better understanding of why it's not as easy as "just quit!".
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Offline LoneRanger7

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #40 on: October 19, 2015, 08:41:38 AM »
Lone ranger hit that shit on the head. Love is two junkies who dont hide their stash from each other and trust each other to not lift any pills. Love is giving your dopesick partner your wash or the fent patch thats been partially cheeked. Is shaking and shivering and stinking like rotten humans together when your both sick and being empathetic to each other even when they burned through their drugs faster than you.

But things work different for everyone.

is that REALLY possible ? it sounds wonderful in theory but the addiction is a personal trip, too.

Sure it is. Some people don't find it, but it's possible, I been there before. Where even though there's two addicts so each score is cut in half you got two hustlers out there making something out of nothing... It's the only way. Those fckn squares that think they "save" you from yourself, man fuck that noise, I hate those sanctimonious bitches. You know where I'd be if you hadn't helped me, I'd be high right now and a hell of a lot happier Bitch!
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Offline skramamme

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #41 on: October 19, 2015, 06:11:50 PM »
Lone ranger hit that shit on the head. Love is two junkies who dont hide their stash from each other and trust each other to not lift any pills. Love is giving your dopesick partner your wash or the fent patch thats been partially cheeked. Is shaking and shivering and stinking like rotten humans together when your both sick and being empathetic to each other even when they burned through their drugs faster than you.

But things work different for everyone.

First of all, your user pic always makes me smile

Secondly, yeah I agree that's the dream in many ways.

I kinda had that, except for the stuff where it really wasn't haha
True story, me and my ex (rip) were on again/off again for 7 1/2 years and lived in the same shitty public housing flat, sometimes sharing a room, sometimes not.

Anyway, one night I got back from work (I was a stripper) and hid my money down the front of my kickers as we were "off again" and I didn't want him disappearing for hours with my $$$

So I wake up and the money's gone and he's left a note there instead, saying "gotta be more clever than that"

Sonofabitch managed to lift cash that was down my frigging knickers while I was asleep!

My nickname for him was "the artful dodger" because he could charm the birds from the trees while robbing them of their wings... the fucker.

But I miss him regardless y'know, because despite the bad (and there was a lot of bad) he got me like no one else ever had.
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I see my memories and feel their warmth
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You know that I should

Offline Chip

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #42 on: October 19, 2015, 06:20:40 PM »
they say that you shouldn't leave temptation around ... the dope compromises the ethics, sadly for some.
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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #43 on: October 19, 2015, 06:55:30 PM »
Sure it is. Some people don't find it, but it's possible, I been there before. Where even though there's two addicts so each score is cut in half you got two hustlers out there making something out of nothing... It's the only way. Those fckn squares that think they "save" you from yourself, man fuck that noise, I hate those sanctimonious bitches. You know where I'd be if you hadn't helped me, I'd be high right now and a hell of a lot happier Bitch!

It's possible, but is it sustainable? I guess it depends on what you're looking for in a relationship and how actively you're using. What if a person is on maintenance? Is it best to date someone who is also on maintenance?

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Offline Chip

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Re: "Oh by the way, I'm physically dependent on morphine."
« Reply #44 from previous page: October 19, 2015, 07:01:07 PM »
everybody is on their own trajectory.

true sync. is rare I'd hazzard a guess.
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